Triggers? Everybody has them whether we want to admit or not, whether we know they exist or not.
Triggers are natural and there for self preservation purposes.
However, they show up anywhere at an inopportune time.
They make us react in appropriate ways, get us out of character and acting like a child again.
It is therefore detrimental for leaders to identify and control their triggers so that they cannot be controlled by them or someone.
Wondering how leaders identify and control their triggers?
What are TRIGGERS?
A trigger can be a person, a place, an object or an event.
Trauma is a major cause of triggers. Triggers are made of:
- Situations that threaten your well being.
- Conflicts in core values. Differences in ideas, beliefs and point of views.
- Powerlessness from physical or emotional abuse.
For example, we can be triggered when:
- We want to make a logical & rational point in serious conversation.
- We are in a safe place and having fun with friends and family.
- We are alone in a peaceful room.
- We think about the past or the future.
Triggers just like intuition are nor good or bad: they have the ability to transform us into children again but they also warn us that something around us is wrong.
Furthermore, triggers allow us to become more self-aware and to discover the true meaning behind your actions.
In addition, triggers can be stimulated internally or externally. They generally manifest themselves into:
- Eating disorders,
- Tears, fear or sadness,
- Anger, rage or other emotional outburst,
- Cold sweat and heart palpitations,
- Inability to speak (out).
How to identify your TRIGGERS?
The problem with triggers is that they don’t allow us to achieve our purpose and get what we want out of life.
Triggers set you off path. They make you wonder “What the hell was I thinking?”, “I can’t believe I just did that!!!”.
For leaders triggers can cost you your character, your credibility, your team and your money.
That is why leaders have to become aware of themselves and the systems of beliefs that are driving their behavior.
There are a few strategies leaders can adopt to identify their triggers. While you are being triggered …
1. … Pause
When you are feeling heightened emotions, pause and analyze the situation.
Where am I? What am I doing? What was said? What is the meaning of this?
3. … Be still
Learn to be still in situation of turmoil.
Feel your emotions but don’t get stuck in them.
You don’t need to react but you need to learn to respond.
2. … Gain perspective
Acknowledge whether that trigger is positive or negative.
Does it help you to make positive or negative choices? Is it serving you
If it is not, it is time to let of go or turn it around to achieve a better life.
How to control your TRIGGERS?
Triggers of managed appropriately can intuitively guide us and warn us when something is wrong or too toxic for us.
Undisciplined triggers ruin great relationships, can hurt you physically and mysteriously hijack your life.
1. Traumas are real
Everything that you see in someone is only a mere reflection of yourself.
For instance, you don’t like being ignored at work because your parents ignored you growing up.
So now, you have to examine yourself first.
Then, take responsibility for your life, traumas and for your emotions.
2. Don’t take things personally
Understand that everyone has their own insecurities.
If they trigger you even purposefully, don’t take it personally.
You cannot control people nor are you responsible for their mental and emotional health.
3. Learn to change
Not because you have been acting the same way for the last 20 years that you cannot change.
Change is possible. Change is good.
Don’t do the same thing every time you are being triggered or being triggered all the time is the right choice.
4. Be more present
Be more present to help you exercise continuous self-awareness.
This will help you monitor your thoughts and behaviors in challenging or regular situations.
By being present you stop experiencing your last threat.
5. Be more compassionate
Be compassionate with yourself.
Appreciate your peace and don’t allow anyone to control you.
You are only human and cannot be in control of your entire self 24/7.
However, forgive yourself and always do your best.
6. Remember to exercise
Exercising keeps your mind clean and puts in control of your own body.
This way, when you are triggered, you can feel the symptoms acting out throughout your body.
You will then have enough control to acknowledge and minimize these symptoms.
7. Write down your emotions and your triggers
Make a list of the things that trigger you. This way, you will know which personality type or environment to avoid.
Write down your triggers and the reasons and histories around them. Then change the story and take back control. Why do they exist? Where do they come from?
8. Learn from your experiences
When you are triggered, remember that you are not defined by your last experience and that controlling your trigger is a learning process.
Acknowledge that the opinion of others don’t matter.
Allow your experiences to make you a better and optimized version of yourself.
You will do better next time FOR SURE!
Last Words Of Advice!
You attract what you think.
Therefore, take care of your mind so that you can live an optimized and meaningful life.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
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