The Importance Of Assertive Leadership | 9 Truths Of Assertive Leaders

Being assertive is difficult to some people.

Indeed, women – especially minorities – have the hardest time being assertive in the workplace.

Depending on society’s norms, corporate culture, personal fears, gender or ethnical background, being assertive can be perceived as being aggressive, bossy or disrespectful.

Wondering how to become a more assertive leader?

The Importance Of Assertive Leadership | 9 Truths Of Assertive Leaders

What is assertiveness?

Assertiveness is a useful communication style that helps people create a well balanced life and relate to people easily.

With this communication style, assertive leaders acknowledge the importance of their thoughts and opinions, honestly express their thoughts and opinions, understand that their behavior – and theirs only – is within their control.

The benefits of assertive leadership?

The corporate world talks about confidence in leadership more that we talk about assertiveness.

Assertive leadership is being able to take a position, speak up and speak your mind. Assertive leaders:

  • Have control over their lives.
  • Have clear boundaries.
  • Have great relationships.
  • Listen to the needs of others.
  • Choose to fulfill the need of others.
  • Have respect for themselves and for others.
  • Get respect from their coworkers.
  • Are serene and are unafraid of conflicts.
  • Don’t try to people please or to seek outside validation.
  • Are able to calmly and honestly express their needs and wants.

Being assertive is a skill that takes time to harness.

Assertiveness cannot be obtained overnight. It takes practice, self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

Assertive leaders stand by several truths, that they apply on a daily basis.

Truth #1. Everybody has an opinion

Assertive leaders understand that everybody has an opinion that they are entitled to.

They know that they are entitled to their own opinions and that their opinions have value.

They don’t have to apologize for their opinion. Instead, they own them.

They don’t let outside opinion define them and they can agree to disagree.

Truth #2. Self-awareness is key

Assertive leaders are self-aware, understand that they matter and their opinion has value.

Assertive leaders believe that their feelings, emotions and opinions are valid and important.

Their thoughts and decisions are their own even when they don’t make sense.

They have disciplined their emotions and can assess every situation that they go through.

Truth #3. Building confidence

Assertive leaders are confident about their abilities and nurture their self-esteem.

It is the belief in our abilities to perform, to get results from our performance, in our worth and in our opinion of ourselves.

In addition, they are attentive to their needs and wants.

They do not seek the approval of others.

They know their strengths, weaknesses and limitations.

Truth #4. Being authentic

Assertive leaders are authentic and are honest with themselves.

Assertive leaders express who they truly are and what they really feel.

Moreover, people are able to freely express themselves around assertive leaders.

Truth #5. Walking with integrity

Assertive leaders act with integrity.

They are walking and talking role models.

When they speak, they mean what they say and say what they mean.

Truth #6. Take back control

Assertive leaders are in control.

They have control over their lives, their emotions and their behavior.

They take risks, take responsibility for their actions and don’t try to solve others people problem for them.

Furthermore, they seek to influence but not to control or manipulate.

Truth #7. Failure is a stepping stone

Assertive leaders are unafraid of failure.

They understand that everybody makes mistakes all the time.

They see failure as a stepping stone to success. Mistakes don’t mean that they are not in control or that the rest of their decisions will be mistakes.

Needless to say, they don’t let their failures define them.

Truth #8. No is an answer

Assertive leaders will politely and respectfully retain the right to say no.

They say no without feeling the need to justify themselves.

They don’t have to accept every opportunity that is brought up to you.

Just remember there are different ways to say no.

Truth #9. Conflict is inevitable

Assertive leaders stand up for themselves and don’t avoid conflict because conflict is inevitable.

Assertive leaders speak up when things go wrong, when a topic has deep meaning to them.

They pick their battles. They don’t have to go around looking for fights, sharing their unwanted opinion and overpowering the opinions of others.

They listen before they speak and don’t minimize divergent opinions.

However, they are unafraid of hurting people’s feelings, of making people uncomfortable or emotional.

Last Words Of Advice!

People are not assertive because they fear judgement, rejection, conflict, challenging the status quo etc…

If you cannot be assertive in a moment, save face by:

  • Requiring some time to think, to reconsider, to schedule a response.
  • Practicing what you have to say in the mirror with the proper voice tone.
  • Trying to write down what you want to say.
  • Making an assertion and not explaining yourself.
  • Communicating clearly, honestly and directly.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

You do not have to be famous, be a millionaire or own a company in the Fortune 500 to be a successful leader.

A successful leader runs a successful business with a healthy return on investment with the help of a successful team.

A successful leader is able to mentally, emotionally, physically and financially provide for his or her team.
Wondering what are the main traits a successful leader?

14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

To become a successful leader, there are a few traits that you need to develop.

The traits of succesful leaders can be acquired anytime in life.

However, it is up to you to maintain them. It will also require a lot of self-discipline, self-motivation and self-awareness.

Trait #1. Successful leaders lead a healthy lifestyle

First and foremost, successful leaders are morning people.

They get a good night sleep.

They wake up early in the morning.

They choose to rise with the sun because it gives them time to think, to meditate, to plan their day.

Furthermore, they eat well and on time.

them, they exercise early in the morning to maintain their physical health, and to get rid of lingering negativity.

Trait #2. Successful leaders have strong conviction

They have the conviction that they are successful and that they will succeed no matter what.

Their conviction comes from their self-awareness, drive, purpose and their strong core values.

They have integrity and hold on to their principles.

They know that they can accomplish anything that they set their mind to.

They rely on their intuition, make their own opinion and don’t follow anyone.

Trait #3. Successful leaders manage their time effectively

They know how to manage their time and prioritize their tasks.

They are willing to handle the most difficult, most important and the most urgent first.

They say no to things that don’t matter to them or to things that don’t fit into the bigger picture.

Trait #4. Successful leaders value solitude

They regularly spend time alone to reflect and to get work done.

Trait #5. Successful leaders own up to their mistake

Indeed, they make mistakes.

They can admit when they have done wrong and can apologize for it.

They reward themselves for their successes and above all learn from their failures.

Trait #6. Successful leaders take calculated risks

They take risks, get out of their comfort zones, recognize what works and what doesn’t.

Trait #7. Successful leaders ask for feedback

They ask for feedback, actively listen to it, and if the feedback is sound, seek to apply it.

Trait #8. Successful leaders set boundaries

They have set clear boundaries in their mind early on.

They know what they need, want, wish for.

They also know what they will not allow or stand for.

They know how to say no and stand their ground.

Trait #9. Successful leaders obsess positively

Leaders spend their time obsessing positively.

By “obsessing positively”, I mean they are passionate and they can focus their attention on their goals for a prolonged amount of time.

Basically, they eat, drink, sleep, think their goals.

Trait #10. Successful leaders have a healthy work life balance

Even though they can obsess over their professional goals, they make time for a personal life.

They make sure to maintain a healthy work life balance.

Trait #11. Successful leaders are optimistic

They are grateful for what they have but are not complacent.

They do not dwell on negativity and CHOOSE to focus on positivity.

They don’t overthink or overanalyze everything.

They don’t play the victim and take responsibility for their actions.

They handle change, failures and pressure gracefully.

They see challenges as an opportunity to learn and they maintain a positive attitude in adversity.

Trait #12. Successful leaders are whole

Their self-esteem does not depend on what others think of them.

They don’t compare their lives with the ones of other people.

They don’t judge but empathize with other people.

They don’t insult but compliment people.

They don’t abuse their authority or power.

They don’t hug the spotlight but give credit when credit is due.

They do not need to harm someone else to feel superior or to feel whole.

They know who, how and when to forgive.

Moreover, they want to see others succeed. They encourage others to grow, to succeed and reach their full potential.

Trait #13. Successful leaders are wise beyond their years

They have a deep understanding of life and of themselves.

They can assess a situation and its outcome before engaging in it.

They have identified their purpose early in life and every decision that they make can be justified.

Trait #14. Successful leaders are learning machines

They are open-minded.

They are always learning, always evolving and always growing.

They understand that learning is a never-ending process, no matter their age or status.

On the flip side, they constantly want to share their knowledge with the world.

Last Words Of Advice!

Successful people inspire and act as role models for others and for their own organization.

Therefore, be mindful of your actions and of your words.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Unfortunately, we have all experienced toxic leadership at some point in our career.

Toxic workplaces and toxic leadership foster because the leader is either encouraging it, participating in it or ignoring it.

Toxic leaders are corrosive on the long run. They erode their employees confidence, motivation, productivity, trust, loyalty and respect.

Wondering if you are a toxic leader or are in the presence of one?

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

#1. Toxic leaders retain useful information

Knowledge is power and toxic leaders know that.

The longer they can keep you in the dark, the longer they have control over you and the longer they stay in power.

In fact, leaders who retain information are insecure and are afraid of being replaced.

#2. Toxic leaders abuse their power and authority

Any chance that they get, toxic leaders need to remind you that they are in power and that they have leverage (financial leverage most of the time) over you.

This type of leaders have huge egos, consider that their employees are subordinates, and do not care who they have to step over to get what they want.

#3. Toxic leaders micromanage their employees

They don’t give people the time or the space to do their job. Instead, they breath down people’s neck.

In fact, micromanaging leaders are counterproductive and create a stressful work environment.

Which, in turn, slows down team work and efficiency.

#4. Toxic leaders condone poor behavior

They accept poor behavior from their team as long as the team produces results.

For example, they would tolerate workplace bullying if it would bring their team closer together.

In turn, they use fear and diverse punishments to incentivize their team.

#5. Toxic leaders manipulate and play aggressive office politics

They play mind games, use information about you against you, love to manipulate and gas light their own team just to stay in power and to advance their career.

#6. Toxic leaders shift responsibility

They talk about accountability but when push comes to shoves they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Besides, when things are great, they take credit for your success. When things go bad, they question your abilities and your failures.

#7. Toxic leaders give orders and don’t expect feedback

For them, it is their way or the high way.

They expect you to follow orders whether that order is right or wrong, whether that order benefits them or not.

The truth is they think that they know best but they actually don’t.

#8. Toxic leaders lie for no reason

They backtrack, bend the rules, adjust procedures, make up stories and rumors to for their needs.

They do not care about the impact of their words and create a culture of distrust.

#9. Toxic leaders protect the status quo

They deeply believe in hierarchy.

They don’t promote change or push innovative ideas.

In addition, they are locked in a particular era, in a particular setting. They don’t wish to modernize or adapt to change.

#10. Toxic leaders are overly emotional

They dramatize everything, have a temper and haven’t got a hold of it.

Their mood usually fluctuates throughout the day.

As a result, their behavior makes people walk on eggshells around them.

#11. Toxic leaders are passive aggressive

Either they play nice to your face and stab you in the back.

Or, they hold their feelings in and act it out instead.

Passive aggressiveness is very difficult to deal with as they don’t offer you any type of resolve.

#12. Toxic leaders lack core values

These leaders are entitled and self-serving.

They do not care about people and put their own interest first, no matter what.

Last Words Of Advice!

Toxic leaders often scare away their best employees.

Toxic leaders are simply fooling themselves because they live in constant fear.

They are afraid of losing control, of losing power, of seeming inferior, of being replaceable…

Furthermore, they let their fear control them and influence their behavior.

It is not necessary for you to play into their hands:

  • Learn from your experiences, about yourself and your limits. You can always extract lessons from a negative experience.
  • Emotionally and physically discipline yourself. Don’t lose your cool. By loosing your cool, you are giving them power over you.
  • Don’t take things personally and don’t let their problems become yours. It’s not about you but it’s all about them.
  • Find emotional support outside of work.
  • Keep your dignity. Don’t let other people actions define your character.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone is a guide to set goals, reach and retain success in any area of your life.

The 10X Rule will help you to define your version of success and to repetitively create extraordinary levels of success.

What is the 10X Rule?

The 10X Rule is achieving success by putting in 10 times the effort and the action that the average person would.

The 10X Rule means acting towards your goals with 10 times the right mindset.

Why is the 10X Rule vital?

Estimating the  right amount of effort and time to invest in your goals will help you reach your target without moving the finish line.

Furthermore, multiplying your effort by 10 will allow you to predict issues and to be prepared.

By using the 10X Rule, you will be able to:

  • Stick to your guns and not be distracted.
  • Define your own version of success.
  • Make a plan for your life.
  • Filter out goals that have been imposed on you.
  • Set your own limits and aim for the impossible.
  • Set a positive and sustainable mindset.
  • Implement your own system of belief.
  • Properly estimate your abilities.
  • Tap into your full potential.
  • Work without it feeling like work.

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone

How to achieve higher levels of success?

Success is having a purposeful life and its realization is your responsibility.

In addition, success is important for your personal growth, for your sense of self and for your well-being.

Success depends on your stage in life and shouldn’t be minimized.

Success is not a popularity contest. - Grant Cardone, in The 10X Rule Click To Tweet

To achieve higher levels of success:

1. Do not play the victim or make excuses

It is detrimental to take responsibility for your actions, to find solutions, take action and gain more control of your life.

2. Relinquish control

In life and at work, you will not control everything. However, you can control how you respond to everything.

3. Be the solution

Understand that you can be the solution and the problem to your situation, at the same time.

4. Do not try to be average

Being average and facing average difficulties will not lead you to success.

People who operate on the average level tend to try to overestimate results, underestimate difficulties, steal success from those who operate at the 10X level.

5. Do not rest on your laurels

Resting on your laurels is the surest way to get overpowered and to lose sight of your goals.

6. Set your goals

Goal-setting plays an important part in your success.

  • Set your goals high enough so you do not fail, so you resist adversity and maintain your enthusiasm.
  • Speak your goals into reality on a daily basis.
  • Align your goals with your purpose.
  • Clearly define your goals.
  • Verify that your goals are equal to your potential.
  • Understand that your goals are personal.

7. Avoid competing with others

When you compete with others, you spend more time watching what someone else is doing rather than creating and setting the pace.

It becomes critical to find your niche, dominate your field and do what others are not willing to do.

8. Be mindful of the company you keep

The people you associate with determine your level of success.

Before joining a group, analyze the pros and the cons of belonging to this group.

9. Get obsessed over success

Obsession is not all negative. Obsession can be converted into action and can be conveyed.

Being obsessed will push you to make things work.

Get obsessed over success.

Get obsessed over every possibilities and every action that will take you towards your goals.

10. Go all in

Going all in means fully committing to your goals and possibly over-delivering.

No matter what, understand that:

  • It is OK put all your eggs in one basket and to over-commit.
  • You can and will fail as many times as you will and can succeed.

11. Embrace fear

Take fear as a sign to keep doing what you actually fear and to keep applying the 10X rule because:

  • Fear means that you are growing.
  • Fear means you are doing something uncomfortable.
  • Your moment is now. There isn’t a good time to take action.

12. Value your time

Time is of the essence. To achieve success: manage your time effectively, maximize your time, set your priorities, create a healthy work-life balance.

13. Do not be afraid of criticism

Criticism means that you are on your way to success when you start taking action.

The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity. - Grant Cardone, in The 10X Rule Click To Tweet

Review

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone is an inspirational and motivational book, written for leaders, entrepreneurs and anyone who wishes to be successful.

It forces you to reevaluate your goals, your purpose and your definition of success.

It encourages you to take risks, “act, produce and create in massive quantities regardless of the situation or circumstances.”

It demonstrates how to be and stay the leader in any field. The 10X Rule focuses on your character, your mindset and your goal-setting skills.

Most of the time, we struggle to reach our goals and don’t understand why. But, Grant Cardone makes it very clear that:

  • You must be self-aware and self-assured.
  • You are the only one that stands  in front of your goals.
  • Success depends integrally on the effort, time and energy that you put in.
  • Most of what society claims to be wrong is an inherent part of success.

To Grant Cardone  success is a mindset and is determined by your purpose.

The 10X Rule is not a get rich quick trick. Remember:

  • All goals are difficult to achieve.
  • You will always face some type of adversity.
  • You must assess your abilities and your resources.
  • Your goals must be extraordinary, appropriate and require motivation.
  • Success must be constantly maintained.
  • You current state doesn’t matter.
  • The way you are perceived doesn’t matter.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

When you have underestimated the time, energy, and effort necessary to do something, you will have “quit” in your mind, voice, posture, face, and presentation. You won’t develop the persistence necessary to get your mission accomplished.

Never take the position that things just happen to you; rather, they happen because of something you did or did not do.

Until a person is done being a victim, he or she is unable to create solutions and success. That person only has problems.

The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity.

If you are not creating new problems for yourself, then you aren’t taking enough action.

Success is not a popularity contest.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Grant Cardone

14 Common Mistakes That New Leaders Make

New leaders get into leadership positions by demonstrating greater skills, higher levels of emotional intelligence, better expertise than the teams they were in.

However, for new leaders, mistakes are common and quasi inevitable.

Mistakes show you what you are made of, what you need to succeed, what you need to redirect your career, what you are missing to improve your character.

Wondering what are the common mistakes to avoid as a new leader?

Mistakes don’t directly lead to success but it can show you the way. It is best when they come to light rather than going unnoticed.

When mistakes are made, it makes sense for us to focus on what we have done right, on our strengths rather than our weaknesses.

14 Common Mistakes That New Leaders Make

14 Common Mistakes That New Leaders Make

#1. New leaders ego-trip

Some new leaders want to bring attention to themselves, to demonstrate their self-importance and their superiority.

They usually overstep their boundaries, put down their “subordinates” and come off as arrogant. It is safe to say that:

  • They lack self-confidence and self-awareness.
  • Their ego is fragile. They surround themselves with yes men and people who strike their ego.
  • They are entitled to their position and don’t understand that the position requires work and humility.

#2. New leaders power-trip

Leaders who power-trip lack humility and self-discipline.

They use their new position to impose their authority, to remind their “subordinates” that they have power over them and to exact revenge on coworkers that they didn’t like.

Needless to say, power tripping can damage trust and workplace morale.

#3. New leaders don’t deal with their imposter syndrome

New leaders let their imposter syndrome sabotage their efforts.

Leaders with imposter syndrome don’t believe that they are due to their position, don’t believe that they have succeeded thanks to their gifts.

Some of them are insecure, tend to feel like frauds and are afraid of being unmasked.

Some are overzealous. They want to do things their way, be the catalysts of change, challenge the status quo almost immediately.

Some overwork, they show off their skills and try to prove themselves.

Others expect perfection and not excellence.

#4. New leaders don’t know who they are

New leaders are generally unaware of who they are, how they are seen, how they should contribute and of what they now represent.

That is because new leaders:

#5. New leaders don’t update their mindset

Becoming a leader is a long and never-ending process.

However, new leaders have to quickly update their mindset to keep up with their teams.

They have to change their focus from frontliner to strategist, to doing from ordering, to performing a task to planning meetings.

Firstly, they must make a pact with themselves to grow and to improve.

Secondly, they must constantly monitor their words, attitudes and actions.

#6. New leaders don’t understand the requirements of their position

Leadership is not about the title or the position. It is about character, attitude and influence. New to their roles, most leaders:

  • Don’t grasp that being a boss, being a manager and being a leader are different.
  • Think “position” automatically implies “authority”.
  • Don’t understand their job description.
  • Don’t fully understand or commit to their role.
  • Fail to see the bigger picture.
  • Get overwhelmed by their positions.
Leadership is not about the title or the position. It is about character, attitude and influence. - Vanessa Sylvester Click To Tweet

#7. New leaders stop learning

Even though new leaders think that they can handle their position with their old skills and their old knowledge, most of them don’t have the necessary skills to be a leader.

New leaders face new responsibilities that they don’t have the skills for and :

  • Are too afraid to ask questions and to ask for help.
  • Take too long before initiating leadership training.
  • Have to learn new skills quickly, autonomously, and most importantly apply them.

#8. New leaders stick to traditional leadership styles

Autocratic and commanding leadership styles, though common and easy, are outdated, are rigid, and don’t work anymore, especially with millennials.

People are more comfortable and are able to perform at their best with a democratic leadership style.

Today, millennials expect validation, recognition, rewards, a more deconstructed workplace that is fun, relaxed, motivational yet productive and structured.

They want to understand their role, the impact of their contributions at work, to be involved in the decision-making process, to learn continually and to own their work.

#9. New leaders don’t cater to their past and present relationships

Some leaders stop valuing people, start ignoring their teams and their past relationships. Instead, they tend to:

  • Disconnect from their teams. For instance, they don’t listen to their team and don’t measure their words.
  • Avoid conversations, small talk and nurturing new relationships.
  • Avoid collaboration and do everything themselves.
  • Focus on the results.

Leaders who don’t focus on people are seen to be snobs, insensitive, inattentive.

Dismissing relationships can easily create misunderstandings and conflicts because people have no barometer to measure your intentions, speech or behavior.

#10. New leaders run away from conflicts

New leaders aim to please at first. They sugarcoat, don’t address awkward dynamics, avoid conflicts, run away from difficult conversations, want to be liked and not respected.

They don’t speak up when they have to. For example, they don’t communicate expectations don’t correct employee mistakes when they have to, are no longer transparent because they are afraid of judgement and of losing their position.

In addition, they comply too often because they are not confident about their abilities.

Even if it is sometimes wise to avoid conflict, this strategy is not sustainable.

#11. New leaders shut down dissenting voices

New leaders must get comfortable with people who cause dissent even though the latter are natural catalysts, and easily take risks.

Dissenting voices within the organization usually have a bad reputation.

They are not welcomed in groups, go against the grain, are seen as not playing by the rules, are stifled, are the ones that end up being fired.

#12. New leaders don’t delegate

At entry level, we want to control people, do everything ourselves, be on top of everything all at once and find it hard to delegate.

Some leaders don’t know how to delegate, don’t want to delegate or just find it plain hard to do so. Indeed, it is a hard task because it requires that they:

  • Give instructions to their employees.
  • Have faith in the workers, be comfortable depending on others and believe that the work will be up to standards.
  • Have confidence in their personal abilities and do not be afraid of being upstaged.
  • Do not feel guilty that they are giving too much work to their employees because they were once in their place.

#13. New Leaders fail to navigate office politics

They don’t fully understand the politics at work and don’t take time to grasp it.

It is important that they:

  • Address internal conflicts and discontinue previous leadership issues.
  • Stay aware of the new power struggles. Indeed, they will be compared to previous leaders and compare themselves to previous leaders, have to deal with jealousy and insubordination at first, have to face judgement and backlash from their coworkers.
  • Avoid talking negatively about the previous leader, gossiping about their coworkers with the coworkers.
  • Do not try to belong to a group in particular or try to be friends with their former colleagues.

#14. New leaders don’t take accountability for their actions

They don’t take accountability for their own actions.

Instead, they tend to shift blame, find a scapegoat, are afraid of the words “I don’t know”.

Furthermore, they take credit and don’t shine light on their high performing employees.

Last Words Of Advice!

Mistakes are inevitable, are a factor for change and for:

  • Humbling us and discovering our authentic selves.
  • Exhibiting our vulnerabilities, limitations and blind spots.
  • Showing us what works and what doesn’t.
  • Removing us from our comfort zones.
  • Helping us prioritize and go to the essentials.
  • Teaching us to forgive and to be less hard on ourselves, how to explore and experiment in life, how to learn and change.
  • Making us more resourceful, more resilient, more self-disciplined and building our problem solving skills.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

All day, we are bombarded with things that we are supposed to care about. In the end, we are made to think that we should care about those things.

Therefore, we constantly feel the need to look for better in order to impress, to feel insecure, to fake emotions, to compare ourselves with others and to live a “good” life.

Truthfully, to be successful, to live a good life and to overcome those feelings, it is detrimental to confront painful emotions, to care less about pain and to care more about what is important.

The Meaning To Not Giving A F**k

Caring too much about futile things is a sign that you don’t have anything better going on in your life. However, not caring is liberating. By caring less, Mark Manson means:

  • Stop trying so hard and stop investing too much energy in things.
  • Pursue failures and not  success, pain and not pleasure. Failures eventually lead to success and confronting negativity leads to growth.
  • Embrace negative emotions and use your pain as a tool.
  • Take action even though your circumstances and emotions are overwhelming.
  • Discern the situations and the people who matter.
  • Understand that life is short and there is no time to waste on futility.
  • Be authentic and “comfortable with being different”.
  • Choose something to care about that matters more than adversity.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

How To Not Giving A F**k?

There are a few principles to practice in order to care less:

  1. Understand that pain is inevitable, incessant yet it is necessary. It triggers change and helps us avoid making the same mistakes.
  2. Understand that you cannot control everything and that life will always throw you curve balls. Everything in life requires sacrifice.
  3. Understand that you’ll be fine no matter what.
  4. Don’t base your life and reactions on your emotions.
  5. Don’t repress your emotions. Instead, use your negative emotions to motivate you and to do better.
  6. Take action in order to create positive emotions.
  7. Accept yourself. Get comfortable with yourself and with failure. It doesn’t make sense to avoid failure. Failure is painful but it boosts change and welcomes success.
  8. Control your thoughts.
  9. Change your values to build your character.
  10. We all care about something and it’s impossible not to. You must just figure out what level of pain you are willing to sustain.
  11. Acknowledge that if some people take you seriously and consider you as a change agent, others will make fun at you and see you as an embarrassment.
  12. Take responsibility for your problems and for your experiences.
  13. Acknowledge your ignorance or lack of knowledge. Invest in your personal growth nad challenge your beliefs.
  14. Don’t avoid rejection. Learn to handle rejection and to say no in return.
  15. Be conscious of your own death. Don’t be afraid of your own death. Let the possibility of death transform you and give your life meaning.

Review

To be frank, I heard a lot about The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k By Mark Manson. Not only was I intrigued by the title but by the press around this book.

As the year goes by, we see the emergence of a lot of books with a colorful language. The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k By Mark Manson is a motivational book that encourages transformation. It promotes the need to be honest with yourself, to determine your limitations, your strengths and weaknesses.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k is a funny book with far-fetched metaphors. Yet, it is honest about itself. It:

  • Warns us to be selective on the things that we care about.
  • Promotes the concept of not caring about what people think, of not letting people or our emotions overwhelm you.
  • Denounces life’s false expectations and disillusion.
  • Demonstrates how life is imperfect.
  • Stops you from seeking for outside validation, searching for bigger and better, living in the superlatives, from trying to impress, from maintaining appearances, feeling the need to prove ourselves to society and from promoting a fake life on social media.

Besides the use of colorful language, it is very similar to the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg Mckeown.

It is written as motivation for millennials, for overthinkers, for chronic worriers and for the overly emotional for whom not caring would be liberating.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And,
paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive
experience.

This book will help you think a little bit more clearly about what you’re choosing to find important in life and what you’re choosing to find unimportant.

We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Mark Manson

Mark Manson

MEET THE AUTHOR

Mark Manson is an internet entrepreneur and a blogger at markmanson.net. Mark Manson is also the bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.