Tag: Self-Esteem

Book Reviews, Faith-Based

The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

What is an agreement?

The four agreements come from the Toltec teachings of wisdom. The goal of this book is to make each agreement a habit.

An agreement is:

  • a programming of the mind.
  • a language, a code that helps us understand each other.
  • a belief system that has domesticated us.

It represents the rules that we abide to, that we pass down from generation to generation.

Unfortunately, we have not chosen the agreements that we live by. Most of the time, they have been chosen for us and have existed longer than we have.

The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

The First Agreement

The first agreement is to be “impeccable with your words“. This means that you must be careful of not using words against yourself and others.

Indeed, there is power in the words that you use. Matter of fact, it is the most powerful tool at your disposal. 

You can use your words to create beauty or to wreak havoc.

“What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word”.

What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word. Click To Tweet

Purpose of the agreement

Being “impeccable with your words” helps you suppress any toxicity from your mind, free your mind from fear and doubt, and filter out negativity.

Implementing the agreement

Furthermore, words grow and take root in your mind if you are not careful. So:

  • Be true to yourself.
  • Be careful of the words that you use on yourself.
  • Do not speak against yourself.
  • Avoid gossiping and don’t believe gossip.
  • Accept and love yourself so you can demonstrate love and acceptance toward others.

The Second Agreement

The second agreement is to not “take anything personally”.

Often times, people are preoccupied with their own beliefs, feelings and opinions about themselves that they take out on others.

Even if they insult you directly, it is wise not to take their insult personally.

Purpose of the agreement

This agreement is necessary to avoid burdening yourself with people’s problem, setting “yourself up to suffer for nothing”.

Acquiring this habit will help you free yourself, keep your heart open, see people for who they really are, and be unaffected by fear.

Implementing the agreement

Understand that:

  • All opinions about you are not necessarily true.
  • Opinions about you depends on the person and on their moods.
  • We can choose what to believe and what to agree with.
  • You must trust yourself and don’t need to trust anyone else.

The Third Agreement

The third agreement consists in not making assumptions.

Undeniably, assumptions are not the truth and breeds problems.

Purpose of the agreement

The third agreement will help you build better relationships and increase your communication skills.

Implementing the agreement

To properly implement this agreement:

  • Ask for clarifications rather than making assumptions.
  • Remember that it is OK to ask questions.
  • Collect the right data about people and situations first.
  • Don’t assume that people can read your mind.
  • Ask for what you want, expect yes or no. Understand that you can say yes or no as well.

The Fourth Agreement

This fourth agreement encourages you to always “do you best” and consolidates all previous three agreements.

Purpose of the agreement

Forming the habit of always doing your best will:

  • Save you from harsh self-judgement.
  • Increase your production.
  • Mature your self-love.

Implementing the agreement

Keep in mind that:

  • Your best will fluctuate all the time. It will depend on your mood, on your energy level, on your health and on your situation.
  • You must take action without expecting any rewards. This way, you will be able to enjoy your actions better.

Review

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz provides a very powerful perspective on life. It encourages self-transformation, self-awareness, self acceptance, and the understanding of others.

I found out briefly that The Four Agreements, yet short, is thoughtful and goes straight to the point. It calls out society’s hypocrisy, fear and domestication.

Everyone I know who have read this book has felt elevated. It was therefore hard to resist reading it and I have to say that I did not regret it.

As you read, you will find that you already had the knowledge and the wisdom within you but have been holding it back. You will learn to trust yourself and set yourself free.

Favorite quote(s)

The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.

Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally.

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.

All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.

Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are.

Ratings 4.5/5

Author

Don Miguel Ruiz

Book Reviews

Quiet : The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking By Susan Cain

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In the American Culture, leadership is often equated with hyperextroversion and an emphasis is placed on personality, charm, and charisma.

On one hand, people feel a constant urge to fit into the extroversion mould, to develop an extroverted personality and feel pressured to always project confidence.

On the other, introverts have become the ugly step-children.

Basically, the American Culture promotes an Extrovert Ideal when several temperaments exist, are valuable and needed in Society.

Quiet _ The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking By Susan Cain #book #bookreview #bookreviews #quiet #introversion #introvert #introvertproblems #introvertlife #introverts #introvertstruggles #introvertsunite #extrovert #introverting #introvertsbelike #introvertthoughts #introvertsareawesome journeytoleadershipblog.com

Many “people, especially those in leadership roles, engage in a certain level of pretend-extroversion”.

1. The birth of the Extrovert Ideal

The Extrovert Ideal is “the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight”.

The Extrovert Ideal was born when public speaking became a must have skill in the beginning of the 20th century.

The American Culture swiftly shifted from a Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality.

Hence, people started focusing on the way they presented themselves, on making a good first impression, on appearance, on selling themselves well all the time.

They then transformed themselves into personae, performers, sales men and women and became fascinated with movie stars.

2. The Introverted temperament

Extroversion and introversion are extreme temperaments that are said to be inherited.

Most people exhibit behaviors along that spectrum depending on the circumstances: no one is fully an introvert or an extrovert all the time.

The most common misconception about these temperaments is that introverts are antisocial and extroverts are pro social.

The reality is that introverts are quickly overly stimulated, the said stimulation is exhausting and that they need downtime to recharge from socializing.

Furthermore, introverts are creative, tend to work alone, to value solitude because “solitude can be a catalyst to innovation“; it is vital to their creativity and allows them to deliberately practice.

At their core, introverts observe society rather than participate in society because participating requires too much mental multitasking.

In addition, they:

  • are highly reactive,
  • are listeners more than talkers,
  • ask questions like “What if?”,
  • rather quality over quantity,
  • avoid conflict most of the time,
  • avoid group activities,
  • are non competitive,
  • “welcome the chance to communicate digitally”.

Even with opposite temperaments, introverts and extroverts are often drawn to each other and get along.

The Introvert Success

Should they act out of character or stretch themselves in order to be who they want to be? Can introverts succeed without altering themselves?

Most introverts know how to act out of character and fake extroversion to some extent.

Some introverts fake extroversion to survive, to fit in and succeed.
Others have fooled themselves into thinking that they are extroverts, have taken on a role that is expected of them or their job, feel obliged to serve up a persona.

introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly Click To Tweet

The truth is that introverts can act out of character rather convincingly, should act out of character if it is vital or if they are deeply attached to their objectives but cannot and shouldn’t act out for too long. Acting out of character for too long can result in burnout and health problems.

To succeed without altering themselves, some introverts focus on core personal projects that are important to them.

To identify their core personal projects, introverts:

  • Think about what they wanted to be when they were children.
  • Assess the type of work they generally gravitate to.
  • Observe the people and things that they envy.

Furthermore, introverts understand that certain social situations can be intimidating.

Therefore, in order to remain calm and confident, they adopt the same behavior and facial expression as if you were calm and confident.

They also take regular breaks alone where they need to restore, recharge and be themselves.

Introverts may have to cut an agreement with themselves: they socialize and act out of character as much as they want to or as much as they are comfortable to just as long as they take the time to recharge.

Review

In Quiet : The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking, in an almost autobiographic writing style, Susan Cain puts a positive spin on the term “quiet”, reflects on the place of introversion in the American society and seeks to understand the Extrovert Ideal.

Susan Cain objectively describes her personal experience as an introvert and adopts a scientific approach to depicting the difference between introversion and extroversion.

In The American and Western society, there is an obsession and an urge to develop an extroverted personality.
Indeed, leadership is often equated to hyperextroversion and most of our institutions are organized to favor extroversion, value open spaces, transparency, team-work, and competition to the detriment of quiet leadership, creativity, solitude, alone time, introversion are not well seen

So throughout her research and her journey of self-discovery, Susan Cain goes through her own experience, childhood memories to find explanation and insights into her introversion and answers the following questions: Should introverts alter themselves to succeed? To what degree should they stretch themselves?

The answer lies somewhere between you can act out but you shouldn’t act out for too long.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Yet today we make room for a remarkably narrow range of personality styles. We’re told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts—which means that we’ve lost sight of who we really are.

We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risktaking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. […] We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” […]

Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.

‘Here everyone knows that it’s important to be an extrovert and troublesome to be an introvert. So people work real hard at looking like extroverts, whether that’s comfortable or not. It’s like making sure you drink the same single-malt scotch the CEO drinks and that you work out at the right health club.’

They welcome the chance to communicate digitally. The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice. The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a presence online and then extend these relationships into the real world.

introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly

many people, especially those in leadership roles, engage in a certain level of pretend-extroversion.

Ratings 4/5

About the author

Susan Cain

 

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Author

Susan Cain

by journeytoleadershipblogLeave a Comment on Susan Cain

Meet the author #author #biography #book #books #bookreviews #leadership journeytoleadershipblog.comSusan Cain is a practiced corporate lawyer, a lecturer and the author of Quiet : The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking.

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The power of No: 36 Different Ways To Say No In The Workplace

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Whether or not you’re asked to take on new tasks, to work on different projects or you have been given a new opportunity, saying no without guilt or justification is a leadership skill that will often come into play.

Learning how and why to say no is a vital leadership skill that few people master.

Indeed, it is difficult for some poeple to say no because the word “no” has often a negative connotation and is assimilated to rejection.

In addition, even though the word “no” is powerful, it is often followed by a sense of guilt.

Wondering what are the different ways to say no?

The power of No: 36 Different Ways To Say No In The Workplace #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

The Benefits Of Saying No

No means no and saying no is a right.
In addition, No is a sentence in itself. This means that you don’t have to explain yourself.
When you say no to one thing, you:

  • Automatically say yes to something else.
  • Commit yourself to something else.
  • Become honest with yourself and satisfy your basic needs.
  • Say no to things that are not essential or that don’t add value to your life.
  • Focus on what you want.
  • Are responsible for your actions.
  • Choose the life you really want.
  • Handle your time efficiently.
  • Acquire a healthy work life balance.
  • Improve your metal healthy.
  • Increase your self-confidence.

The Different Ways Of Saying No

  1. No

    As simply as it is, no is a powerful word in itself and needs no justification. If you don’t want to do something, that’s OK. Don’t apologize for it.

  2. No, thank you

  3. I have a prior commitment

  4. Maybe another time…

  5. I’m honoured but I can’t

  6. Unfortunately, this is not a good time

  7. I am unable to commit to that right now

  8. I cannot fit that into my schedule

  9. I’ll pass on that

  10. I’m not really into that but thank you

  11. I know, I’m sorry

    This line works for people who you know, who you care about and who care about you. Otherwise, the person making the request will take this as a sign of request.

  12. Thank you but no thank you

    This says that you are somehow flattered by the proposition but cannot commit to it. It has the luxury of not being followed by an excuse.

  13. It’s not doable

  14. It’s not possible

  15. It’s not a good time right now

  16. I’m flattered but I can’t

  17. Thank you for thinking of me but I can’t

    Use I don’t instead of I can’t Introduce them to someone or something who can do what they are asking for

  18. I made other plans

  19. This isn’t going to work for me

  20. This is not in my schedule

  21. This is not a priority

  22. Now is not a good time

  23. Maybe next time

  24. This is too last minute

  25. Let me check my calendar and I’ll get back to you

  26. Silence

    Silence is a powerful toolgo convey a message. Whether you want to say yes or no, pause and measure your words.

  27. Did you know…?

    Changing the conversation is a good way to day no without saying no and to talk about something you care about.

  28. I would rather…

  29. I need to take care of something else

  30. I have other priorities

  31. That would be great but I have other plans

  32. I appreciate that but…

  33. It goes against my principles

  34. It goes against my intuition

    Trust your intuition because your gut always knows best. You just have to take the time to listen to it.

  35. This makes me uncomfortable

  36. Let me think about it

    Phrases such as these will allow you to buy up some time so you can think of a more appropriate answer.

Last Words Of Advice!

Sometimes, you will meet people who will not respect your no or your setting of boundaries. You don’t have to recant yourself, you simply have the repeat yourself.

If they still don’t respect that, you have every right to walk away.

If you have a hard time saying no, think about the consequences of saying yes. This will motivate you to do the right thing.

Don’t forget that you can also come up with your own ways of saying no.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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Journey To Leadership, Quotes

10 Quotes To Inspire Change

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This year has been eventful to say the least but went by quickly…

 

Indeed, a lot has happened.

For the most part, a pandemic is still being dealt with, social constructs have been thoroughly questioned, and people have globally been demanding change.

Even though change has never been easy to implement, things are slowly changing for the better.

10 Quotes To Inspire Change Within YourselfHere are the 10 best quotes to help you operate change within yourself.

 

  1. Be the change that you wish to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi

  2. Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. – Leo Tolstoy

  3. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself. – C. JoyBell C.

  4. Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved. – Roy T. Bennett

  5. The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind. – Friedrich Nietzsche

  6. Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. – George Bernard Shaw

  7. I have accepted fear as part of life – specifically the fear of change… I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back… – Erica Jong

  8. Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman. – Maya Angelou

  9. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

  10. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. – Wayne W. Dyer

Last Words Of Advice!

Change is difficult to implement and change first starts within ourselves.

Always remember this:

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the water to create many ripples. – Mother Teresa

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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Book Reviews

Secrets Of Six Figure Women: Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life By Barbara Stanny

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Although, most women remain underpaid and make 50% to 80% of what men make, more and more women are earning high salaries.

Women who underearn operate below their potential, have negative beliefs about money, work more for less pay without making the “conscious choice to live with less”.

The reality is that underearning affects your self-confidence, breaks down your lifestyle and limit your opportunities.

To start earning more and to make the right decisions, women need to change the way they think about themselves and their relationship with money.

SECRET 1 “Financial Success Is Possible in Almost Any Field, and Lack of Education Doesn’t Have to Hold You Back.”

Six-Figure women get credentials and go for the highest level of education they can possibly get.

However, they don’t let credentials stop them from achieving success.

SECRET 2 “Working Hard Doesn’t Mean Working All the Time.”

Six-Figure women take pleasure in their work and they work smart.

At the very least, they find jobs that are stimulating and fulfilling.

SECRET 3 “Focus on Fulfilling Your Values Rather Than Financial Gain.”

Women feel that they have to overwork themselves, stay longer hours than their male counterparts in order to attain their ambitions or to compete with men.

However, that lifestyle is not sustainable. High earning women look for signs of fatigue, burnout, a way to get more done in less time, to up their focus and for a way to balance their personal and professional life.

SECRET 4 “Loving What You Do Is Much More Important Than What You Do.”

The put their visions and values before financial gain.

Moreover, they want to live on their own terms.

Focusing on making money only creates an internal void that could never be filled.

SECRET 5 “Feel the Fear. Have the Doubts. Go for It Anyway.”

They are confident and believe in themselves.

They believe that they can do anything they set their minds to.

Of course, they struggle with self-doubt and fears but they somehow manage to overcome those fears or to fake it until they make it.

SECRET 6 “Think in Terms of Trade-offs, Not Sacrifices, to Find a Workable Equilibrium.”

Six-Figure women deal gracefully with social injustices.

They have figure out ways to deal with biases, injustices, racism and sexism with their sense of humor.

SECRET 7 “Sometimes You Just Have to Shrug It Off and Have a Good Laugh.”

They are grateful for what they have and how far they have come.

SECRET 8 “Appreciate Abundance.”

Six-Figure women are not victim of their circumstances.

They refuse to be beaten down or depressed for extended periods of time. Instead, they remain positive and optimistic against all odds.

Review

Secrets Of Six Figure Women: Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life by Barbara Stanny identifies the secrets of six-figure women, understand the traits and the principles that these women live by, so that we can apply these principles to our personal lives.

Secrets Of Six Figure Women: Up Your Earnings and Change Your Life helps you grow internally, expand your mindset, remove self-limiting beliefs, become self-aware, become financially aware and boost your income.

Furthermore, Barbara Stanny aims to shift the mindset from overcoming obstacles to finding in opportunities to increasing your earnings.

She shifts the focus from wage gap to wage gain, from lack to abundance.

Barbara Stanny, a new aged woman with a lot of questions when it comes to the process of women earning six figures, interviews and introduces us to the mindset of high powered and high earning women from all professional background.

I enjoyed the fact that she gave easy and achievable steps into earning more.

I also appreciated that Barbara Stanny tackled the fact that almost every woman and monorities experience the same hardships in the workplace.

Unfortunately, in 2020, not much has changed in corporate. Racism and sexism are still present in most organizations.

Do you have the same experience at home or in the workplace? Has earning a high income created any backlash at home or in The workplace?

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Was holding a high-paying job even worth what I imagined it would entail? Did six-figure women have to work absurdly long hours, forfeit their femininity, forgo their happiness, give up all semblance of a personal life? Did their marriages hold up? Did their children suffer? Did they bear lasting scars from breaking glass ceilings or battling gender bias? Was it possible for anyone to become a high earner? Could I?

What if we shifted the spotlight from women’s plight to women’s progress? What if we turned our attention from what’s wrong with the system and instead analyzed what’s working for those who are succeeding? We’re not ignoring the problem; we’re merely shifting our perspective.

Lawyer Tracy Preston told me the same thing. “If I internalized every time someone said something racist or sexist I wouldn’t be able to function. There’s always some incident that’ll be jarring, but I recognize it’s people’s ignorance. How do I deal with it? As they say, being black in America isn’t easy, so you have to have a sense of humor. Otherwise you’d go crazy.”

Like it or not, money affects virtually every area of your life. Lack of it leads to dependency and hardship. It can limit your access to health care and lifestyle choices. It can keep you in an unhappy marriage and an unsatisfying job. It perpetuates the cycle of poverty and debt, of discontent and chronic stress.

Our state of mind, however, often resembles a rearview mirror. We head toward the future seeing only the images from our past, and then wonder why nothing ever changes. I once heard insanity defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to be different. Given that definition, I can safely say underearning is a form of financial insanity.

The real work in raising the bar is to stop doing the same old thing you’ve always done, to try out new strategies, to ignore false alarms, to resist the urge to quit, and to refuse to fall back into familiar terrain. The ability to tolerate discomfort—doing what might not feel good, but doing it anyway—is the only way you’ll ever complete the path to financial success. It helps to keep in mind that the discomfort is temporary, but the payoff is extraordinary.

You must let go of where you are to get to where you want to go.

men got high marks from their bosses when they were forceful and assertive, but women were downgraded for displaying the same qualities. To be quite candid, the double standard is alive and kicking—assertive men are respected, assertive women are resented.

Ratings 4.5/5

About the author

Barbara Stanny

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4 Essential Learning Skills Every Leader Needs To Know Right Now

by journeytoleadershipblog1 Comment on 4 Essential Learning Skills Every Leader Needs To Know Right Now

Throughout our life, we never stop learning.

By continually learning, you grow and open yourself up to new experiences and ideas.

Acquiring good learning skills builds up your confidence and your willingness to explore.

Wondering what are the essential learning skills that every leader should know?

4 Essential Learning Skills Every Leader Needs To Know Right Now #leaders #leadership #leadershipskills #learningskills #communicationskills #organizationskills #creativity #creativethinking #criticalthinking https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

What are learning skills? 

Learning skills are thinking skills and habits that you acquire in your childhood to help you learn and that you can perfect in adulthood.

Furthermore, learning skills is all about processing useful information, acquiring knowledge, self-regulating and making a sound decision.

Learning include reading, listening, focusing, remembering, confronting your understanding, practicing what you have learned, using the right tools and using time effectively.

1. Critical Thinking Skills

Learning is acquiring knowledge but not all knowledge is useful or will have a positive impact.

Therefore, leaders must develop critical thinking, become attentive to details, be selective of the knowledge that you acquire and store in your brain.

They must be able to think critically, make their own opinion and think independently, create their own experiences and increase self-awareness. They must also be able to classify and track their thoughts and ideas.

Furthermore, leaders must be able to break down, analyze, compare and understand a situation, an event or concept in order to reach a conclusion and take a measured decision.

2. Creative Thinking Skills

Creative thinking is the ability to be creative and to generate ideas.

With a sense of creativity, leaders are authentic, curious, open-minded, adapt easily and are capable of expressing themselves.

They are able to innovate, brainstorm with others, creatively assess a problem and come up with new and out of the box solutions.

3. Communication Skills

There are several ways to convey a message. Some leaders enjoy public speaking, some one on one conversations and others prefer reading or writing down their thoughts.

Leaders must be able to describe, share, argue, persuade, clarify, defend an idea, explain themselves and reach a solid conclusion. That way, they confront their own ideas and understanding.

They are also able to actively listen, evaluate an idea and engage with it.

4. Organizational skills

Organizational skills include time management, goal setting, schedule and event planning, productivity tracking, and progress measurement.

When leaders are organized, they tend to favor a clean and tidy workspace.

Being organized helps them alleviate the mental load, organize their thoughts, focus on the tasks at hand and meet their deadlines.

Organized leaders run the day and don’t let the day run them.

Last Words Of Advice!

Everybody learns differently.

It becomes useful to identify your preferred learning style as soon as possible.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

 

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Book Reviews

The Alchemist By Paulo Coelho

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Santiago, humbly raised in the Spanish countryside, loved to read, wanted to travel, see the world and find his “treasure”.

Instead of being a priest like his parents desired, Santiago became a shepherd in order to wander throughout Andalusia.

The “Young Boy” was obsessed with discovering and accomplishing his Personal Legend.

The Alchemist By Paulo Coelho #books #bookreviews #success #purpose #inspiration https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

The Discovery Of A Personal Legend

Everybody has a mission in life, a Personal Legend.

A Personal Legend is what you Always wanted to accomplish ever since you were young.

In your childhood, realizing your Personal Legend seems clear and feasible. However, the older we get, your belief that you can accomplish your Personal Legend seems to get dismantled by a mysterious force.

This mysterious force, made of negativity, deters you but also shows you how to accomplish what you truly want in Life.

The Courage To Pursue Your Personal Legend

Most people are afraid of following their dreams because they are:

  • Told from childhood that they would never achieve their Personal Legend. So, the dream stays buried deep inside of them.
  • Afraid of hurting the people closest to them, without realizing that those closest to them can help achieve their purpose.
  • Frightened by the many obstacles and failures that arise while pursuing their dreams, even if their life is already challenging enough.
  • Scared of realizing their dreams. They tend to fear success and self-sabotage.

On Your Quest Of Self-Discovery

According to Paulo Coelho, the Universe conspires to help us in accomplishing our Personal Legend.

It puts people on our way, good and bad, to guide us and redirect our course. The people we meet on our journey to accomplishing our Personal Legend are also part of the Journey.

Indeed, we can learn everywhere we go, with whomever we are and from everything.

For example, Santiago who has met a number of people on his quest of accomplishing his Personal Legend.

It first started out with a dream: one night, he had a wonderful dream about the Egyptian Pyramids. Then, he went to an old Gypsy woman to have his dream interpreted.

After that, he went to a village to change his book to a bigger one. While reading his new book at a well, he meets an old man who claims to be an old king of Salem and who encouraged the boy to accomplish his Personal Legend and to believe in Omens.

On his journey towards the Egyptian Pyramids, the Young boy sold his sheep and arrived in Tangier. There, needing to cross the Sahara, he met a Dangerous guide who would run away with his money.

After being robbed, the boy wandered to the door of a Crystal Merchant, whose unachieved dream was to travel to the Mecca and who against all odds gave him food, a place to stay, a job and who treated him fairly.

While crossing the Sahara desert, he bumped into an Englishman, believer in omens, avid reader, who introduced him to the discipline of Alchemy.

Stranded in an Oasis in the desert, he fell in love with Fatima, the woman of the desert who taught him Love and that Nothing should hold him back from accomplishing his Personal Legend.

Finally, while starting to learn the language of the desert, he bumped into the Alchemist who would teach him the language of the world and show him that lead can be turned into gold.

Review

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho explores the themes of following your dreams and achieving self-awareness while doing so.

The Alchemist, through the journey of Santiago the shepherd, helps you identify who and why you are.

This whole book is a metaphor for travel and purpose. Furthermore, each character represents a stage in the life of a person. In addition, I am not used to reviewing fiction but this book was long overdue.

The story of the protagonist Santiago is very relatable, applicable to every stage of our lives, and easily interpreted. Sometimes, we have ups and downs but if we stay focused on our dreams, we really achieve our purpose in the end.

I truly recommend this book for people who have spent their lives not achieving their purpose or who refuse to become bitter. It gives hope and comfort. It lets you know that it is never too late to accomplish your Personal Legend.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.

If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.

“People learn, early in their lives, what is their reason for being,” said the old man, with a certain bitterness. “Maybe that’s why they give up on it so early, too. But that’s the way it is.”

[…]intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life[…]

[…] before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up.

Ratings 4/5

About the author

Paulo Coelho

 

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Book Reviews

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds By David Goggins

by journeytoleadershipblogLeave a Comment on Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds By David Goggins

Western society has an obsession for mediocrity and complacency even though we have great resources to excel and even though our minds are strong and are built to endure whatever challenges we face.

Succeeding and functioning at your highest potential is all a matter of detaching yourself from that system of belief, gaining self-awareness and conquering the mind.

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds By David Goggins #books #bookreviews #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #characterdevelopment #selfimprovement #badhand #canthurtme #accountabilitymirror #discomfortzone #pathofmostresistance #impossibletask #takingsouls #armoredmind #cookiejar https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

#1: Self-limiting beliefs

Inequalities in the system, systemic oppression will always exist but are not the core reason why you are not excelling and functioning at your highest potential.

The truth is you are the one limiting yourself.

That is why you must imperatively identify what is holding you back in life.

To do so, you can:

  • Get a journal and write down your pain, the list of things that are causing you pain.
  • Give shape and name to what is bothering you.
  • Create rituals where you call yourself out, face the hard truth.
  • Set tangible goals for yourself and keep yourself accountable.

By identifying what is limiting you and creating rituals, you will be able to renew your purpose and reinvent yourself.

#2: The path of most resistance

You must understand that in life, there will always be pain. But if you have a purpose, you can overcome that pain and borrow the path of most resistance.

Before starting your mission, you will have to objectively assess your current situation and abolish your ego for it is the cause of all your problems.

On your mission and on the path of most resistance, you might get depressed and discouraged but you have to be convinced that your depression is a sign that you are no longer in your comfort zone.

#3: Taking Souls

In life, you will be confronted with your own demons, bullies who will oppose you for no reason and will face many other challenges.

You have to prepare your mind for eventual opposition and understand that:

  • Challenges reveal your character and your mindset.
  • Pain is finite and you can take on any challenge you want.
  • You must defeat your own demons before you can defeat your opponent.

The Taking Souls strategy is a game that you play with yourself and yourself only by tapping into your own reserve of energy and power. It allows you to easily defeat your opponent and find your inner beast:

  • Know who you are and why you are here and why you are fighting.
  • Find areas in your life that need improvement.
  • Take on tasks that you deem impossible or that make you uncomfortable.
  • List your strengths and weaknesses. Turn your weaknesses into your strengths.
  • List the strengths and weaknesses of your opponent or bully. Bullies are already insecure and unstable so it’s easy to get into their heads.
  • Remember that the easiest way to fight a bully is to help them.

#4: Flipping the script

Every negative experience creates callouses in the mind. When you know how to avoid negative self-talk, to manage your mind and your callouses, then you can choose fight over flight, push through any obstacles and overcome self-doubt.

To build the most stable callous mind there is, to acquire mental toughness and to improve your character, you need to accept your Self, stop running away from your past, face the source of your wounds, fear and insecurities.

For this reason, when you are facing opposition or a negative situation, you have to:

  • Flip the script and stop seeing yourself as the victim of your circumstances.
  • Work the hardest when you want to the least.
  • Seek excellence to outdo your competition.
  • Make your competition admire you and your abilities.

#5: Attaining your goals

Now that you are comfortable with the concept of pain and possess the ability to flip your negative experience, it is time for you to start:

  • Feeding off your pain to overcome challenges and to live the life you want.
  • Painting a picture of what success feels and looks like.
  • Visualizing yourself achieving your goals or overcoming the obstacles standing in your way.
  • Using your past achievements to fuel your news goals.
  • Putting in the work to succeed.

When all is said and done, don’t forget to take the time to celebrate your success.

Review

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds is David Goggins‘ raw and uncut autobiography.

In Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, David Goggins aims to help you use your setbacks as fuel for your success, live a bolder life to your fullest potential, master the mind and use it to its maximum capacity.

David Goggins, intense and pragmatic, shares his hardships and successes in his civilian and military lives. Through his story, he encourages people to stop playing the victim and making self-limiting choices.

To make this short, his story is rooted in pain, very dramatic and hard to read. You basically need to brace yourself for the first chapters where David Goggins recalls his childhood.

Throughout his autobiography, we can observe:

  • The evolution of his relationship with pain and suffering. He went from enduring pain, to insulating himself from it, to embracing it, to enjoying it a little bit too much, to diligently seeking it, to understanding that he is immune to suffering and finally using his pain as a pillar for his success.
  • The shift from Victim to Warrior mentality.
  • The catharsis from depicting his life and transferring his knowledge in a book.
  • His willingness to open old wounds and repair the broken pieces of his life.
  • His weight loss, brutal honesty, resilience, confidence and individual growth.

Furthermore, I couldn’t help to wonder about military life and how they recruit their candidates.

On one hand, does the military hire people who don’t know what to do with their lives, who completely lack purpose or are at their wit’s end? Then, the military breaks them down, builds them up into superhumans, gives them a patriotic purpose, and pours into them their way of thinking to get these superhumans to obey them and do whatever they want without asking questions?

On the other hand, according to David Goggins, “Hell Week is designed to show you that a human is capable of much more than you know. It opens your mind to the true possibilities of human potential, and with that comes a change in your mentality.”.

Needless to say, it’s amazing what these soldiers put their mind and body through but still survive. I wonder if they know how much they lose or gain mentally and emotionally doing so? If they are able to function outside of that institution and with that level of trauma?

Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds should definitely be called “How to make the best out of the worst”.

While reading this book, you will experience a lot of sadness, twisted experiences, inspirational and funny perspectives on life. Just life!

As much as I had a hard time reading this book, I couldn’t put it down.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Nobody likes to hear the hard truth. Individually and as a culture, we avoid what we need to hear most. This world is fucked up, there are major problems in our society. We are still dividing ourselves up along racial and cultural lines, and people don’t have the balls to hear it! The truth is racism and bigotry still fucking exist and some people are so thin-skinned they refuse to admit that.

There is no more time to waste. Hours and days evaporate like creeks in the desert. That’s why it’s okay to be cruel to yourself as long as you realize you’re doing it to become better. We all need thicker skin to improve in life.

I looked at the people who were making me feel uncomfortable and realized how uncomfortable they were in their own skin. To make fun of or try to intimidate someone they didn’t even know based on race alone was a clear indication that something was very wrong with them, not me.

Self-improvement takes dedication and self-discipline.

The first step on the journey toward a calloused mind is stepping outside your comfort zone on a regular basis.

Until you experience hardships like abuse and bullying, failures and disappointments, your mind will remain soft and exposed. Life experience, especially negative experiences, help callous the mind.

Ratings 4.5/5

About the author

David Goggins

 

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Book Reviews

Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones By James Clear

by journeytoleadershipblogLeave a Comment on Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones By James Clear

Atomic Habits are small habits that are essential to your overall improvement and that seem insignificant at first sight but that can create powerful outcomes if practiced regularly…

Atomic Habits help you grow in confidence, overcome setbacks and fulfill your potential.

Habits create freedom by removing the need to make decisions about simple tasks and by allowing your mind to focus on other challenges.

Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones By James Clear #habits #book #books #bookreviews #leadership #atomichabits @jamesclear journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. Improvements & Atomic Habits

There is tremendous value in improving incrementally thanks to the power of small habits.

Truthfully, incremental improvements are not noticeable right away but become meaningful and make a difference in the long run.

That’s because, small good habits compound themselves into big results and bad habits into toxic results. However, these habits will place you on the path to success.

The only thing, to see the results of your habits, to track your progress, you need to implement these habits long enough in order to cross what James Clear calls the Plateau of Latent Potential.

To get over the Plateau of Latent Potential, you need to avoid setting goals. Instead, you may have to set up a system to make actionable progress and to create better habits.

2. Building & Changing Habits

Changing habits is difficult because we try to change the wrong thing or we try to change the wrong way.

Furthermore, change is especially difficult when your identity is in direct conflict with the habit you want to develop, if you are too attached to your identity or believe that your identity is set in stone.

To change the right way, you need to make a shift in your identity, rework your system of belief and make this habit become an intrinsic part of your identity.

In turn, your identity will gradually be molded by your habits and the belief that you have the power to change whichever habit you want.

3. The Four Laws of Behavior Change

Before trying to change, we must be aware of the old habits that have held you back and have most likely become automatic and unconscious.

You can make a list of your habits and ask yourself objectively whether or not these habits help you become the person you want to be. You don’t need to evaluate, congratulate or criticize yourself while doing so. 

To create better habits, you can follow the Four Laws of Behavior Change:

  1. Make the habit obvious
  2. Make the habit attractive
  3. Make the habit easy
  4. Make the habit satisfying

1. Make the habit obvious

You can make it obvious by clarifying the habits you want to acquire.

You have to make it clear when, where and how you want this new habit to take place.

You can set your habits at a particular time and location, you can group them with other habits or you can set up your environment to stimulate the said habit and to encourage self-discipline. 

2. Make the habit attractive

Habits become more attractive if you can associate them with things you already enjoy, if you surround yourself with people who already have that attractive habit or if you shift your perspective and change the way you talk to yourself.

Making your habits attractive motivates you to act because you definitively expect a reward.

3. Make the habit easy

To build up a habit, it is important to practice. To make practicing effective, you must make it easy because it is human nature to preserve energy, reduce the amount of work and follow the Law of Least Effort.

Therefore, to make a habit easy, you canu must make it easy because it is human nature to preserve energy, reduce the amount of work and follow the Law of Least Effort.

Therefore, to make a habit easy, you can remove any element of friction associated with the habit, set up your environment to ease yourself into the habit or practice a small habit for at least 2 minutes that will progressively grow into the habit that you desire.

4. Make the habit satisfying

People are more likely to repeat a habit if the experience was satisfying.

However, people often look for immediate satisfaction even if most satisfactions in society are delayed and even if a fundamental truth for success states that delayed gratification leads to greater rewards.

So to build a successful habit, you need to ensure to receive immediate gratification once in a while.

Review

Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones, James Clear shares his traumatic story of how he recovered in his youth from an accident and how he realized, through this experience, that small good habits can help you overcome setbacks and fulfill your potential.

Moreover, it shows you that if the reason for building a habit is strong enough then you can bear anything to succeed.

Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones should be called “How to develop the best habits the best way possible”. Every single sentence made for a great quote.

This book has been eye opening in understanding my habits and their in the affirmation of my identity.

Very insightful, it makes you analyze your present, think about the meaning and the impact of your actions on your future life. To develop new habits is very much a self-awareness exercise.

In addition, James Clear provides fundamental principles that you can rely on. He teaches you how to provoke good habits and destroy bad ones, to shift your focus from your goals towards building a structure, system and habits to achieve said goals. 

I recommend it for anyone who is struggling to get it together and don’t know where to start. For anyone seeking to rework their habits, it is imperative to get an accountability partner, track your habits and measure your progress.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement.

Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.

Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.

All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny
decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots
entrench themselves and branches grow.

A habit is a behavior that has been repeated enough times to become automatic.

Our preference for instant gratification reveals an important truth about success:
because of how we are wired, most people will spend all day chasing quick hits of
satisfaction. The road less traveled is the road of delayed gratification. If you’re willing to wait for the rewards, you’ll face less competition and often get a bigger payoff. As the saying goes, the last mile is always the least crowded.

Ratings 4/5

About the author

James Clear

 

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