How To Successfully Identify & Deal With Your Emotional Triggers : 8 Proven Strategies That Leaders Use

Triggers? Everybody has them whether we want to admit or not, whether we know they exist or not.

Triggers are natural and there for self preservation purposes.

However, they show up anywhere at an inopportune time.

They make us react in appropriate ways, get us out of character and acting like a child again.

It is therefore detrimental for leaders to identify and control their triggers so that they cannot be controlled by them or someone.

Wondering how leaders identify and control their triggers?

How To Identify & Deal With Your Emotional Triggers (1)

What are TRIGGERS?

A trigger can be a person, a place, an object or an event.

Trauma is a major cause of triggers. Triggers are made of:

  • Situations that threaten your well being.
  • Conflicts in core values. Differences in ideas, beliefs and point of views.
  • Powerlessness from physical or emotional abuse.

For example, we can be triggered when:

  • We want to make a logical & rational point in serious conversation.
  • We are in a safe place and having fun with friends and family.
  • We are alone in a peaceful room.
  • We think about the past or the future.

Triggers just like intuition are nor good or bad: they have the ability to transform us into children again but they also warn us that something around us is wrong.

Furthermore, triggers allow us to become more self-aware and to discover the true meaning behind your actions. 

In addition, triggers can be stimulated internally or externally. They generally manifest themselves into:

  • Eating disorders,
  • Tears, fear or sadness,
  • Anger, rage or other emotional outburst,
  • Cold sweat and heart palpitations,
  • Inability to speak (out).

How to identify your TRIGGERS?

The problem with triggers is that they don’t allow us to achieve our purpose and get what we want out of life.

Triggers set you off path. They make you wonder “What the hell was I thinking?”, “I can’t believe I just did that!!!”.

For leaders triggers can cost you your character, your credibility, your team and your money.

That is why leaders have to become aware of themselves and the systems of beliefs that are driving their behavior.

There are a few strategies leaders can adopt to identify their triggers. While you are being triggered …

 

1. … Pause

When you are feeling heightened emotions, pause and analyze the situation.

Where am I? What am I doing? What was said? What is the meaning of this?

3. … Be still

Learn to be still in situation of turmoil.

Feel your emotions but don’t get stuck in them.

You don’t need to react but you need to learn to respond.

2. … Gain perspective

Acknowledge whether that trigger is positive or negative.

Does it help you to make positive or negative choices? Is it serving you

If it is not, it is time to let of go or turn it around to achieve a better life.

How to control your TRIGGERS?

Triggers of managed appropriately can intuitively guide us and warn us when something is wrong or too toxic for us.

Undisciplined triggers ruin great relationships, can hurt you physically and mysteriously hijack your life.

1. Traumas are real

Everything that you see in someone is only a mere reflection of yourself.

For instance, you don’t like being ignored at work because your parents ignored you growing up.

So now, you have to examine yourself first.

Then, take responsibility for your life, traumas and for your emotions.

2. Don’t take things personally

Understand that everyone has their own insecurities.

If they trigger you even purposefully, don’t take it personally.

You cannot control people nor are you responsible for their mental and emotional health.

3. Learn to change 

Not because you have been acting the same way for the last 20 years that you cannot change.

Change is possible. Change is good.

Don’t do the same thing every time you are being triggered or being triggered all the time is the right choice.

4. Be more present

Be more present to help you exercise continuous self-awareness.

This will help you monitor your thoughts and behaviors in challenging or regular situations.

By being present you stop experiencing your last threat.

5. Be more compassionate 

Be compassionate with yourself.

Appreciate your peace and don’t allow anyone to control you.

You are only human and cannot be in control of your entire self 24/7.

However, forgive yourself and always do your best.

6. Remember to exercise

Exercising keeps your mind clean and puts in control of your own body.

This way, when you are triggered, you can feel the symptoms acting out throughout your body.

You will then have enough control to acknowledge and minimize these symptoms.

7. Write down your emotions and your triggers

Make a list of the things that trigger you. This way, you will know which personality type or environment to avoid.

Write down your triggers and the reasons and histories around them. Then change the story and take back control. Why do they exist? Where do they come from?

8. Learn from your experiences

When you are triggered, remember that you are not defined by your last experience and that controlling your trigger is a learning process.

Acknowledge that the opinion of others don’t matter.

Allow your experiences to make you a better and optimized version of yourself.

You will do better next time FOR SURE!

Last Words Of Advice!

You attract what you think.

Therefore, take care of your mind so that you can live an optimized and meaningful life.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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How To Invest In Yourself : 10 Best Ways To Guarantee Success

We all want to achieve success in life.

We want the corner office, the big house, the nice car, respect, money, …

But we don’t want to make the effort necessary for success.

Nor do we understand that success starts with us.

In reality, investing in yourself is the best way to achieve success by helping you to become the best version of yourself.

Wondering what are the best ways to invest in yourself?

How To Invest In Yourself : 10 Best Ways To Guarantee Success #success #selfimprovement #leadership

Investing in yourself is realizing success in all areas of your life. It means:

  • Becoming your best self.
  • Getting to know who you truly are.
  • Maximizing your talents.
  • Achieving your purpose.
  • Making yourself more valuable to people.

1. Understand that you are the greatest asset you can ever ask for

First of all, you are the greatest investment you can ever make.

Investing in yourself will ensure long term happiness, purpose and financial stability.

2. Take the pressure off

You are not going to be the best or the most improved person just in one day.

  • Acknowledge that there is always room for improvement.
  • Understand that you are doing the best you can with the tools that you have.
  • Take the pressure off and start your journey where you are emotionally, physically, mentally, financially.
  • Don’t dwell on past mistakes. Look at your failures as an opportunity to grow.

3. Follow your purpose

The best way you can use your money is on yourself and on your purpose. 

Besides, whenever you follow your purpose, the money automatically follows.

To fulfill your purpose:

4. Take care of your mind

Take care of your mind and identify what you need to succeed.

  • Take time off to renew your mind.
  • Discipline your emotions so you can respond to negativity appropriately. 
  • Stay true to yourself and grow your mindset.
  • Let go of the past and be grateful for your present.
  • Feed your inner spirit. Meditate and speak words of affirmations on your life.

5. Educate yourself to the fullest

Knowledge is better than riches and cannot be taken away from you.

So, to invest in yourself, you have to learn and develop new skills that sill serve you in all areas of your life.

You can attend classes and apply for training sessions online for free.

You can also go to different events to network with people and to listen to their experiences.

Finally, you can read a book at least 15 minutes per day. Reading and studying blogs and books will increase your skills. There is always hidden knowledge in books.

6. Travel as much as you can

To invest in yourself, start travelling and experiencing new cultures.

When you travel, you open yourself up to new people, new ideas, new solutions.

This will broaden your experiences and will help you understand a different culture, talk to people of all walks of life, become more diplomatic and more culturally sensitive.

Travel is the best investment you can make in yourself. It teaches you that there are many ways to live a good, fulfilled life. It broadens your world view, yet makes you appreciate home all the more. - Joel Sartore Click To Tweet

7. Stay organized

When investing in yourself, it is essential to:

  • Manage your time effectively. Schedule your time with the tasks that you need to do. You don’t need to put a time frame in each task but start with the most important one.
  • Take care of your environment. Clean up your mess. Make your bed as soon as you wake up. Clean up your environment. A messy environment has a way of cluttering your mind.

8. Take care of your body

Health is wealth so it becomes imperative to take care of your health, to exercise and to eat healthy.

Exercising first thing in the morning energizes you, boosts up your confidence and gives you a running start on your day.

Eating healthier and working out may cost more but are a long-term investment.

9. Take care of your relationships

Relationships can take your career or your hustle to the next level. Therefore, when you are investing in yourself, you may want to:

  • Meet people who will get you out of your comfort zone.
  • Monitor where you spend your time and the people who surround you.
  • Analyze how you feel after an interaction. You may have to eliminate people or activities who do not bring any value to you. 

10. Find a role model

To figure out his to invest in yourself, you must find the right mentors and the right role models.

You can even invest in a coach to learn and produce faster results.

Additionally, you can hire someone who you trust, who is living the life you want, who have the character that you want.

Last Words Of Advice!

The moment you start investing in yourself, the more you will gain respect, money and manifest positive opportunities so you can experience life to the fullest.

Don’t wait to invest in yourself!

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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8 Ways Travelling Improves Your Leadership

I tend to travel at moments when everything in my life are chaotic or going down hill. Why? Because I gain better perspective when I push my boundaries and step outside my personal situation.

Travelling can indeed be a wonderful and unique experience.

It can also be a way to increase your leadership, change your mindset, improve your self-awareness and discover better principles.

Wondering how can travelling make you a better leader?

There are a lot of positive effects to travelling.

8 Ways Travelling Improves Your Leadership #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #selfimprovement #selfawareness #selfesteem #confidence #travel

1. You discover yourself

When you travel, nobody really knows you so you are free to try and embody new versions of yourself.

That is because by travelling, you remove yourself from the pressures of society and from the expectations that your parents or circle have placed on you.

You find ways to become a better leader for yourself and your team.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. - Henry Miller Click To Tweet

2. You renew your mind

You change your perspective, gain more clarity and start thinking differently.

Indeed, travelling quiets the negative voices in your head and rewires your brain.

Travelling is an opportunity to go into deep introspection, to discipline yourself, to challenge your beliefs and assumptions, and redefine your values and priorities.

You are too absorbed by the new environments to stay stuck in the past, anxious about the future, or stuck in your head.

3. You get out of your comfort zone

One of my favorite things about travelling is taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone. It requires a lot of confidence and a taste for the unknown.

It gives you the opportunity to try new things and try out different versions of themselves.

Not everybody has the opportunity to travel. To be kind to your wallet, you can travel to the city next door.

4. You build up self-confidence

Investment in travel is an investment in yourself. - Matthew Karsten Click To Tweet

When I travel, I don’t like making plans in general.

I rather wander, roam through the streets and get lost so I can ask people my way back, practice a different language, find hidden treasures and test my ability to be resourceful.

Getting lost and finding my way back gives me more confidence in my abilities to successfully take care of myself. I can then return home with the conviction that I can solve anything I put my mind to.

5. You get healed

Travelling provides healing for your entire being and reminds you that there is still beauty in the world.

  • You acquire the opportunity to get to know yourself better, to try different things, to get out of your attributed role.
  • You become present and aware of your surroundings.
  • You listen to yourself more and get in touch with your intuition.
  • You treasure your experiences more than material things. Your positive memories will help you overcome difficult times.

6. You balance your work and life

Leaders don’t always have time to relax and travel as much as they would want to. Travelling improves your work-life balance because:

  • You don’t have to worry so much about work and your coworkers.
  • You remove yourself from toxicity and enjoy people who enjoy you.
  • You break from your routine and from zombie mode.
  • You take a well deserved break from your drama.
  • You recenter yourself and you realize that we are all human beings.
You lose sight of things… and when you travel, everything balances out. - Daranna Gidel Click To Tweet

7. You develop cultural sensitivity

Through my years of travel, I have seen people travelling so they could feel superior and turn their nose up at people from different cultures who live their lives differently.

They basically use travelling as a way to validate their beliefs of superiority.

The reality is travelling is a way to open your mind and experience new cultures.

  • You gain more knowledge.
  • You become less judgmental.
  • You become culturally sensitive.
  • You may find where you truly belong.
  • You understand that different is good.
  • You believe that everything or everyone has their qualities and their flaws.
  • You acknowledge that most people don’t fall under all the stereotypes.
When overseas you learn more about your own country, than you do the place you’re visiting. - Clint Borgen Click To Tweet

8. You grow social Skills

Travelling increases your curiosity, creativity and social skills.

You meet interesting people on your journey who speak different languages but who have the same life experiences and the same intentions.

Beyond the language barrier, you become self-reliant, you value people and make an effort to understand other people.

Last Words Of Advice!

Try travelling alone if you can.

When you travel alone, you make your own decisions, you learn yourself, you are responsible for yourself and you do what you want.

Finally, you learn to value yourself and enjoy yourself alone. 

once a year go some place you've never been before - Dalai Lama Click To Tweet

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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11 Powerful Ways Successful Leaders Build Self-Awareness

Becoming self-aware is an active and conscious process.

Self-awareness is the ability to get in touch with your authentic self, to clearly assess your strengths, weaknesses, core values, relationships and limitations.

It is a skill that improves job satisfaction, mental health, your relationships and understanding of others.

Wondering how great leaders acquire self-awareness?

11 Powerful Ways Successful Leaders Build Self-Awareness #selfimprovement #selfawareness #selfdiscipline #success #characterdevelopment #leadership #leadershipskills #leadershipdevelopment #JourneyToLeadership

The benefits of self-awareness

Self-awareness helps you identify your passions, bring out your authentic self, open yourself to learning, receive honest feedback and detach yourself from the opinion of others.

Furthermore, self-aware leaders are emotionally intelligent, lead with confidence and compassion, understand that leadership is an ongoing process, upgrade their organization and uplift their teams.

Self-aware leaders understand how their behavior affect the people around them and subsequently have great people skills.

Self-aware leaders may not climb the ladder faster but they may gain more respect and trust from their peers.

Basically, they are the opposite of toxic leaders because they constructively acknowledge, process and manage their emotions.

How do leaders acquire self-awareness?

There are a few steps to take for you to acquire more self-awareness.

1. Look for patterns in your behavior

Sometimes, we are so busy fighting off whatever is coming at us to realize that we are having reoccurring experiences and events, that we are holding on to negative assumptions and beliefs.

In order to stay focused and be ready for any life challenges, we have to take time to identify our triggers and track our patterns of behavior.

To see positive and negative patterns in your behavior., you can hold a journal and write about yourself objectively.

2. Take a self-awareness assessment tool

Self-awareness assessment tools give you an insight into your personality type, your character, the way you handle different situations.

They help you discover your strengths, weaknesses and hidden passions.

The StrengthsFinder, StandOut, DISC Profiles and Emotional Intelligence are great tools that have been used by most organizations.

3. Stay focused and practice self-discipline

Self-discipline will help you monitor your emotions and get them under control.

Your goals and purpose will give you enough motivation to practice self-discipline.

4. Detach yourself from your thoughts

You cannot control everything but you can control the way you respond to life circumstances.

That is why you must detach yourself from your thoughts so you can accept them.

5. Be confident in your abilities

People may be better than you at different things.

But there is only one you and that is your superpower.

To grow confidence in your abilities:

  • Embrace your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Find ways to put them to work.
  • Admit your mistakes and seek out continual improvement.
  • Be compassionate towards yourself and simply revisit your core values.

6. Observe how you affect your surroundings

Sometimes, we want to talk about topics that matter to us, connect with people who make sense or belong to a group.

However, people are not always receptive to you because there is a margin between how we are and how we are perceived, because of their own insecurities, assumptions and lack of self-awareness. 

It is up to you to determine using your self-awareness, whether or not you can be your best self or you want to belong.

To be mindful of your actions and words;

  • Understand how your behavior and words can be misinterpreted and when it is time to stand up for yourself.
  • Acknowledge that by getting to know yourself better, you will get to know others as well, to interpret their verbal and nonverbal cues.

7. Don’t make assumptions about people

This will help you make better decisions, navigate office politics, empathize for others, build improved teams and find team members who complement you. 

8. Stay curious

There is no way you can fully get to know yourself and others.

Stay open-minded and give yourself enough space to step out of your comfort zone.

9. Don’t ignore your intuition

Your intuition sends information that you have not or don’t know how to process.

Your intuition is there to protect you and is right most of the time.

10. Ask for feedback

Leaders tend to ask for less feedback, to become less self-aware the more experience and the more power that they wield.

It becomes detrimental for them to ask for feedback from people they trust and respect.

11. Commit yourself to growing

Nobody is perfect. The people who have arrested their development are the people who need the most improvement.

Leadership is a long journey. You must always figure out what you can do to make things better and what you can do differently.

Last Words Of Advice!

It is goof to check in with yourself from time to time.

  • Take time off in solitude to confront your decisions, to measure your progress and to reignite your fire.
  • Recall the times that you felt your best and operated at your peak performance.
  • Stephen R. Covey, in the The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, said it best: “Begin with the end in mind”.
  • If you won the lottery today, what would you do with your life.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success

There comes a time when leaders feel stuck in a rut, unable to solve problems or constantly being blindsided by events.

That is because they lack wisdom and character, they don’t have the appropriate knowledge of themselves and of the situation.

13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success #success #books #bookreview #leader #leadership

Books provide valuable information for leaders to grow and to improve themselves.

Reading has to play an important part in leadership.

The following books will help you improve your self-awareness, develop your character, build your vision and your purpose.

1. The Alchemist

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Author: Paulo Coelho

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Alchemist outlines the journey of a leader.

It teaches us to be ourselves and to follows our heart and gut.

It reminds us that failure always brings us closer to our success and that all we need is already within us.

 

2. The Four Agreements

 

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

He encourages us to be impeccable with our words, to not take anything personally, to not making assumptions and to do our best.

3. Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

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Author: Kim Scott

Ratings 3/5

In Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, Kim Scott reveals ways to be truthful, to develop candid relationships.

Being truthful without being a bully is difficult. Candor comes with risks but it will determine your level of success in the long run.

4. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

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Author: Amy Cuddy

Ratings: 3.5/5

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy gives advice on managing nonverbal cues to induce Presence, identifying your best authentic self, nurturing your boldest self, and creating personal power.

It is useful for leaders who want to get in touch with their best self.

5. H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.

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Author: Brad Lomenick

Ratings: 4/5

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.Brad Lomenick draws conclusions from his personal leadership style and allies spirituality with leadership.

He shares various tips on being a better leader. He also urges us to define who we are, to identify where you are going and how you will get there.

6. Principles: Life and Work

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Author: Ray Dalio

Ratings: 3/5

Dalio shares many principles to navigate life and work.

Ray Dalio encourages us to stay open-minded, to find and speak truth in order to live a healthier lifestyle, to meet our goals and to handle setbacks.

 

7. Tribes: We need you to lead us

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Author: Seth Godin

Ratings: 3/5

In Tribes: We need you to lead us, Seth Godin declares that everybody wants and needs to belong to a tribe.

He also demonstrates how challenging the status quo is a simple way to create your own tribe, to build your fellowship, to define your leadership without forcing people.

 

8. No One Understands You and What To Do About It

 

Author: Heidi Grant Halvorson

Ratings: 4/5

In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood.

She also gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.

 

9. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

 

Author: Marshall Goldsmith

Ratings: 4/5

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More SuccessfulMarshall Goldsmith helps you identify all the 21 bad behaviors that are currently holding you back from success.

He also provides different solutions so you develop your character and be your best self at work.

 

10. Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

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Author: Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Ratings 3/5

Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg list all the common self-defeating habits that we have acquired in life and have brought to work.

In order to achieve success, they show us how to get out our own way, how to stop self-sabotaging, how and what to change.

11. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less

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Author: Greg Mckeown

Ratings: 4/5

Essentialism is a thought process that drives success, that improves your decisions making and time management skills.

In Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less, Greg Mckeown replaces the false assumptions that we can do it all, that being busy means being productive, that we must accept every single opportunity that comes our way.

12. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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Author: Daniel H. Pink

Ratings: 4/5

In Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Daniel H. Pink shows us that people are not motivated by common external factors such as money or fame. 

Daniel H. Pink reveals that people’s behaviors are mostly driven by purpose, passion, autonomy, a need for self-improvement and for self-imposed goals.

Leaders can use that innate drive to increase productivity, improve performance and build stronger teams.

13. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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Author: Angela Duckworth

Ratings 3/5

In Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Duckworth defines Grit as a combination of resilience, determination, purpose and passion. 

According to Angela Duckworth, anyone can acquire grit. Furthermore, people with grit are more successful than people who are talented but who don’t put in work.

 

 

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8 Ways Great Leaders Deal With Disappointment

Recently, I have made solid plans around an opportunity that didn’t turn out. Thou I didn’t care much about the opportunity, I was frustrated that the plans that I carefully hatched fell through.

In order to find out why the opportunity fell off, I had a conversation with a toxic individual who spewed lies and venom and with whom I happened to get out of character.

Because I lost my plans for the future and gave away my personal power, I was deeply disappointed in myself and in the circumstances.

If you are a trailblazing leader, are goal-oriented or enjoy making plans for the future, these moments happen often and you will face a lot of disappointments in your life.

That is why, you simply have to learn to cope with it.

Wondering how leaders overcome disappointment in life?

8 Ways Great Leaders Deal With Disappointment #resilience #adversity #leadership #failure #success #selfesteem

The importance of disappointments

Disappointment is defined as feelings of sadness or displeasure caused by feelings of unfulfilled hope and failed expectations.

Sometimes, an opportunity that we wished for just doesn’t turn out; A person we are hoping for doesn’t show up or act right.

However, life never goes according to plans. Eventually, you will make new plans, you will realize that not every opportunity is a good opportunity and not everyone is good for you.

Feelings of disappointment are hard to get rid off at first but are ephemeral. Those feelings will go away with time.

Once you have overcome these feelings, you will finally understand who you truly are, you can grow as a person, become a stronger person, and build up your character.

How to overcome disappointment?

1. Accept your emotions

Disappointment is part of life and everyone will experience it at some point in life.

Disappointment can trigger a vast array of emotions that you cannot run away from or cover up.

It becomes critical to acknowledge your feelings and find out what exactly triggered it.

Refusing to analyze, confront and discipline your emotions can cause long-term damage on your health.

2. Forgive yourself

Learning to forgive yourself is the hardest part of dealing with disappointment because we are grasping our errors and what we “should” have done instead.

You are only human. You have made mistakes and you will probably make some more.

So, be compassionate with yourself, avoid shifting blame and take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well and exercise.

3. Reframe your mindset

Now, that you have dealt with your raw emotions, it is time to restructure your mindset, improve on yourself, analyze your situation and mentally distance yourself from your past expectations.

This is the moment when you get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, when you accept disappointment as a part of life and as a challenge, when you use it to improve yourself and to change the way you have been doing things.

While you are reframing your mindset:

  • Monitor your self-talk.
  • Don’t expect to be constantly disappointed because you attract what you think.
  • Practice self control to make better decisions, to nurture healthy thoughts because you are responsible for yourself.

4. Shift your focus

Now that you have reframed your mind, you have to trust that positivity can result from a negative situation and focus on turning your negative situation into a positive one.

The best way to keep moving forward and to making the best out of any situation is to  stay busy, positive, focused and on purpose, to focus on your strengths and on who you want to be.

You can also find out what you could have done differently and make your goals more achievable.

5. Stay present

Your disappointment happened in the past and it’s time to move on.

There is no sense in replaying a situation in your mind over and over again.

It becomes detrimental to your health to be present and be grateful for what you currently have.

If you cannot remain in the present and keep ruminating, it is best to quickly analyze your feelings until you get closure.

6. Surround yourself with positive people

Disappointment can turn into a burden that can be too heavy for one person.

It can be helpful to share your disappointment with people you trust and who care about you.

As a general notice:

  • Be careful who you surround yourself with.
  • Stay away from people who constantly disappoint you or who hurt you on purpose.

7. Let go control

In life, you must always remember that you cannot control everything that happens to you or around you.

Therefore, 

  • Don’t worry about the circumstances outside your control. It won’t change anything.
  • Trust that life has a better plan and solution for you.
  • Remember that there are many more opportunities out there.
  • Don’t get too attached to your plans and expectations.
  • Expect setbacks in life.

8. Grow!

Remember that life is a journey and that every failure brings you closer to your success.

We can learn something from every life experience, even from our disappointments.

Last Words Of Advice!

No matter the situation, always maintain your personal power.

There is no need to always throw yourself a pity party.

Once you have given yourself time to heal and when you get over your feelings of disappointment, you must think about what you could have done differently and implement the new solution the next time you face a similar situation.

Now that you know better, do better!

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer encourages people to be their Best Self.

What is your Best Self?

Your Best Self is unique, positive, evolved and aligned with your truth.

When you are being your best self, you are being your most authentic and at your core.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer #books #bookreview #selfesteem #selfimprovement #leader #leadership #selfdevelopment #lifecoaching #lifecoach

How to connect with your Best Self?

Connecting with your Best Self takes time and requires patience. To get in touch with your Best Self:

  • Express gratitude frequently to get out of a negative space. Make a gratitude list of everything that puts you in a good mood or elevates you in any kind of way.
  • Embrace change. Everybody can change if they want to, they just have to apply the right motivations.
  • Identify your fears. Once you have identified your fears, put them to the test to see if your assumptions are true, if they are rational, if they help you succeed, or if they serve your best interests.
  • Recognize any signs of egotistical behavior. Once you have acknowledge your behavior, assess the origins of it and get your ego in check.

Assessing your Best Self

“SPHERES stands for Social life, Personal life, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment, and Spiritual life”.

The SPHERES tool, create by Mike Bayer, is a screening tool used to assess your Best Self in all areas of your life.

Your social life 

In the SPHERES tool, your social situation determines how well you project your Best Self to the world.

It then becomes imperative to analyze how you interact with people. You can also assess your ability to send clear messages, to listen to others, to embrace human emotions, to handle highly charged situations, to give and receive feedback.

Your personal life

Your personal life contains your self-image, your self-talk, the level of compassion and respect you have for yourself.

To create the personal life that you want, you will have to:

  • Rewire your brain to think positively by challenging your internal dialogue.
  • Get familiar with what you are constantly telling yourself.
  • Identify the messages you tell yourself when you are under pressure.
  • Log your thoughts and your self-talk, identify the common themes and tones.
  • Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of yourself and monitor your stress levels before they snowball. If you take care of yourself, you will definitely be able to take care of others.
  • Connect with your passions. Your passions will vary throughout your life. Your passions will allow you to express yourself, to strengthen your bond with your Best Self and vibrate at a higher frequency. To find your passions, explore new things, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

Your health

Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be present, keep a clear mind and achieve your Best Self.

Your education

Remaining in a “lifetime learning mode” will help you evolve into your Best Self and become more self-aware.

Once you find your passions, you will take pleasure in acquiring knowledge in that field.

Your relationships

Your relationships reflect who you are as a person.

Your Best Self will gauge who you want to be around, judge the health of a relationship and help you make the tough decisions.

In order to stay connected to your Best Self in all relationships, you must define your core values, exercise them and identify the people who live up to them.

Your employment

We spend most of our days at work.

So, when we are not able to fully be ourselves, our work life tends to become draining.

It somehow becomes important to nurture our Best Selves at work or create a career path that allows us to maximize our potential at work.

Review

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer shares tips and tools to help you achieve your Best Self. He helps you make a diagnostic of all the aspects of your life and provides practical solutions to your problems.

Furthermore, Best Self: Be You, Only Better is a workbook that teaches you how to fix what’s inside to fix outside. It is on point when it comes to assessing people’s behavior and can conveniently be revisited several time in your life.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better is ideal for leaders who want to improve their leadership skills and bring their best selves at work. It becomes clear that if you are your best self, you can create the best teams, take care of others and create the best organization.

With this workbook:

  • Get in touch with your Best Self.
  • Reach your highest potential.
  • Find more balance in your life.
  • Evolve, change, reinvent yourself and improve your life.
  • Learn to handle adversity and crisis.
  • Discover your truth and your purpose.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Many of society’s “rules” simply don’t apply to us as individuals, and if we spend all our energy on trying to be, do, say, and act like society wants us to, we are simply wasting time we could be spending on discovering and connecting with our Best Self.

Self-care is foundational to living your ideal life.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Mike Bayer

Mike Bayer

MEET THE AUTHOR

Mike Bayer is a professional personal development coach, CEO and founder of CAST Centers. Mike Bayer is also the author of Best Self: Be You, Only Better.

23 Things Leaders Need To Stop Doing Right Now

The best leaders are authenticself-disciplined and self-aware.

They know their strengths, weaknesses and limitations. 

They are honest with themselves and realize when they have harbored behaviors that need to be changed.

Wondering what are the things that you need to stop doing immediately?

23 Things Leaders Need To Stop Doing Right Now

#1. Stop depending on people for your self worth

Depending on people for your self-worth is risky because the people who build you up can also break you down.

To find your self-worth, you must stop comparing yourself to others, accept your unique distinctions, discover your abilities, auto-evaluate your role and contributions at work.

#2. Stop trying to be the center of attention

Leaders who place themselves at the center of attention take credit for their employees work, want to appear bigger than they really are, overestimate their contribution.

#3. Stop trying to be liked by everybody

If everybody likes you, you are either a person pleaser, a doormat or delusional.

#4. Stop being overly emotions

Emotions give us insight into our subconscious.

They are valuable tool to understand ourselves but they need to be controlled in order to lead and make the best decisions.

#5. Stop encouraging aggressive office politics

Toxic leaders turn their workplace into the hunger games for their own environment.

Workers then become unproductive and pay more attention to the drama than results and quality of work.

#6. Stop creating unreachable goals

Unreachable goals put unnecessary pressure on your employees.

Not every employee knows how to handle their stress. They most likely will end up getting distracted, lashing out at others or underperforming.

#7. Stop over processing everything

Leaders create processes that overwhelm their employees and that take time.

Deconstructing some processes help employees get their job done faster.

#8. Stop scheduling meetings just to do meetings

We have all been on a job where we go through pointless and endless meetings.

We come out those meetings drained, confused and filled with useless information.

#9. Stop the lack of transparency

It’s OK to change opinions or come through with mew decisions.

The only thing, you have to speak the truth, to be transparent, share when and why your opinions and decisions have changed.

#10. Stop amplifying internal conflicts

Conflicts are inevitable in the workplace.

You work with people who were raised differently and who have different sets of values.

However, internal conflicts create distractions, drama and not results.

It is best to shut down internal conflicts and focus on the real work issues.

#11. Stop micromanaging your team

Micromanaging leaders need to stay in control at all times.

They believe that they get things done better on their own and have a hard time delegating.

They just cannot control everything.

#12. Stop spreading yourself too thin

As a leader, you want to know everything and be everywhere at once.

You engage in so many projects that you don’t have the time to breathe of enjoy them.

The reality is that you cannot participate in everything because you will end up underperforming.

If you want to mater everything, you will master none. Stop saying yes to everything.

#13. Stop passing judgement

By passing judgement, you place yourself above other people and you push them away.

#14. Stop trying to win

Some leaders want to compete with their employees and win at all cost.

They want to be better at everything.

The reality is that they force their employees to dull themselves down, to downplay their achievements and to avoid speaking up when things go wrong.

#15. Stop showing off your intellect

Some leaders feel the need to express how smart they are and how much they know, even if they don’t.

#16. Stop neglecting your relationships

You have to make time for your employees and those you value.

Taking care of your relationships create employee engagement and alignment.

#17. Stop obsessing over results

When you obsess over results you forget to:

  • observe the bigger picture,
  • nurture your core values and character,
  • pay attention to those who drive your business.

#18. Stop overworking yourself

Leaders are constantly under pressure over long periods of time.

To combat that pressure, some leaders micromanage, spread themselves thin, arrive early and stay late.

If they don’t nurture a healthy work life balance, they can easily break down and burn out.

#19. Stop quitting

Perseverance is key and giving up too soon will cause you to miss out on success.

Besides, quitting when things get tough will demoralize your team ad damage your self-esteem.

#20. Stop procrastinating

Procrastination is the action of putting off an important yet unpleasant task.

It is avoiding pain and pushing it back for later, it is neither starting nor completing a task.

However, a leader has no room for procrastination.

Leaders who procrastinate are ineffective, unproductive and unaware of their own abilities.

#21. Stop sandbagging your employees

Place your employees in positions where they can maximize their potential.

#22. Stop being negative

Negativity is contagious and hard to get rid of in the workplace.

Negative leaders don’t motivate their team and find problems to every solutions.

#23. Stop acting alone

Leaders make decisions alone but they need their team to bring their visions to life.

They don’t need to act alone if they surround themselves with the right people.

Last Words Of Advice!

As a leader, you are role models to their employees.

You have to constantly be careful of the behaviors that you demonstrate and that you want to perpetuate.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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