6 Ways Leaders Get Out Of Their Feelings

They say, when you get to work, leave your feelings at the door.

I mean, that’s what they say…

In the workplace, most conflicts exist because of a gap in values.

Indeed, at work, you rub elbow with people who don’t necessary have the same values as you do.

Conflicts can simply result in one’s definition of work ethic or quality of work.

For instance, your feelings can easily be hurt by some people are less efficient and need extra hours, some are workahalics and do it for the love of work, some don’t care about the job or the work they put out…

In addition, your feelings can also be hurt by short deadlines or the way someone talk to you.

Leaders have different ways of getting out of these feelings.

1. They remember who they are

They don’t get lost in the drama of their feelings.

Instead, they separate themselves from their work.

Even if their feelings have been hurt at work, they separate their identity from their work.

2. They take responsibility

They realize that they are responsible only for themselves and for how they feel.

They acknowledge that they can only control of themselves.

3. They confront themselves and the situation

Confrontation always has the negative connotation of conflict, drama and unresolved issues.

However, confrontation can also be facing the situation head on and examining the situation for what it is.

You don’t necessarily have to go face to face with someone to solve an issue especially when we’re talking about values:

  • You may have to confront yourself and ask yourself why you are feeling these feelings.
  • You may have to assess the situation and ask yourself why is this situation triggering these emotions.

4. They stay on goal

One way leaders get out of their feelings is by having solid and clear goals that will keep them focused on something other than themselves.

5. They use humour

Leaders who have a sense of humour take life with a grain of salt and have a tendency to get out of their feelings faster than

6. They use affirmations

Words of affirmations remind people of who they are and who they want to be.

They remind leaders of the principles that they

Last Words Of Advice

Don’t forget to use your relationships, your hobbies, your favorite activities or exercise to help you shift your mindset.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

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12 Things Leaders Do That Demotivate Their Team

Through their actions and decisions, leaders highly impact your overall job experience.

For the most part, they are responsible for your motivation, responsibilities, career prospects, work-life balance, engagement and alignment.

Wondering how leadership can demotivate teams?

12 Things Leaders Do That Demotivate Their Team #motivation #remoteworking #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

Motivation is the combination of traits that drive someone to achieve their goals.

Therefore, demotivation occurs when there is a significant loss of drive, eagerness or willingness to do the work.

The loss of motivation mostly translates itself into:

  • Increased absenteeism,
  • Long lunches and breaks during working hours,
  • Unprofessionalism, distraction and disconnection from the job,
  • Distance and disconnection from others,
  • Desire to distract others.

Unfortunately, toxic leaders are often the cause of said demotivation.

1. Toxic leaders are closed to new ideas

Not only are they closed to new ideas, they will gladly criticize and shut others down.

Furthermore, they do not embrace change. They will usually think that they know best and will follow through on bad ideas despite the evidence of the contrary.

2. Toxic leaders encourage toxicity

They let bad behavior go unchecked.

Illegal behaviors such as toxic competition, sexual harassment, prurient curiosity, invasion of privacy, racism, sexism and discriminatory speeches are ignored, celebrated and are embedded in the company culture.

3. Toxic leaders don’t lead by example

They avoid engaging in difficult tasks or challenging conversations.

They also behave poorly but get away with it because they have the power to do so or because human resources turn a blind eye to their behavior.

4. Toxic leaders pressure their team to meet unrealistic expectations

As a leader, ensuring that your team members meet the bottom line is surely important.

However, employees who cannot meet unrealistic goals tend to get demotivated and quit.

5. Toxic leaders treat their team like a commodity

They feel free to disrespect their team members, take advantage of people or play with their team like pawns.

They also feel free to fire people or demonstrate that they are replaceable.

Demotivated perform at their minimal best but not because they lack discipline.

6. Toxic leaders are in constant competition

Competitive and jealous leaders have huge egos and very low self esteem.

In this scenario, high performers tend to go unrecognized and unrewarded.

Even worse, their ideas are stolen and their achievements ignored.

7. Toxic leaders micromanage

Leaders who micromanage lack trust in the abilities of their team members.

They don’t allow their team to make or correct mistakes.

8. Toxic leaders don’t listen

Bad leaders don’t listen to anyone or anything.

By doing so, they don’t understand their team members potential and don’t adapt projects to them.

The reality is that when teams don’t feel heard, they ultimately get demotivated.

9. Toxic leaders don’t believe in work relationships

They are unaware of their team members responsibilities.

Leaders who don’t work on a relationship with their team members rarely notice when a team member gets demotivated.

10. Toxic leaders don’t communicate objectives

When teams don’t see the bigger picture or feel like they are in the loop, they become unable to measure their performance, involvement and their impact.

11. Toxic leaders brew conflict

They pit employees one against the other, play favorites and treat others unfairly.

That way, while employees are occupied fighting, nobody has the time they question their poor leadership.

In that case, motivation is lossed and employees usually quit.

12. Toxic leaders are not flexible

They don’t allow remote working and don’t encourage a healthy work-life balance.

They are oblivious to the fact that motivated teams contribute twice as more than demotivated ones.

Last Words Of Advice

People don’t leave jobs, they leave terrible leaders.

destroy.


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Quote Of The Week #280

Quote Of The Week #280 Feelings are much like waves we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which ones to surf #journeytoleadership #discipline #emotions #emotionaldiscipline #quotes #quoteoftheweek journeytoleadershipblog.com

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Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter by Robert Bruce Shaw

Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter by Robert Bruce ShawAccording to Robert Bruce Shaw, in Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter, great leadership emanates from an ability to make great decisions which comes from making bad decisions and learning from them. The sooner in your career that those bad decisions are made, the better.

Of course, you make fewer mistakes as you progress in your career and as you experience the outcomes of the mistakes, but you never stop making them. In addition, mistakes are more costly as you move up the ladder in a company and can potentially derail your career.

In light of this issue, in Leadership Blindspots, Robert Bruce Shaw investigates the existence of leadership blindspot, an “unrecognized weakness or threat that has the potential to undermine a leader’s success” and that becomes evident in the way your team, organizations and markets are perceived.

How to characterize leadership blindspots?

First of all, leadership blindspots  are often associated to leadership strengths. They appear whenever the leader is utilizing his or her strengths at work.

Second of all, blindspots don’t disappear, even if you are fully aware of them.

Thirdly, blindspots are situational, adaptive and can be helpful.

And finally, blindspots are able to impact other people and followers.

Advice for understanding and dealing with leadership blindspots?

Furthermore, blindspots come with a price and has to be recognized by the leader in order for him or her to find a balance.

To do so, leaders have to weigh two conflicting needs:

  1. their need for acting with confidence, believing strongly in their vision, and having faith in themselves, their abilities.
  2. their need for assessing their limitations in order to avoid overconfidence or excessive optimism.

The complex balance between self-confidence and self-doubt is unnatural, contradictory but necessary, depends on each individual and each situation.

If there are too many blindspots, the leader can be overly confident and arrogant. If there are too few blindspots, the leader is somewhat realistic about the obstacles to face, is aware of his or her strengths and weaknesses.

Are there different levels of blindness?

There are three levels of blindness that a leader could experience:

  1. Lack of awareness level. This is the “most extreme form of a blindspot”. At this level, leaders are constantly surprised or blindsided by events.
  2. Faulty assessment level. At this level, leaders are in denial: they refuse to acknowledge risks, to analyze known weaknesses, and to understand the causes and consequences of their blindspots.
  3. Failure to act level. At this level, leaders know the risks, threats and weaknesses that lay ahead but fail to act on them for lack of skills and resolve. Those leaders are adept to the rule “when in doubt, do nothing” or rather remain in their comfort zones.

How to identify your leadership blindspots? 

In order to identify your blindspots:

  1. Review your past and present mistakes. Mistakes are indicative of blindspots, areas of lack of self-awareness, and areas of faulty patterns of thinking and behavior. It is advised  to identify the most significant mistakes, their causes, patterns of behavior and thinking associated to these mistakes and the actions to be taken on the behalf of the leader to prevent those mistakes from reoccurring.
  2. Consider honest and useful feedback from your trusted advisors.
  3. Gain additional insight by taking the blindspot assessment survey.

Then, question the relative importance of your blindspots in your career and its impacts on yourself, the organization to  distinguish which blindspot requires your immediate attention.

What are the different types of leadership blindspots?

Robert Bruce Shaw has classified leadership blindspots in 20 categories:

  1. “Overestimating your strategic capabilities”
  2. “Valuing being right over being effective”
  3. “Failing to balance the what with the how”
  4. “Not seeing your impact on others”
  5. “Believing the rules don’t apply to you”
  6. “Thinking the present is the past”
  7. “Failing to focus on the vital few”
  8. “Taking for granted your team model”
  9. “Overrating the talent on your team”
  10. “Avoiding the tough conversations”
  11. “Trusting the wrong individuals”
  12. “Not developing real successors”
  13. “Failing to capture hearts and minds”
  14. “Losing touch with your shop floor”
  15. “Treating information and opinion as fact”
  16. “Misreading the political landscape”
  17. “Putting personal ambition before the company”
  18. “Clinging to the status quo”
  19. “Underestimating your competitors”
  20. “Being overly optimistic”

Which factors trigger blindspots?

Blindspots often go hand in hand with the leader’s strengths and reappear unexpectedly when the leader does what he or she does best.

There are few factors that lead to blindspots areas:

  1. Experience gaps“. The blindspot stems from a lack of experience or from a habit of using past experiences to extrapolate a present situation.
  2. Information overload” describes an inability to pay attention to everything that is happening when engaged in a complex and challenging task.
  3. Emotional bias” corresponds to an emotional involvement in a particular situation or outcome that clouds judgement.
  4. Cognitive dissonance” is a psychology term associated to a state in which leaders hold two conflicting views of their self-image. The “conflict is resolved through rationalizing one’s belief or actions in a manner that sustains one’s positive self-image” which reinforces the blindspot.
  5. “Misaligned incentives” are compensation systems that are “designed to focus attention and effort within an organization, with the result being that people focus more on some areas than on others”.
  6. Hierarchical distortion”. The information transmitted to hierarchy becomes distorted, false, incomplete because:
    • high-ranking leaders are sometimes detached from the lower levels of the organization.
    • subordinates tend to sugarcoat information by deference or by fear of retaliation.
    • high-ranking leaders pay less attention to less powerful people.
  7. Overconfidence“. Leaders overestimates their own capabilities, skills and knowledge.

How to overcome blindspots?

According to Robert Bruce Shaw, it is not possible to completely suppress blindspots but it is important to recognize them and find ways to work with them?

To handle blindspot:

  1. Make an assessment of the problem on your own, stay on contact with frontliners, customers, markets and high potential individuals.
  2. Invest in metrics, processes and data that challenge the leader’s beliefs and basic assumptions.
  3. Develop an ability to recognize, prioritize blindspot warning signs.
  4. Consider feedback from trusted advisors.
  5. “Leaders need to test their ideas and discuss emerging threats with a diverse team of individuals who respect each other’s experience and abilities but are also willing to push each other to reach the best outcomes on the truly critical issues”.

In conclusion, leaders are flawed individuals with strengths, weaknesses and blindspots that are to be acknowledged. Blindspots often show up when the leader is using his or her strengths or reverts to their comfort zone, and cannot be completely resolved.

It is up to the leader to stay on the lookout for blindspots, to strike up a balance between self-confidence and self-doubt.

Review

indexIn Leadership Blindspots: How Successful Leaders Identify and Overcome the Weaknesses That Matter, Robert Bruce Shaw analyses leadership behaviors when it comes to blindspots and weaknesses. He illustrates every single one of his thoughts on blindspots with great and renown leadership examples and concludes each example with an analysis and lessons to take away. Furthermore, not only this book contains realistic and applicable examples, each paragraph of this book can be read on standalone.

In addition, Robert Bruce Shaw provides us with a tool —the blindspot assessment survey— for us to identify whether or not we possess blindspots and to what degree we have incubated them. I recommend this book to employees who are failing to lead and to boost their careers.

It has come to my knowledge that because of my belief system, I am an adept of the rule “when in doubt, stand still” which has not bothered my career but has increased my serenity. After taking the blindspot assessment test, I have received a low probability of blindspots as I am self-aware of my strengths and of my weaknesses.

Finally, Leadership Blindspots was intriguing to me because there are so many books about leadership strengths and developing them.

I equally appreciated the fact that he mentioned the need for transparency (better visibility of mistakes thanks to the media) which put leaders are under a lot of pressure, all while trying to overcome their blindspots.

Favorite quote(s)

People who are smart and self-assured are often very skillful at justifying their thinking and behavior—to the point of being in denial about their weaknesses and the threats they face. Their intelligence can work against them when they convince themselves, and often others, that they are right even when they are wrong.

Successful individuals who sometimes stumble often do so because they have no one who can protect them from themselves.

The best leaders develop a range of compensating mechanisms that fit their personalities and the company cultures in which they work. In many cases these leaders don’t fundamentally change the way they think, but instead develop warning systems that surface important weaknesses and threats.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Robert Bruce Shaw

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8 Motivating Quotes About Dreams

No matter where you from or what you do in life, you may want to take some time to dream…

You may also want to apply yourself to your dreams and get some things done before regret creeps in.

1. Dreams are the touchstones of our character. – Henry David Thoreau

2. Live the life of your dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others. – Roy T. Bennett

3. Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. – John Ruskin

4. Make sure that you dream big so that whatever you accomplish in your life can be meaningful. – Michael Henson

5. There is nothing like a dream to create the future. – Victor Hugo

6. A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities. – J.R.R Tolkien

7. Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than the one with all the facts. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr

8. Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. – Dale E Turner

Last Words Of Advice

Trust your process!


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8 Ways Great Leaders Deal With Disappointment

Recently, I have made solid plans around an opportunity that didn’t turn out…

Though I didn’t care much about the opportunity, I was frustrated that the plans that I carefully hatched fell through. In order to find out why the opportunity fell off, I had a conversation with a toxic individual who spewed lies and venom and with whom I happened to get out of character. Because I lost my plans for the future and gave away my personal power, I was deeply disappointed in myself and in the circumstances. If you are a trailblazing leader, are goal-oriented or enjoy making plans for the future, these moments happen often and you will face a lot of disappointments in your life. That is why, you simply have to learn to cope with it.

Wondering how leaders overcome disappointment in life?

8 Ways Great Leaders Deal With Disappointment #resilience #adversity #leadership #failure #success #selfesteem

The importance of disappointments

Disappointment is defined as feelings of sadness or displeasure caused by feelings of unfulfilled hope and failed expectations. Sometimes, an opportunity that we wished for just doesn’t turn out; A person we are hoping for doesn’t show up or act right. However, life never goes according to plans. Eventually, you will make new plans, you will realize that not every opportunity is a good opportunity and not everyone is good for you. Feelings of disappointment are hard to get rid off at first but are ephemeral. Those feelings will go away with time. Once you have overcome these feelings, you will finally understand who you truly are, you can grow as a person, become a stronger person, and build up your character.

How to overcome disappointment?

1. Accept your emotions

Disappointment is part of life and everyone will experience it at some point in life. Disappointment can trigger a vast array of emotions that you cannot run away from or cover up. It becomes critical to acknowledge your feelings and find out what exactly triggered it. Refusing to analyze, confront and discipline your emotions can cause long-term damage on your health.

2. Forgive yourself

Learning to forgive yourself is the hardest part of dealing with disappointment because we are grasping our errors and what we “should” have done instead. You are only human. You have made mistakes and you will probably make some more. So, be compassionate with yourself, avoid shifting blame and take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well and exercise.

3. Reframe your mindset

Now, that you have dealt with your raw emotions, it is time to restructure your mindset, improve on yourself, analyze your situation and mentally distance yourself from your past expectations. This is the moment when you get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, when you accept disappointment as a part of life and as a challenge, when you use it to improve yourself and to change the way you have been doing things. While you are reframing your mindset:
  • Monitor your self-talk.
  • Don’t expect to be constantly disappointed because you attract what you think.
  • Practice self control to make better decisions, to nurture healthy thoughts because you are responsible for yourself.

4. Shift your focus

Now that you have reframed your mind, you have to trust that positivity can result from a negative situation and focus on turning your negative situation into a positive one. The best way to keep moving forward and to making the best out of any situation is to  stay busy, positive, focused and on purpose, to focus on your strengths and on who you want to be. You can also find out what you could have done differently and make your goals more achievable.

5. Stay present

Your disappointment happened in the past and it’s time to move on. There is no sense in replaying a situation in your mind over and over again. It becomes detrimental to your health to be present and be grateful for what you currently have. If you cannot remain in the present and keep ruminating, it is best to quickly analyze your feelings until you get closure.

6. Surround yourself with positive people

Disappointment can turn into a burden that can be too heavy for one person. It can be helpful to share your disappointment with people you trust and who care about you. As a general notice:
  • Be careful who you surround yourself with.
  • Stay away from people who constantly disappoint you or who hurt you on purpose.

7. Let go control

In life, you must always remember that you cannot control everything that happens to you or around you. Therefore,
  • Don’t worry about the circumstances outside your control. It won’t change anything.
  • Trust that life has a better plan and solution for you.
  • Remember that there are many more opportunities out there.
  • Don’t get too attached to your plans and expectations.
  • Expect setbacks in life.

8. Grow!

Remember that life is a journey and that every failure brings you closer to your success. We can learn something from every life experience, even from our disappointments.

Last Words Of Advice!

No matter the situation, always maintain your personal power. There is no need to always throw yourself a pity party. Once you have given yourself time to heal and when you get over your feelings of disappointment, you must think about what you could have done differently and implement the new solution the next time you face a similar situation.

Now that you know better, do better!

  Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership! Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.   Subscribe to Journey To Leadership

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28 Quotes On Trust In Leadership

Trust is an essential part of leadership…

In order to make sound decisions, to have a successful business and team, Trust is more than required. It has to be built up and most importantly maintained.

Below, I have compiled a few quotes to illustrate the importance of incorporating trust in the leadership process.

28 Quotes On Trust In Leadership

1. Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.” – Albert Einstein

2. Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

3. I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself. – Robert E. Lee

4. Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. – Stephen R. Covey

5. The glue that holds all relationships together — including the relationship between the leader and the led — is trust, and trust is based on integrity. – Brian Tracy

6. Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live. – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

7. Trust should be earned inherently, without any verbal demands. – Anne Elisabeth Stengl

8. When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective. – Stephen R. Covey

9. It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. – Noël Coward

10. It has always been my contention that an individual who can be relied upon to be himself and to be honest unto himself can be relied upon in every other way. – J. Paul Getty

11. Never trust he who trusts everyone. – Carlos Ruiz Zafón

12. You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. – Abraham Lincoln

13. If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. – Virginia Woolf

14. Peace and trust take years to build and seconds to shatter. – Mahogany SilverRain

15. Without trust we don’t truly collaborate; we merely coordinate or, at best, cooperate. It is trust that transforms a group of people into a team. – Stephen R. Covey

16. Trust is built when someone is vulnerable and not taken advantage of. – Bob Vanourek

17. Trust doesn’t mean that you trust that someone won’t screw up—it means you trust them when they do screw up. – Ed Catmull

18. Leadership is the relentless pursuit of truth and ceaseless creation of trust. – Jack Welch

19. Great teams have trust at the heart of their success. If you don’t trust each other, you’ll play safe. Trust makes it possible to aim higher. To leap further and to know someone has your back if you fall. – Adam Grant

20. A team is not a group of people who work together. A team is a group of people who trust each other. – Simon Sinek

21. Trust starts with trustworthy leadership. It must be built into the corporate culture. – Barbara Kimmel Brooks

22. When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly. – Blaine Lee

23. It’s mutual trust, even more than mutual interest, that holds human associations together. – H. L. Mencken

24. Trust is built with consistency. – Lincoln Chafee

25. When truth takes a backseat to ego and politics, trust is lost. – Patrick Lencioni

26. Because you believed I was capable of behaving decently, I did. – Paolo Coelho

27. Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth; the former course is silly, the latter a mark of prudence. – Democritus

28. You must train your intuition – you must trust the small voice inside you which tells you exactly what to say, what to decide. – Ingrid Bergman

Last Words Of Advice

Trust is a two-way street and is fragile. It takes years to build and a few seconds to destroy.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

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5 Powerful Ways To Find Out Who You Truly Are

When you know who you are, you immediately become confident and feel empowered.

Indeed, you stop looking for external validation.

You start experimenting and looking for validation from only yourself.

Wondering how to figure out who you are?

5 Powerful Ways To Find Out Who You Truly Are  #authenticity #selflove #selfesteem #selfdevelopment #leadership #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. Take an assessment test

Sometimes, you just don’t know where to start.

The good news is that there are several self-assessment tools out there to help you figure out who you are, your personality type, your core values, your strengths and weaknesses.

2. Take time off

Leaders have been conditioned through their role to take care of everyone else.

Taking time off in solitude does wonder for self-care, self-awareness and leadership development.

Solitude scares most people because they lack the courage to confront themselves.

However, only in solitude will you be able to observe yourself, identify all facets of your personality, discipline your thoughts and emotions.

3. Review your life

Writing things down allows you to review your life, keep track of your habits and observe your patterns of behavior.

It also allows you clarify and analyze your thoughts.

In addition, journaling is a great way to extact the essence of who you are and the lessons from past experiences whether they’ve been positive or negative.

4. Explore

Trying new things is a great way to explore and find out what you really like and don’t like, what you’re good or bad at, what feels right or wrong, what fuels your fire or what drains you.

Besides, this will help you acknowledge your differences, set healthy boundaries, become more discerning and do the things that you really want to do.

5. Observe your relationships

They say that you are the sum of the 5 closest people to you.

If you pay attention to your relationships, you’ll notice what you share in common and what you are made of.

Furthermore, you’ll notice who you look up to, who you relate to, what you tolerate and what you imitate.

Last Words Of Advice

Remember that an original is more valuable than a copy.


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10 Proven Ways To Shift Perspective

We are often faced with stressful situations in our personal and professional lives…

Unfortunately, perception is reality.

That means that our perception of the situation will most of the time determines our reaction.

Shifting perception doesn’t mean switching viewpoint or distorting the truth but broadening your understanding of all facets of the situation.

Wondering how to shift your perspective?

Perception is a combination of the information collected, your experience and system of belief.

To shift it, there are some steps that you can take.

10 Proven Ways To Shift Perspective #perspectiveshift #positivity #positive #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. Put some distance between you and the drama

Sometimes, we get caught up in negative situations whether we want to or not or we stay in toxic environments longer than we should.

Removing yourself from that environment is the best way to change perspective.

If you are consistently surrounded by negative people, your thoughts will sooner or later become negative.

You may wonder whether you are creating or amplifying the negativity but if you remove yourself from it and it still goes on, you have nothing to do with it.

You probably just got caught up in someone else’s crazy.

2. Change your programming

You must be aware of the type of content that you allow to program your subconscious mind.

If you aren’t able to find the perspective you are looking for, seek out content that comforts you and that is similar to the perspective you wish to achieve or to the attitude you wish to emulate.

You may need to gather different sources of positivity around you like podcasts, books or movies.

3. Pay attention to self-talk

You are in control of your thoughts and of the way you react to situations.

In order to help your self-talk, you can use words of affirmation.

4. Adjust your expectations

Most drama in life comes from having too high expectations for people.

If someone has disappointed you or created unnecessary drama, you need to reset and lower your expectations for them.

5. Limit your time

If you are unable to physically remove yourself from drama, you can limit your time there while attempting to find a solution.

By doing so, you will gradually:

  • Prioritize the essentials.
  • Understand that everything is temporary.
  • Acknowledge that you don’t have to stay in it longer than necessary.

6. Find the lesson

Find the lesson and focus on the positives.

Finding the lesson in a negative situation allows you to look past yourself, to grow and to not be the victim.

7. Take a step back

Sometimes, we create our own drama or participate at some level in someone else’s.

According to Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements, taking someone else’s drama personally will only make things worse.

It then helps to take a step back to gather yourself and to evaluate the situation.

By doing so, you can also make sure that the story you tell yourself isn’t laced with elements of your past.

8. Change your reaction

You may no be able to shift your perspective just yet but you can change your reaction.

The truth is if you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.

So, when faced with a situation that seems consistently challenging, try doing something different.

It may not solve the situation but you will get a different result and therefore gain more perspective.

9. See the bigger picture

Drama and the way we think about it can cause serious repercussions on your life.

Visualizing the bigger picture reframes the negative situation and reduces its impact.

Will this matter in the long run? In 5 days, 5 months or 5 years, will you remember this person or that job?

10. Forgive yourself

Staying in a negative situation, talking to negative people or walking around thinking about negative situation is damaging to your health and will only amplify the drama.

So, take the time to process the negative emotions, forgive yourself for staying in a bad situation for too long and hold on to the glimmer of hope.

Last Words Of Advice!

The circumstances of the situation you are dealing with depend on your perspective and your reaction.

Shifting perspective is a mind trick that allows you to better face challenges and that relies on the principal that you have the power to control your thoughts.


Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

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15 Edifying Experiences That Help Leaders Learn To Lead

The best leaders develop their skills on the field and learn from their experience.

They acknowledge that they do not know everything, that their learning process is singular but they are curious and are open to learn.

It is common knowledge that experience is the best teacher.

Your experiences will help you develop a leadership style, a communication style, core values, purpose, character and emotional discipline.

Wondering how and which experiences can teach you how to lead?

15 Edifying Experiences That Help Leaders Learn To Lead

25 Edifying Experiences That Help Leaders Learn To Lead

Through your experiences, if you take time out to extract the lessons from your experiences, you will become a wiser and successful leader.

#1. When You Fail

At some point in your career, you will fail as a leader or as a person. You will fail to meet deadlines, to perform or to succeed.

However, every leader knows that you cannot let failure define you and that you must go on.

Indeed, failure is most often seen in a negative light but shows you what you are really made of.
Failure are inevitable, are a factor for change, redirects your career, helps you change procedures and your character.

Experiencing failure teaches you to:

  • Be more self-aware.
  • Identify the cues of failure.
  • Don’t punish yourself for failures and forgive yourself.
  • Measure the consequences of the mistakes and take responsibility for the failure.
  • Encourage constructive criticism as much as feedback is given.
  • Make immediate analysis and changes to fix the mistakes.
  • Be smart and learn from the mistakes made.
  • Be wise and learn from the mistakes of others.
  • Create an environment that is safe to make mistakes and to recover from them.

Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward. - John C. Maxwell Click To Tweet

#2. When You Get Familiar With Positivity & Success

Positive experiences are highly memorable and can change your life forever.
Positive attitudes can become difficult to maintain in challenging situations in the workplace. But once acquired, it is a habit that can help you overcome bad situations.

Indeed, positivity ensures progress, diffuses situations, alleviates stress, reduces fear, increases endurance, increase self-esteem, attracts positive results and better opportunities.

There are many ways to bring positivity into the workplace and into your mind.

When you get familiar with positivity and success, you learn to:

#3. When You Promote Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often seen as weakness in the workplace.

However, it is an efficient tool to avoid toxic conflicts, boost productivity, motivation and well-being.

Truthfully, in the workplace, people are sensitive about their work, feelings get hurt easily and emotions get high. It becomes essential to:

  • Forgive yourself when you have wronged someone or yourself.
  • Forgive others for their wrongdoings as well.

Becoming a forgiving person will teach you to:

  • Be compassionate and to let things go.
  • Not define yourself by your mistakes.
  • Not focus on the past and to be present.
  • Do your best next time.

#4. When You Find A Role Model

A role model can be a family member, a friend, a coworker, or another leader.
Role models provide sound advice, ongoing feedback, emotional support, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, higher self-esteem, better focus, stronger confidence.

Emulating their thoughts and behavior can improve your mind and teach you how to lead.

Keep in mind that you can learn from a bad leader as much as a good leader.

#5. When You Enjoy Solitude

Solitude and leadership often go hand in hand.

That is because, though leaders have family, friends, mentors and large network, they are the ones making the ultimate decision for their organization and not everyone will agree with their decisions.

However, solitude can give you time to think, to understand who you are and how you want to lead.

Leadership is also having the power to stand alone.

Leadership is also having the power to stand alone. - Vanessa Sylvester Click To Tweet

#6. When You Find Your Purpose or Renew Your Vision

You need to know why you work and your team needs to know why they work for you.

It is the vision that leads you and propels you forward, that wakes you up in the morning, that drives your performance, that is communicated to your employees, that gives meaning to your actions and decisions, and that leans on your belief systems.

Leaders with a vision are ambitious and satisfied with their lives, become hopeful and optimistic about the future, invite change, and select their employees according to their strengths and not their weaknesses.

They are also daring and don’t fear failure, are emotionally invested in their goals, flexible, persistent, resistant to social pressure and are convinced of their future success.

With purpose, leaders can easily overcome adversity. - Vanessa Sylvester Click To Tweet

#7. When You Have To Chose Being Like Vs. Being Respected

I am sure that at some point, you have realized that you get more things done when your coworkers like you.

However, in these situations, you can quickly become a people pleaser and lose the respect of your coworkers.

There comes a time when you have to decide whether you want to be liked or to be respected.

#8. When You Experience Different Cultures

You have experienced different cultures and are now culturally sensitive.

Cultural sensitivity is being aware that everyone is not the same.

It means being able to learn from different people, to understand their backgrounds, to collaborate and cooperate with them, without being judgmental.

Cultural sensitivity means viewing everyone as a unique individual. It promotes unity and has become a skill that is most useful in the world of today.

You are now capable of adapting your leadership and communication style to every single member of your team.

You are also capable of shifting the focus from yourself to your team.

#9. When You Thought You Knew It All

Not because you are the leader, that you have all the solutions or are always right.

In fact, being a leader is being placed in a position of service and humility.

To be a humble leader:

  • Be confident about your own capabilities.
  • Take the time to think and to come up with a solution.
  • Understand that being a leader is not about being right.
  • Give people the time to think for themselves and to make their own mistakes.
  • Acknowledge that someone on your team may have better ideas than you do.
  • Learn to ask for help and to detect if someone needs help.
  • Learn to ponder your responses.

#10. When You Have Foot In The Mouth Syndrome

Sometimes, we say whatever comes to our mind.

Other times, we blurt out things that we don’t mean but we haven’t measured the real impact of our words.

In these moments, we understand that we should be quiet, that we should learn to speak less and listen more.

#11. When You Get Caught Up In Office Politics

Office politics is often badly perceived because it can be cruel, calculated and manipulative.

Sometimes, office politics is a dangerous and corrosive game but it is a game.

It is part of human nature, a social activity, a marathon and not a sprint.

Other times, properly navigating office politics can give you access to leadership opportunities and promotion.

Once you have experienced office politics, you become aware of the power play, of how you speak and listen to people.

You start making sure that you are robust, are not dependent on people or other external factors, that you are emotionally detached from your work and that you can clearly separate your identity from your job.

#12. When You Have To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

We all have been exposed during a period of time to annoying, hateful, toxic coworkers who can drive us crazy.

Whether it’s confronting a team member about their behavior or their performance, toxic coworkers can take a toll on you.

However, it can also help you grow and become a better leader.

#13. When You Have Identified Your Core Leadership Values

Core values are principles that build your character and that define who you are deep down.

In life and in the workplace, your core values will definitely be put to the test.

For example, some people will not hesitate to lie on you or to sabotage your work to advance their career.

Consolidating your core leadership values requires hard work, determination, daily practice and self-discipline.

#14. When You Welcome Change

If you have experienced drastic change in the workplace, you know that is better not to resist it.
Change is a part of life, is a constant and is inevitable. Change shakes things up, disrupts old habits, breathes new life into the workplace and into any project.

Furthermore, it has the ability to stimulate interest in your job. It also creates an opportunity for promotion and to develop new skills.

Welcoming change teaches you to:

  • Be a catalyst for change and to champion innovation.
  • Regularly get outside of your comfort zone.
  • Handle feedback, setbacks and opportunities.

#15. When You Assist Training Programs

You have been to different seminars and courses and realized that you have acquired so much skills and tools in such short time.

You have also met like-minded people who understand you vision.

Last Words Of Advice!

There are various ways that a leader can learn new skills and can learn how to lead.

Every experience is an opportunity to test your skills and to learn some new ones.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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