Your First Leadership Job: How Catalyst Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others by Tacy M. Byham and Richard S. Wellins

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Your First Leadership Job: How Catalyst Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others acknowledges the hardship of a first-time leadership position plus strives to guide and assist new leaders in:

  • Becoming “Catalyst Leaders”. “Catalyst leaders represent the gold standard—energetic, supportive, forward-thinking mentors who spark action in others”.
  • Coping with the transition from contributor to leader, dealing with the uncertainty of the new position
  • Building or improving leadership skills,
  • Communicating effectively with your team and your bosses,
  • Working with members of your team, coaching them, engaging with them and motivating them in order to obtain results,
  • Navigating organizational politics.

Several self-assessment tests, quizzes and diagnostics are implemented in the book to make light of a challenging situation, to evaluate and enhance your leadership skills.

Your First Leadership Job: How Catalyst Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others by Tacy M. Byham and Richard S. Wellins #book #bookreview #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #success #successmindset https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

According to Your First Leadership Job, the catalyst leader should follow the following steps to ensure success:

  1. Learn your organization’s culture and get to know your team and your bosses to get a better understanding of your role, your priorities, the expectations from your team and from upper management, the current reputation of your team, their preferred communication methods and finally, their good and bad habits.
  2. Make a first good impression the moment you step into your new role. Judgement by your team will instantly be formed about your capabilities to lead.
  3. Develop a leadership brand. In order to develop a leadership brand, be authentic (show your integrity through your actions), bring out the best in people (understand and improve your team skills, encourage, motivate and coach them), be receptive to feedback.
  4. Address and meet your team personal needs. To do so, use the five Key Principles: Maintain or enhance self-esteem motivate the team. Listen and respond with empathy to diffuse negative energy and create a positive environment.Ask for help and encourage involvement to show that you respect and value your team’s opinion, knowledge and skills.Share thoughts, feelings, and rationale to build trust. (to build trust)Provide support without removing responsibility. (to build ownership)
  5. Implement or improve your common leadership interaction styles.
  6. Start seeking performance results and meeting the company’s requirements/needs by developing an execution strategy (focus on the three major priorities at a time, manage time accordingly and measure task progress with indicators, create milestone for the team, by holding your team accountable for their own results)
  7. Learn how to hire new candidates for a job by asking the right questions during the interview.
  8. Develop a good working relationship with your boss.
  9. Master meetings and make them meaningful.  Your ability to lead will be estimated by your ability to organize and run a meeting.
  10. Give positive or developmental feedback.
  11. Learn to handle difficult employees.
  12. Delegate tasks and the authority associated to the task accordingly to achieve results faster and more effectively. Delegating also helps to save up your time for higher priorities a tasks.

Review

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Your First Leadership Job: How Catalyst Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others  by Tacy M. Byham and Richard S. Wellins is a self-help book destined to potential, first-time or frontline leaders.

Your First Leadership Job: How Catalyst Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others is a clear and methodical how-to book that does not only define leadership but also shares tips on how to become a “Catalyst Leader” and how to withstand challenging situations that most first-time leaders encounter.

I largely recommend it to introverted, shy, unexpected leaders who don’t always know how to navigate office politics along to women who are ambitious but not confident in their leadership skills.

For my part, as an introvert and a woman, I have been in three unofficial leadership positions that started successfully but ended in failure. Before reading this book, I was not able to pinpoint my weaknesses nor able to fix my situation.

Your First Leadership Job has been resourceful, reassuring and has given me hope that I can still pursue my journey towards leadership. I now have a positive perspective on my experiences.

As a result, I am currently learning how to earn my team’s trust, convey a message and share a vision with my team.

Favorite quote(s)

“Catalyst leaders represent the gold standard—energetic, supportive, forward-thinking mentors who spark action in others”.

Earlier in this book we pointed out that what makes you a successful leader may have nothing to do with what made you successful in the past. The challenges you face as a leader are much different—and they can be extra tough.

Ratings 4/5

Authors

Tacy M. Byham

Richard S. Wellins

Purchase

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How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life By Gill Hasson

Difficult people are everywhere and often demonstrate difficult behavior.

Their behavior can be overtly hostile and aggressive or passive and dismissive.

They can drain you and break you out of your character because they may act differently than you expect or apply a system of belief you don’t abide to.

Discerning whether or not they are being spitefully or involuntarily difficult is quite tricky.

1. Calmly walk away from difficult people

Some people are difficult even impossible all the goddamn time for no clear reason and will drain you of your energy and even destroy your life, no matter what you do.

In these circumstances, it becomes detrimental to walk away from the situation, to make a clean break and focus on the positives to come.

2. Try and understand the difficult person

To understand difficult people, you must first start by identifying your values, expectations of people and system of belief.

You must also understand that you have legal and personal rights to defend.

Often times, our expectations of how people should act and treat us are what create misunderstanding, conflict and resentments.

If your expectations are too high, you will be let down in some fashion and if they are too low, you will be disrespected.

If your expectations are too rigid or unrealistic, you will suffer the consequences and involuntarily create difficult people.

Instead, don’t place any expectations on anyone but expect a positive outcome.

3. Take responsibility for your own reaction

Taking responsibility for your reactions will help you manage your emotions, gain control over a situation, direct and influence others.

It will also help you reframe your mindset and not play victim to your circumstances.

4. Learn what to say and what not to say to a difficult person

You can start by actively listening to them and then by finding out what to say and not to say.

Actively listening does not mean that you are actively agreeing with their point of view or that you are endorsing their opinion but it means that you are willing to acknowledge what they have said and to understand them.

Learning what to say or not to say is about being assertive, standing your ground, choosing how to respond to a situation, thinking about consequences, setting limits and finding an appropriate solution.

5. Deal with the difficult behavior and not the person

Learn to be assertive, to gain a solid sense of self, to stand your ground, to communicate your needs clearly and confidently.

Not asserting yourself and accommodating a difficult person will only lead them to disrespect you further and

Review

How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life by Gill Hasson serves as a practical guide to become more assertive, confident, courageous and to think strategically when it comes to dealing with difficult people.

How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life explores situations in life and at work that we have dealt with and still have to deal with.

Gill Hasson puts many challenging situations into perspective and provides solutions to problems.

On the long run, difficult people are toxic and corrosive. It is detrimental to carefully monitor the impact of these types on individuals on our lives, mental and physical health.

Some of them enjoy creating chaos and toxicity around them and others do so involuntarily.

Sometimes, we are able to put physical distance between yourself and difficult people.

Other times, because of our work situation or familial reasons, we have to put up with them and have to find different ways to put up with them.

Gill Hasson puts many challenging situations into perspective and provides solutions to problems.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The thing is you can’t directly change other people’s behaviour; the only thing you can change is how you respond and deal with it.

In the past, you may have thought that there was only one or two ways to do this: either grit your teeth and hope that they’ll stop being so difficult, that things will improve, or get the difficult person to see just how difficult they’re being.
Both of these approaches are unlikely to fix the problem. In the case of gritting your teeth and hoping things will improve… they won’t. In the case of getting them to see
just how difficult they’re being, that’s unlikely too.

Even if a confident person feels anxious about dealing with difficult people, they don’t let fear and anxiety paralyse them: they deal with other people and situations despite their fears or worries. They recognize they have to start somewhere, however apprehensive they are.

You can’t control what others think about you, so leave them to their own judgements.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Gill Hasson

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13 Leadership Books Every Up & Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success

There comes a time when leaders feel stuck in a rut, unable to solve problems or constantly being blindsided by events.

That is because they lack wisdom and character, they don’t have the appropriate knowledge of themselves and of the situation.

13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success  #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #success #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

Books provide valuable information for leaders to grow and to improve themselves.

Reading has to play an important part in leadership.

The following books will help you improve your self-awareness, develop your character, build your vision and your purpose.

1. The Alchemist

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Author: Paulo Coelho

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Alchemist outlines the journey of a leader.

It teaches us to be ourselves and to follows our heart and gut.

It reminds us that failure always brings us closer to our success and that all we need is already within us.

2. The Four Agreements

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

He encourages us to be impeccable with our words, to not take anything personally, to not making assumptions and to do our best.

3. Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

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Author: Kim Scott

Ratings 3/5

In Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, Kim Scott reveals ways to be truthful, to develop candid relationships.

Being truthful without being a bully is difficult. Candor comes with risks but it will determine your level of success in the long run.

4. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

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Author: Amy Cuddy

Ratings: 3.5/5

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy gives advice on managing nonverbal cues to induce Presence, identifying your best authentic self, nurturing your boldest self, and creating personal power.

It is useful for leaders who want to get in touch with their best self.

5. H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.

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Author: Brad Lomenick

Ratings: 4/5

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle., Brad Lomenick draws conclusions from his personal leadership style and allies spirituality with leadership.

He shares various tips on being a better leader. He also urges us to define who we are, to identify where you are going and how you will get there.

6. Principles: Life and Work

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Author: Ray Dalio

Ratings: 3/5

Dalio shares many principles to navigate life and work.

Ray Dalio encourages us to stay open-minded, to find and speak truth in order to live a healthier lifestyle, to meet our goals and to handle setbacks.

7. Tribes: We need you to lead us

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Author: Seth Godin

Ratings: 3/5

In Tribes: We need you to lead us, Seth Godin declares that everybody wants and needs to belong to a tribe.

He also demonstrates how challenging the status quo is a simple way to create your own tribe, to build your fellowship, to define your leadership without forcing people.

8. No One Understands You and What To Do About It

Author: Heidi Grant Halvorson

Ratings: 4/5

In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood.

She also gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.

9. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Author: Marshall Goldsmith

Ratings: 4/5

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, Marshall Goldsmith helps you identify all the 21 bad behaviors that are currently holding you back from success.

He also provides different solutions so you develop your character and be your best self at work.

10. Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

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Author: Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Ratings 3/5

Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg list all the common self-defeating habits that we have acquired in life and have brought to work.

In order to achieve success, they show us how to get out our own way, how to stop self-sabotaging, how and what to change.

11. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less

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Author: Greg Mckeown

Ratings: 4/5

Essentialism is a thought process that drives success, that improves your decisions making and time management skills.

In Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less, Greg Mckeown replaces the false assumptions that we can do it all, that being busy means being productive, that we must accept every single opportunity that comes our way.

12. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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Author: Daniel H. Pink

Ratings: 4/5

In Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Daniel H. Pink shows us that people are not motivated by common external factors such as money or fame.

Daniel H. Pink reveals that people’s behaviors are mostly driven by purpose, passion, autonomy, a need for self-improvement and for self-imposed goals.

Leaders can use that innate drive to increase productivity, improve performance and build stronger teams.

13. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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Author: Angela Duckworth

Ratings 3/5

In Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Duckworth defines Grit as a combination of resilience, determination, purpose and passion.

According to Angela Duckworth, anyone can acquire grit. Furthermore, people with grit are more successful than people who are talented but who don’t put in work.

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6 Leadership Books To Read Before The Year Ends

Leading others often starts with leading oneself…

Below are the 6 best leadership and self help books that you can read right now to develop your sense of direction, find your most authentic self and achieve your goals!

6 Leadership Books To Read Before The Year Ends #books #bookreviews #reading #leadershipbooks #leadershipdevelopmentbooks #journeytoleadershipbooks #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

Wondering what are the best leadership books to read before this year comes to an end?

1. Grit By Angela Duckworth

Grit is nothing more than a combination of courage, passion and perseverance.

In her book Grit, Angela Duckworth interviews a series of leaders from all walks of life whose grit has helped them succeed and whose stories will surely inspire you.

2. How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

In How To Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie gives practical advice on how to successfully attract people, convert their way of thinking towards our ideas, on how to be more confident, achieve more and reach your highest potential in life thanks to your relationships.

3. The Little Book Of Big Lies By Tina Lifford

In The Little Book Of Big Lies, Tina Lifford gives helpful advice for you to build up your inner self and shares fourteen real life stories to help you move on from trauma and your past.

4. Year Of Life By Shonda Rhimes

In her funny memoir Year Of Life, Shonda Rhimes shares her poignant life story and her journey towards personal success.

Throughout her book, she makes you laugh but also reflect on the power of saying yes, of continually staying positive and focused.

5. The Magic Of Thinking Big By David J. Schwartz

David J. Schwartz teaches us throughout The Magic Of Thinking Big to:

  • Think big and set bigger than life goals.
  • Overcome our fear of failure by actually accomplishing our goals.
  • Fail forward and trust the process.

6. The Obstacle Is The Way By Ryan Holiday

In The Obstacle Is The Way, Ryan Holiday employs the lessons of Greek philosophy to help you see past your failures and obstacles.

He encourages you to persevere no matter what and to apply a certain stoicism to most of your life situations.

Last Words Of Advice!

Each one of these books demonstrate ways to achieve long term success, accomplish your dreams and figure out a solution to every single one of your problems.

To top it all off, these books also exhibit great examples of people who have remained optimistic and creative in the face of challenges.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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Purchase your tickets for all our events on Eventbrite and Meetup.com!

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How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

For some reason, successful leaders seem to know how to effectively handle people, to win friends and to influence people…

These leaders have built their entire life and professional career around people by following basic principles.

How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie #books #bookreviews #influence #relationships #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

Wining Friends

Leaders understand that relationships can take you to the next level. Therefore, they tend to:

1. Avoid negative reviews

Leaders who are socially skilled avoid making complaints, condemning people, or manufacturing open and public criticism.

They understand that negative criticism generally breeds resentment.

Instead, they try to understand where the people are coming from.

2. Find out what the people really want

Most people care about their health, self-preservation, food, sleep, money, a craving for sincere appreciation and a desire for importance…

Furthermore, appreciation does not consist in giving cheap flattery but in honest appreciation.

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. - Dale Carnegie Click To Tweet

3. Show people how to get what they want

To show people what they want and how to get it, leaders:

  • Consider the advantages and disadvantages of the situation.
  • Learn to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Influencing People

Influencing people is a basic and important skill in leadership.

That is why leaders who seek to increase their leadership:

1. Genuinely become interested in other people

They understand human nature, truly enjoy the interaction with people and do things for other people without any ulterior motives.

In addition, they remember people’s name, learn to smile and to be cheerful in their presence.

Indeed, smiling is contagious and can change an entire situation.

2. Become versed in the art of conversation

Being a great conversationalist starts by listening to people and encouraging people to talk about themselves.

Therefore, leaders find out the other person’s interest and start from there.

3. Obey the Golden Rule

Leaders observe the rules of human relationships.

As a consequence, they obey the Golden Rule and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.

4. Use diplomacy

To win people over to your way of thinking, they:

  • Are diplomatic.
  • Avoid arguments at all cost.
  • Never tell a person that they are wrong.
  • Consider the other person’s feelings, ideas and point of view.
  • Show respect for another person’s point of view.
  • Admit their wrongs and appeal to nobler motives.
  • Admit their mistakes and talk about them.
  • Don’t give direct orders but suggestions.
  • Give people the opportunity to make decisions for themselves and to correct themselves.
  • Don’t hurt people’s self-esteem and don’t diminish them in their own eyes

Review

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie aims to educate adults into building healthy relationships and climbing up the social ladder.

Dale Carnegie shares contemporaneous and pragmatic principles that serve as guidelines for leaders who wish to network and grow their social capital.

Most of these principles are essential to life as much as the business world and will increase your skill in human relationship.

However, Dale Carnegie promotes the praising or “sucking up” game and uses the term “friend” very loosely.

That is because most of the principles are geared towards the business world and most of his examples are taken from people who have successfully implemented these principles.

Unfortunately, praises don’t work on everybody and is not a solution to all problems.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Dale Carnegie

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The 5 Second Rule By Mel Robbins

The 5 Second Rule is a “metacognition technique” that improves your sense of self, your life, career, health.

The principle of The 5 Second Rule is the following:
“The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.” At 1, you should be moving.

The 5 Second Rule By Mel Robbins #motivation #inspiration #goals #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

Where does The 5 Second Rule come from?

The principle of The 5 Second Rule comes from the combination of two thoughts:

  • Mel Robbins, while feeling she failed at life, realized that she would take only 5 seconds to talk herself out of waking up in the morning, out of improving and doing the right thing.
  • One night, while watching TV, Mel Robbins also made the observation that a rocket launches after a 5 second countdown. Afterwards, she would launch herself out of bed, the same way the rocket would launch into space.

What are the benefits of The 5 Second Rule?

The 5 Second Rule is an empowering thought process. Through this principle, you are able to experience freedom and quiet your mind.

The 5 Second Rule enables you to trust your instincts, to take back control of your life, to make the right decisions.

Among its various applications, you will have the ability to improve your health, focus on the essentials, increase your productivity, break procrastination, avoid distractions, be authentic, replace your bad habits with good ones, get up early and start your routine early in the morning.
The 5 Second Rule is a tool that drives courage in difficult times and builds “Real Confidence”. It pushes you to act and to change.

What about courage?

When trying to change, when facing something that is uncertain, unknown, that scares you or makes you hesitate, your brain feels like something is wrong.

Your mind will then stop the change process and trap you with your own thoughts.

Courage, your birthright, is therefore required to push you forward and to implement change.

The 5 Second Rule will give you the courage you need to go after what you really want, to have a more fulfilling life and to not give in to your fears.

In addition, it is detrimental for you to stop making excuses for not acting on your instincts. Your excuses are always wrong and there is no right time.

No external factor will validate your choices and your ideas.

Only putting yourself out there and getting out your comfort zone will.

What about confidence?

Confidence is a skill which means it is a learnt behavior.

In fact, your confidence has nothing to do with your personality and will increase every time you step out of your comfort zone.

Your everyday courage will help you assess your own worth, build up your confidence, connect with yourself, find your true passion, build meaningful relationships, and meet new people.

Your everyday courage gives you the confidence to explore and makes you realize that the power you need was inside of you all along.

Review

The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins is a self-help book, urging people to take action by using a 5 second countdown trick.

In appearance, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins, looks like a time management book that provides quick short-term fixes.

However, in reality, The 5 Second Rule is a transformational tool, delivering long-term results.

It is written for people who are plagued by fear, who want to change and take charge of their lives but don’t know how to.

Change is difficult because it requires courage and confidence.

Furthermore, The 5 Second Rule can be customized to your liking. It enables you to:

  • Work on your confidence and your courage.
  • Stop overthinking, worrying and magnifying problems.
  • Trust your guts and honor your instincts.
  • Stop hesitating and holding yourself back.
  • Become more present and acquire patience.
  • Start performing and to become more goal-oriented.
  • Control your emotions, fight mental illnesses and bad mental habits.
  • Take ownership of your life and start the transformation process.

The 5 Second Rule is a principle that we already intuitively and intrinsically know.

But, after years of research, Mel Robbins coherently put these ideas together.

Mel Robbins also shares poignant quotes, real examples and testimonials of people who have used The 5 Second Rule for diverse reasons.

The 5 Second Rule is life changing, encouraging, motivational and inspirational. It shows you how to change for the better.

Favorite quote(s)

That’s what you are doing when you use the Rule. You are honoring yourself. You are championing your ideas. And each time you use it, you take one step closer to being the person you are truly meant to be.

Doing the work to improve your life is simple, you can do it, and it’s work you want to do—because it’s the most important work that there is. It is the work of learning how to love and trust yourself enough to stop waiting and to start leaning into all the magic, opportunity, and joy that your life, work, and relationships have to offer.

When it comes to goals, dreams, and changing your life, your inner wisdom is a genius. Your goal-related impulses, urges, and instincts are there to guide you. You need to learn to bet on them.

The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Mel Robbins

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Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg Mckeown

“Less but better” embodies the ethic of Essentialism.

The essence of Essentialism

Essentialism is a way of thinking that drives success, that replaces false assumptions that we can do it all, that being busy means being productive, that we must accept every single opportunity that comes our way.

Essentialists understand that they have the ability to choose before they feel helpless and let someone else make decisions for them.

They acknowledge that hard work does not necessarily pay off or lead to great results. Essentialists therefore learn to distinguish among all opportunities the best and most appropriate, most essential.

They also understand that decisions are made by design and not by default.

They focus their energy and time on a small portion of activities, and refuse those that won’t help them achieve their goals.

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg Mckeown #books #bookreviews #essentialism #discipline #prioritization #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

The exploration and selection process

Essentialists give themselves the liberty to explore everything and anything before making a decisions on what to focus their energy, before committing to one option.

To do so, they:

  • Set aside time to think, to focus on different possibilities, to create space for intense concentration, to read, to meditate.
  • Visualize the bigger picture and notice the larger issues that matter.
  • Listen deliberately and observe intensely.
  • Write a journal, with restraint, until it becomes a habit to keep track of the small changes implemented and to memorize the important events and information.
  • Take time to play. In the workplace and in adulthood, playing has become trivial and undermined. However, playing sparks creativity, opens people up to see more possibilities, “challenges old assumptions and makes us more receptive to untested ideas”, alleviates stress, improve overall corporate skills.
  • Make sleep a priority to counter-intuitively remain productive, to increase creativity and sustain a healthy mind.
  • Apply the 90 percent rule, if unsure of a decision, to avoid committing to too many options in our personal and professional lives. “think about the single most important criterion for that decision, and then simply give the option a score between 0 and 100. If you rate it any lower than 90 percent, then automatically change the rating to 0 and simply reject”. For example, the 90 percent rule is useful to hire the right people and make sure that they are fit from the start.
  • Say no to the unwanted opportunities that come your way.
  • Fight the fear of missing out.

The elimination process

Furthermore, Essentialists find the courage, strength and conviction to firmly and resolutely say no to external pressure when they believe it is right and eliminate the nonessentials.

They clarify their goals, their personal and professional mission statements, make them concrete, measurable, meaningful and memorable, identify the activities that align themselves with their mission statements.

Clarifying their goals and missions improves their relationships, their motivation, sense of cooperation, sense of purpose, their jobs, roles.

It also helps them focus their energy and time in one direction and therefore increase productivity.

In the workplace, employees without a clear mission or values tend to play politics.

Often Nonessentialists are afraid of missing out on an opportunity or are afraid of conflict, of not being conform to expectations, to social norms, but saying no will increase your effectiveness and the respect level.

Nonessentialists would be better off if they:

  • Separated the person from their decisions.
  • Found different ways to say no politely but firmly. It is critical to be prepared for reactions of annoyance, disappointment or anger from the other party. However, respect usually replaces those emotions in the long run.
  • Traded the denied nonessential opportunities for better ones.
  • Realized that respect is more valuable than popularity.
  • Exercised discipline to remove distractions, cut their losses and stopped investing time, money and energy in nonessentials, dead-end activities.
  • Broke free from a false sense of ownership to a project and object.
  • Avoided staying somewhere just because they are afraid of wasting time, losing their investment and ownership.
  • Admitted their mistakes.
  • Avoided trying too hard to fit in.
  • Challenged the status quo.
  • Took a break before responding to someone and taking on a new commitment.
  • Set boundaries and viewed them as liberating. Essentialists write down their red flags, deal breakers, lay down their priorities and take heed of negative people.

The execution process

It is critical to come up with a system to execute your essential activities, the right things the right way.

To prepare for wet days or to allocate time to respond to the unexpected, Essentialists create a buffer.

The buffer is a contingency plan for difficult circumstances, works as a risk management strategy, ensures some wiggle room to execute their activities.

To create a buffer, Essentialists:

  • Accurately estimate the time of the activity by adding half the time that is expected to accomplish your tasks.
  • Identify early all obstacles in their plan and remove them beforehand.
  • Take small steps, increase positive interactions and congratulate themselves and their team for small wins.
  • Design a routine to improve their ability to execute the essentials, to render the process easy and unconscious, to remove obstacles, to save their energy in the long run, to enhance their creativity and innovation.
  • Stay in the present, avoid doing too many thing at once as opposed to doing many things and focusing on one thing at a time.

Favorite quote(s)

the pursuit of success can be a catalyst for failure. Put another way, success can distract us from focusing on the essential things that produce success in the first place.

Discerning what is essential to explore requires us to be disciplined in how we scan and filter all the competing and conflicting facts, options, and opinions constantly vying for our attention.

By definition, applying highly selective criteria is a trade-off; sometimes you will have to turn down a seemingly very good option and have faith that the perfect option will soon come along.

Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.

Review

In Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less, Greg Mckeown teaches us to hone our decisions making and time management skills in order to achieve more to do less and to do better, to filter out the noise and distractions, to find out what we really want out of life and pursue our dreams the most effective and disciplined way possible.

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg Mckeown is destined to overachievers, to ambitious people, and to those who feel like they are spread thin in their personal and professional lives.

Indeed, when we want to be successful, we have a tendency of accepting every opportunity that comes to us, we fear that we will be missing out and we worry about everything.

Greg Mckeown shows us that we have the power to choose, that it is OK to turn down a mediocre option, with the faith that a better option comes around.

Also, this book administers practical advice, applicable to leaders, illustrated with great examples, and made me realize the number of things that hinder my productivity and my time management.

At last, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less cannot be compared with New Years resolutions but provides a new way of thinking, a new way of life.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Greg Mckeown

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Daring Greatly By Brené Brown

Daring Greatly means being vulnerable, being engaged, being exposed and avoiding being perfect.

Daring Greatly By Brené Brown #book #bookreviews #vulnerability #selfimprovement #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

A Narcissistic Society

Many researchers have shown that the American culture has turned into a narcissistic influenced culture, a culture of scarcity, a culture where people put themselves first, think that they are special, are always connected to social media, go after money and power, chase beauty and other vanity, compare themselves, are disengaged and concerned with the idea of lacking.

Instead of putting sown narcissistic people and showing them that they are not special, it is better to seek understanding and find the root of the problem.

Being narcissistic stems from a feeling of not being enough and of being ordinary.

Vulnerability & The Feeling Of Not Being Enough

The feeling of not being enough brings about shame and stops us from being vulnerable.

Shame is a universal emotion, is corrosive, “keeps us small, resentful and afraid”.

Furthermore, we become disengaged when we are too afraid to be vulnerable, when we are ashamed, when we lack purpose, when a social contract is not met.

It is critical to speak out on your shame, to be self-aware, to know your self-worth, to ask and receive feedback because knowing your worth will help you become more vulnerable.

To eradicate the feeling of shame:

  • Identify your shame triggers.
  • Observe your self talk.
  • Practice authenticity.
  • Accept your experiences.
  • Share your experience, be vulnerable with someone who genuinely cares about you.

Common Misconceptions About Vulnerability

We are thought not to be vulnerable, not to show our emotions, to look down on those who do.

There are several misconceptions when it comes to vulnerability.

Misconception #1: “Vulnerability is weakness”

The reality is vulnerability is not a weakness, is not good or bad.

Vulnerable is the origin of all emotions. It therefore becomes important to acknowledge your vulnerability.

Besides, the people who think that they are impenetrable are in fact the most vulnerable.

Misconception #2: “I don’t do vulnerability”

Vulnerability is unavoidable.

When we try to avoid it, we often exhibit unusual inconsistent behaviors.

Misconception #3: Vulnerability is letting it all hang out”

You cannot be vulnerable with everyone. It is important to build trust and boundaries before being vulnerable.

Otherwise, more times than ever, you will end up getting betrayed and hurt.

Misconception #4: “We can go it alone”

Individualism and going it alone are highly regarded in American culture.

In this case, it is essential to construct a support system, to ask for and receive help

Shame As A Management Tool

Most of the time, shame and the blame game are used as management tool, yet is ineffective.

Subsequently, the situations that we face on a daily basis, in the education system, in the workplace, force us to keep our head down and our mouth shut which doesn’t encourage innovation, creativity or the learning process.

Vulnerability & Protective Mechanism

Our protective mechanisms are survival strategies, used to shield our vulnerability.

Those shields can go from foreboding joy, to perfectionism to numbing down your emotions.

To avoid shielding vulnerability, it is critical to:

  • Practice gratitude.
  • Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Confront your emotions.
  • Live a more fulfilling life and feed your spirit.
  • Focus your time and energy on the essentials.
  • Consider how your behavior affect those around you.

Shield #1: Victim mentality

Some people go through life with a victim or perpetrator, win or lose mentally and subsequently fall into one of these categories.

Surprisingly, the people who have been through the most trauma, demonstrate the most resilience.

People who don’t feel like victims or perpetrators, see themselves as thrivers.

Shield #2: “Floodlighting”

Floodlighting is essentially oversharing and stems from a need for confirmation and validation.

We have to be careful not to share vulnerable stories too soon with people who have not earned the right to hear them.

The people on the receiving end often shut down, lack empathy or feel disconnected.

Shield #3: “The smash and grab”

With this shield, some people use vulnerability as a manipulation, sensationalizing tactic that is common in celebrity culture, as an attention seeking tool.

Shield #4: “Serpentining”

Serpentining is a draining and an avoidance behavior.

It happens when people are not facing a situation head on for fear of being vulnerable, of not being present.

Shield #5: Mean-spiritedness

In this case, people use criticism, cynicism and mean-spiritedness to protect themselves.

They are mean to people who dare demonstrate vulnerability.

Review

Daring Greatly is essential to leadership, parenting, relationships, finding your purpose and your passion.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown gives insight into the corporate and the western culture where being vulnerable equals being weak and lets you open to different attacks.

Through Daring Greatly, Brown has gathered data from people from different walks of life so we can somewhat self diagnose and become more aware of some of our toxic behavior.

Brené Brown makes some pertinent point and writes exactly like she speaks.

Furthermore, Brown is very open and authentic, shares her anecdotes, fears and doubt. For example, she is vulnerable with us, mindful of the stories to share, lets us into her conversations with her therapist.

Brené Brown explains the reasons why we are afraid of being vulnerable, the different ways we protect ourselves from vulnerability, and how to become more vulnerable in our society.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

Favorite quote(s)

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.

Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying. Researchers don’t find shame correlated with positive outcomes at all—there are no data to support that shame is a helpful compass for good behavior. In fact, shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and
hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.

Much of the beauty of light owes its existence to the dark. The most powerful moments of our lives happen when we string together the small flickers of light created by courage, compassion, and connection and see them shine in the darkness of our struggles.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Brené Brown

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No One Understands You and What To Do About It by Heidi Grant Halvorson

We seldom are perceived the way we see ourselves or the way we want to be perceived.

Contrary to popular belief, our facial expressions are not always readable, our emotions are not that obvious and we don’t communicate as much as we think we do.

No One Understands You and What To Do About It by Heidi Grant Halvorson #books #bookreviews #communication #skills #communicationskills #selfimprovement #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

Guided Perceptions

There are many heuristics and assumptions that guide our perceptions and create inaccurate interpretations of people.

Assumption #1: The confirmation bias

Some people look at you and see what they expect to see, taking into account the stereotypes of the groups to which you belong, your culture and their past experiences with you.

Assumption #2: The primary effect

Other people forme their perceptions of you using their initial impression of you.

With this assumption, first impressions are lasting impressions.

Assumption #3: Stereotypes

Stereotypes are the beliefs about categories of people to “better understand” them.

Assumption #4: The halo effect

The halo effect is the belief that someone, with one powerful positive trait, has a lot more positive traits.

Assumption #5: The false-consensus effect

The false-consensus effect is the belief that others think and feel the same way that we do.

The Two Phases of Perception

There are two phases of perception that exist in every interactions: Phase 1 or System 1 and Phase 2 or System 2.

Phase 1 or System 1 is the automatic and effortless ability to recognize strong emotions in someone’s facial expression and voice, to identify, categorize and interpret a given behavior, to attach that given behavior to “some aspect of your personality, character or abilities”.

First impressions are made in Phase 1.

Perception often stops at Phase 1 and people, being busy, tend to rely heavily on heuristics and assumptions.

Phase 2 or System 2 is the ability, through complex and effortful mental operations to get a complete and accurate understanding of someone, by taking into account additional factors about yourself.

This effort has to purposefully be motivated by an attention-grabbing circumstance.

Distortion of The Phases of Perception

The level of trust, the possession of power and the size of the ego tend have an impact on these phases of perception.

However, these distortions can be averted by understanding the circumstances and the wanted results of each interaction.

The level of trust

Most of the time, people are not just trying to make assumptions about you but are trying to find out unconsciously if they can trust you, especially in the workplace: are you a friend or a foe?

The decision to trust is made unconsciously in Phase 1 of perception and depends on the way that you project warmth and competence.

To increase trust to the people around you:

  • Convey warmth indirectly by giving subtle but genuine complements, by providing assistance whenever you can, by showing interest in others feelings and thoughts.
  • Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging someone else’s perspective.
  • Manifest your trust in people first by being cooperative, talking about your vulnerabilities and challenges.
  • Transmit competence by making eye contact while speaking.
  • Show will power by showing self-control.
  • Avoid overconfidence by showing modesty and restraint.
  • Adopt a power pose in order to take up most of the space, to signal your competence.
  • Emphasize your potential for greatness and for success.

The possession of power

Having more or less power changes the impressions that we form about one another.

Powerful people tend to be overwhelmed with responsibilities and have no time to spare, to be focused on their goals, rely heavily on stereotypes to categorize people, stay stuck in Phase 1 of perception.

Furthermore, the sad truth is that powerful people don’t pay much attention to less powerful people.

To get noticed by powerful people and to increase your influence:

  • Be instrumental to their success.
  • Find out how you can align your. objectives with those of the powerful.
  • Ease their burden.
  • Anticipate their needs and challenges.
  • Avoid complementing them because they don’t care.

The size of the ego

Perception is distorted by the size of the ego in such ways that you must come out on top, feeling good about yourself.

Your ego has the purpose of protecting and enhancing your self-esteem.

To control the way people perceive you through their ego, you will need to:

  • Help people enhance their self-esteem.
  • Evaluate the threat that you and your abilities pose to your colleagues.
  • Be humble about your accomplishments, past and current difficulties. Avoid tooting your own horn, playing dumb or acting like someone else.
  • Affirm other people by praising them and their achievements.
  • Avoid stereotyping other people.

The eager reward seekers and the vigilant risk mitigators

The safety and security of our personal situations also poses a threat to our perceptions of people, of our colleagues and of our career.

On one hand, the eager reward seeker looks for opportunities everywhere, are effective, risk takers, rule breakers, adventurers, optimistic, motivated, innovative and often creative.

Unfortunately, eager reward seekers are prone to fail and to underestimate problems.

On the other, the vigilant risk mitigators see danger everywhere they go, are vigilant, risk averse, reliable, thorough and deliberate, prone to analytical thinking and self-doubt.

To get the best of both types of people, simply adapt your language to each of them by making one see a potential for gain and the other a cautionary plan.

The clingy, anxious and the aloof, avoidant

The need for closeness shapes our relationship with others.

The clingy and anxious people tend to have low self-esteem, need validation, constantly seek closeness and are worried that the people that they have built a relationship with will leave them, see injuries and slights where there aren’t, fear rejection.

To accommodate them, practise empathy, don’t take it personally, clarify your speech, stay reliable to this person.

The aloof and avoidant people don’t foster close relationships but instead maintain emotional distance.

To accommodate them, don’t take their behaviour personally, restraint your own warmth, give them time to open up.

Correcting bad impressions and fighting misunderstandings

Finally, to correct bad impressions and start over on the right track, you can exhibit attention-getting evidence of the contrary evidence of you so they can notice and cannot deny reality.

You can also force people to revisit their opinion of you by making them feel that their judgement is unfair or unequal.

Finally, you can make people depend on you and need you to reach their goals.

Review

No One Understands You and What To Do About It by Heidi Grant Halvorson is a great self-development book that explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood and gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.

Every single conclusion that Halvorson draws is scientifically researched and illustrated with probing examples.

This book is intended for people who have made past mistakes with people and want to correct them.

It was absolutely hard to read because Halvorson revealed hard truths, reminded me of the stereotypes that pursue me on a daily basis and that keep interfering with my goals, forces me to question myself and my behavior.

In addition, this book made me more self-conscious about my presentation to the world and my decisions, more aware that first impressions are critical, that most people don’t think the same way I do, react the same I do, or perceive me the same way I do.

Furthermore, No One Understands You and What To Do About It was also cathartic and purging, helped me become a better judge of others, understand that the way people treated me in the past was not my full responsibility.

In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explains how perceptions are born, describes a set of stereotypes and assumptions that affect how people perceive you, the different ways for correcting bad impressions and for overcoming misunderstandings.

Favorite quote(s)

Studies show that while very strong, basic emotions—surprise, fear, disgust, and anger—are fairly easy to read, the more subtle emotions we experience on a daily basis are not.
You are never really starting from scratch with another person, even when you are meeting him or her for the first time. The perceiver’s brain is rapidly filling in details about you—many before you have even spoken a word. Knowing this gives you a sense of what you’ve got going for you and what you might be up against. And the more you can know in advance about your perceiver’s likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses, the better equipped you will be to anticipate what’s being projected onto you.

The benefits of projecting trustworthiness (and the costs of failing to do so) are Enormous, particularly in the workplace. Studies show, for instance, that the willingness to share knowledge with colleagues—a sticking point in most large organizations—is strongly predicted by feelings of trust among employees.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Heidi Grant Halvorson

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#ENTRYLEVELTweet by Heather R. Huhman Taking Your career from classroom to cubicle

140 tweets…

140 inspiring tweets that give out helpful job searching tips to newly college graduates.

#ENTRYLEVELTweet by Heather R. Huhman Taking Your career from classroom to cubicle #books #bookreviews #interview #jobinterview #careeradvice #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

There are tweets for people who wish to identify and highlight their professional strengths.

There are tips for graduates who are applying for different jobs, scheduling job interviews, crafting efficient resumes, cover letter and any other tools necessary to get the job.

These tweets relate also networking and creating relationships with hiring managers.

For example, being present on various social media and using your profile in order to connect directly with the hiring managers is a skill that can be acquired.

Other soft skills such as managing different job offers without burning bridges and navigating office politics and making a lasting good impression on your boss and coworkers are introduced.

Review

#ENTRYLEVELTweet by career expert Heather R. Huhman is a fast and easy read and gathers both practical and motivational tips that, I believe, can be helpful to boost your job search.

#ENTRYLEVELTweet by career expert Heather R. Huhman is intended for newly college graduates with absolutely no idea how to transit from the classroom to the cubicle.

Heather R. Huhman is the founder and president of Come Recommended.

Introduced to the working sphere without guidance, she is adamant about helping recent graduates to launch their career.

I wish that there would be more practical illustrations and detailed tweets on how to navigate office politics.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quotes

Tweet 2 Others, namely your parents, will “strongly encourage” you to take the first job you’re offered out of college

Tweet 5 Don’t beat yourself up for not making the right choice at first—most of us don’t!

Tweet 52 If you have large gaps in your résumé due to removing all unrelated positions, include them in Additional Experience. No bullets.

Tweet 112 Read industry publications and blogs. It’s important to keep up with the news and latest trends in your industry.

Tweet 131 If you are not entirely certain you understand what your supervisor wants when he or she has given you an assignment, speak up!

Tweet 132 Become the go-to person for something in the office, whether it’s building PowerPoint presentations or navigating social media.

Tweet 133 Keep your opinions to yourself, and be aware of negative “types” in the office. Don’t partake in gossip!

Ratings: 3/5

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