Mindset: The New Psychology of Success By Carol S. Dweck

According to Carol S. Dweck in Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, children are eager to learn and never worry about failing.

It is only when they grow up that they don’t want to look foolish, and start defining themselves by their failures and successes.

However, the most successful people don’t worry about failing and have developed a Growth Mindset.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success By Carol S. Dweck #books #bookreviews #mindset #leadership #leadershipskills

What is a Growth Mindset?

Mindsets are just beliefs. They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind. - Carol S. Dweck Click To Tweet

The Growth Mindset can be applied to different areas of our lives.

Growth Mindset consists in converting your past failures into successes.

It shows us how to:

  • Love and cope with failures.
  • Turn failures into a learning experience.
  • Cultivate your intelligence and most skills through failures and perseverance.
  • Challenge and stretch yourself.
  • Do your best and put forth the effort where there needs to be.
  • Change the beliefs about yourself and identify your personal qualities.
  • Avoid a life of regrets.

On the other hand, the Fixed Mindset limits our achievements.

The Fixed Mindset has been instilled in us, unbeknownst to us, since our tender childhood.

When you don’t have a Growth Mindset, you tend to:

  • Show more depression.
  • Believe that you possess fixed traits.
  • Look for outside validation or for people who are worse off than you are.
  • Feel an urge to succeed and to prove yourself.

How leaders grow their mindset?

Fixed Mindset leaders only hire people who can boost their ego and make them feel superior. They use their company as a display of their superiority.

They tend to compare themselves to others, to become abusive and controlling, to pick on people who perform at their best.

  1. Monitor your surrounding and your thought patterns. Then, understand the implications and what you can learn from your experience.
  2. Learn to maintain a sense of confidence and devote yourself to growing.
  3. Make concrete plans that you can visualize.
  4. Understand that your plans will fail from time to time and that you will have to develop strategies to maintain your Growth Mindset.
  5. Don’t hide your mistakes and don’t be defensive about it.
  6. Take care of your people.
  7. Don’t allow groupthink and allow dissenting voices to speak up.
  8. Don’t feel threatened by high performing employees and help your employees improve on the job.
  9. Ask for feedback and for more information to learn.
  10. Stop beating yourself up when you have failed.
  11. Remember that everyday is an opportunity to learn.

Review

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck is a self-help book that encourages introspection and teaches us how to develop a “Growth Mindset”.

In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol S. Dweck shares poignant examples of people who have embraced the Growth Mindset, overcome challenges and achieved personal success.

In addition, Carol S. Dweck recaps all the ways we can be harboring a fixed mindset in our parenting, relationships and leadership.

She also asks significant questions to help us determine whether or not we have a Growth or Fixed Mindset.

I wish there were more detained and practical advice or a step by step guide on how to acquire a Growth Mindset.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

People may start with different temperaments and different aptitudes, but it is clear that experience, training, and personal effort take them the rest of the way.

Mindsets are just beliefs. They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.

Even in the growth mindset, failure can be a painful experience. But it doesn’t define you. It’s a problem to be faced, dealt with, and learned from.

Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Carol S. Dweck

 

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13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success

There comes a time when leaders feel stuck in a rut, unable to solve problems or constantly being blindsided by events.

That is because they lack wisdom and character, they don’t have the appropriate knowledge of themselves and of the situation.

13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success #success #books #bookreview #leader #leadership

Books provide valuable information for leaders to grow and to improve themselves.

Reading has to play an important part in leadership.

The following books will help you improve your self-awareness, develop your character, build your vision and your purpose.

1. The Alchemist

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Author: Paulo Coelho

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Alchemist outlines the journey of a leader.

It teaches us to be ourselves and to follows our heart and gut.

It reminds us that failure always brings us closer to our success and that all we need is already within us.

 

2. The Four Agreements

 

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

He encourages us to be impeccable with our words, to not take anything personally, to not making assumptions and to do our best.

3. Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

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Author: Kim Scott

Ratings 3/5

In Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, Kim Scott reveals ways to be truthful, to develop candid relationships.

Being truthful without being a bully is difficult. Candor comes with risks but it will determine your level of success in the long run.

4. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

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Author: Amy Cuddy

Ratings: 3.5/5

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy gives advice on managing nonverbal cues to induce Presence, identifying your best authentic self, nurturing your boldest self, and creating personal power.

It is useful for leaders who want to get in touch with their best self.

5. H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.

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Author: Brad Lomenick

Ratings: 4/5

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.Brad Lomenick draws conclusions from his personal leadership style and allies spirituality with leadership.

He shares various tips on being a better leader. He also urges us to define who we are, to identify where you are going and how you will get there.

6. Principles: Life and Work

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Author: Ray Dalio

Ratings: 3/5

Dalio shares many principles to navigate life and work.

Ray Dalio encourages us to stay open-minded, to find and speak truth in order to live a healthier lifestyle, to meet our goals and to handle setbacks.

 

7. Tribes: We need you to lead us

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Author: Seth Godin

Ratings: 3/5

In Tribes: We need you to lead us, Seth Godin declares that everybody wants and needs to belong to a tribe.

He also demonstrates how challenging the status quo is a simple way to create your own tribe, to build your fellowship, to define your leadership without forcing people.

 

8. No One Understands You and What To Do About It

 

Author: Heidi Grant Halvorson

Ratings: 4/5

In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood.

She also gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.

 

9. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

 

Author: Marshall Goldsmith

Ratings: 4/5

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More SuccessfulMarshall Goldsmith helps you identify all the 21 bad behaviors that are currently holding you back from success.

He also provides different solutions so you develop your character and be your best self at work.

 

10. Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

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Author: Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Ratings 3/5

Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg list all the common self-defeating habits that we have acquired in life and have brought to work.

In order to achieve success, they show us how to get out our own way, how to stop self-sabotaging, how and what to change.

11. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less

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Author: Greg Mckeown

Ratings: 4/5

Essentialism is a thought process that drives success, that improves your decisions making and time management skills.

In Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less, Greg Mckeown replaces the false assumptions that we can do it all, that being busy means being productive, that we must accept every single opportunity that comes our way.

12. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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Author: Daniel H. Pink

Ratings: 4/5

In Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Daniel H. Pink shows us that people are not motivated by common external factors such as money or fame. 

Daniel H. Pink reveals that people’s behaviors are mostly driven by purpose, passion, autonomy, a need for self-improvement and for self-imposed goals.

Leaders can use that innate drive to increase productivity, improve performance and build stronger teams.

13. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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Author: Angela Duckworth

Ratings 3/5

In Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Duckworth defines Grit as a combination of resilience, determination, purpose and passion. 

According to Angela Duckworth, anyone can acquire grit. Furthermore, people with grit are more successful than people who are talented but who don’t put in work.

 

 

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Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer encourages people to be their Best Self.

What is your Best Self?

Your Best Self is unique, positive, evolved and aligned with your truth.

When you are being your best self, you are being your most authentic and at your core.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer #books #bookreview #selfesteem #selfimprovement #leader #leadership #selfdevelopment #lifecoaching #lifecoach

How to connect with your Best Self?

Connecting with your Best Self takes time and requires patience. To get in touch with your Best Self:

  • Express gratitude frequently to get out of a negative space. Make a gratitude list of everything that puts you in a good mood or elevates you in any kind of way.
  • Embrace change. Everybody can change if they want to, they just have to apply the right motivations.
  • Identify your fears. Once you have identified your fears, put them to the test to see if your assumptions are true, if they are rational, if they help you succeed, or if they serve your best interests.
  • Recognize any signs of egotistical behavior. Once you have acknowledge your behavior, assess the origins of it and get your ego in check.

Assessing your Best Self

“SPHERES stands for Social life, Personal life, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment, and Spiritual life”.

The SPHERES tool, create by Mike Bayer, is a screening tool used to assess your Best Self in all areas of your life.

Your social life 

In the SPHERES tool, your social situation determines how well you project your Best Self to the world.

It then becomes imperative to analyze how you interact with people. You can also assess your ability to send clear messages, to listen to others, to embrace human emotions, to handle highly charged situations, to give and receive feedback.

Your personal life

Your personal life contains your self-image, your self-talk, the level of compassion and respect you have for yourself.

To create the personal life that you want, you will have to:

  • Rewire your brain to think positively by challenging your internal dialogue.
  • Get familiar with what you are constantly telling yourself.
  • Identify the messages you tell yourself when you are under pressure.
  • Log your thoughts and your self-talk, identify the common themes and tones.
  • Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of yourself and monitor your stress levels before they snowball. If you take care of yourself, you will definitely be able to take care of others.
  • Connect with your passions. Your passions will vary throughout your life. Your passions will allow you to express yourself, to strengthen your bond with your Best Self and vibrate at a higher frequency. To find your passions, explore new things, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

Your health

Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be present, keep a clear mind and achieve your Best Self.

Your education

Remaining in a “lifetime learning mode” will help you evolve into your Best Self and become more self-aware.

Once you find your passions, you will take pleasure in acquiring knowledge in that field.

Your relationships

Your relationships reflect who you are as a person.

Your Best Self will gauge who you want to be around, judge the health of a relationship and help you make the tough decisions.

In order to stay connected to your Best Self in all relationships, you must define your core values, exercise them and identify the people who live up to them.

Your employment

We spend most of our days at work.

So, when we are not able to fully be ourselves, our work life tends to become draining.

It somehow becomes important to nurture our Best Selves at work or create a career path that allows us to maximize our potential at work.

Review

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer shares tips and tools to help you achieve your Best Self. He helps you make a diagnostic of all the aspects of your life and provides practical solutions to your problems.

Furthermore, Best Self: Be You, Only Better is a workbook that teaches you how to fix what’s inside to fix outside. It is on point when it comes to assessing people’s behavior and can conveniently be revisited several time in your life.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better is ideal for leaders who want to improve their leadership skills and bring their best selves at work. It becomes clear that if you are your best self, you can create the best teams, take care of others and create the best organization.

With this workbook:

  • Get in touch with your Best Self.
  • Reach your highest potential.
  • Find more balance in your life.
  • Evolve, change, reinvent yourself and improve your life.
  • Learn to handle adversity and crisis.
  • Discover your truth and your purpose.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Many of society’s “rules” simply don’t apply to us as individuals, and if we spend all our energy on trying to be, do, say, and act like society wants us to, we are simply wasting time we could be spending on discovering and connecting with our Best Self.

Self-care is foundational to living your ideal life.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Mike Bayer

Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level By Mark Divine

Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level by Mark Divine provides methods and strategies to:

  • Develop an unbeatable mind.
  • Deal with harsh realities.
  • Increase your personal power.
  • Improve your thought pattern and find your positive focus.
  • Master and outperform yourself.
  • Train your team.

An Unbeatable Mind?

A person with an unbeatable mind is always original, cultivates excellence, seeks to magnify his or her potential and hates mediocrity.

In addition, an unbeatable mind follows universal laws and truths, is resilient, has great character and leadership qualities.

Furthermore, an unbeatable mind avoids group-thinking, procrastination and inaction.

According to Divine, it is imperative that you gain mental control, acquire mental toughness and develop leadership qualities.

Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level By Mark Divine #books #bookreview

How to find your positive focus and gain mental control?

Spending time alone and in silence, quieting your mind is discouraged in Western society.

We are rarely, if ever, encouraged to spend time in silence or get to know the depth of our character. - Mark Divine Click To Tweet

People are therefore prone to negative thinking. However, negativity destroys performance and brings down your energy.

In order to find a positive focus and gain mental control:

  1. Be aware of your negativity. To become self-ware, practice silence, define your passion, principles and purpose.
  2. Prohibit the negative self-talk.
  3. Focus on positive self-talk or affirmations. Add positive imagery and feelings to those affirmations.
  4. Find a mantra or an affirmation that will run in the background of your mind.

How to gain mental toughness?

Mental toughness is sustaining positive focus on one task, on the one thing that keeps you going.

Mental toughness helps you concentrate on your tasks for long periods of time without any distractions.

To develop mental toughness:

  1. Practice concentration on a daily basis.
  2. Understand that your overall success depends on every single choice that you make.
  3. Acknowledge that the small choices lead you towards excellence and shape your life the most.
  4. Educate yourself on how stress works, how you react to it and learn to eliminate it from your life.

Develop the disciplines of a Warrior

According to Mark Divine, Warriors are those who have achieved mental control and mental toughness.

They have learnt to discipline their mind so they can focus on the things that matter most, maintain positive focus when they need it most, avoid being distracted by negative emotions and negative beliefs.

Since the Warrior is committed to mastering himself or herself, he or she has mastered the following disciplines:

  1. Simplicity. They have learnt to detach themselves from material things that they don’t need.
  2. Dedication. They apply themselves daily but don’t take themselves too seriously.
  3. Authenticity. They are honest with themselves.
  4. Service. They build up their character.

Warriors with unbeatable minds:

  • Develop a strong plan and discipline.
  • Commit daily to the plan.
  • Are mindful of their decisions.
  • Stay in the present moment.
  • Maintain their energy and their positive focus.
  • Fulfill their purpose.
  • Make change happen.
  • Step up their game and take action.
  • Lead themselves and work with an unbeatable team.
  • Do what is best for their team.
  • Align their team with their vision and purpose.

Review

Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level By Mark Divine #books #bookreviewUnbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level by Mark Divine is a great guide for being and maintaining positivity no matter what.

Mark Divine gives sound and practical advice, using his 20 years of experience as a Navy Seal.

Mark Divine applies what he learnt with the NAVY to his regular life and work. He teaches you how to:

  • Discipline yourself and manage your emotions.
  • Reject mediocrity.
  • Build up your resilience.
  • get the life and career you want.

Unbeatable Mind: Forge Resiliency and Mental Toughness to Succeed at an Elite Level is useful for leaders, corporate teams and all those who want to condition their mind, body and soul.

I definitively loved the military aspect, principles and parallels in the book. However, because of his experience, some of his analogies are extreme and unrelatable.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Consistency is the omnipotent force behind change.

We are rarely, if ever, encouraged to spend time in silence or get to know the depth of our character.

Negativity destroys performance in the short term and precludes success and happiness in the long term.

Lack of meaning and purpose is a major cause of despair and despondency in the world.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Mark Divine

The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday

Not everyone knows how to handle obstacles. Most people tend to quit at the sight of adversity.

Overcoming obstacles and standing tall in adversity are a learned behavior. To turn your trials into triumphs, you must:

  • Change our bad perceptions of events.
  • Take directive actions.
  • Strengthen your will power.

The Obstacle is the Way _ The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday

Change your perception

Your perception has power over you and your decisions.

Building up your perception takes time and a lot of practice. You must discipline your emotions and objectively perceive your world for what it is and not for how it wants to be seen in order to :

  • Temper your passions and primal feelings,
  • Become objective and access the truth.
  • Stay cool under pressure.
  • Stay present and positive.

Your mind is a powerful tool. To actively change your perception:

  • Understand that you cannot change the obstacles.
  • Understand that you are in control of how you perceive the world and your obstacles.
  • Believe that you can choose how to respond to different situations. You can always oppose negativity or shake it off.
  • Trust that you are the one who decides of the outcome of the situation.
  • Assume that there are no good or bad events in life. By thinking so, you make it so.
  • Feel your emotions but get your emotions under control.
  • Tell yourself the truth and be authentic.
  • Use your personal resources wisely. For example, don’t waste your time trying to understand why a situation is the way it is. Those reasons don’t matter.
  • See obstacles as challenges or opportunities to observe, to grow, to improve yourself, to acquire new skills and to try new tactics.
  • Do not make assumptions.
  • Be present, be bold and take calculated risks.
Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness.-Ryan Holiday in The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph. Click To Tweet

Take directive action

After you have corrected your perception, it is time to learn how to act it out.

Each and every one of your actions must serve a purpose.

To act towards your goals with your new perception:

  • Remember that where you start is not where you will end.
  • Start somewhere and fight to create momentum in whatever you undertake.
  • Take the time to explore and to learn.
  • Avoid complaining and take “directive action”. If you have taken action, persevere and don’t quit no matter what.
  • Expect the execution of your plan will be difficult.
  • See obstacles as a way to test your character.
  • Turn negatives into positives.
  • Do not dwell or waste time dwelling on the hand that life has dealt you.
  • Take responsibility for your actions.
  • Don’t let distractions or failed actions stop you. Instead, fail forward, learn from your failures and don’t take them personally.
  • Manage your energy and always do your best with what you have.

Increase your will power

Your will power is something that can never be taken from you.

Maintaining it requires a deep understanding of life.

To increase your will power:

Review

The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is a motivational book that encourages people to withstand adversity and to take action despite adversity.

Ryan Holiday shares a philosophical approach, rooted in stoicism, that will help you confront obstacles and turn them upside down.

The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is destined for leaders and entrepreneurs who:

  • Face challenges on a daily basis,
  • Need to make pragmatic decisions and take calculated risks,
  • Want to take their career or business to the next level.

Holiday‘s entire book is based on classical references, historical figures and war leaders, who have distinguished themselves in life and who have adopted stoicism as a life strategy.

Finally, Ryan Holiday also incorporates reputable leaders and entrepreneurs as examples of resilience and will power.

If you want to stay motivated and push through your challenges, this book is for you.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness. If we are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, we only add to our troubles.

Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we’ll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate.

Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power. But every ounce of energy directed at things we can’t actually influence is wasted—self-indulgent and self-destructive. So much power—ours, and other people’s—is frittered away in this manner.

If you mean it when you say you’re at the end of your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity to experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set.

Leadership requires determination and energy. And certain situations, at times, call on leaders to marshal that determined energy simply to endure.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Ryan Holiday

 

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Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges By Amy Cuddy

Presence is an indicator of success and an “incredible powerful state”.

Presence is hard to define and is subjective.

However, it can be understood with verbal and non verbal cues.

It can be predicted by your “confidence, comfort level, and passionate enthusiasm”.

What is Presence?

Presence, as I mean it throughout these pages, is the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential. Click To Tweet

With presence, you can be yourself, be honest with yourself, be in the moment, connect with others, represent yourself well, and reveal the abilities you truly have.

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges By Amy Cuddy

What are the benefits of achieving Presence?

Presence allows you to listen, to hear other people out and to be heard in return.

Presence establishes trust and creates influence.

Presence aligns your beliefs with yourself.

Where does Presence come from?

It comes from believing your own stories and from being authentic.

When we don’t believe in our own stories, we will have a hard time convincing others, we will come off as inauthentic and consequently lose confidence in ourselves.

To identify your boldest and most authentic self:

  • Write down who you think you are.
  • Speak the truth to yourself.
  • Believe in your truth.
  • Believe that your truth will be conveyed properly.

What obstructs Presence?

There are a few conditions that can destroy your Presence:

  1. Impostorism

Impostorism makes you question your abilities and makes you worry about what other people think about you.

This condition is not unique to highly achieving women and is independent from the number of achievements received in life.

  1. Stereotypes

Not conforming to stereotypes or to social expectations make achieving Presence difficult.

  1. Powerlessness

Powerlessness makes you self-conscious, perturbs your self-image, and blocks your authenticity and your abilities.

How to acquire Presence?

Personal power is power to—the ability to control our own states and behaviors. Amy Cuddy in Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges Click To Tweet

You gain Presence by developing personal power.

Personal power is essential, removes fear, quiets inhibitions, protects you against your negative emotions, allows you to forgive easier and fluctuates in time.

In addition, your personal power makes you fearless, gives your more freedom, and makes you less susceptible to external pressures.

However, it can be acquired using different tactics. For example, you can use breathing techniques and power poses to trigger personal power.

When we have personal power, we tend to remain calm, to have more control and to expand ourselves in order to take place.

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges By Amy Cuddy

Review

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy revolves mainly about managing your nonverbal cues to induce Presence, identifying your best authentic self, nurturing your boldest self, and creating personal power.

In Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy:

  • Aims to help people with imposter syndrome, who are in difficult challenges, who feel powerless and distracted.
  • Gives advice on how to handle conflict, how to stay optimistic, to act confident, even when you don’t feel confident, until you become confident.
  • Wants people to gain more control over their lives.
  • Uses stories from people around the world who have seen her TED Talk to inspire and convey her message.

I have to say, I enjoyed the topic of personal power the most. Often, we see leaders who are afraid of going against the grain, try to fit in and to please their team, only to find out that it’s an impossible task.

Some lead using their social power, leveraging salary for work but lack influence and personal power.

Needless to say, their success will depend highly on how they carry themselves, on their verbal and non verbal cues.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Presence stems from believing in and trusting yourself—your real, honest feelings, values, and abilities.

Presence, as I mean it throughout these pages, is the state of being attuned to and able to comfortably express our true thoughts, feelings, values, and potential.

A truly confident person does not require arrogance, which is nothing more than a smoke screen for insecurity. A confident person—knowing and believing in her identity—carries tools, not weapons. A confident person does not need to one-up anyone else. A confident person can be present to others, hear their perspectives, and integrate those views in ways that create value for everyone.

Power makes us approach. Powerlessness makes us avoid.

The feeling that arises from personal power is not the desire to have control; it’s the effortless feeling of being in control—lucid, calm, and not dependent on the behavior of others.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Amy Cuddy

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott

Being a boss is a full-time job and is not as easy as it seems.

The truth is, being the boss can be an emotional rollercoaster.

It requires maturity, focus and emotional discipline, especially when dealing with people.

That is why Kim Scott has established a few principles that can help bosses create a culture of candor, build stable relationships and evolve into great bosses.

According to Kim Scott, managers, leaders or bosses:

  1. Achieve results.
  2. Deal with people.
  3. Express what they think.
  4. Build and guide cohesive teams.
  5. Accept and give fair and candid feedback.

As you can see, Kim Scott makes no distinction between a boss, a leader and a manager because eventually, they have to assume different roles and master different skills at different moments.

They all have to find out a way to get what they want by saying what they mean.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

Radical Candor_ Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott (2)

Why and how to build relationships?

The relationships you have with your team determine your level of success, company culture, and performance.

To build great relationships that will help your business:

  • Take care of yourself first.
  • Stay centered and create a healthy work life balance.
  • Find out what works best for you and apply it.
  • Care personally about people.
  • Respect boundaries and people physical space. It is detrimental to find a balance between creating personal yet professional bonds.
  • Spend time alone with your team members.
  • Stay true to your values and share them if possible.
  • Be transparent and aware of your emotions.
  • Discipline your reactions. Learn to respond and not react.

Why and how to build a great team?

People’s motivations are personal.

Every team member can be exceptional, they just have to find the right fit and the right motivations.

Needless to say, work life is better when your team loves what they do.

To build a great team:

  • Get to know the people on your team. Focus more on them than on results.
  • Understand people’s strength and weaknesses, identify how they tick and how their job fits into their life plan.
  • Avoid micromanaging or ignoring your team members.
  • Allocate as much time to those who are struggling as the top performers.
  • Listen to your team members, learn to incorporate their thinking into yours, and give them the opportunity to complain, share ideas, and raise issues. This way, you will create a culture of innovation.

Why and how to accept/give feedback?

Feedback is an uncomfortable process. To accept and give proper feedback:

  • Earn your team’s trust.
  • Listen more than you speak.
  • Understand what motivates your team and help them avoid burnout or boredom.
  • Understand your audience and adapt to it.
  • See feedback as an act of guidance and don’t make it personal.
  • Solicit feedback especially in private conversations and outside of meetings.
  • Voice your own disagreements. Speak up when things are not going well.
  • Take responsibility fo your actions and admit when you have made a mistake
  • Discern the truth from a lie when it comes to feedback.
  • Be humble in your delivery and state that you want to help.

Why and how to achieve results?

Every boss wants results. To achieve results:

  • Have frequent one on one conversation with your team and with a positive mindset. Have a one on one conversation with your team members to get to know them, to solve problems effectively and to help you understand what is working and what is not.
  • Create key metrics to measure progress. Write down any possible updates.
  • Create meetings where you can debate, encourage new ideas and make big decisions.
  • Test out the feasibility of the ideas you have received.

Review

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott is a step by step guide on how to be a candid boss.

It is about building candid relationships with the people you work with and about using your humanity as a leadership tool.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott essentially takes the pressure off leaders.

The principles shared expose candor as a management tool, put bosses at ease and help them understand that there is more to being a boss than giving orders.

In addition, the principles shared remove fear, self-doubt and anxiety, then create an understanding regarding the role of a boss.

Furthermore, Kim Scott uses her own experiences at Google and Adsense to drive the conversation and to illustrate her ideas about radical candor.

She provides amazing tools and techniques to implement in order to be a great boss and to have a healthy relationship with your direct reports.

Her tools and techniques are detailed and are not exclusive to bosses.

Finally, the best thing about this book is that you can tell that Kim Scott cares about the career advancement and the emotional health of every boss.

Through radical candor, she demonstrates how to improve all aspects of your work life.

You don’t have to implement every tool or technique right away.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

In order to build a great team, you need to understand how each person’s job fits into their life goals

The way you treat people determines whether you’ll get their best effort, a perfunctory effort, or an effort to sabotage you.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Kim Scott

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone is a guide to set goals, reach and retain success in any area of your life.

The 10X Rule will help you to define your version of success and to repetitively create extraordinary levels of success.

What is the 10X Rule?

The 10X Rule is achieving success by putting in 10 times the effort and the action that the average person would.

The 10X Rule means acting towards your goals with 10 times the right mindset.

Why is the 10X Rule vital?

Estimating the  right amount of effort and time to invest in your goals will help you reach your target without moving the finish line.

Furthermore, multiplying your effort by 10 will allow you to predict issues and to be prepared.

By using the 10X Rule, you will be able to:

  • Stick to your guns and not be distracted.
  • Define your own version of success.
  • Make a plan for your life.
  • Filter out goals that have been imposed on you.
  • Set your own limits and aim for the impossible.
  • Set a positive and sustainable mindset.
  • Implement your own system of belief.
  • Properly estimate your abilities.
  • Tap into your full potential.
  • Work without it feeling like work.

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone

How to achieve higher levels of success?

Success is having a purposeful life and its realization is your responsibility.

In addition, success is important for your personal growth, for your sense of self and for your well-being.

Success depends on your stage in life and shouldn’t be minimized.

Success is not a popularity contest. - Grant Cardone, in The 10X Rule Click To Tweet

To achieve higher levels of success:

1. Do not play the victim or make excuses

It is detrimental to take responsibility for your actions, to find solutions, take action and gain more control of your life.

2. Relinquish control

In life and at work, you will not control everything. However, you can control how you respond to everything.

3. Be the solution

Understand that you can be the solution and the problem to your situation, at the same time.

4. Do not try to be average

Being average and facing average difficulties will not lead you to success.

People who operate on the average level tend to try to overestimate results, underestimate difficulties, steal success from those who operate at the 10X level.

5. Do not rest on your laurels

Resting on your laurels is the surest way to get overpowered and to lose sight of your goals.

6. Set your goals

Goal-setting plays an important part in your success.

  • Set your goals high enough so you do not fail, so you resist adversity and maintain your enthusiasm.
  • Speak your goals into reality on a daily basis.
  • Align your goals with your purpose.
  • Clearly define your goals.
  • Verify that your goals are equal to your potential.
  • Understand that your goals are personal.

7. Avoid competing with others

When you compete with others, you spend more time watching what someone else is doing rather than creating and setting the pace.

It becomes critical to find your niche, dominate your field and do what others are not willing to do.

8. Be mindful of the company you keep

The people you associate with determine your level of success.

Before joining a group, analyze the pros and the cons of belonging to this group.

9. Get obsessed over success

Obsession is not all negative. Obsession can be converted into action and can be conveyed.

Being obsessed will push you to make things work.

Get obsessed over success.

Get obsessed over every possibilities and every action that will take you towards your goals.

10. Go all in

Going all in means fully committing to your goals and possibly over-delivering.

No matter what, understand that:

  • It is OK put all your eggs in one basket and to over-commit.
  • You can and will fail as many times as you will and can succeed.

11. Embrace fear

Take fear as a sign to keep doing what you actually fear and to keep applying the 10X rule because:

  • Fear means that you are growing.
  • Fear means you are doing something uncomfortable.
  • Your moment is now. There isn’t a good time to take action.

12. Value your time

Time is of the essence. To achieve success: manage your time effectively, maximize your time, set your priorities, create a healthy work-life balance.

13. Do not be afraid of criticism

Criticism means that you are on your way to success when you start taking action.

The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity. - Grant Cardone, in The 10X Rule Click To Tweet

Review

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone is an inspirational and motivational book, written for leaders, entrepreneurs and anyone who wishes to be successful.

It forces you to reevaluate your goals, your purpose and your definition of success.

It encourages you to take risks, “act, produce and create in massive quantities regardless of the situation or circumstances.”

It demonstrates how to be and stay the leader in any field. The 10X Rule focuses on your character, your mindset and your goal-setting skills.

Most of the time, we struggle to reach our goals and don’t understand why. But, Grant Cardone makes it very clear that:

  • You must be self-aware and self-assured.
  • You are the only one that stands  in front of your goals.
  • Success depends integrally on the effort, time and energy that you put in.
  • Most of what society claims to be wrong is an inherent part of success.

To Grant Cardone  success is a mindset and is determined by your purpose.

The 10X Rule is not a get rich quick trick. Remember:

  • All goals are difficult to achieve.
  • You will always face some type of adversity.
  • You must assess your abilities and your resources.
  • Your goals must be extraordinary, appropriate and require motivation.
  • Success must be constantly maintained.
  • You current state doesn’t matter.
  • The way you are perceived doesn’t matter.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

When you have underestimated the time, energy, and effort necessary to do something, you will have “quit” in your mind, voice, posture, face, and presentation. You won’t develop the persistence necessary to get your mission accomplished.

Never take the position that things just happen to you; rather, they happen because of something you did or did not do.

Until a person is done being a victim, he or she is unable to create solutions and success. That person only has problems.

The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity.

If you are not creating new problems for yourself, then you aren’t taking enough action.

Success is not a popularity contest.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Grant Cardone

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith serves as a roadmap  to help you get where you want to go in life and at work.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith helps people:

  • Get into leadership position.
  • Put your vision into action.
  • Identify and change bad habits.
  • Succeed and reach higher heights of success.
  • Understand that the same skills that got you previous success and won’t get you to the next level.

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Why is it so hard to stop a bad habit?

It is not easy for successful people to change their behavior because their past successes have acted as positive reinforcement and have solidified some of your behaviors.

Furthermore, stopping a bad behavior isn’t as rewarded as you would think but it detrimental to success.

Indeed, we don’t get as much credit for stopping something as much as starting something.

Successful people either assume that:

  • They are right and everybody else is wrong.
  • People who want them to change are confused.
  • What you think about them doesn’t matter to them.
  • Their behavior is not hindering their success.
  • Changing their behavior is not worth it.

To get people to change their behavior, it is important to have them identify what they value most and somewhat “threaten” that value.

21 Habits That Got You Here But Won’t Get You There

Some people are successful in spite of their behavior.

  • Understand that you can be successful in spite of your flaws.
  • Recognize our bad behavior.
  • Examine your behaviors to see what feelings are attached to them.
  • Avoid attacking value to the bad behavior that you associate with success.
  • Find a reason to change, an example that will act as a positive reinforcement.

Marshall Goldsmith exhibits 21 behaviors that alienate people, that you need to stop and that are simple to correct.

Habit #1. Winning too much

In the case, the urge to win is strong and is triggered in any situation, whether it matters or not.

However, the need to win can limit your success because it can destroy relationships.

Habit #2. Adding too much value

Another habit of smart people is always feeling the need to add value to every discussion, to run the show.

They need to let everybody know that they already know or that they know a better way.

The need to add value is simple a variation of the need to win.

Habit #3. Passing judgment

Passing judgement pushes people away because people do not like to be rated or critiqued.

Imposing your standards on people, approving or disapproving of people’s decision will make you seem unwelcoming and disagreeable.

Habit #4. Making destructive comments

Some people make destructive comments without thinking: they put people down, they hurt them or assert themselves as their superiors.

This habit of making hurtful and sarcastic remarks quickly erodes teamwork and cooperation.

It can stem from a habit of always being candid or from a need to sound sharp and witty.

Habit #5. Starting with “No”, “But” or “However”

Starting with “No”, “But” or “However” says that whatever the other person is saying is wrong and what you are saying is right.

The use of these negative qualifiers comes from a need to win and defend your position.

Habit #6. Telling the world how smart we are

The need to demonstrate how smart you are is a variation of the need to win, to gain people’s admiration and to communicate that you are two steps ahead of everyone else.

Habit #7. Speaking when angry

Anger can be a valuable management tool but it does not guarantee how people will react to your emotional outbursts.

However, anger is not a leadership tool. Using anger as a tool says that you are out of control and that you cannot lead. It stifles your ability to change and brands you as being emotionally volatile.

Habit #8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”

Everybody avoids negative people in the workplace.

Negative people find problems to every one of your solutions.

They are not helpful. They don’t add value but they want to demonstrate that their knowledge is superior to everybody else’s.

Habit #9. Withholding information

Withholding information is part of corporate culture and is used to gain power.

People who withhold information answer questions with a question, tend to be passive aggressive and promote mistrust.

It becomes important to improve your communications skills, to make sharing information a priority, and to inform people what you are up to.

Habit #10. Failing to give proper recognition

People who are unable to praise and reward, who don’t recognize the contribution of others technically withhold information.

People who are not recognized feel unsuccessful, unappreciated, forgotten and ignored.

Habit #11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve

The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.

People who claim credit withhold praise and congratulations, overlook the right people, deprive them from recognition.

People who claim credit are thieves and need to win. Whether you are the perpetrator or the victim of credit hogging:

  • Write down every time you congratulate yourself per day.
  • Review your list and discern who deserves credit.

Habit #12. Making excuses

Making excuses is not a viable leadership strategy and stops self-development.

Excuses are different from explanation. However, most people use excuses to explain their failures.

Habit #13. Clinging to the past

The past explains a lot of our behavior.

Most people live in the past because they can blame others for things that happened to them.

However, clinging to the past is unhealthy. The past cannot be changed, rewritten or excuses. It can only be accepted.

Habit #14. Playing favorites

Some leaders unknowingly play favorites.

They encourage people who serve them, praise them and admire them unconditionally.

Playing favorites is dangerous because you select the wrong people, you favor people who don’t necessarily like you, you fail to recognize the people who deserve it.

Habit #15. Refusing to express regret

People who refuse to express regret are unable to forgive, to apologize, to admit their wrongs, to cede power or control.

Refusing to apologize can create a toxic workplace. However, apologizing is powerful tool.

Habit #16. Not listening

Lack of attention is one of the most common bad habits in the workplace.

Not listening to someone demonstrates that you are impatient, don’t care about what they are saying, that they are wasting your time, that you don’t understand what they are saying.

Habit #17. Failing to express gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a powerful and essential tool to success.

Habit #18. Punishing the messenger

Punishing the messenger tend to attack those who blow the whistle and who bring bad news to us.

Habit #19. Passing the buck

The need to blame everyone but ourselves.

Passing the buck means finding a scapegoat, blaming others for our mistakes.

Leaders who pass the buck are difficult to follow because they don’t take responsibility for their actions.

Habit #20. An excessive need to be “me”

People who feel the need to be themselves hold on to behaviors they think intrinsically define them.

They refuse to change because they see it as being inauthentic.

The truth is they have a limited definition of themselves.

Habit #21. Goal obsession

Goal obsession can drive to success but it can also drive to failure.

Goal obsession or obsessing over the wrong goals become negative when you force yourself to achieve your goals in spite of the bigger picture, of your manners and your character.

How To Overcome These 21 Habits?

To dispel these habits, it is important to learn what type of information is appropriate to share, when and how to convey information, who to ask for information, how to discern useful information.

To overcome these 21 habits:

  1. Ask for feedback. Change does not happen with negative feedback but with honest and helpful feedback.
  2. Get feedback on your own from your surroundings and from how people react to you.
  3. Learn to apologize for your bad behavior to the people who matter most to you. By apologizing, you mend broken relationships and overcome negative emotions.
  4. Demonstrate changed behavior or your intention to change your behavior.
  5. Listen more than you speak and listen with respect.
  6. Express gratitude.
  7. Follow up on your progress by asking your coworkers.
  8. Discuss the behavior you are changing to one person and ask them for suggestions in the future.

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Review

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is a very insightful book. It serves as a workplace guide of the things not to do.

It is written for leaders and for people who want to move up in life and at work.

According to Marshall Goldsmith, everybody has a at least six to eight habits that need to be stopped. From the look of it, we are all guilty of these habits.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is definitely a good place to start when you are looking to improve, when you are looking to understand the people and the different dynamics in the workplace.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

We have to stop couching all our behavior in terms of positive or negative. Not all behavior is good or bad. Some of it is simply neutral. Neither good nor bad.

the higher you go, the more your problems are behavioral.

As we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.

If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.

Gratitude is a skill that we can never display too often. And yet for some reason, we are cheap and chary with gratitude—as if it were rare Bordeaux wine that we can serve only on special occasions. Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is as abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Marshall Goldsmith

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

All day, we are bombarded with things that we are supposed to care about. In the end, we are made to think that we should care about those things.

Therefore, we constantly feel the need to look for better in order to impress, to feel insecure, to fake emotions, to compare ourselves with others and to live a “good” life.

Truthfully, to be successful, to live a good life and to overcome those feelings, it is detrimental to confront painful emotions, to care less about pain and to care more about what is important.

The Meaning To Not Giving A F**k

Caring too much about futile things is a sign that you don’t have anything better going on in your life. However, not caring is liberating. By caring less, Mark Manson means:

  • Stop trying so hard and stop investing too much energy in things.
  • Pursue failures and not  success, pain and not pleasure. Failures eventually lead to success and confronting negativity leads to growth.
  • Embrace negative emotions and use your pain as a tool.
  • Take action even though your circumstances and emotions are overwhelming.
  • Discern the situations and the people who matter.
  • Understand that life is short and there is no time to waste on futility.
  • Be authentic and “comfortable with being different”.
  • Choose something to care about that matters more than adversity.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

How To Not Giving A F**k?

There are a few principles to practice in order to care less:

  1. Understand that pain is inevitable, incessant yet it is necessary. It triggers change and helps us avoid making the same mistakes.
  2. Understand that you cannot control everything and that life will always throw you curve balls. Everything in life requires sacrifice.
  3. Understand that you’ll be fine no matter what.
  4. Don’t base your life and reactions on your emotions.
  5. Don’t repress your emotions. Instead, use your negative emotions to motivate you and to do better.
  6. Take action in order to create positive emotions.
  7. Accept yourself. Get comfortable with yourself and with failure. It doesn’t make sense to avoid failure. Failure is painful but it boosts change and welcomes success.
  8. Control your thoughts.
  9. Change your values to build your character.
  10. We all care about something and it’s impossible not to. You must just figure out what level of pain you are willing to sustain.
  11. Acknowledge that if some people take you seriously and consider you as a change agent, others will make fun at you and see you as an embarrassment.
  12. Take responsibility for your problems and for your experiences.
  13. Acknowledge your ignorance or lack of knowledge. Invest in your personal growth nad challenge your beliefs.
  14. Don’t avoid rejection. Learn to handle rejection and to say no in return.
  15. Be conscious of your own death. Don’t be afraid of your own death. Let the possibility of death transform you and give your life meaning.

Review

To be frank, I heard a lot about The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k By Mark Manson. Not only was I intrigued by the title but by the press around this book.

As the year goes by, we see the emergence of a lot of books with a colorful language. The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k By Mark Manson is a motivational book that encourages transformation. It promotes the need to be honest with yourself, to determine your limitations, your strengths and weaknesses.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k is a funny book with far-fetched metaphors. Yet, it is honest about itself. It:

  • Warns us to be selective on the things that we care about.
  • Promotes the concept of not caring about what people think, of not letting people or our emotions overwhelm you.
  • Denounces life’s false expectations and disillusion.
  • Demonstrates how life is imperfect.
  • Stops you from seeking for outside validation, searching for bigger and better, living in the superlatives, from trying to impress, from maintaining appearances, feeling the need to prove ourselves to society and from promoting a fake life on social media.

Besides the use of colorful language, it is very similar to the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg Mckeown.

It is written as motivation for millennials, for overthinkers, for chronic worriers and for the overly emotional for whom not caring would be liberating.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And,
paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive
experience.

This book will help you think a little bit more clearly about what you’re choosing to find important in life and what you’re choosing to find unimportant.

We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Mark Manson