Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor by Bennis, Goleman, O’Toole and Biederman (part 3)

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor is a collection of three essays written by BennisGolemanO’Toole and Biederman.

The new transparency by Warren Bennis

The new transparency, by Warren Bennis, is the third and last essay of Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor. This essay defines digital transparency, focuses on the effects of the “digital revolution” and how it has made transparency quasi inevitable in modern day organizations.

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor by Bennis, Goleman, O’Toole and Biederman (Part 3) #book #books #bookreviews #transparency #candor #companyculture https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

What is the upside of the new transparency?

Transparency notoriously drives success, effectiveness and trust between members of an organization.

The emergence of internet has been able to fill the cultural need for transparency, to break down old rules and traditions, to erase borders and social status barriers.

In particular, the rise of blogs has transformed the mainstream media. Blogs shape the public opinion. Moreover, mainstream media now rely upon them to exchange and to create loyalty amongst their viewers.

Furthermore, the rise of blogs has transformed politics (for the better?).

Indeed, blogs have increased transparency over the years: in many countries, the government and politicians can no longer hold secrets, maintain exclusive power and absolute control over citizens.

Blogs have become a political and diplomatic tool to fight corruption and power abuse. They were able to:

  • Expose insiders “secrets to outsiders” in corporations: most bloggers whistleblow freely, safely and anonymously.
  • Change the societal game. Protests happen in the streets as well in the cyberspace.
  • Evenly distribute information and knowledge. Seeing that knowledge is power, blogs have created a new power that have made leaders “lose their monopoly on leadership”. Blogs have given a digital platform for people from  different nationalities, social categories and spheres of influence to express their opinions.

What is the downside of the new transparency?

First of all, the digital transparency incites a lack of privacy. Most individuals’ confidential information (credit card number, personal records,…) transits openly on internet, which makes them vulnerable to hacking and allows misuse of information and illegal tracking of their information.

Also, the “digital realm is wild and minimally policed”. Some users take advantage of the anonymity of internet to dishonestly compete, to openly attack an institution, organization or another individual under false pretenses.

Digital transparency has devalued, through the mainstream media, “authentic expertise by treating ordinary viewers and readers as the equals of those with genuine insight and experience” to enhance their viewers’ loyalty.

Unfortunately, it also impedes their viewers from comprehending or appropriately analyzing complex facts and events.

Warren Bennis denotes that blogs, acquiring greater influence and outreach than news paper, will substitute the latter if the content “commit to high standards of accuracy, fairness, and conduct”.

On the internet, where there are no secrets, where information persists for several lifetimes and where truth is relative, users are able to decide the perimeters of transparency, to fabricate the truth and to create the persona they want.

However, users are unable to vet and verify the actual truth.

To read the review on the first essay Creating a culture of candor by Warren BennisDaniel Goleman, and Patricia Ward Biedermanclick here.

To read the review on the second essay Speaking truth to power by James O’Tooleclick here.

Review

SearchTransparency.jpg.jpegThe new transparency by Warren Bennis is a proper conclusion to the book Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor that delivers impartial views on the internet and the blogosphere.

While reading his book, several contemporaneous examples came to mind such as the Black Lives Matter Movement that started in summer 2013, in the United States and has since then spread itself to different countries, to different nationalities and cultures.

Social Media and blogs have definitely given the Movement the tools that it needed to speak up about police brutality on African-Americans, to show proof of police misconduct, to syndicate and organize itself and finally, to resist oppression.

One example of the misuse of the internet platform is cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying is the bullying of an individual over the internet, through blogs or social media. Many victims of cyberbullying have spoken publicly over this issue but due to the anonymity and the lack of regulation of the internet, the government has not yet found a way to penalize the abusers.

Favorite quote(s)

Transparency would not be a problem in a world in which everyone is decent and fair-minded.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Warren Bennis

Purchase

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor by Bennis, Goleman, O’Toole and Biederman (Part 2)

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor is a collection of three essays written by BennisGolemanO’Toole and Biederman. To read the review on the first essay Creating a culture of candor by Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, and Patricia Ward Biederman, click here.

Speaking truth to power by James O’Toole

Speaking truth to power, by James O’Toole, is the second essay from Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor.

Speaking truth to power has been a long-standing issue throughout History. It is a very common and complex matter that has direct repercussions on an individual’s life, career and health.

In this essay, in order to illustrate the concerns raised by a lack of transparency, many examples have been extracted from literature, from 2500 years of History and from James O’Toole‘s personal experience during his research in corporations.

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor by Bennis, Goleman, O’Toole and Biederman (Part 2) #book #books #bookreviews #transparency #candor #companyculture https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

Why speak truth to power?

Speaking truth to power creates a healthy and successful company culture in any given organization.

What makes speaking truth to power so convoluted?

images-1-jpg.jpeg

Speaking truth to power can be perceived as disloyalty, dissidence, insubordination or non-conformism because it challenges old assumptions, systems that are already in place, defies group-thinking and questions the authority, decisions and ego of the person in power.

 

Speaking the truth also implies having to make the person in power admit their mistake.

James O’Toole blames this impugning perception on the stubbornness, the stupidity and the hubris (arrogance of power) of leaders who reject good advice and are incapable of hearing the truth.

That is why, leaders must openly listen to their employees, understand their working conditions, rethink old assumptions and avoid group-thinking at all cost.

Speaking truth to power does not go without risks: most employees are not willing to report any misconduct or unethical behavior by fear of retaliation, by fear of being reprimanded, by belief that no action will be taken by management or by Human Resources (HR).

How to create transparency and trust within an organization?

According to James O’Toole, corporations should hire at leisure a “corporate fool”, term quoted by Verne Morland, an executive at NCR in the 1980s.

A “corporate fool” is a modern day jester that is capable and licensed to speak truth to power and create controversy.

The role of the “corporate fool” can be associated to the role of women in modern day organizations.

Indeed, women are unafraid to challenge the system and to speak truth to power in corporations as they have only recently been evolving in the male-dominating corporations and as a result have not learnt any ethical misbehavior. Not to mention, women have throughout History stood up courageously to authority at the peril of their lives.

The 7 characteristics of a transparent leader

Below are the characteristics that a leader must abide by to enforce transparency within their organization:

  1. Leaders must consistently tell the truth to their followers.
  2. Leaders must be comfortable with the truth.
  3. Leaders must practice integrity.
  4. Leaders must demonstrate appropriate respect towards their followers by sharing relevant information and actually including them in the flow of information.
  5. Leaders must gather the necessary information before making any type of decision.
  6. Leaders must value openness, empower those who tell the truth and must not reward those who do otherwise.
  7. Leaders at the top should not reward other leaders for their ability to compete nor congratulate leader’s misconduct.

Moreover, followers must be willing to put themselves on the line to be able to correct their bosses. “In sum, before speaking truth to power can be considered virtuous, the act must meet several criteria:

  • It must be truthful.
  • It must do no harm to innocents.
  • It must not be self-interested (the benefits must go to others, or to the organization).
  • It must be the product of moral reflection.
  • It must come from a messenger who is willing to pay the price.
  • It must have at least a chance of bringing about positive change (there is no virtue in tilting at windmills).
  • It must not be done out of spite or anger.”

Throughout History, organizations have punished those that speak truth to power, have challenged their loyalty, have put their sanity to the test, have labelled them as crazy or angry people.

So why blow the whistle?

Whistleblowers are loyal to their organization and not assumably to their leaders. When the leaders betray the values and the integrity of the organization, whistleblowers come forth and are ready to denounce publicly any signs of foul-play.

Is there an appropriate time for whistleblowing or for speaking truth to power?

The time is right when one is mature enough to objectively analyze the situation at hand and is virtuous enough to be able to temper his or her anger.

To read the review on the first essay Creating a culture of candor by Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, and Patricia Ward Biederman, click here.

Review

images-31.jpg.jpeg

Speaking truth to power is perfect for leaders who are looking to understand what transparency is all about and are starting to implement it in their organization.

In Speaking truth to power, James O’Toole makes us realize how far this issue goes back, how much human nature is to blame for a lack of transparency and why a step has not been taken to generally encourage transparency, even though success, effectiveness and trust should be incentives for corporations.

In reality, speaking from personal experience, most candid, virtuous and conscientious people do not climb the career ladder in corporations and sojourn at the bottom until they learn to moderate their opinion.

Otherwise, they are perceived by team members and leaders as being weak, insubordinate, insolent and disloyal.

I’ve seen many straightforward people being exemplary managed out of corporations while leaders kept asking their employees to be transparent and while those who did the leader’s dirty deed were promoted.

As a result, it created a toxic and unsafe environment where no one would speak up (not even HR) to the wrongdoings of management.

If candid people are not able to sugarcoat their opinion, they end up whistleblowing or leaving the organization. And so, I did.

Favorite quote(s)

In a recent scientific survey of a cross-section of American workers, over two-thirds report having personally witnessed unethical behavior on the job, but only about a third of those say they reported what they observed to their supervisors. The reasons given for their reticence range from fear of retaliation to the belief that management would not act on the information appropriately.

In essence, trust is hard to earn, easy to lose, and, once lost, nearly impossible to regain.

Ratings 4/5

Author

James O’Toole

Purchase

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor by Bennis, Goleman, O’Toole and Biederman (Part 1)

Creating a culture of candor, by Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman and Patricia Ward Biederman, is the first essay from Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor. It reveals the effects of transparency and lack thereof in organizations…

What is Transparency?

Transparency is defined as “the degree to which information flows freely within an organization, among managers and employees, and outward to stakeholders.”

This essay also describes ways to implement a culture of candor and stresses the fact that the rise of digital technologies made it almost impossible for organizations to keep secrets or remain opaque.

Transparency is a choice to make that brings success, additional clarity and instills trust. However, most companies don’t chose candor and openness: true transparency is hard, as much as true honesty is.

Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor by Bennis, Goleman, O’Toole and Biederman (Part 1) #book #books #bookreviews #transparency #candor #companyculture https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

Leaders find it hard to be transparent:

  • In today’s world, the race to become number 1 brings leaders to overlook any wrongdoings or any existing flaws.
  • Another reason is that leaders need to make an immediate decision and look decisive. Therefore, leaders tend to dismiss information.
  • Knowledge is power and by virtue of human nature, most people, leaders included, enjoy hoarding information to feel powerful and superior.

Followers find it hard to be transparent:

  • Followers do not directly transfer raw internal information to the leader(s). The raw information is limitedly conveyed, colored and sugar-coated.
  • Followers think of leaders as demigods: they admire them and praise them. This attitude prevents followers from criticizing their leaders or speaking the awkward truth to them.

The need for whistleblowers

When there is no transparency, whistleblowers, loyal or not, patriotic or not, reveal the truth at the peril of their life because they believe that the organization’s secrets is too unscrupulous to keep and that the organization’s values no longer align with theirs.

Whistleblowers put their lives at risk, are often shunned, demoted for speaking the truth. With the development of internet, secrecy is almost impossible and whistleblowers are no longer at risk and can reveal secrets anonymously.

Blogs have become an unstoppable force, capable of damaging big and perennial corporations, institutions and individuals, of economically boycotting companies. Thankfully, blogs have protected and enabled whistleblowers.

How to create a culture of candor?

In order to implement a culture if candor, followers, on one hand, must feel free to speak up and to speak openly. On the other hand, leaders must value the truth, welcome unpleasant information and reward such openness.

  • Leaders must combat transparency by demanding feedback from their team and listening to the feedback.
  • Leaders must not to be overconfident about their own leadership capabilities.
  • Leaders must treat the follower’s ideas with importance and take counsel from the follower. Leaders must seek information at all level of chain.
  • Leaders should be allowed to be prudent and to take their time in order to make a decision.
  • Internal information flow must be treated as importantly as the information coming in and out of the organization.
  • Transparency should be mechanized by installing whistleblower software (EthicsPoint and Global Compliance Services for example) to enable employees to report anonymously any wrongdoings and to alert to any problems.
  • Whistleblowers should not be ostracized for speaking up.

The dangers of group-think

Bennis, Goleman and Biederman finally compare organizations secrets to the dark secrets kept by family members. In families as in organizations, the lack of transparency introduces toxic secrets that are unfortunately well kept.

These secrets tightly bond employees, which make it hard for a member to come forth by fear of being expelled, punished, by fear of threatening or destroying an entire organization.

Furthermore, these employees take pride in belonging to such a tight-knit organization, leading to feelings of superiority and to group-thinking.

Group-thinking is defined as the “subsequent congressional investigation made an explicit diagnosis of groupthink—a process in which unfounded assumptions drive a plan of action and contradictory information is suppressed, along with any doubts about the assumptions themselves”. Although group thinking brings in cohesiveness, it allows only one pattern of thinking and generally leads to one unique bad decision.

Review

images-31.jpg.jpegCreating a culture of candor, by Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman and Patricia Ward Biederman is a very interesting and well written essay. It provides us with pertinent examples, gives rise to contemporaneous observations and administers great advice for effectively creating a culture of candor.

While I was reading this essay, the Volkswagen scandal kept coming to mind in 2015 where the performance results of 11 millions cars worldwide where altered to admit a low carbon-dioxide emission levels. In the race to success, Volkswagen has not been candid with the public or to the Environmental Protection Agency.

This essay still highlights many current issues where numerous ethical issues present in modern corporations. It was surprising to see, even with the rise of digital technologies, how many corporations, organizations and institutions remain opaque.

Favorite quote(s)

In idea-driven organizations—and which are not these days?—genuine, collegial Leaders collaboration leads to better morale, a greater likelihood of creativity, and greater candor and transparency.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Warren Bennis

Patricia Ward Biederman

Daniel Goleman

Purchase

 

Journey To Leadership is now hosting networking events…

Come and join us!

Purchase your tickets for all our events on Eventbrite and Meetup.com!

Subscribe to Journey To Leadership

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter by Robert Bruce Shaw

Great leadership emanates from an ability to make great decisions which comes from making bad decisions and learning from them. The sooner in your career that those bad decisions are made, the better…

Of course, you make fewer mistakes as you progress in your career and as you experience the outcomes of the mistakes, but you never stop making them. In addition, mistakes are more costly as you move up the ladder in a company and can potentially derail your career.

Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter by Robert Bruce Shaw #book #books #bookreview   #bookreviews #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #selfdevelopment https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

How to characterize leadership blindspots?

First of all, leadership blindspots  are often associated to leadership strengths. They appear whenever the leader is utilizing his or her strengths at work.

Second of all, these blindspots don’t disappear, even if you are fully aware of them.

Thirdly, blind spots are situational, adaptive and can be helpful. And finally, blindspots are able to impact other people and followers.

Advice for understanding and dealing with leadership blindspots?

Furthermore, blindspots come with a price and has to be recognized by the leader in order for him or her to find a balance. To do so, leaders have to weigh two conflicting needs:

  1. their need for acting with confidence, believing strongly in their vision, and having faith in themselves, their abilities.
  2. their need for assessing their limitations in order to avoid overconfidence or excessive optimism.

The complex balance between self-confidence and self-doubt is unnatural, contradictory but necessary, depends on each individual and each situation. If there are too many blindspots, the leader can be overly confident and arrogant. If there are too few, the leader is somewhat realistic about the obstacles to face, is aware of his or her strengths and weaknesses.

Are there different levels of blindness?

There are three levels of blindness that a leader could experience:

  1. Lack of awareness level. This is the “most extreme form of a blindspot”. At this level, leaders are constantly surprised or blindsided by events.
  2. Faulty assessment level. At this level, leaders are in denial: they refuse to acknowledge risks, to analyze known weaknesses, and to understand the causes and consequences of their blindspots.
  3. Failure to act level. At this level, leaders know the risks, threats and weaknesses that lay ahead but fail to act on them for lack of skills and resolve. Those leaders are adept to the rule “when in doubt, do nothing” or rather remain in their comfort zones.

How to identify your leadership blindspots? 

In order to identify your blindspots:

  1. Review your past and present mistakes. Mistakes are indicative of areas of lack of self-awareness and areas of faulty patterns of thinking and behavior. It is advised  to identify the most significant mistakes, their causes, patterns of behavior and thinking associated to these mistakes and the actions to be taken on the behalf of the leader to prevent those mistakes from reoccurring.
  2. Consider honest and useful feedback from your trusted advisors.
  3. Gain additional insight by taking the blindspot assessment survey.

Then, question the relative importance of your blindspots in your career and its impacts on yourself, the organization to  distinguish which blindspot requires your immediate attention.

What are the different types of leadership blindspots?

Robert Bruce Shaw has classified leadership blindspots in 20 categories:

  1. “Overestimating your strategic capabilities”
  2. “Valuing being right over being effective”
  3. “Failing to balance the what with the how”
  4. “Not seeing your impact on others”
  5. “Believing the rules don’t apply to you”
  6. “Thinking the present is the past”
  7. “Failing to focus on the vital few”
  8. “Taking for granted your team model”
  9. “Overrating the talent on your team”
  10. “Avoiding the tough conversations”
  11. “Trusting the wrong individuals”
  12. “Not developing real successors”
  13. “Failing to capture hearts and minds”
  14. “Losing touch with your shop floor”
  15. “Treating information and opinion as fact”
  16. “Misreading the political landscape”
  17. “Putting personal ambition before the company”
  18. “Clinging to the status quo”
  19. “Underestimating your competitors”
  20. “Being overly optimistic”

Which factors trigger blindspots?

Blindspots often go hand in hand with the leader’s strengths and reappear unexpectedly when the leader does what he or she does best.

There are few factors that lead to blindspots areas:

  1. Experience gaps“. The blindspot stems from a lack of experience or from a habit of using past experiences to extrapolate a present situation.
  2. Information overload” describes an inability to pay attention to everything that is happening when engaged in a complex and challenging task.
  3. Emotional bias” corresponds to an emotional involvement in a particular situation or outcome that clouds judgement.
  4. Cognitive dissonance” is a psychology term associated to a state in which leaders hold two conflicting views of their self-image. The “conflict is resolved through rationalizing one’s belief or actions in a manner that sustains one’s positive self-image” which reinforces the blindspot.
  5. “Misaligned incentives” are compensation systems that are “designed to focus attention and effort within an organization, with the result being that people focus more on some areas than on others”.
  6. Hierarchical distortion”. The information transmitted to hierarchy becomes distorted, false, incomplete because:
    • high-ranking leaders are sometimes detached from the lower levels of the organization.
    • subordinates tend to sugarcoat information by deference or by fear of retaliation.
    • high-ranking leaders pay less attention to less powerful people.
  7. Overconfidence“. Leaders overestimates their own capabilities, skills and knowledge.

How to overcome blindspots?

According to Robert Bruce Shaw, it is not possible to completely suppress blindspots but it is important to recognize them and find ways to work with them? To handle blindspot:

  1. Make an assessment of the problem on your own, stay on contact with frontliners, customers, markets and high potential individuals.
  2. Invest in metrics, processes and data that challenge the leader’s beliefs and basic assumptions.
  3. Develop an ability to recognize, prioritize blindspot warning signs.
  4. Consider feedback from trusted advisors.
  5. “Leaders need to test their ideas and discuss emerging threats with a diverse team of individuals who respect each other’s experience and abilities but are also willing to push each other to reach the best outcomes on the truly critical issues”.

In conclusion, leaders are flawed individuals with strengths, weaknesses and blindspots that are to be acknowledged. Blindspots often show up when the leader is using his or her strengths or reverts to their comfort zone, and cannot be completely resolved. It is up to the leader to stay on the lookout for blindspots, to strike up a balance between self-confidence and self-doubt.

Review

indexIn Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter, Robert Bruce Shaw analyses leadership behaviors when it comes to blindspots and weaknesses.

He illustrates every single one of his thoughts on blindspots with great and renown leadership examples and concludes each example with an analysis and lessons to take away.

Furthermore, not only this book contains realistic and applicable examples, each paragraph of this book can be read on standalone. In addition, Robert Bruce Shaw provides us with a tool —the blindspot assessment survey— for us to identify whether or not we possess blindspots and to what degree we have incubated them.

I recommend this book to employees who are failing to lead and to boost their careers. It has come to my knowledge that because of my belief system, I am an adept of the rule “when in doubt, stand still” which has not bothered my career but has increased my serenity.

After taking the blindspot assessment test, I have received a low probability of blindspots as I am self-aware of my strengths and of my weaknesses.

In light of this issue, in Leadership Blindspots, Robert Bruce Shaw investigates the existence of leadership blindspot, an “unrecognized weakness or threat that has the potential to undermine a leader’s success” and that becomes evident in the way your team, organizations and markets are perceived.

Finally, Leadership Blindspots was intriguing to me because there are so many books about leadership strengths and developing them. I equally appreciated the fact that he mentioned the need for transparency (better visibility of mistakes thanks to the media) which put leaders are under a lot of pressure, all while trying to overcome their blindspots.

Favorite quote(s)

People who are smart and self-assured are often very skillful at justifying their thinking and behavior—to the point of being in denial about their weaknesses and the threats they face. Their intelligence can work against them when they convince themselves, and often others, that they are right even when they are wrong.
Successful individuals who sometimes stumble often do so because they have no one who can protect them from themselves.
The best leaders develop a range of compensating mechanisms that fit their personalities and the company cultures in which they work. In many cases these leaders don’t fundamentally change the way they think, but instead develop warning systems that surface important weaknesses and threats.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Robert Bruce Shaw

Purchase

 

 

  Subscribe to Journey To Leadership  

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact By Phil M. Jones

Most people don’t share their ideas or go after what they truly want because they are afraid of rejection and don’t know how to use the right words at the right time…

Below are 23 magical phrases that will get you to start conversations, share ideas, influence people, assist people in taking decisions and achieve personal success.

Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact By Phil M. Jones #book #books #bookreviews #influence #impact #,negotiation #negotiationskills https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. “I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But”

This phrase is an opening statement, used to introduce a person, an idea, product or service, to remove pressure and to spike interest without going through rejection.

2. “How Open-Minded Are You?”

In general, people love to think of themselves as open-minded. Everybody wants to be open-minded.
Before making any statement, asking people whether or not they are open-minded allows you to introduce new ideas, gain their support, and having them agree with you.

3. “What Do You Know?”

When sharing ideas, some people feel the need to be right or demonstrate that they know best. By finding out what the other person knows before sharing your knowledge, this statement helps you overcome preconceptions, avoid debates and arguments when trying to share new concepts.

4. “How Would You Feel If?”

“How Would You Feel If?” allows you to understand what motivates people and what emotions trigger their decision making process.

The truth is that emotions and motivation tactics are used in all “areas of negotiation, influence and persuasion”.
Indeed, motivation is a reason to step into action and emotions are reason enough to make a decision.
Used effectively, motivation and emotions can be used to make people step into action.

5. “Just Imagine”

“Just Imagine” is employed to use people’s creative mind, to prop people into action by setting a powerful preface and to bring a decision into reality.

People tend to imagine the outcome of a decision in their mind before actually implementing that decision in reality.
That is why sharing a story before asking someone to make a decision is helpful and creates a picture in the mind of the other person.

6. “When Would Be a Good Time?”

This phrase prevents people from telling you that they don’t have the time to listen to you and subconsciously sets the idea that their will be a good time for you to make your point.

7. “I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To”

“I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To” is used when you want to indirectly ask someone whether or not they have gotten the time to do what you asked.

“I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To” allows the other person to feel proud if they have accomplished what you have asked for or it allows them to save face and it gives them the opportunity to step up to the plate.

8. Simple swaps

Asking open-ended questions instead of closed ended questions is more effective for conversation-making.

9. “You Have Three Options”

Presenting people with three options reduces their choices and subsequently helps them through the decision-making process.

10. “There are two types of people in this world”

“There are two types of people in this world” is a sentence that assists people in making up their minds by making wonder what kind of people they actually are, by reducing their choices and allowing them to choose.

11. “I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me”

“I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me” is an opening statement that gets people to quickly agree with you.

12. “If… Then”

“If you don’t do this, then this will happen!” are conditional statements that we have heard since childhood, that most people still believe in and that will guarantee an outcome.

13. “Don’t Worry”

This phrase helps in keeping a highly stressful situation under control and improve someone else’s level of anxiety.

14. “Most People”

Putting “Most People” in front of any sentence, when making a case, makes people feel confident about their decisions.

15. “The Good News”

“The Good News” puts a positive spin on a negative situation and shifts people’s perspective.

16. “What Happens Next”

This statement explains the next stages of the interaction and leads the conversation towards a conclusion.

17. “What Makes You Say That?”

“What Makes You Say That?” maintains control over the conversation, allows the other person to openly express their objections and make a decision.

18. “Before You Make Your Mind Up”

The phrase “Before You Make Your Mind Up” is useful to make someone change their minds, switch their refusal to a potential agreement.

19. “If I Can, Will You?”

Some people find excuses or reasons why they cannot go along with the suggested idea.
Asking “If I can do this for you, will you do this for me?” opens the door for more agreement.

20. “Enough”

Finding out what someone else considers to be enough can encourage them to agree with you or your concept.

21. “Just One More Thing”

The words “Just One More Thing” allow the continuation of the conversation and the introduction of an alternative idea.

22. “A Favor”

People secretly wish that someone would do them a favor and make their lives easier.
Therefore, when someone ask them for a favor, people oftentimes commit to the task at hand or tend to agree with the idea.

23. “Just Out of Curiosity”

“Just Out of Curiosity” provides clarity on the other person’s thought process.

Review

In Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact, after years of studies, Phil M. Jones shares the chosen words that are able to create results, help influence and direct conversation. These 23 magical phrases could be used personally and professionally, in all areas of leadership, negotiation, and sales.

This book is recommended for people who:

  • Regularly speak for a living, who want to change the way they speak and are serious about their personal success.
  • Want to know what to say, how to say it and to whom in every situation.
  • Always wish to be prepared for almost every conversation.

Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact by Phil M. Jones is a demonstration of the power or words and the reason why they have to be used carefully.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to make decisions without overanalyzing them.

Success in life and business is rarely achieved without the support of others. If you can do things that allow other people to help you achieve your goals, then the chances of you reaching them significantly increase.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Phil M. JonesDigiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be By Rachel Hollis

The lies Society, media, family members, bosses tell us can easily become our Truth.

There are many lies that stand at the basis of our insecurities and that are stopping us from becoming who we really want to become…

Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be By Rachel Hollis #book #books #bookreviews #selfawareness #selfdevelopment #selfimprovement #changemindset #successmindset https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. The Lie about Happiness

We always think that the grass is always greener on the other side.

However, this is not always true and we must figure out what makes us feel good or what feeds our spirit and do these things.

2. The Lie about Procrastination

Procrastination is like breaking a promise to yourself.

The key to overcoming procrastination is to:

  • Start small and to take small steps towards your goals.
  • Stay committed to your goals. That is why your goals have to be important to you so you can stay committed on the long term.
  • Be honest with yourself about the reasons of your procrastination.
  • Take accountability for your actions.

3. The Lie about Self-worth

In Society, we constantly feel the need to prove our worth. That desire to prove ourselves and feel good enough translates itself negatively into different areas of our lives.

To overcome the need to prove yourself, you can always:

  • Get some therapy to discover who you truly are, be honest with yourself and find some internal resolve.
  • Take the time you need to take care of yourself and recharge your batteries.
  • Add yourself to your own priority list. As cliché as it sounds, you have to take care of yourself before taking care of others.

4. The Lie about Comparison and Judgement

We often feel the compulsive need to judge and compete with others. It becomes imperative to:

  • Keep an open-mind: you don’t know everything and you don’t have everything figured out.
  • Nobody is immune to judgement so work on your own insecurities and tell yourself the truth.
  • Surround yourself with people who would tell you the truth, build you up instead of putting you down.

5. The Lie about Rejection

“When it comes to your dreams, no is not an answer”. No is not the final answer.

Therefore, it requires strength to:

  • Reframe your mindset: what is happening to you and how you respond to it is all about perspective.
  • Not accept no as the final answer
  • Claim and remember your goals: you can write them down and create a vision board.
  • Be bold about your goals.
  • Understand that if one path towards your goal doesn’t work, change the path and not the goals.

6. The Lie about Expectations

We often feel like we haven’t achieved what we have set out to achieve fast enough.

But there is no need to worry because our goals don’t have expiration dates.

7. The Lie about Authenticity

Society lies to us and tells us that we have to fit a specific mould to exist.
The truth is there isn’t only one right way to exist.

There isn’t one right way to be a woman. There isn’t one right way to be a daughter, friend, boss, wife, mother, or whatever else you categorize yourself as. There are so many different versions of each and every style on this… Click To Tweet

Review

In Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be, Rachel Hollis, in a witty and self-deprecating fashion, dispels the lies perpetrated by Society — lies that we tend to believe about ourselves and accept as a fundamental truth.

After a while, these lies destroy our self worth because we find it hard to live up to the lies that Society projects when it comes to self image, relationship to others, goal accomplishment, self care, and career success.

Rachel Hollis shares her life story and perspective on why people are generally unhappy and unsuccessful.

Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be is dedicated to women who have struggled to find themselves or face the truth about themselves. It deals with all the insecurities that women may face throughout their lives and gives solutions that can be implemented through introspection.

Implementing change isn’t easy: it will take time and hard work, several trials and errors. But, it will be worth it!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.

Judging is still one of the most hurtful, spiteful impulses we own, and our judgments keep us from building a stronger tribe… or from having a tribe in the first place. Our judgment prohibits us from beautiful, life-affirming friendships. Our judgment keeps us from connecting in deeper, richer ways because we’re too stuck on the surface level assumptions we’ve made.

The first step toward becoming the best version of yourself is being honest, truly honest, about what makes you tick.

Truly, I’ve been told no in so many different ways and by so many different people that sometimes it seems as if life itself is saying no. I am an expert in rejection—or more specifically, I am an expert in bouncing back from rejection and fighting my way toward my goal.

I am successful because I refused to take no for an answer. I am successful because I have never once believed my dreams were someone else’s to manage. That’s the incredible part about your dreams: nobody gets to tell you how big they can be.

There are many types of trauma—big, small, childhood, adult—but we all belong to a club we never asked to join. We find solidarity in numbers, in hearing other stories…

There isn’t one right way to be a woman. There isn’t one right way to be a daughter, friend, boss, wife, mother, or whatever else you categorize yourself as. There are so many different versions of each and every style on this planet, and beauty lives in that dichotomy.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Rachel HollisDigiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

6 Leadership Books To Read Before The Year Ends

Leading others often starts with leading oneself…

Below are the 6 best leadership and self help books that you can read right now to develop your sense of direction, find your most authentic self and achieve your goals!

6 Leadership Books To Read Before The Year Ends #book #books #bookreviews #bookrecommendations https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

Wondering what are the best leadership books to read before this year comes to an end?

1. Grit By Angela Duckworth

Grit is nothing more than a combination of courage, passion and perseverance.

In her book Grit, Angela Duckworth interviews a series of leaders from all walks of life whose grit has helped them succeed and whose stories will surely inspire you.

2. How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

In How To Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie gives practical advice on how to successfully attract people, convert their way of thinking towards our ideas, on how to be more confident, achieve more and reach your highest potential in life thanks to your relationships.

3. The Little Book Of Big Lies By Tina Lifford

In The Little Book Of Big Lies, Tina Lifford gives helpful advice for you to build up your inner self and shares fourteen real life stories to help you move on from trauma and your past.

4. Year Of Life By Shonda Rhimes

In her funny memoir Year Of Life, Shonda Rhimes shares her poignant life story and her journey towards personal success.

Throughout her book, she makes you laugh but also reflect on the power of saying yes, of continually staying positive and focused.

5. The Magic Of Thinking Big By David J. Schwartz 

David J. Schwartz teaches us throughout The Magic Of Thinking Big to:

  • Think big and set bigger than life goals.
  • Overcome our fear of failure by actually accomplishing our goals.
  • Fail forward and trust the process.

6. The Obstacle Is The Way By Ryan Holiday

In The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday employs the lessons of Greek philosophy  to help you see past your failures and obstacles. He encourages you to persevere no matter what and to apply a certain stoicism to most of your life situations.

Last Words Of Advice!

Each one of these books demonstrate ways to achieve long term success, accomplish your dreams and figure out a solution to every single one of your problems. To top it all off, these books also exhibit great examples of people who have remained optimistic and creative in the face of challenges.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Journey To Leadership is now hosting networking events…

Come and join us in Paris on February 26th, 2021!

Purchase your tickets for all our events on Eventbrite and Meetup.com!

Subscribe to Journey To Leadership

 

 

 Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

The Courage To Be Disliked By Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

The pursuit of happiness is a concept that has been studied since ancient times…

The Adlerian philosophy provides a thought mindset to help everyone reach happiness, no matter their emotions, their past, background or current circumstances.

Contrary to the Freudian philosophy, Adlerian psychology, in line with Greek philosophy, doesn’t adhere to a cause to effect approach, that one’s past determines their present and ultimately their future.

The fact is that life is a series of choices that fulfills a subjective objective and fits a chosen lifestyle, a given view of the world.

It would require courage to change lifestyle and to chose to be happy.

The Courage To Be Disliked By Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

Main Concepts of Adlerian Psychology

A long dialogue takes place between a Youth, eager for answers, searching for “the truth about life” and a Philosopher, willing to share his knowledge for 5 nights.

The conversation does not only revolve around being happy and being liked but on finding happiness and moreover acquiring a sense of self, freedom and a deepening belief in equality in all areas of life.

What is standing in the way of happiness: Emotions and the Past

People are not controlled by their emotions or their past: emotions are just tools to achieve a goal and you mustn’t look at what you were born with or into but what you can possibly make of it.

“The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.” You want to be Y or someone else because you are utterly focused on what you were born with. Instead, you’ve got to focus on what you can… Click To Tweet

What is standing in the way of happiness: Dealing with interpersonal relationship problems

Unfortunately, most problems that we face are interpersonal relationship problems.

That is because, universally, everybody has feelings of inferiority that are based in an intense desire to continually improve and a comparison with one’s idea of self.

Furthermore, people pursue feelings of superiority through growth, actions and the learning process, and a lack of comparison to other people.

These feelings of inferiority if in excess or not taken care of can develop into inferiority or superiority complexes. However, some people choose to take actionable and courageous steps to overcome these feelings, others use these feelings to justify their actions.

All problems are interpersonal relationship problems. - Alfred Adler Click To Tweet

How to have the lifestyle that you want and truly be happy?

To live the lifestyle that you truly want, you must have the courage to change and to:

  • Accept yourself. Use what you have in your favor, avoid focusing on short comings but change how you use what you have.
  • Change your goals.
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others.
  • Avoid competing with others.
  • Avoid trying to be right (all the time).
  • Stop looking to satisfy other people.
  • Stop looking to be recognized by other people.
  • Avoid living up to other people’s expectation of yourself.
  • Create clear boundaries so you do not live for no one else.
  • Separate your life tasks from others and do not intervene in theirs in order to resolve interpersonal relationship problems.
  • Face your life tasks head on and on your own two feet.
  • Make your own decisions.
  • Be unafraid to be disliked by other people.
  • Avoid praising, disparaging or judging people.
  • Rely on a broader sense of community than the one in your immediate vicinity.
  • Bring value to someone else.

Review

The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga provides an overview into Adler’s psychology and shares a very interesting yet direct/pragmatic approach to life and a simplistic view of the world.

The Courage To Be Disliked is constructed as a conversation, based on mutual respect of the views and opinions of each other, between a youth and a philosopher on the basis Socrate’s dialogue with his disciples.

A witty dialogue on happiness, equality, freedom and interpersonal relationships is held between a Youth and a Philosopher for 5 nights. The youth would represent society or the reader discovering Adler’s concepts and the philosopher would stand outside and has an objective view of society.

In fact, it is a healthy debate between a person who happens to be young and who notices the apparent contradictions of the world and a philosopher who believes that the world is not as complicated as it seems.

Throughout this book, we can see the Youth going through different emotions and stages, the Philosopher remaining equal to himself and their friendship ultimately blossoming.

The Courage To Be Disliked is a book that have been “dying” to read for more than 2 years now and wish I read sooner. The knowledge shared can be found in basically every self-help book on the market right now.

It invites for introspection and is brutally honest when it comes to demonstrating how people make life hard for each other, how people deal with feelings of inferiority and superiority or to explaining how people regularly justify themselves.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

If the past determined everything and couldn’t be changed, we who are living today would no longer be able to take effective steps forward in our lives.

To quote Adler again: “The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.” You want to be Y or someone else because you are utterly focused on what you were born with. Instead, you’ve got to focus on what you can make of your equipment.

Without question, there is no shortage of behavior that is evil. But no one, not even the most hardened criminal, becomes involved in crime purely out of a desire to engage in evil acts. Every criminal has an internal justification for getting involved in crime. A dispute over money leads someone to engage in murder, for instance. To the perpetrator, it is something for which there is a justification and which can be restated as an accomplishment of “good.” Of course, this is not good in a moral sense, but good in the sense of being “of benefit to oneself.”

[…]you, living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life.

When you enter into interpersonal relationships, it is inevitable that to a greater or lesser extent you will get hurt, and you will hurt someone, too. Adler says, “To get rid of one’s problems, all one can do is live in the universe all alone.”

Oh, but being alone isn’t what makes you feel lonely. Loneliness is having other people and society and community around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them. To feel lonely, we need other people. That is to say, it is only in social contexts that a person becomes an “individual.”

But those who make themselves look bigger on borrowed power are essentially living according to other people’s value systems—they are living other people’s lives.

The pursuit of superiority is the mind-set of taking a single step forward on one’s own feet, not the mind-set of competition of the sort that necessitates aiming to be greater than other people.

It’s enough to just keep moving in a forward direction, without competing with anyone. And, of course, there is no need to compare oneself with others.

Everyone is different. Don’t mix up that difference with good and bad, and superior and inferior. Whatever differences we may have, we are all equal. […] Human beings are all equal, but not the same.

Anger as an expression of a personal grudge is nothing but a tool for making others submit to you.

If someone were to abuse me to my face, I would think about the person’s hidden goal. Even if you are not directly abusive, when you feel genuinely angry due to another person’s words or behavior, please consider that the person is challenging you to a power struggle.

To prevent this from happening, when one is challenged to a power struggle, one must never allow oneself to be taken in.

Wherever we go, we are surrounded by other people, and we are social individuals, who exist in our relations to other people. No matter what we do, we cannot escape the strong rope of our interpersonal relationships.

“freedom is being disliked by other people.” [..] It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.

The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.

When one person praises another, the goal is “to manipulate someone who has less ability than you.” It is not done out of gratitude or respect.

Ratings 4.5/5

Author

Ichiro Kishimi

Fumitake Koga

 

 Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life By Gill Hasson

Difficult people are everywhere and often demonstrate difficult behavior.

Their behavior can be overtly hostile and aggressive or passive and dismissive.

They can drain you and break you out of your character because they may act differently than you expect or apply a system of belief you don’t abide to.

Discerning whether or not they are being spitefully or involuntarily difficult is quite tricky.

How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life By Gill Hasson #book #bookreviews #successmindset #selfawareness #selfdevelopment

1. Calmly walk away from difficult people

Some people are difficult even impossible all the goddamn time for no clear reason and will drain you of your energy and even destroy your life, no matter what you do.

In these circumstances, it becomes detrimental to walk away from the situation, to make a clean break and focus on the positives to come.

2. Try and understand the difficult person

To understand difficult people, you must first start by identifying your values, expectations of people and system of belief. You must also understand that you have legal and personal rights to defend.

Often times, our expectations of how people should act and treat us are what create misunderstanding, conflict and resentments.

If your expectations are too high, you will be let down in some fashion and if they are too low, you will be disrespected.

If your expectations are too rigid or unrealistic, you will suffer the consequences and involuntarily create difficult people.

Instead, don’t place any expectations on anyone but expect a positive outcome.

3. Take responsibility for your own reaction

Taking responsibility for your reactions will help you manage your emotions, gain control over a situation, direct and influence others.

It will also help you reframe your mindset and not play victim to your circumstances.

4. Learn what to say and what not to say to a difficult person

You can start by actively listening to them and then by finding out what to say and not to say.

Actively listening does not mean that you are actively agreeing with their point of view or that you are endorsing their opinion but it means that you are willing to acknowledge what they have said and to understand them.

Learning what to say or not to say is about being assertive, standing your ground, choosing how to respond to a situation, thinking about consequences, setting limits and finding an appropriate solution.

5. Deal with the difficult behavior and not the person

Learn to be assertive, to gain a solid sense of self, to stand your ground, to communicate your needs clearly and confidently.

Not asserting yourself and accommodating a difficult person will only lead them to disrespect you further and

Review

How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life by Gill Hasson serves as a practical guide to become more assertive, confident, courageous and to think strategically when it comes to dealing with difficult people.

How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life explores situations in life and at work that we have dealt with and still have to deal with. Gill Hasson puts many challenging situations into perspective and provides solutions to problems.

On the long run, difficult people are toxic and corrosive. It is detrimental to carefully monitor the impact of these types on individuals on our lives, mental and physical health.

Some of them enjoy creating chaos and toxicity around them and others do so involuntarily.

Sometimes, we are able to put physical distance between yourself and difficult people. Other times, because of our work situation or familial reasons, we have to put up with them and have to find different ways to put up with them.

Gill Hasson puts many challenging situations into perspective and provides solutions to problems.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The thing is you can’t directly change other people’s behaviour; the only thing you can change is how you respond and deal with it.

In the past, you may have thought that there was only one or two ways to do this: either grit your teeth and hope that they’ll stop being so difficult, that things will improve, or get the difficult person to see just how difficult they’re being.
Both of these approaches are unlikely to fix the problem. In the case of gritting your teeth and hoping things will improve… they won’t. In the case of getting them to see
just how difficult they’re being, that’s unlikely too.

Even if a confident person feels anxious about dealing with difficult people, they don’t let fear and anxiety paralyse them: they deal with other people and situations despite their fears or worries. They recognize they have to start somewhere, however apprehensive they are.

You can’t control what others think about you, so leave them to their own judgements.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Gill Hasson

 Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021

How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

For some reason, successful leaders seem to know how to effectively handle people, to win friends and to influence people…

These leaders have built their entire life and professional career around people by following basic principles.

How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie #book #bookreview #bookreviews #reviews #influence #relationships #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #businessworld journeytoleadershipblog.com

Wining Friends

Leaders understand that relationships can take you to the next level. Therefore, they tend to:

1. Avoid negative reviews

Leaders who are socially skilled avoid making complaints, condemning people, or manufacturing open and public criticism.

They understand that negative criticism generally breeds resentment.

Instead, they try to understand where the people are coming from.

2. Find out what the people really want

Most people care about their health, self-preservation, food, sleep, money, a craving for sincere appreciation and a desire for importance…

Furthermore, appreciation does not consist in giving cheap flattery but in honest appreciation.

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. - Dale Carnegie Click To Tweet

3. Show people how to get what they want

To show people what they want and how to get it, leaders:

  • Consider the advantages and disadvantages of the situation.
  • Learn to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Influencing People

Influencing people is a basic and important skill in leadership.

That is why leaders who seek to increase their leadership:

1. Genuinely become interested in other people

They understand human nature, truly enjoy the interaction with people and do things for other people without any ulterior motives.

In addition, they remember people’s name, learn to smile and to be cheerful in their presence.

Indeed, smiling is contagious and can change an entire situation.

2. Become versed in the art of conversation

Being a great conversationalist starts by listening to people and encouraging people to talk about themselves.

Therefore, leaders find out the other person’s interest and start from there.

3. Obey the Golden Rule

Leaders observe the rules of human relationships.

As a consequence, they obey the Golden Rule and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.

4. Use diplomacy

To win people over to your way of thinking, they:

  • Are diplomatic.
  • Avoid arguments at all cost.
  • Never tell a person that they are wrong.
  • Consider the other person’s feelings, ideas and point of view.
  • Show respect for another person’s point of view.
  • Admit their wrongs and appeal to nobler motives.
  • Admit their mistakes and talk about them.
  • Don’t give direct orders but suggestions.
  • Give people the opportunity to make decisions for themselves and to correct themselves.
  • Don’t hurt people’s self-esteem and don’t diminish them in their own eyes

Review

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie aims to educate adults into building healthy relationships and climbing up the social ladder.

Dale Carnegie shares contemporaneous and pragmatic principles that serve as guidelines for leaders who wish to network and grow their social capital.

Most of these principles are essential to life as much as the business world and will increase your skill in human relationship.

However, Dale Carnegie promotes the praising or “sucking up” game and uses the term “friend” very loosely.

That is because most of the principles are geared towards the business world and most of his examples are taken from people who have successfully implemented these principles.

Unfortunately, praises don’t work on everybody and is not a solution to all problems.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Dale CarnegieDigiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021