Find Your People By Jennie Allen

We stay stuck in the routines of our lives.

We don’t connect with others, we seclude ourselves for self-protection and stay within the social circles we are comfortable with.

Yet we remain unsatisfied with our lives and wonder whether or not life is supposed to be this way.

Yet we wonder how to find our community, our people, the ones who will fight for us and who are worth fighting for.

Find Your People By Jennie Allen #relationships #books #bookreviews #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

What is a Community?

Community is more then friendships.

Community is a way of life and is essential to living a fulfilled life.

In addition, the sense of community is based on the truths that people are the best and most painful part of our lives.

Your Community is made of non toxic people who see you, know you and who are willing to be seen and known by you.

Principles for Community

Community is necessay.

Needing other people is not a weakness but a strength.

There are 5 principles to building a healthy Community.

1. Proximity

The principle of Proximity relates to a need for intimacy and physical closeness.

To create Proximity, you can start noticing people in your vecinity and initiating the friendship even if you get frustrated.

2. Transparency

Closeness leads to Transparency.

However, you will only be as close as you are transparent and vulnerable.

3. Accountability

When we are left alone, we tend to become the worst versions of ourselves.

That is why Community has the potential to make us better and keep us accountable.

Indeed, Community makes us more effective, challenges us to aim higher, sharpens the mind and speaks truth.

4. Shared purpose

Most communities are built around a bigger and common mission.

Communities give the opportunity to do something meaningful and exciting.

5. Consistency

Communities provides healthy and consistent relationships.

Usually, people aren’t because they don’t want to deal with conflicts.

Nevertheless, conflicts are an inherent part of life.

That is why the people from your Community have to be consistent, choose to stay and be willing to be inconvenienced by your relationship.

To stay consistent, one must:

  • Assume the best because so many offenses are misunderstandings.
  • Seek peace and address a problem directly before it grows.
  • Be quick to apologize and make amends.

Review

Find Your People by Jennie Allen is a faith-based self-help book about building deep community.

Find Your People is destined mostly for extroverts, for people who are hardwired for relationships, for people who are afraid of being alone and of being lonely.

It is also written for those who hope to make deep connection and build an authentic community.

Allen uses her own life experiences and as an example of moving from a space of lack and fear to one of finding the right community.

Indeed, Allen transforms her initial neediness for relationship into a personal strength.

Furthermore, she demonstrates through biblical references that Deep Community is a social necessity and a path to greater success, hope and faith.

It seems like building and keeping that Community requires hardwork but is worth it.

Finally, Allen stressed that there are no perfect people but only the right people for you.

So, go out there and find your people!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

But community is bigger than two or three friends. Community should be the way we live.

We live guarded because we fear someone will use our weakness against us.

No one can be your everything, but everyone has something to say, something to teach you, and something to bring to your life.

Conflict isn’t the enemy to our friendships; conflict is fodder to make them grow. Conflict is inevitable in the kind of deep community we are talking about here.

If we’re going to deal with an offense, it needs to be a real offense. This is my rule on when to address something: don’t react too quickly. So many hurts are just misunderstandings.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Jennie Allen

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Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It By Bob Goff

The term “Ambitions” refers to your goals, dreams, purpose and your desires to achieve success…

Achieving your ambitions is not given to everyone.

It becomes essential to prepare yourself for your dreams, to plan for success and for obstacles.

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It By Bob Goff #dreams #goals #success #book #books #bookreviews #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. Prepare yourself for your dreams

To prepare yourself for your dreams, you have to gain in self-awareness.
Who are you? Where are you? What do you want? These 3 questions will help you identify and pursue your ambitions, gain in confidence and in clarity.

Indeed, before going after your dreams, you must be honest with yourself, understand who you truly are and your motivations for your actions.

You have to look past your fears, failures and negative emotions. What is going on underneath the surface?

To find out where you are going, it is important to assess your current situation so you know what to modify and what to improve on.

Furthermore, to figure out what you want in the long run, you have to look at everything that you have done and curated for yourself so far.

2. Plan for your dreams

Now that you know yourself better, it is time to size up your ambitions and put them into context. Does your ambition have a specific meaning? Does it have a long life shelf? Is it in service to others? Will it create a legacy? Is is feasible?

It becomes detrimental to plan for your dreams and then plan some more.

You don’t have to rush through the process.

Instead, you can identify yourself as a student and be a student of life.

Your curiosity will probe you to ask a lot of questions, especially to the people you admire.

3. Remove potential obstacles

There will be many obstacles in your way but you really have to keep at it. When you think you have remove all obstacles, expect some more.

You may have to explore various opportunities and endure different experiences before attaining your goals.

You will have to learn to find people you trust, to move forward when you fail, to select the right opportunities and to preserve your time and energy.

In addition, you will have to get rid of the habits, limiting beliefs and patterns that hold you back. Needless to say, your fears won’t go away on their own.

In case you fail, plan your response to the failure, admit it and be proud for going after your dreams. Failure happens and you must resist the urge to give up.

4. Act on your dreams

You don’t have it all figured out but now you are more self-aware, knowledgeable about your dreams and have a plan. You can start working on your dreams and downloading them into reality.

To stay on track of your dreams, you have to learn to say no respectfully and effectively.

Then, you can use your current ambition to build up another one and your failures to focus on your next move.

Furthermore, some ambitions are easy to achieve and others aren’t. Acting on your dreams requires that you make yourself available to people and opportunities that fit your ambitions.

To pursue your ambitions, you are going to need a strong community around you to keep you sane and on track.

To find a community, you have to get to know people, take up genuine interest in others and their ambitions, be available and present.

There is no need to compare yourself to others, to seek outside validation or permission. There are a million different ways to achieve your goals.

Review

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It by Bob Goff is written for people who always suspected that there is more to their life, who wish to acquire success principles, to make real moves, who are serious about their dreams and want to advance them.

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It will help you reframe your mindset, especially if you are used to dreaming or having your dreams shut down. It doesn’t have all the answers but definitely motivates and shares good success principles.

Using his personal experiences as support, Bob Goff does not introduce us to new life principles.

However, he provides us with a different, positive and sincere perspective on success that can inspire people.

It is strongly faith-based. Even though your system of belief lies elsewhere, you can always extract valuable principles from this book.

This book will help you get unstuck, on your way to executing your dreams and tending to your own fire.

Never give up on your dreams!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Make no mistake, identifying and pursuing your ambitions is going to take a lot of courage and clarity.

[…]there is massive power in self-awareness. Don’t overlook or underestimate it. It’s not indulgent to spend some time reflecting on your life; in fact, it’s foolish not to.

Life can be delightfully wonderful, and it can also be punishingly difficult.

The path to your ambitions is not one long race; it’s a series of wind sprints that eventually covers the distance of a marathon.

Who you are right now is an accumulation of all you’ve done and all that’s happened to you. Some beliefs have limited you; perhaps you’ll discover more that will launch you.

Ratings 3/5

About the author

Bob Goff

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. By Brad Lomenick

According to Brad Lomenick, in H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle., there comes a time in a leader’s life where he or she has to transform, renew and rediscover himself or herself.

Intentionally or not, leaders develop habits throughout their lives, that dictate their approach to work and to the tasks that they accomplish daily, that take their ideas and turn them into concrete results.

Habits also shape leaders core values and personalities, behaviors and daily actions.

This is why leaders must look at their old leadership habits, invest the time to break bad ones, sustain the good ones, create new ones, and seek to reboot themselves.

It is therefore necessary for leaders to take a decision to implement change within them and within their organization, and for them to be committed to the task.

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. by Brad Lomenick

According to Brad Lomenick, it is foundational for leaders to revisit the motto Humble, Hungry and Hustle.

This mantra categorizes 20 core leadership habits and conveys the right philosophy in order to become a catalyst leader and contemporaneous influencer.

By being humble, leaders are able to discover who they really are. By staying hungry, leaders are able to figure out their of Faith: Prioritize your day so God is first.

BE HUMBLE: “Who am I?”

Leaders, at the beginning of their transformation, have to develop habits of self-discovery, of openness, meekness, conviction, faith and assignment.

1. A Habit of Self-Discovery: Know who you are.

Creating a habit of self discovery signifies that the leader has to purposefully and continually observe, listen, understand and define who he or she is. Self discovery is a never-ending process.

Most leaders identify deeply with their organization and tend to lose their sense of self.

However, they must learn to connect with the organization without merging with it or without changing themself into something else, without creating an illusion of self that will crumble at the first obstacle.

They must know their strengths, weaknesses and values in order to succeed. Their scale of influence will reflect their level of self assessment.

Furthermore, it takes courage to present the true self to the world and bravery to resist the factors that shape us and impose themselves on us.

2. A Habit of Openness: Share the real you with others.

Leaders must learn to be open and vulnerable with their followers and with those closest to them even though the higher they are on the “ladder of influence and power, the more difficult it is to be open”.

Leaders must keep it real and be authentic: they show who they really are with they followers, they don’t hide their weaknesses nor their emotions, and they know what to do with what they have discovered about themselves.

Leaders evaluate their value of connectedness, create deep relationships, are skilled communicators, answer dreaded and difficult questions if they can trust their interlocutor, know how to apologize to those that they have wronged or hurt, have a confidant outside of work that they can rely on and lean on for tough decision.

Leaders are also transparent and can admit when they make a mistake. Of course not everything should be disclosed and not with everyone and less should be discussed the more the circle of influence increases.

3. A Habit of Meekness: Remember it’s not about you.

Developing a habit of meekness leads to quiet confidence, avoid leaders from becoming arrogant and from turning inward while on the path of self discovery.

Indeed, the company culture should not revolve around the leaders, should not seek the leaders approval and should not suffer from their absence.

4. A Habit of Conviction: Know your principles, stick to them and live out your convictions.

Leaders must have conviction, integrity, strong values, strong moral compass, protect their reputation, and stand up for what they believe in, for what us right and against what is wrong.

5. A Habit of Faith: Prioritize your day so God is first.

Taking the habit of putting God first allows to visualize the bigger picture, to stop worrying about the future, to ignore what people are saying, to fulfill a higher purpose, to remain grateful towards God.
Leaders are able to gain spiritual discipline and grow spirituality by speaking and mostly listening to God on a daily basis.

6. A Habit of Assignment.

Pursue your purpose.

Leaders must learn to their innate proclivities to accomplish their assignments and live out a higher calling.

STAY HUNGRY: “Where do I want to go?”

A Habit of Ambition: Develop an appetite for what’s next. Ambition is mist often seen in a negative light and is always associated to a negative adjective. However, ambition is what pushes leaders forward and gives them the will to do better. Leaders have to be careful of how they feed their ambition appetite in order to cultivate healthy work relationships and to fuel other healthy habits.

1. A Habit of Curiosity: Keep learning.

Leaders have to listen more than they speak and ask probing questions.

2. A Habit of Passion: Love what you do.

Passions bond people together, create memories, sustain long-term enthusiasm and zeal.

It is up to the leader to fuel his or her engaged and feed his or her enthusiasm to the organization.

3. A Habit of Innovation: Stay current, creative, and engaged.

Leadership requires innovation, pushes for change and doesn’t need a title nor an official position to initiate change.

Rather it necessitates courage, steadfastness through failures, stamina and an environment for change. Leaders must challenge the status quo, refuse to coast and build habits of exploring new ideas.

4. A Habit of Inspiration: Nurture a vision for a better tomorrow.

Leaders look to the future and hope for a better tomorrow, have a vision for the future that makes work life more enjoyable, motivational, learn to communicate their vision and persuade the crowd.

5. A Habit of Bravery: Take calculated risks.

Leaders confront their fears and push through them, get out their comfort zone and are never comfortable in one position.

HUSTLE: “How will I get there?”

1. A Habit of Excellence: Set standards that scare you.

Leaders must thrive to be the best at what they do and to produce the best effort in order to succeed.

2. A Habit of Stick-with-it-ness: Take the long view.

Success in life requires preparation. Leaders have to resist current movements of instant and uncommon success stories, the pressure to innovate and continually create better and innovative products.
Instead, they have to discipline themselves, learn to be faithful, learn to be grateful and to discern what is important in order to build their legacy.

3. A Habit of Execution: Commit to completion.

Leaders translate their ideas into action, enjoy bringing their actions to fruition, make an effort to deliver the best product without slacking off or slowing down.

4. A Habit of Team Building: Create an environment that attracts and retains the best and brightest.

Leaders must invest in their employees, motivate and stimulate them, show appreciation and help them create good relationships with one another.
In addition, because culture building cannot be delegated, leaders must take it upon themselves to create a pleasant work environment for their team, generate positive memories and experiences with their team.

5. A Habit of Partnership: Collaborate with colleagues and competitors to generate a higher revenue or to pursue a higher purpose.

Partners bring new perspectives, new improvements to your organization, a new set of skills and competencies.
Forging alliances requires strategy, intention, thoughtfulness, time and energy.
However, forming relationships with other leaders and partnerships with other organizations is essential, especially when climbing up the ladder.

6. A Habit of Margin: Nurture healthier rhythms.

Leaders must learn to manage their time effectively, to unwind and reset their batteries in order to be more effective.

7. A Habit of Generosity: Leave the world a better place.

Leaders are generous with their time and energy and not only their money. They help others become successful and give without expecting anything in return.

8. A Habit of Succession: Find power in passing the baton.

Leaders have to learn his to let go and continue their legacy by finding their succession.

Review

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle., by Brad Lomenick, is a compelling and insightful self-development book where Brad Lomenick recaps his professional experiences at Catalyst, draws conclusions from his leadership style and allies spirituality with leadership.

Throughout his entire book, Lomenick shares numerous tips on how to become a better leader. He also references several of his peers such as John Maxwell, Stephen Coven and Laura Vanderkam, and divulges alternate leadership tips.

In my opinion, there are two major take-aways from this book:

  • firstly, in order to lead others you have to figure out who you are first. Indeed, people tend to follow you, your personality, your values instead of following your job. Furthermore, you cannot tell others how to behave in certain situations and which route to take if you don’t know which one you would take yourself. Some would say to lead others, first lead yourself.
  • Secondly, in the morning, before checking your emails or drinking coffee, develop a habit of seeking God first.

Favorite quote(s)

But leadership is more than hard work; its habitual work.

In my experience too few leaders recognize the importance of habits in life. One researcher at Duke University, for example, found that more than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day weren’t actual decisions, but habits.1 When you rise in the morning, nearly half of your day will be determined by the patterns you’ve either intentionally created or passively allowed.

Your sense of identity will help determine your scale of influence. Ignore it at your own peril.

Know your own strengths, limitations, and values. Have relational transparency and genuineness. This involves being honest and straightforward, and not playing games or having a hidden agenda. Be fair-minded and do the right thing. Effective leaders solicit opposing viewpoints and consider all options before choosing a course of action. They’re open to the fact that they “may be wrong” and someone else may have the best idea. A true leader has an ethical core and knows the right thing to do.

Leaders must make honesty and trust the standard for their organizational culture.

Never satisfied, but always content is the posture of a properly ambitious leader.

The best leaders are people of integrity and principle who know the difference between principles and preferences. They are willing to stand up for the right things and stand against the wrong things. These leaders value their reputations, their consciences, and their values.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Brad Lomenick

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The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

What is an agreement?

The four agreements come from the Toltec teachings of wisdom. The goal of this book is to make each agreement a habit.

An agreement is:

  • a programming of the mind.
  • a language, a code that helps us understand each other.
  • a belief system that has domesticated us.

It represents the rules that we abide to, that we pass down from generation to generation.

Unfortunately, we have not chosen the agreements that we live by. Most of the time, they have been chosen for us and have existed longer than we have.

The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

The First Agreement

The first agreement is to be “impeccable with your words“. This means that you must be careful of not using words against yourself and others.

Indeed, there is power in the words that you use. Matter of fact, it is the most powerful tool at your disposal. 

You can use your words to create beauty or to wreak havoc.

“What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word”.

What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word. Click To Tweet

Purpose of the agreement

Being “impeccable with your words” helps you suppress any toxicity from your mind, free your mind from fear and doubt, and filter out negativity.

Implementing the agreement

Furthermore, words grow and take root in your mind if you are not careful. So:

  • Be true to yourself.
  • Be careful of the words that you use on yourself.
  • Do not speak against yourself.
  • Avoid gossiping and don’t believe gossip.
  • Accept and love yourself so you can demonstrate love and acceptance toward others.

The Second Agreement

The second agreement is to not “take anything personally”.

Often times, people are preoccupied with their own beliefs, feelings and opinions about themselves that they take out on others.

Even if they insult you directly, it is wise not to take their insult personally.

Purpose of the agreement

This agreement is necessary to avoid burdening yourself with people’s problem, setting “yourself up to suffer for nothing”.

Acquiring this habit will help you free yourself, keep your heart open, see people for who they really are, and be unaffected by fear.

Implementing the agreement

Understand that:

  • All opinions about you are not necessarily true.
  • Opinions about you depends on the person and on their moods.
  • We can choose what to believe and what to agree with.
  • You must trust yourself and don’t need to trust anyone else.

The Third Agreement

The third agreement consists in not making assumptions.

Undeniably, assumptions are not the truth and breeds problems.

Purpose of the agreement

The third agreement will help you build better relationships and increase your communication skills.

Implementing the agreement

To properly implement this agreement:

  • Ask for clarifications rather than making assumptions.
  • Remember that it is OK to ask questions.
  • Collect the right data about people and situations first.
  • Don’t assume that people can read your mind.
  • Ask for what you want, expect yes or no. Understand that you can say yes or no as well.

The Fourth Agreement

This fourth agreement encourages you to always “do you best” and consolidates all previous three agreements.

Purpose of the agreement

Forming the habit of always doing your best will:

  • Save you from harsh self-judgement.
  • Increase your production.
  • Mature your self-love.

Implementing the agreement

Keep in mind that:

  • Your best will fluctuate all the time. It will depend on your mood, on your energy level, on your health and on your situation.
  • You must take action without expecting any rewards. This way, you will be able to enjoy your actions better.

Review

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz provides a very powerful perspective on life. It encourages self-transformation, self-awareness, self acceptance, and the understanding of others.

I found out briefly that The Four Agreements, yet short, is thoughtful and goes straight to the point. It calls out society’s hypocrisy, fear and domestication.

Everyone I know who have read this book has felt elevated. It was therefore hard to resist reading it and I have to say that I did not regret it.

As you read, you will find that you already had the knowledge and the wisdom within you but have been holding it back. You will learn to trust yourself and set yourself free.

Favorite quote(s)

The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.

Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally.

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.

All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.

Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are.

Ratings 4.5/5

Author

Don Miguel Ruiz

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It By Bob Goff

The term “Ambitions” refers to your goals, dreams, purpose and your desires to achieve success…

Achieving your ambitions is not given to everyone. It becomes essential to prepare yourself for your dreams, to plan for success and for obstacles.

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It By Bob Goff #book #books #bookreviews #success #dreams #motivation #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. Prepare yourself for your dreams

To prepare yourself for your dreams, you have to gain in self-awareness.

Who are you? Where are you? What do you want? These 3 questions will help you identify and pursue your ambitions, gain in confidence and in clarity.

Indeed, before going after your dreams, you must be honest with yourself, understand who you truly are and your motivations for your actions. You have to look past your fears, failures and negative emotions. What is going on underneath the surface?

To find out where you are going, it is important to assess your current situation so you know what to modify and what to improve on. 

Furthermore, to figure out what you want in the long run, you have to look at everything that you have done and curated for yourself so far. 

2. Plan for your dreams

Now that you know yourself better, it is time to size up your ambitions and put them into context. Does your ambition have a specific meaning? Does it have a long life shelf? Is it in service to others? Will it create a legacy? Is is feasible?

It becomes detrimental to plan for your dreams and then plan some more.

You don’t have to rush through the process.

Instead, you can identify yourself as a student and be a student of life. Your curiosity will probe you to ask a lot of questions, especially to the people you admire.

3. Remove potential obstacles

There will be many obstacles in your way but you really have to keep at it. When you think you have remove all obstacles, expect some more.

You may have to explore various opportunities and endure different experiences before attaining your goals. You will have to learn to find people you trust, to move forward when you fail, to select the right opportunities and to preserve your time and energy.

In addition, you will have to get rid of the habits, limiting beliefs and patterns that hold you back. Needless to say, your fears won’t go away on their own.

In case you fail, plan your response to the failure, admit it and be proud for going after your dreams. Failure happens and you must resist the urge to give up.

4. Act on your dreams

You don’t have it all figured out but now you are more self-aware, knowledgeable about your dreams and have a plan. You can start working on your dreams and downloading them into reality.

To stay on track of your dreams, you have to learn to say no respectfully and effectively. Then, you can use your current ambition to build up another one and your failures to focus on your next move.

Furthermore, some ambitions are easy to achieve and others aren’t. Acting on your dreams requires that you make yourself available to people and opportunities that fit your ambitions.

To pursue your ambitions, you are going to need a strong community around you to keep you sane and on track. To find a community, you have to get to know people, take up genuine interest in others and their ambitions, be available and present.

There is no need to compare yourself to others, to seek outside validation or permission. There are a million different ways to achieve your goals.

Review

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It by Bob Goff is written for people who always suspected that there is more to their life, who wish to acquire success principles, to make real moves, who are serious about their dreams and want to advance them.

Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It will help you reframe your mindset, especially if you are used to dreaming or having your dreams shut down. It doesn’t have all the answers but definitely motivates and shares good success principles.

Using his personal experiences as support, Bob Goff does not introduce us to new life principles. However, he provides us with a different, positive and sincere perspective on success that can inspire people.

It is strongly faith-based. Even though your system of belief lies elsewhere, you can always extract valuable principles from this book.

This book will help you get unstuck, on your way to executing your dreams and tending to your own fire.

Never give up on your dreams!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Make no mistake, identifying and pursuing your ambitions is going to take a lot of courage and clarity.

[…]there is massive power in self-awareness. Don’t overlook or underestimate it. It’s not indulgent to spend some time reflecting on your life; in fact, it’s foolish not to.

Life can be delightfully wonderful, and it can also be punishingly difficult.

The path to your ambitions is not one long race; it’s a series of wind sprints that eventually covers the distance of a marathon.

Who you are right now is an accumulation of all you’ve done and all that’s happened to you. Some beliefs have limited you; perhaps you’ll discover more that will launch you.

Ratings 3/5

About the author

Bob Goff

 

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You Are A Bad*ss: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life By Jen Sincero

Jen Sincero wrote You Are A Bad*ss: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life at a time when she needed help, wanted to change and to find a deeper purpose.

In her book, Jen Sincero shares a few concepts that will help you become a bad*ss. Which means, you will be able to:

  • Believe in your vision and manifest it.
  • Overcome your fears.
  • Be comfortable with your failures and not feel guilty about your current situation. You will come to the realization that you can do more with your life, that you are capable to do better, that you don’t have to wait for failure or for the perfect situation to get started.
  • Takes risks, live large and understand that you have nothing to lose.
  • Love and forgive yourself.

You Are A Bad*ss: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life By Jen Sincero

The Mind Games You Play With Yourself

Parents, from the day you were born, pass down their beliefs to their children.

The truth is our subconscious mind, filled with beliefs from our childhood, rules our lives.

Unfortunately, those beliefs are limiting and false. However, we don’t know better when we are younger.

Besides, our conscious mind actively jump from one random thought to another, is not in full control of our lives. In fact, our subconscious mind and our conscious mind are constantly in conflict but the subconscious mind always win. To solve that conflict:

  • Become more aware of your subconscious beliefs.
  • Identify what is blocking you from the life you want to live.
  • Invite new positive beliefs into your life.

The Bad*Ass Concept For Purpose & Goal-Setting

Jen Sincero encourages us to believe that there are greater things out there, to get a deeper understanding of your spirituality, to set your goals, to activate the law of attraction and manifest what you want in life.

  • Believe what you want and it will come through.
  • Ask for what you want, act as if you have already received what you have asked for.
  • Keep your thoughts on your goals.
  • Manage your time appropriately. Get organized and stay organized.
  • Create a vision board.
  • Surround yourself with people who will help you become the person you aspire to be and who share your mentality.

How To Become A Bad*ss?

One moment we think we’re feeling fantastic, other times we are feeling real insecure. One must come to conclusion, see themselves the way they want to be, and look at themselves through the eyes of someone you admire.

Discovering your “bad*ssery” is all about finding out who you really are and living our best life. We must get in touch with our inner self, the person we were when we were born and love that person. To become a bad*ass:

  • Identify and appreciate your gifts and talents. Everyone is unique and has unique gifts.
  • Share your talents and gifts with the world. 
  • Rewire your brain with positive affirmations and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. At some point, you must choose to let go of wrong beliefs and of decisions that hold you back. To identify your fears and negative thoughts, when you are working, observe the type of thoughts when you suddenly stop, when you get discouraged.
  • Do activities that you enjoy.
  • Try new activities and get out your comfort zone.
  • Avoid self-deprecating humor and practice self-love.
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others. Watching someone go after their dream, after what they truly want can make others uncomfortable and trigger insecurities.
  • Forgive yourself for past and future mistakes. You must forgive yourself before you end up hurting yourself.
  • Stay in the present. Take example on animals and babies that are not concerned about the past or the future.
  • Don’t worry about what people think of you.
  • Be responsible for what you say or do.
  • Give more than you take.
  • Learn to be grateful for what you have and what has not yet manifested itself because gratitude trumps fear.
  • Trust your gut. Do what feels right and what interest you in the moment instead of thinking.
  • Always do your best. Your best doesn’t have to perfect.

Review

You Are A Bad*ss: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero is an entertaining, motivational and thoughtful book that encourages you to live your best life and provides a guide map to do so.

You Are A Bad*ss: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life is written for people who are looking to do better, be better and focus on the essentials. It is written for people who refuse to self-loathe, want to change and who want to manifest their purpose.

Furthermore, Jen Sincero makes some great points, is blunt in her delivery yet has an efficient message. She shares relatable topics such as love, purpose, relationship with money, career advancement and what you are willing to do to get ahead.

Matter of fact, her message is all common sense. However, most people are unaware of these principles, forget about them, and forget that what they need is already inside of them.

Jen Sincero keeps it real and positive throughout her book. She places great quotes at the beginning of every chapter and ends every chapter with a call to action to love yourself.

You Are A Bad*ss: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life resembles the principles of The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz in every way.

What this book has to do with being a leader, you ask?

This book is detrimental to leadership and clarifying your principles and core values. Leadership is all about discovering your purpose, the power of your conviction, controlling your subconscious mind, appreciating your strengths and weaknesses.

Let us know what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.

We would be wise to take more of our cues from the beasts and babies.

It’s not that the things and opportunities that we want in life don’t exist yet.
It’s that we’re not yet aware of their existence (or the fact that we can really have them).

You are a badass. You were one when you came screaming onto this planet and you are one now. The Universe wouldn’t have bothered with you otherwise. You can’t screw up so majorly that your badassery disappears. It is who you are. It’s who you always will be. It’s not up for negotiation.

We’re born knowing how to trust our instincts, how to breathe deeply, how to eat only when we’re hungry, how to not care about what anyone thinks of our singing voices, dance moves, or hairdos, we know how to play, create, and love without holding back. Then, as we grow and learn from the people around us, we replace many of these primal understandings with negative false beliefs, fear, shame, and self-doubt.

What you choose to focus on becomes your reality.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Jen Sincero

Confidence Plan — How To Build A Stronger You, Mastering The Practical Skills Of Winning by Tim Ursiny

In Confidence Plan — How To Build A Stronger You, Mastering The Practical Skills Of WinningTim Ursiny believes that building self-confidence does not only rely on positive self-talk, on words of affirmation, on changing our thought patterns or other mental strategies.

To build long-term confidence, Ursiny believes that we also have to develop emotional, behavioral, relational and spiritual strategies.

For Ursiny, confidence is an important factor to fulfilling our dreams, for achieving real success at work and at home, for building and maintaining healthy relationships, for understanding and communicating with others.

Confidence Plan

Recognizing the importance of confidence

Struggling with confidence either means that you suffer from low self-esteem or that you are living, working, breathing in the wrong place. If you have never suffered from lack of confidence, then you have never left your comfort zone.

Needless to say, confidence is the opposite of humility. It is the belief in our abilities to perform, to get results from our performance, in our worth and in our opinion of ourselves.

In addition, we all internal regulator that measures our level of confidence, depending on our successes and failures, that forces us to take action and that can be explained by different factors. We have a level to which we will not allow ourselves to fall or to rise. It is important to identify those levels in order to rewire our expectations and reset our internal regulator.

To recognize the importance of confidence:

  • Learn from adversity. Through resilience, “quality that allows us to pick ourselves back up after experiencing hardship or trauma”, you grow your confidence despite failure.
  • Embrace your past, enjoy your success, get over past failures and learn from your mistakes. People who hide or don’t observe their past tend to repeat the same mistakes and miss out on opportunities.
  • Assess your current abilities, behaviors, habits, blind spots, strengths and weaknesses. Welcome feedback from trusted people around you and make the needed changes.
  • Stay focused on your vision and be optimistic that you are going to get there.
  • Work on your attitude. Attitudes are composed of what we think, how we feel and what we do. And, when all these aspects are aligned, we are more peaceful and more confident. Therefore, to constantly adjust your attitude:
    • Watch your self talk, reward positive thinking and remind yourself of your own competencies.
    • Take time off for yourself, enjoy the company of your friends and family.
    • Practise future behaviors in fictional situations.
  • Identify the motivations for reaching your goals and take the steps to grow.

Challenging personal comfort zones

The way we perceive ourselves or a situation can seriously impact our confidence. To challenge your personal comfort zones:

  • Use different techniques to control your thoughts and to remain present. Some turn to meditation, some to God and others to religion to instill peace of mind.
  • Avoid making snap judgements that create insecurities and that easily lead us into error.
  • Avoid self-fulfilling prophecies and remain optimistic. Sometimes, when we believe that we can achieve something, our subconscious will arrange our actions and behaviors to match that expectation. Believing that good things will come to you will help you live a happier life.
  • Don’t be your own self-critic. Use words of affirmations to motivate you and to reach higher grounds of success.
  • Identify the embarrassing thoughts and seek new ones.
  • Stop negative thoughts from taking root in your mind. For example, use the highly effective rubber band technique:
    • Put a rubber band around your wrist.
    • When negative thoughts come in, snap the rubber band.
    • Tell yourself to stop the thought pattern.
    • Replace the negative thought with a positive one.

Building confidence in failure

Most often, our behavior and emotional response are illogical. To gauge your emotional level of confidence and to gain sight into your emotional core:

  • Evaluate your behavior in stressful situations and your relationship with compliments.
  •  Start journaling.
  • Take responsibility for your feelings about yourself and about how others make you feel, for your successes and failures.
  • Avoid  negative opinions and hypothesis about people and yourself. You will end up attributing negative connotations to every single one of their behaviors and only confirming what you already belive.
  • Don’t allow past hurts to define your future.
  • Use visualization techniques and your 5 senses to deepen your confidence, your emotional core, to increase self-control and resilience.

Understanding the limits of self-confidence

Fears have a knack for decreasing our confidence. To understand the limits of self-confidence:

  • Act more confidently so you can become more confident.
  • Identify what drains you and what fills you up with energy. We usually feel stressed when there are elements out of our control because we feel less powerful than we think we are. To feel better, shift your focus on things that you can control.
  • Identify the goal to grow your already existing confidence. Then, stop and measure your progress.
  • Identify your fears then face your fears by gradually desensitizing and exposing yourself to them. “Confidence is not the absence of fear” but means that “fear has no control over you”.
  • Avoid procrastination. Procrastination tends to intensify our fears.
  • Expose yourself to embarrassment more often.

Building confidence through the 5 approaches

The culture and the people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our self-confidence. To grow your confidence through mental, emotional, behavioral, relational and spiritual strategies:

  • Identify people who drain your confidence, that judge your abilities and capabilities. Assess their actions, learn to deal with them effectively or learn to repair the relationships.
  • Find out whether or not you are draining someone else.
  • Create and increase your support system that defines your social identity. In this support system, we feel more comfortable being ourselves.
  • Consider how conflicts impact your confidence. Conflicts are born from prejudices, stereotypes and differences in opinion. Firstly, center yourself around your own opinion in order not to be threatened by someone else’s or to become defensive. Secondly, build relationships that promotes trust and loyalty.
  • Forgive and give back to your community to help you grow.
  • Invite feedback from people you trust and respect.

Transcending self-confidence

To find our higher levels of confidence, we must believe that there is something bigger that us and we must tap into our spiritual being. To transcend your self-confidence:

  • Identify your purpose and higher calling. This way, you won’t accept environments and position that don’t satisfy you or that don’t play to your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Examine how you can bring significance to your work, what you want to be remembered for, that mark you want to leave on earth.
  • Practise what you preach.
  • Develop a deeper relationship with God.
  • Build a personal mission statement.

Review

Confidence Plan — How To Build A Stronger You, Mastering The Practical Skills Of Winning, by Tim Ursiny, is written for those who want a better life for themselves, a more positive vision of life, or to assess their level of confidence. It is also written for those with low self-esteem and for those who struggle with self-confidence.

Confidence Plan — How To Build A Stronger You, Mastering The Practical Skills Of Winning is transformational and can be used in our professional life as much as our personal life. Through his book, through immediate practical exercises, Tim Ursiny seeks to impact people long-term.

Tim Ursiny provides us with timely, implementable exercises that you can work on, on a daily basis. You can work on the exercises in six weeks or you can work at our own pace. It is therefore necessary for you to select the techniques and sections of the book that speak the most to you.

Favorite quote(s)

In any situation where two people are competing with relatively similar skills, the more confident person will always succeed at a greater level.

The way we view a situation can have serious ramifications. Our perceptions will often dictate what we do, how we feel, and how we interact with others.

Our minds are capable of processing a huge amount of information. This is both a plus and a minus concerning whether this information aids us or hurts us.What goes on in our minds has a powerful impact on our confidence and our behavior. Having the wrong stuff in our heads is dangerous to our success.

We cannot control what others say to us, but we definitely can impact and change what we say to ourselves.

One form of conflict is a result of prejudice and stereotypes

No matter how confident we are, no matter how successful we become, no matter how powerful we feel, there is something bigger than us.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Tim Ursiny

Purchase

Tim Ursiny

authorTim Ursiny, PhD, is the president and founder of Advantage Coaching & Training. Tim Ursiny is also the Author of the Confidence Plan — How To Build A Stronger You, Mastering The Practical Skills Of Winning.

The Importance Of Fairness In Leadership

Not everything is fair in life or in the workplace. Sometimes promotions are passed by to someone who doesn’t deserve it but that is the boss’s best friend.

Sometimes someone spreads an absurd rumor about you, gets away with it and you and your career suffer the consequences of that rumor.

Other times, the boss takes credit for your hard work or you did not get a raise despite your hard work.

It even appears that unfair and unscrupulous people are thriving in the world of today. It makes us envy them and makes us want to become like them. Nonetheless, there is room for everyone.

Furthermore, fairness and a democratic leadership style are more and more required in the workplace because millennials don’t respond otherwise. That is why leaders, more than others, need to work on their character, lead by example and instill fairness in the workplace.

Wondering how to deal with lack of fairness in the workplace and most importantly apply fairness as a leader?

The Importance Of Fairness In Leadership

Being fair means being appropriate, just, free of favoritism, impartial with everyone, treating people with basic human rights. Fairness is based on someone’s cultural background, religious affiliation, cognitive biases/dissonance and prejudices, promotes healthy workplace culture. It repels the effects of negativity, prevents abuse of power and of justice, is contagious and promotes self-accountability.

Fair leadership doesn’t use power to make arbitrary and personal decisions, earn the trust and loyalty of their employees, lets everyone voice their opinion equally, receive and give the same amount of respect.

Fair leadership is the hardest and longest way but is the most profitable and most rewarding in the long run. In that case, fairness should be the tool that should drive any decision and settle any discussion.

However, there are downsides to being a fair leader. Fair leaders are not viewed as powerful and though enough to make hard decisions, to reward and punish effectively. Having a strong moral compass, core values and firmly believing that what goes around comes around can enable deep friendships but can block opportunities. Therefore, even though they are well respected, they don’t always get promoted to higher ranks.

Dealing with lack of fairness in the workplace

When a situation is unfair, when social norms, rules and beliefs are not respected, people tend to innately react emotionally, to feel punished, to justify their emotions and  to form definite opinions on whether something is wrong or right, good or bad.

Also, when a workplace is not fair, employees and leaders underperform, rely heavily on politics and employees are not gratified by their own merits.

Dealing with unfairness, especially coming from your boss and leader, is not easy. Especially, because we spend most of our waking hours with people who are not related to us, with people who are occasionally dysfunctional, with people who don’t have our best interest at heart or with people who simply compete with us.

That being said, the experience of unfairness can strengthen you or defeat you. It is how you react to it that will define your path in life, the outcome of the situation and potentially bring you closer to your goal.

To deal with lack of fairness the best way possible:

  1. Keep your self-discipline, self-respect and integrity in check. Don’t start lashing out, starting personal vendetta and neglecting your work because things are not going your way. Business is independent from emotions.
  2. Seek understanding of the situation. The situation will probably seem fairer if the reasons are legitimate.
  3. Remember your worth. Sometimes, when we are not promoted, we tend to immediately question our competencies, strengths and contribution within the organization. That is why it necessary to know yourself, your core values, your strengths and weaknesses, write them down and pull out that piece of paper in difficult times.
  4. Remember that you are responsible for your own welfare and happiness. At the end of the day, life is too short to be treated poorly and unfairly. If you see no improvements, it’s time to quit.
  5. Don’t let unfair situations make you give up on your goals. There are other opportunities that will present themselves.
  6. Take unfair events as a challenge, as a learning experience or as practice, and learn to overcome life obstacles.
  7. Don’t complain about your circumstances and don’t blame your circumstances on everyone else. Find way to grow and do better.
  8. Break the cycle of negativity, include fairness in your decision-making process and don’t reproduce unfair experiences on someone else. Even though life isn’t fair to you, it is better to remain fair to everyone else because you must avoid making the world a worst place and you don’t know what the other person is going through.

How to regulate an unfair situation and normalize fairness in the workplace?

The judgement of King Solomon, in the Bible [1 Kings 3:16-28], is a probing and famous display of fairness. Two women each conceive a baby at the same time, in the same place. At night, one of these women goes to sleep, rolls on her baby and kills it. The other woman rest her newborn on her chest and then goes to sleep. Later on that night, the first woman, noticing that her child was dead, took the other woman baby. The latter, aware of the trickery, brought the former in front of King Solomon. King Solomon sentenced that they should divide the baby in two and by the reaction of the two women, discovers who is the true mother of the child.

Having a firm but fair leader is idealistic even biblical. After an employee emotional reaction to unfairness, it is detrimental to the leader to:

  • Inform them of their behavior and get informed on the reasons of their behavior. Then, give them the time to work on themselves, to change the behavior.
  • Establish rules of ethics and performance for your employees.
  • Avoid letting problems fester longer than they should and forgive honest mistakes.
  • Constantly exercise and expect fairness. When people see leaders applying this system, they tend to replicate it.
  • Demonstrate trust and loyalty from day one.
  • Lead by example and model fairness in the organization from top to bottom to encourage positive changes, respect, accountability.
  • Advocate for their employees and not favor your employees.
  • Remain transparent, especially during performance reviews and encourage whistle-blowers.
  • Stay humble in order to accept upward feedback from employees.
  • Avoid gossip and nip negative rumor in the bud.
  • Provide a safe space at all times for employees to expose their grievances. Get all sides of a conflict, before making a decision. Keep in mind, making the perfect fair decision is impossible because we don’t have access to all the information.
  • If competing, fight clean, win fair and square.

Just remember, Nature Is Fair And, Sooner Or Later, Always Gives You What You Deserve!

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Brad Lomenick

author

Brad Lomenick is a renowned speaker, leadership consultant, longtime president of Catalyst and author of H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.