Not everyone knows how to handle obstacles.
Most people tend to quit at the sight of adversity…
Overcoming obstacles and standing tall in adversity are a learned behavior.
To turn your trials into triumphs, you must:
- Change our bad perceptions of events.
- Take directive actions.
- Strengthen your will power.
Change your perception
Your perception has power over you and your decisions.
Building up your perception takes time and a lot of practice.
You must discipline your emotions and objectively perceive your world for what it is and not for how it wants to be seen in order to :
- Temper your passions and primal feelings,
- Become objective and access the truth.
- Stay cool under pressure.
- Stay present and positive.
Your mind is a powerful tool. To actively change your perception:
- Understand that you cannot change the obstacles.
- Understand that you are in control of how you perceive the world and your obstacles.
- Believe that you can choose how to respond to different situations. You can always oppose negativity or shake it off.
- Trust that you are the one who decides of the outcome of the situation.
- Assume that there are no good or bad events in life. By thinking so, you make it so.
- Feel your emotions but get your emotions under control.
- Tell yourself the truth and be authentic.
- Use your personal resources wisely. For example, don’t waste your time trying to understand why a situation is the way it is. Those reasons don’t matter.
- See obstacles as challenges or opportunities to observe, to grow, to improve yourself, to acquire new skills and to try new tactics.
- Do not make assumptions.
- Be present, be bold and take calculated risks.
Take directive action
After you have corrected your perception, it is time to learn how to act it out.
Each and every one of your actions must serve a purpose.
To act towards your goals with your new perception:
- Remember that where you start is not where you will end.
- Start somewhere and fight to create momentum in whatever you undertake.
- Take the time to explore and to learn.
- Avoid complaining and take “directive action”. If you have taken action, persevere and don’t quit no matter what.
- Expect the execution of your plan will be difficult.
- See obstacles as a way to test your character.
- Turn negatives into positives.
- Do not dwell or waste time dwelling on the hand that life has dealt you.
- Take responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t let distractions or failed actions stop you. Instead, fail forward, learn from your failures and don’t take them personally.
- Manage your energy and always do your best with what you have.
Increase your will power
Your will power is something that can never be taken from you.
Maintaining it requires a deep understanding of life.
To increase your will power:
- Anticipate and prepare yourself for adversity so you do not get caught by surprise.
- Forge your strengths and take care of your weaknesses when there is not adversity.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is a motivational book that encourages people to withstand adversity and to take action despite adversity. Ryan Holiday shares a philosophical approach, rooted in stoicism, that will help you confront obstacles and turn them upside down.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is destined for leaders and entrepreneurs who:
- Face challenges on a daily basis,
- Need to make pragmatic decisions and take calculated risks,
- Want to take their career or business to the next level.
Holiday‘s entire book is based on classical references, historical figures and war leaders, who have distinguished themselves in life and who have adopted stoicism as a life strategy.
Finally, Ryan Holiday also incorporates reputable leaders and entrepreneurs as examples of resilience and will power. If you want to stay motivated and push through your challenges, this book is for you.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness. If we are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, we only add to our troubles.
Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we’ll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate.
Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power.
But every ounce of energy directed at things we can’t actually influence is wasted—self-indulgent and self-destructive. So much power—ours, and other people’s—is frittered away in this manner.
If you mean it when you say you’re at the end of your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity to experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set.
Leadership requires determination and energy. And certain situations, at times, call on leaders to marshal that determined energy simply to endure.
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What is your Best Self?
When you are being your best self, you are being your most authentic and at your core.
1. How to connect with your Best Self?
Connecting with your Best Self takes time and requires patience. To get in touch with your Best Self:
- Express gratitude frequently to get out of a negative space. Make a gratitude list of everything that puts you in a good mood or elevates you in any kind of way.
- Embrace change. Everybody can change if they want to, they just have to apply the right motivations.
- Identify your fears. Once you have identified your fears, put them to the test to see if your assumptions are true, if they are rational, if they help you succeed, or if they serve your best interests.
- Recognize any signs of egotistical behavior. Once you have acknowledge your behavior, assess the origins of it and get your ego in check.
2. Assessing your Best Self
“SPHERES stands for Social life, Personal life, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment, and Spiritual life”.
The SPHERES tool, create by Mike Bayer, is a screening tool used to assess your Best Self in all areas of your life.
Your social life
In the SPHERES tool, your social situation determines how well you project your Best Self to the world.
It then becomes imperative to analyze how you interact with people. You can also assess your ability to send clear messages, to listen to others, to embrace human emotions, to handle highly charged situations, to give and receive feedback.
Your personal life
Your personal life contains your self-image, your self-talk, the level of compassion and respect you have for yourself.
To create the personal life that you want, you will have to:
- Rewire your brain to think positively by challenging your internal dialogue.
- Get familiar with what you are constantly telling yourself.
- Identify the messages you tell yourself when you are under pressure.
- Log your thoughts and your self-talk, identify the common themes and tones.
- Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of yourself and monitor your stress levels before they snowball. If you take care of yourself, you will definitely be able to take care of others.
- Connect with your passions. Your passions will vary throughout your life. Your passions will allow you to express yourself, to strengthen your bond with your Best Self and vibrate at a higher frequency. To find your passions, explore new things, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone.
Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be present, keep a clear mind and achieve your Best Self.
Remaining in a “lifetime learning mode” will help you evolve into your Best Self and become more self-aware.
Once you find your passions, you will take pleasure in acquiring knowledge in that field.
Your relationships reflect who you are as a person.
Your Best Self will gauge who you want to be around, judge the health of a relationship and help you make the tough decisions.
In order to stay connected to your Best Self in all relationships, you must define your core values, exercise them and identify the people who live up to them.
We spend most of our days at work.
So, when we are not able to fully be ourselves, our work life tends to become draining.
It somehow becomes important to nurture our Best Selves at work or create a career path that allows us to maximize our potential at work.
In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer encourages people to be their Best Self.
In addition, Mike Bayer shares tips and tools to help you achieve your Best Self. He helps you make a diagnostic of all the aspects of your life and provides practical solutions to your problems.
Furthermore, Best Self: Be You, Only Better is a workbook that teaches you how to fix what’s inside to fix outside. It is on point when it comes to assessing people’s behavior and can conveniently be revisited several time in your life.
Best Self: Be You, Only Better is ideal for leaders who want to improve their leadership skills and bring their best selves at work. It becomes clear that if you are your best self, you can create the best teams, take care of others and create the best organization.
With this workbook:
- Get in touch with your Best Self.
- Reach your highest potential.
- Find more balance in your life.
- Evolve, change, reinvent yourself and improve your life.
- Learn to handle adversity and crisis.
- Discover your truth and your purpose.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Many of society’s “rules” simply don’t apply to us as individuals, and if we spend all our energy on trying to be, do, say, and act like society wants us to, we are simply wasting time we could be spending on discovering and connecting with our Best Self.
Self-care is foundational to living your ideal life.
Following through is hard but gratifying in the long run…
Some people usually don’t follow through because they self-sabotage, misuse their time and energy by procrastinating, setting impossible goals, managing their time poorly, yielding to temptations and distractions.
Other people have internal roadblocks that impede them from taking action because they are either lazy, lack discipline and willpower, fear judgement, rejection or failure, try to be perfect, are too insecure, lack self-awareness, are unconsciously protecting themselves.
Indeed, people who have interval roadblocks and who fail to follow through:
- Set unrealistic expectations for themselves and end up underachieving or underperforming.
- Overthink everything and lean towards negative thoughts which paralyzes them. Making a decision becomes difficult because they don’t have clear rules and priorities.
- Worry too much. They ruminate on past, present, future, real, fictitious problems that are most likely out of their control.
- Don’t know themselves well enough to create the best goals and environment for themselves.
The Requirements of Following Through
Following through requires four elements: focus, self-discipline, action and persistence.
With focus, you are able to keep “your head in the game and your eyes on the prize”. You concentrate all your effort and energy onto achieving your goals.
With self-discipline, you are bale to regulate your thoughts, control your focus and to work regardless of your emotions and your circumstances.
With action, you are able to get closer to the finish line, execute the plan and translate your intentions.
With persistence, you will develop resilience and be able to push through until you have achieved success.
How To Start Following Through?
To start following through, you have to take a good look at yourself, build a better relationship with yourself, develop the right mindset and equip yourself with the best tools to succeed.
To develop the mindset, you must believe that:
- You are capable and hard work leads to success.
- The steps that you take are purposeful and fit into a bigger picture.
- Discomfort is necessary to success. Following through will require you to get out of your comfort zone and do things that you have never done before.
- The information and knowledge you acquire increase with the steps that you take. You learn more about yourself on top of learning new skills and life lessons.
- Taking care of your mental health will reinforce your willpower and discipline.
Is Following Through Good For You?
Sometimes, you will have to make the decision to follow through or to give up.
To make the best decisions, you have to create a set of rules that will serve as a guideline, a code of conduct, a task roadmap and a mission statement.
Methods For Following Through
To stay motivated enough to follow through, you must identify the things that motivate you.
Some people want to avoid negative consequences at all cost and will do everything in their power to succeed.
Others are pushed forward by the need and desire to improve their lives.
To stop procrastinating and to follow through:
- Associate your present goals with an activity that provides instant gratification.
- Break down huge goals in small manageable steps.
- Evaluate the risks of inaction.
- Create an environment free from distractions and temptations.
- Avoid multitasking and focus on one single task at a time.
- Group similar tasks together and accomplish them all in one batch.
- Create lists of tasks that don’t add value or that are out of your control in order to discharge your mental load.
- Acquire between 40% and 70% of information.
- Allow yourself to recover mentally from time to time to avoid burnout.
There are many reasons why people stay stagnant in life. In Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline, Peter Hollins breaks down the psychology and the art of following through on your goals.
Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline is recommended for people who struggle to get things done and is full of powerful tools to help you take action and achieve your goals.
Peter Hollins jumpstarts you towards your dreams, shares several tactics to execute whatever you set your mind to and makes some very good points when it comes to the mistakes people make when pursuing their goals.
Following through boils down to extracting lessons from past failures and knowing yourself well enough to create the best environments, rules and roadmaps for you to succeed.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Focus guides your thoughts in figuring out how to follow through and directs your actions toward achieving your vision.
Leisure is an important part of life, but if it’s excessive and takes the place of reasonable productivity, then it becomes a vice.
Follow-through is 100% mental. It takes a cognitive effort to follow through on something, especially when you hit discouraging obstacles.
Stop judging yourself and others for being different. We are all different.
Our productivity is very fragile and requires particular care to flourish. Treat yourself to what helps you thrive if you want to follow through.
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Leaders are generally very busy and have a tendency to spread themselves pretty thin.
They dabble in multiple activities but don’t take the time to relax and to smell the flowers.
While achieving their goals, it seems that they forget to live life to the fullest and can hardly make the difference between Monday, Friday or Saturday.
Wondering how leaders live their life to the fullest?
Living life to the fullest means that you go after what you want without letting fear get in the way.
1. Leaders focus on themselves
Leaders work towards their goals everyday, focus on themselves and not on others.
Leaders who live their life to the fullest focus their time and energy on things that matter.
2. Leaders give way to their imagination
Leaders don’t downsize their dreams.
Instead, they dream so big that it scares them.
They expect great things from themselves.
They are just convinced that they will succeed no matter what.
3. Leaders are self-assured
They don’t care what others think about them and don’t live by other people’s expectation.
In addition, they say yes to opportunities that they want, they don’t settle for less, for people or a job they don’t respect.
Furthermore, leaders don’t complain, make excuses, or procrastinate.
4. Leaders go after what they really want
Life is shorter than we think. Years go by in a blimp and leaders know that.
I can hardly remember what happened last year and the year before that.
All I know is that I didn’t do what I really wanted to do.
To go after what they really want, leaders:
- Maximize their potential
- Choose their job and activities carefully (if they can).
- Are selective of whom and what they give their energy to.
5. Leaders do something that they really enjoy everyday
If you like to read like I do, you can take time off at lunch or in the commute to read and to unwind.
Their life choices are not tied to monetary issues.
6. Leaders don’t take life too seriously
Leaders have huge responsibilities.
Paradoxically, they don’t take life too seriously.
Leaders learn to laugh at themselves and their circumstances.
They relax when they have to, and don’t succumb to negative emotions and behaviors.
For them, being positive is a state of mind but most importantly it’s a choice.
7. Leaders walk in their purpose
Leaders live life from the inside out: they know that how they think will demonstrate itself.
Therefore, Every little thing that they do had purpose.
They stick to their system of values and live in alignment with their purpose.
They have clear defined values and a personal mission statement that they live by.
8. Leaders are present
Leaders consider everyday to be a new day.
They don’t let life rule them, they stay present and don’t look back at the past failures.
9. Leaders are forgiving
They do not hold on to past hurts, memories and to people who degrade them.
10. Leaders are authentic
They are committed to grow.
They don’t want to live someone else’s life.
They don’t want to be surrounded by people they don’t like or respect.
11. Leaders are people persons
They enjoy alone time.
They surround themselves with people who push them to grow, to be better and to do better.
12. Leaders are curious
Leaders get out of their comfort zone.
They seek to know more and to upgrade their mindset.
Last Words Of Advice!
We all have an idea of the person we want to become in life.
Don’t wait to have everything 100% in place to behave like your ideal self.
Remember, it’s your life and you create your own life experiences.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
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According to Carol S. Dweck in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, children are eager to learn and never worry about failing.
It is only when they grow up that they don’t want to look foolish, and start defining themselves by their failures and successes.
However, the most successful people don’t worry about failing and have developed a Growth Mindset.
What is a Growth Mindset?
The Growth Mindset can be applied to different areas of our lives.
Growth Mindset consists in converting your past failures into successes.
It shows us how to:
- Love and cope with failures.
- Turn failures into a learning experience.
- Cultivate your intelligence and most skills through failures and perseverance.
- Challenge and stretch yourself.
- Do your best and put forth the effort where there needs to be.
- Change the beliefs about yourself and identify your personal qualities.
- Avoid a life of regrets.
On the other hand, the Fixed Mindset limits our achievements.
The Fixed Mindset has been instilled in us, unbeknownst to us, since our tender childhood.
When you don’t have a Growth Mindset, you tend to:
- Show more depression.
- Believe that you possess fixed traits.
- Look for outside validation or for people who are worse off than you are.
- Feel an urge to succeed and to prove yourself.
How leaders grow their mindset?
Fixed Mindset leaders only hire people who can boost their ego and make them feel superior. They use their company as a display of their superiority.
They tend to compare themselves to others, to become abusive and controlling, to pick on people who perform at their best.
- Monitor your surrounding and your thought patterns. Then, understand the implications and what you can learn from your experience.
- Learn to maintain a sense of confidence and devote yourself to growing.
- Make concrete plans that you can visualize.
- Understand that your plans will fail from time to time and that you will have to develop strategies to maintain your Growth Mindset.
- Don’t hide your mistakes and don’t be defensive about it.
- Take care of your people.
- Don’t allow groupthink and allow dissenting voices to speak up.
- Don’t feel threatened by high performing employees and help your employees improve on the job.
- Ask for feedback and for more information to learn.
- Stop beating yourself up when you have failed.
- Remember that everyday is an opportunity to learn.
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck is a self-help book that encourages introspection and teaches us how to develop a “Growth Mindset”.
In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck shares poignant examples of people who have embraced the Growth Mindset, overcome challenges and achieved personal success.
In addition, Carol S. Dweck recaps all the ways we can be harboring a fixed mindset in our parenting, relationships and leadership.
She also asks significant questions to help us determine whether or not we have a Growth or Fixed Mindset.
I wish there were more detained and practical advice or a step by step guide on how to acquire a Growth Mindset.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
People may start with different temperaments and different aptitudes, but it is clear that experience, training, and personal effort take them the rest of the way.
Mindsets are just beliefs. They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.
Even in the growth mindset, failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn’t define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from.
Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow.
Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level by Mark Divine provides methods and strategies to:
- Develop an unbeatable mind.
- Deal with harsh realities.
- Increase your personal power.
- Improve your thought pattern and find your positive focus.
- Master and outperform yourself.
- Train your team.
An Unbeatable Mind?
A person with an unbeatable mind is always original, cultivates excellence, seeks to magnify his or her potential and hates mediocrity.
Furthermore, an unbeatable mind avoids group-thinking, procrastination and inaction.
According to Divine, it is imperative that you gain mental control, acquire mental toughness and develop leadership qualities.
How to find your positive focus and gain mental control?
Spending time alone and in silence, quieting your mind is discouraged in Western society.
People are therefore prone to negative thinking. However, negativity destroys performance and brings down your energy.
In order to find a positive focus and gain mental control:
- Be aware of your negativity. To become self-ware, practice silence, define your passion, principles and purpose.
- Prohibit the negative self-talk.
- Focus on positive self-talk or affirmations. Add positive imagery and feelings to those affirmations.
- Find a mantra or an affirmation that will run in the background of your mind.
How to gain mental toughness?
Mental toughness is sustaining positive focus on one task, on the one thing that keeps you going.
Mental toughness helps you concentrate on your tasks for long periods of time without any distractions.
To develop mental toughness:
- Practice concentration on a daily basis.
- Understand that your overall success depends on every single choice that you make.
- Acknowledge that the small choices lead you towards excellence and shape your life the most.
- Educate yourself on how stress works, how you react to it and learn to eliminate it from your life.
Develop the disciplines of a Warrior
According to Mark Divine, Warriors are those who have achieved mental control and mental toughness.
They have learnt to discipline their mind so they can focus on the things that matter most, maintain positive focus when they need it most, avoid being distracted by negative emotions and negative beliefs.
Since the Warrior is committed to mastering himself or herself, he or she has mastered the following disciplines:
- Simplicity. They have learnt to detach themselves from material things that they don’t need.
- Dedication. They apply themselves daily but don’t take themselves too seriously.
- Authenticity. They are honest with themselves.
- Service. They build up their character.
Warriors with unbeatable minds:
- Develop a strong plan and discipline.
- Commit daily to the plan.
- Are mindful of their decisions.
- Stay in the present moment.
- Maintain their energy and their positive focus.
- Fulfill their purpose.
- Make change happen.
- Step up their game and take action.
- Lead themselves and work with an unbeatable team.
- Do what is best for their team.
- Align their team with their vision and purpose.
Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level by Mark Divine is a great guide for being and maintaining positivity no matter what.
Mark Divine gives sound and practical advice, using his 20 years of experience as a Navy Seal.
Mark Divine applies what he learnt with the NAVY to his regular life and work. He teaches you how to:
- Discipline yourself and manage your emotions.
- Reject mediocrity.
- Build up your resilience.
- get the life and career you want.
Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level is useful for leaders, corporate teams and all those who want to condition their mind, body and soul.
I definitively loved the military aspect, principles and parallels in the book. However, because of his experience, some of his analogies are extreme and unrelatable.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Consistency is the omnipotent force behind change.
We are rarely, if ever, encouraged to spend time in silence or get to know the depth of our character.
Negativity destroys performance in the short term and precludes success and happiness in the long term.
Lack of meaning and purpose is a major cause of despair and despondency in the world.