Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life By Gary John Bishop

Self talk is everything. Matter of fact, it has been proven that negative self talk has tremendous impact on your health and your level of success.

Indeed, we can determine our emotions and actions by steering our thoughts. We can then control out thoughts by monitoring our self talk and the language we use. We can finally use strong and assertive language when speaking to and about ourselves.

There are several principles to change your mindset, to unf*** yourself and to achieve true success.

1. Your life won’t change until you make it

You must understand that you:

  • Have the life that you are willing to put up with.
  • Are not defined by your circumstances but only how you respond to them.
  • Even if you have no control over life events, you have full control of how you respond to it.

So, it is imperative that you stop playing the victim, stop blaming others, stop blaming luck, your childhood and other external influences for your circumstances.

You must also find out what you are willing or unwilling to pursue and put up with.

2. You will succeed at whatever you set your mind to

The reality is that you are already winning at the life you have.

Your failures and hurts are hidden victories that are pushing towards your subconscious goals in whatever domain you are working in.

You will find out sooner or later that you are really good at what you believe, at realizing your assumptions about yourself.

Therefore, once you understand that principle, you can use that aspect of our mind to go after positive goals.

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life By Gary John Bishop #books #bookreview #overcomefear #success

3. It’s all a matter of perspective

Negative experiences have a tendency to spread like wildfire. It seeps through our everyday life and turn small problems into bigger ones.

The reality is everybody has problems but your problem is not always as big as it seems. To put things into perspective:

  • Don’t allow your struggles to overlap with different aspects of your life.
  • Take several steps back until you have a clear logical view of your problems.
  • Face your past and future. You have probably faced these same problems in the past or worse and have overcome them. Looking back at your past, you will realize how ridiculous some problems now seem.
  • Believe that the future has great things in store for you. 
  • Solve problems one by one.

4. You must take risks to be successful

We are obsessed with a need for safety and for certainty. Subsequently, we have stopped taking risks.

At some point in your life, you were taking risks.

Those risks have now become an inherent part of your routine. The moment you stop taking risks is the moment your life becomes flat and unsuccessful.

To be successful, you have to be willing to take risks, to face uncertainty, to look stupid and to be judged.

5. You are not your feelings

What you think and what you do are two different things and won’t necessarily align.

Most successful people and overachievers have understood that principle.

They feel the negative feelings but focus and act independently from their thoughts.

You don’t have to feel like it to act like it. By acting or by fully immersing yourself in activities, you reduce the amount of negative thoughts that you experience.

6. Success is waiting outside of your comfort zone

Some of your biggest achievements happened when you stepped out your comfort zone.

The more you remove yourself from your comfort zone, the more you will feel a sense of accomplishments when you succeed.

7. You have to be relentless

To get what you want, you have to be relentless, avoid distractions and disagree with negative thoughts.

You also have to start focusing on the problems in front of you, one obstacle at a time.

You don’t give up, you don’t quit, you don’t change your plans.

8. Your expectations won’t always be met

Remember that you have the freedom to choose.

Life and opportunities will never fully meet your expectations.

That’s why you have to learn to expect nothing and accept everything.

Review

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop, is designed for people who feel stuck in life, who lack introspection and who need to build themselves up from the inside out.

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life teaches you how to talk to yourself, to find your true potential, to stop self sabotage and being offended.

Gary John Bishop repurposed the ancient principles of stoicism and shares tips on how to master your mind in order to be successful.

He also provides you with great words of affirmation and personal assertions. So, check it out!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.

It’s entirely within our power to determine how we think about and talk about our problems. They can be a nuisance or a stepping stone. They can hold us down or lift us up.

everything is solve-able, and if you can’t see a solution, it only means you haven’t worked it out yet.

Success is never certain. It never comes without risk.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Gary John Bishop

 

 

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Gary John Bishop

MEET THE AUTHORGary John Bishop is the New York Times best selling author of Unfuk Yourself & of Stop Doing That Sht.

The Successful Introvert By Wendy Gelberg

Many introverts evolve in society feeling like something is wrong with them, like they don’t belong or out of sync with society.

That is because we see people on TV acting out their emotions and interacting with other people.

Introverts Characteristics

Introverts live inwardly and are often engaged in internal activities.

They are uncomfortable in social situations. they find social situations to be draining and enjoy long periods of solitude, which makes it challenging for them to advance in the workplace.

Introverts are good listeners and process information before they speak.

Some of the adjectives that frequently come up in describing introverts are quiet, serious, calm, reserved, detached, restrained, and private. - Wendy Gelberg in The Successful Introvert Click To Tweet

Furthermore, introverts can be seen as “fair, thoughtful, intelligent, competent, diligent, and trustworthy”.

The Successful Introvert By Wendy Gelberg #books #bookreviews #introversion #success #leadership #leadershipdevelopment

How To Manage Your Introversion?

Introverts must understand their strengths and weaknesses.

Introverts must also discipline their active minds. They tend to make assumptions and create stories in their mind that hold them back and are not always true. Instead, they must pick stories that propel them in life.

Introverts must learn how to protect their energy and take breaks when they need to in order to rejuvenate and be more alert at work. 

There are several additional strategies to manage your introversion in order to achieve success:

  1. Focus outward.
  2. Keep your eyes on the prize.
  3. Practice and fake it until you make it.
  4. Feel fear and go towards it anyways.
  5. Be unafraid of rejection.
  6. Embrace solitude. Protect their space and energy. 

The Skills Every Introverts Need To Succeed

Introverts need to learn other extroverted skills to make them more effective in the workplace and to get out their comfort zone.

1. Networking

Networking is challenging for introverts but is necessary and inevitable.

For introverts, networking seems self-serving and distasteful.

To be able to network and connect better with people, it helps to listen to people’s needs, to ask them for advice and to understand that every interaction can pay off in the long run.

2. Communicating Consciously

Because introverts withdraw in their own world, must:

  • Pay attention to their own thoughts.
  • Be careful when and how to communicate with others so that the latter don’t make negative assumptions about them.
  • Stay detached from their work enough to be able to socialize.

3. Promoting Themselves

Self-promotion makes introverts very uncomfortable.

However, your work will not speak for itself.

You have to learn to promote your own work and competencies.

Review

Most books about career development and success are generally geared towards extroverts, which can get discouraging for introverts.

In The Successful Introvert, Wendy Gelberg gives hints on on how, when and where to use your introversion. She shows that there is strength in introversion, that there are places and moments where your introversion is valuable. 

The Successful Introvert by Wendy Gelberg is eye-opening. I recommend this book for shy and introverted leaders (in progress) who want to gain self-awareness, optimize their leadership and develop their career.

Some of us are not leaders yet and wish to become leaders. The thing is our introversion is often times what stops us from getting what we really want in life.

In addition, the corporate world does act like introverts are problematic and often singles them out. Introverts have to learn to accept who they truly are and make the best of their personality type.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The key to success is versatility.

Introversion is not a limiting characteristic, although the accompanying traits may require some special accommodations (also true of extraversion, but that’s a subject
for another book). We make comparisons to people who are highly successful and see the ways in which we fall short. Meanwhile, we don’t get to see the struggles or challenges that they had to deal with, so their success looks falsely uncomplicated.

Some of the adjectives that frequently come up in describing introverts are quiet, serious, calm, reserved, detached, restrained, and private. All of these speak to our inner focus, and they can contribute to success when used appropriately.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Wendy Gelberg

 

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18 Innovative Approaches To Improve Your Positive Thoughts, To Change Your Work Life And Your Leadership

Thoughts, positive or negative, influence our character, our behavior, our vision, how we deal with setbacks, how we build and maintain relationships, has direct impact on our body and health, emotions.

For instance, negative thoughts affect our daily lives more than we think and can send us down a spiral of despair, depression, insecurity, anxiety and self-sabotage.

Needless to say, most people want to improve themselves, to evolve, to get ahead in their work life but have a tendency to welcome negative thoughts or ignore how to shut them down.

Unfortunately, they end up hindering their accomplishments and career advancements.

That is why it is necessary to control the damage caused by our mind, to discipline our thoughts and emotions, to build up a robust positive attitude and to find peace of mind.

Wondering how to process and control negative thoughts, emotions and how to use a positive mindset to get ahead at work?

18 Innovative Approaches To Improve Your Positive Thoughts, To Change Your Work Life And Your Leadership

Thoughts automatically appear in our mind. They come from past experiences and from the fact that we believe what people have previously said about us. They can be brought up by a word, an image or a memory and employ torture words that decrease our self-esteem, worsens situations, such as “should”, “must” and “have to”.

Because they are spontaneous, we think that they are true. In the long run, thoughts sometimes become rigid beliefs, absolute truths.

Therefore, it becomes an imperative to gain control over them. Disciplining your mind, controlling your thoughts and generating emotions regardless of your environment, regardless the level of attack help you become more mature, make healthier decisions, become more creative, escape, heal bad memories.

Maintaining A Positive Mindset

Positive attitudes can become difficult to maintain in challenging situations in the workplace. But once acquired, it is a habit that can help you overcome bad situations.

Indeed, positivity ensures progress, diffuses situations, alleviates stress, reduces fear, increases endurance, increase self-esteem, attracts positive results and better opportunities. It requires inner work and is independent of external circumstances of the outcome.

There are many ways to bring positivity into the workplace and into your mind:

  1. Identify the source of your thoughts and check the memories that you store in your brain. Be selective about the information that come into your mind. Stay away from the news because they will negatively affect you. Have a joke of the day and send it to people who matter to you. Watch shows, listen to podcasts, audio books that will uplift you, inspire you and motivate you.
  2. Identify triggers, patterns in your thought process. How do they start? What my thoughts say about me? What are the consequences of my thoughts? What do you say regularly to yourself?
  3. Be aware of the content of your thoughts. Therefore, you will be able to interrupt them whenever they don’t help you, to delete the negative ones and replace them with forward-looking ones. Changing thought patterns is difficult because our brain generally resist change.
  4. Understand that you are not the prisoner of your thoughts. Be the one to change the atmosphere in the workplace. Don’t allow the environment to drain you or define who you are. Don’t let someone else control your behavior.
  5. Think about who you want to become and how you want to affect people. Write down 5 dreams that you have ever have, find 5 words to describe yourself and think about it several a day.
  6. Select and force your brain to redirect negative thoughts toward more pleasant alternatives. For example, think about the opposite of the negative thought, attach constructive emotions to an outcome, visualize a positive outcome for the situation or visualize the perfect life every day before you got to bed and everyday when you wake up.
  7. Focus on what is going right instead of what is going wrong. People give negative emotions more importance than the positive ones, which conditions our brain to bring up negative thoughts automatically and repetitively for a long period of time. You have the power to choose and train your brain to give positive emotions more attention.
  8. Accept the present moment and understand that it is inevitable. How to focus and stay in the present? Understand that panicking and worrying is useless, that the past is unchangeable and the future uncontrollable, that every experiences have made you who you are today.
  9. Give your thoughts a name and call them out whenever they send us down a negative spiral and challenge every single thought by speaking them out loud.
  10. It is easy to complain and whine, so be grateful that you have a job and show appreciation in your contribution.
  11. Learn to discern toxic coworkersDon’t tolerate or focus on negative people.
  12. Get up early and work out before going to work to release the endorphins throughout the day.
  13. Create a positive work zone by insulating yourself with headphones for example. Also, avoid gossip at all cost, put up motivational objects around your desk. Take regular breaks from your cubicle to stop thinking, to meditate and go to the bathroom.
  14. Create a better work life balance to protect your home life. Leave the drama at work, be strict with your hours, avoid staying late and taking work at home.
  15. Behave positively as well. Meaning fake it until you make it.
  16. Separate yourself from the negativity and surround yourself with open-minded people with a positive mindset. Stick positive quotes on your wall of your cubicle or on your desk.
  17. Take a class after work or find a hobby so you have something to look forward to at the end of the day.
  18. Discreetly find a more comfortable and productive workplace.

Last Words Of Advice!

There is a need for Positive Leadership.

Positive leaders have a moral compass, are purpose driven, communicate effectively, exhibit integrity and provide emotional safety. Because they inject good energy into the team, they instill an atmosphere of trust and openness they rip enthusiasm, motivation, transparency from their team.

Positive leaders are able to impact their company culture, improve results, increase performance and enhance job satisfaction.

18 Innovative Approaches To Improve Your Positive Thoughts, To Change Your Work Life And Your Leadership

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

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9 Common Misconceptions About Leadership

In the workplace, everyone has the potential to become a great leader if they have the right knowledge.

Unfortunately, most of the time, for lack of knowledge, we see our higher ups acting like children and creating toxic workplaces.

They misunderstand the real role leaders should have within their team and organization.

Wondering what are the common misconceptions about leadership?

9 Common Misconceptions About Leadership #leadership #selfimprovement #truth

Misconception #1. Leaders are bosses or managers

Don’t mistake leaders for bosses. Great leaders generally don’t like humiliating people or bossing people around.

Leaders don’t go around telling people what to do but tend to lead by example.

Leaders have to lead themselves first before they lead anybody else.

They don’t need or want to have power over others. Instead, they influence and empower others. 

Misconception #2. Leaders are not emotional

“Leave your emotions at the door” is an expression that we often hear in the workplace.

The truth is we can’t fully detach our emotions from our circumstances wherever we go.

The truth is nobody wants an emotionless leader who lacks empathy for their team and cannot communicate their emotions.

Why? Because emotions make us human. They are there to help and guide us.

That doesn’t mean that we should wear our emotions on our sleeves and bleed on everyone else.

It means that you should definitely communicate your emotions and that you can share what you are feeling in a disciplined manner.

Misconception #3. Leaders are unkind

We often hear that kind people are generally taken advantage of and don’t make it very far in the world.

People in positions of leadership feels the need to be mean to demonstrate their power and to protect themselves.

However, kind leaders are successful in the workplace because they:

  • Are firm yet vulnerable and are open to accepting help from others.
  • Listen and help their coworkers.
  • Are flexible and supportive.

In return, team members are more motivated, more productive, and are appreciative of a healthy work environment.

Misconception #4. Leaders are confident all the time

Leaders are human too.

They are not always confident and positive.

They have huge responsibilities and developed character, but they still fall prey to insecurities.

However, they make a point to nurture their self-esteem and boost the self-esteem of others. They know how to discipline their emotions because they are aware that they are role models.

Misconception #5. Leaders are professional and private

Leaders are professional but they have a personal life that they can share if they want to.

The reality is that leaders have to open up and get to know their team members.

They have to know what motivates their team and share what motivates them in return.

They need to know what is important to their team so that they create a healthy work-life balance.

Misconception #6. Leaders know everything

Some people think that leaders have to know everything.

Some employee may even challenge their bosses knowledge.

Leaders are not supposed to know everything. They are there to unite and to guide.

Instead, they must surround themselves with the best and rely on them to get all the expertise they need.

They may not be experts but leaders must not feel insecure about not knowing everything. 

Misconception #7. All leaders are extroverted

Extroverts are people persons, are skilled at communicating and speaking their mind.

Because communication skills are highly valued in the workplace, extroverted leaders have a leg up on the competition.

However, introverts can achieve their full potential as well because introverts have their own set of skills. They become wise and understanding leaders who listen to their team and reflect on the best solutions.

Misconception #8. Leaders have high energy

Sure, leaders should exercise and refresh their mind to maintain a certain level of energy.

However, they are not jesters or there to entertain the crowd.

They have to make responsible decisions and stay focused on the vision.

Misconception #9. Leaders are void of mistakes

In reality, leaders make the most mistakes.

They function ahead of the crowd and experience things before anyone else.

They had to make mistakes before they achieve any type of success.

Last Words Of Advice!

There is no general mould for leadership.

Most leaders don’t really need a diploma, title or position.

Furthermore, leadership is a constant work in progress. There are leaders at all levels of life and there are various leadership styles for leaders to express themselves.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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How To Successfully Identify & Deal With Your Emotional Triggers : 8 Proven Strategies That Leaders Use

Triggers? Everybody has them whether we want to admit or not, whether we know they exist or not.

Triggers are natural and there for self preservation purposes.

However, they show up anywhere at an inopportune time.

They make us react in appropriate ways, get us out of character and acting like a child again.

It is therefore detrimental for leaders to identify and control their triggers so that they cannot be controlled by them or someone.

Wondering how leaders identify and control their triggers?

How To Identify & Deal With Your Emotional Triggers (1)

What are TRIGGERS?

A trigger can be a person, a place, an object or an event.

Trauma is a major cause of triggers. Triggers are made of:

  • Situations that threaten your well being.
  • Conflicts in core values. Differences in ideas, beliefs and point of views.
  • Powerlessness from physical or emotional abuse.

For example, we can be triggered when:

  • We want to make a logical & rational point in serious conversation.
  • We are in a safe place and having fun with friends and family.
  • We are alone in a peaceful room.
  • We think about the past or the future.

Triggers just like intuition are nor good or bad: they have the ability to transform us into children again but they also warn us that something around us is wrong.

Furthermore, triggers allow us to become more self-aware and to discover the true meaning behind your actions. 

In addition, triggers can be stimulated internally or externally. They generally manifest themselves into:

  • Eating disorders,
  • Tears, fear or sadness,
  • Anger, rage or other emotional outburst,
  • Cold sweat and heart palpitations,
  • Inability to speak (out).

How to identify your TRIGGERS?

The problem with triggers is that they don’t allow us to achieve our purpose and get what we want out of life.

Triggers set you off path. They make you wonder “What the hell was I thinking?”, “I can’t believe I just did that!!!”.

For leaders triggers can cost you your character, your credibility, your team and your money.

That is why leaders have to become aware of themselves and the systems of beliefs that are driving their behavior.

There are a few strategies leaders can adopt to identify their triggers. While you are being triggered …

 

1. … Pause

When you are feeling heightened emotions, pause and analyze the situation.

Where am I? What am I doing? What was said? What is the meaning of this?

3. … Be still

Learn to be still in situation of turmoil.

Feel your emotions but don’t get stuck in them.

You don’t need to react but you need to learn to respond.

2. … Gain perspective

Acknowledge whether that trigger is positive or negative.

Does it help you to make positive or negative choices? Is it serving you

If it is not, it is time to let of go or turn it around to achieve a better life.

How to control your TRIGGERS?

Triggers of managed appropriately can intuitively guide us and warn us when something is wrong or too toxic for us.

Undisciplined triggers ruin great relationships, can hurt you physically and mysteriously hijack your life.

1. Traumas are real

Everything that you see in someone is only a mere reflection of yourself.

For instance, you don’t like being ignored at work because your parents ignored you growing up.

So now, you have to examine yourself first.

Then, take responsibility for your life, traumas and for your emotions.

2. Don’t take things personally

Understand that everyone has their own insecurities.

If they trigger you even purposefully, don’t take it personally.

You cannot control people nor are you responsible for their mental and emotional health.

3. Learn to change 

Not because you have been acting the same way for the last 20 years that you cannot change.

Change is possible. Change is good.

Don’t do the same thing every time you are being triggered or being triggered all the time is the right choice.

4. Be more present

Be more present to help you exercise continuous self-awareness.

This will help you monitor your thoughts and behaviors in challenging or regular situations.

By being present you stop experiencing your last threat.

5. Be more compassionate 

Be compassionate with yourself.

Appreciate your peace and don’t allow anyone to control you.

You are only human and cannot be in control of your entire self 24/7.

However, forgive yourself and always do your best.

6. Remember to exercise

Exercising keeps your mind clean and puts in control of your own body.

This way, when you are triggered, you can feel the symptoms acting out throughout your body.

You will then have enough control to acknowledge and minimize these symptoms.

7. Write down your emotions and your triggers

Make a list of the things that trigger you. This way, you will know which personality type or environment to avoid.

Write down your triggers and the reasons and histories around them. Then change the story and take back control. Why do they exist? Where do they come from?

8. Learn from your experiences

When you are triggered, remember that you are not defined by your last experience and that controlling your trigger is a learning process.

Acknowledge that the opinion of others don’t matter.

Allow your experiences to make you a better and optimized version of yourself.

You will do better next time FOR SURE!

Last Words Of Advice!

You attract what you think.

Therefore, take care of your mind so that you can live an optimized and meaningful life.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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How To Invest In Yourself : 10 Best Ways To Guarantee Success

We all want to achieve success in life.

We want the corner office, the big house, the nice car, respect, money, …

But we don’t want to make the effort necessary for success.

Nor do we understand that success starts with us.

In reality, investing in yourself is the best way to achieve success by helping you to become the best version of yourself.

Wondering what are the best ways to invest in yourself?

How To Invest In Yourself : 10 Best Ways To Guarantee Success #success #selfimprovement #leadership

Investing in yourself is realizing success in all areas of your life. It means:

  • Becoming your best self.
  • Getting to know who you truly are.
  • Maximizing your talents.
  • Achieving your purpose.
  • Making yourself more valuable to people.

1. Understand that you are the greatest asset you can ever ask for

First of all, you are the greatest investment you can ever make.

Investing in yourself will ensure long term happiness, purpose and financial stability.

2. Take the pressure off

You are not going to be the best or the most improved person just in one day.

  • Acknowledge that there is always room for improvement.
  • Understand that you are doing the best you can with the tools that you have.
  • Take the pressure off and start your journey where you are emotionally, physically, mentally, financially.
  • Don’t dwell on past mistakes. Look at your failures as an opportunity to grow.

3. Follow your purpose

The best way you can use your money is on yourself and on your purpose. 

Besides, whenever you follow your purpose, the money automatically follows.

To fulfill your purpose:

4. Take care of your mind

Take care of your mind and identify what you need to succeed.

  • Take time off to renew your mind.
  • Discipline your emotions so you can respond to negativity appropriately. 
  • Stay true to yourself and grow your mindset.
  • Let go of the past and be grateful for your present.
  • Feed your inner spirit. Meditate and speak words of affirmations on your life.

5. Educate yourself to the fullest

Knowledge is better than riches and cannot be taken away from you.

So, to invest in yourself, you have to learn and develop new skills that sill serve you in all areas of your life.

You can attend classes and apply for training sessions online for free.

You can also go to different events to network with people and to listen to their experiences.

Finally, you can read a book at least 15 minutes per day. Reading and studying blogs and books will increase your skills. There is always hidden knowledge in books.

6. Travel as much as you can

To invest in yourself, start travelling and experiencing new cultures.

When you travel, you open yourself up to new people, new ideas, new solutions.

This will broaden your experiences and will help you understand a different culture, talk to people of all walks of life, become more diplomatic and more culturally sensitive.

Travel is the best investment you can make in yourself. It teaches you that there are many ways to live a good, fulfilled life. It broadens your world view, yet makes you appreciate home all the more. - Joel Sartore Click To Tweet

7. Stay organized

When investing in yourself, it is essential to:

  • Manage your time effectively. Schedule your time with the tasks that you need to do. You don’t need to put a time frame in each task but start with the most important one.
  • Take care of your environment. Clean up your mess. Make your bed as soon as you wake up. Clean up your environment. A messy environment has a way of cluttering your mind.

8. Take care of your body

Health is wealth so it becomes imperative to take care of your health, to exercise and to eat healthy.

Exercising first thing in the morning energizes you, boosts up your confidence and gives you a running start on your day.

Eating healthier and working out may cost more but are a long-term investment.

9. Take care of your relationships

Relationships can take your career or your hustle to the next level. Therefore, when you are investing in yourself, you may want to:

  • Meet people who will get you out of your comfort zone.
  • Monitor where you spend your time and the people who surround you.
  • Analyze how you feel after an interaction. You may have to eliminate people or activities who do not bring any value to you. 

10. Find a role model

To figure out his to invest in yourself, you must find the right mentors and the right role models.

You can even invest in a coach to learn and produce faster results.

Additionally, you can hire someone who you trust, who is living the life you want, who have the character that you want.

Last Words Of Advice!

The moment you start investing in yourself, the more you will gain respect, money and manifest positive opportunities so you can experience life to the fullest.

Don’t wait to invest in yourself!

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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13 Leadership Tips For Your First Day On The Job

Congratulations. You have just been hired, after an incessant job search and multiple job interviews. Now, the real work has just started!

Wondering how to build a positive professional image as soon as you arrive on the job and to sustain it throughout your whole career?

13 Leadership Tips for Your First Day on the Job #work #career #careeradvice #job #leadership #success

From your first day on the job, your colleagues will definitely be judging you and your capabilities as a leader, as a team member or as a threat to their current position.

Meanwhile your employer will evaluate your abilities to integrate the organization and to quickly adapt, to learn the job skills.

You have to be ready to handle the pressure and to measure up to the job. And unfortunately, I learnt that there aren’t any do-overs when it comes to making a first impression of your professional image.

On the first day on my first job, I showed up on the first day with a negative attitude: I was anxious, unconsciously rejecting the fact that I had to work corporate and work for someone else.

Therefore, in the long haul, I started involuntarily rebuffing the idea of getting along with people, learning new skills and focusing on my job.

As a result, I integrated an unfavorable perception of my environment and I certainly believe that I left a negative impression of myself in the workplace. 

This stuck to me for a while until I quit the job and was able to start over elsewhere with a better knowledge of both corporate and leadership.

At the same time, to survive, I did what my elders told me: “work hard and keep your head down!”.  But this brought on additional issues. Why? Because, according to Daniel Goleman, in Working With Emotional Intelligence,  the “rules for work are changing. We’re being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other.[…] These rules have little to do with what we were told was important in school; academic abilities are largely irrelevant to this standard.”.

 

In order for you to steer clear from the same issues that I have experienced, to develop a leadership image from the start, follow the tips below:

1. Arrive to work early and leave late on your first day

Arriving early to work demonstrate your motivation, your eagerness to learn and gives you more credit as a professional.

In addition, arriving early will allow you to get a general feel of your new colleagues’ arrival time, schedules, morning procedures.

It will also give you a time to which you will be expected to show up at work.

On your first day, at least, make sure to leave the office after a few coworkers have left the office and not before everyone else does.

2. Dress appropriately and to look your best

Undeniably, your coworkers will make snap decisions about you without getting to know or understanding your core values.

Subsequently, they will judge your book by its cover, no matter how you feel or what you say.

Dressing appropriately, without drawing attention to yourself,  gives the perception that you fit in, that you are the right person for the job, and that you care about yourself and others.

At your job interview, you had the time to consider the company culture and to take notes on the proper attire to fit in. Even on casual Fridays, groom yourself, do your best to look the part, and to dress for  the job you want and not for the one you have.

3. Be confident, positive and prepared for a full-blown interview from your colleagues

After the job interview, take heed of the coworkers interviews.

Most likely, they will ask about your education, your professional experience, your professional competencies for the job, a description of your current position, and the members of your team.

Prepare a short presentation of yourself to introduce yourself confidently.

4. Assume also that some of your coworkers won’t bother to get to know you

So, you will have to take initiative and make the first steps.

Extend a firm handshake, smile and proactively introduce yourself by using the short presentation about yourself and to control the message regarding yourself.

Also, prepare a set of probing questions for your coworkers.

5. Observe your coworkers in return, their behavior towards one another, towards their boss

Don’t be fooled, on your first day, most of your coworkers will be on their best behavior around you and will try their best for you to like them.

Withal, you can discreetly notice the clicks and the areas and subjects that bring tension.

6. Pay attention to company culture

Who gives orders, who is the unofficial leader, who arrives early and who arrives late, who takes coffee breaks and how often, who start the lunch process, where lunch takes place and for how long…does everyone work out? Should you go to the after works? 

Take a moment to understand the rules, on your own, without referring to any coworker just yet.

7. Remember the names of the people you meet

I am not a name person but you should not ask for names that were already given.

Wait a few days and someone will throw a name out there.

8. Cultivate emotional intelligence

Even though your coworkers will be on their best behavior for the first few days, there is ALWAYS someone to come around and test you for fun.

Your reaction to his or her obnoxious behavior will market your capabilities and your personal qualities, for future career success.

9. Communicate effectively, listen more than you speak and observe your body language

Listen actively and with intention of asking probing questions.

Ask for people opinions before you give yours.

10. Show interest in your new tasks

The responsibilities that you are given on your first days are boring and minimal: you will most likely be reading job regulations, technical documents and implementing basic tasks.

Nonetheless, ask pertinent questions, take notes, commit to the task at hand and don’t expect your boss or your coworkers to hold your hand.

11. Be open to correction, advice and guidance

Even though you have some experience under your belt, stay humble instead of showing off your knowledge, listen to what your coworkers have to tell you

Thank people for their help and own up to your mistakes.

Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know. Let me find out and get back to you.”.

12. Accept invitations for coffee, to smoke or to lunch with your coworkers

Mind you, I don’t drink coffee, I don’t smoke and I only take lunch breaks alone during my working hours.

But those breaks are essential to show that you are social and willing to integrate and share their habits.

Use those breaks to your advantage to get to know your coworkers.

13. Don’t indulge in office politics and gossip on your first day or ever

Avoid people who partake in gossip and employ aggressive methods of office politics.

To not be implicated in the rumor mill, don’t expose your personal life.

According to Daniel Goleman, pay attention to “what to say, what not to say, and what to call it” throughout your entire career.

Last Words Of Advice!

Building a strong professional image and leader brand, as soon as you step into your new position, is detrimental to career success.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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Ego Is The Enemy By Ryan Holiday

In Ego Is The EnemyRyan Holiday teaches you to stay humble in your aspirations, gracious in your success and resilient in your failures.

How to achieve your aspirations?

Ego is your worst enemy and can easily sink your ship.

Ego blocks your progress in life and sometimes fast tracks your downfall.

To improve and fight your ego, you must:

  • Be open to feedback but learn to evaluate your own abilities.
  • Practice detachment, tame your imagination before it runs wild and go through life with a quiet confidence.
  • Don’t stay stuck in your head. Instead, participate in what is going on around you.
  • Try staying silent in conversation. Silence can be strategic and is sustainable.
  • Always seek to learn. When you are a student, you absorb what is going on around you, you are focused on gaining knowledge and improving yourself.
  • Avoid being passionate. Instead, favor purpose and realism.
  • Ignore when people slight you and brush off the pain. Just think of it as you paying your dues.
  •  Avoid being prideful. Pride leads to arrogance. It impedes your ability “to learn, to adapt, to be flexible, to build relationships”.
  • Doing ever stop working.

Ego Is The Enemy By Ryan Holiday #book #bookreviews #leadershipbooks #leadership #ego #JourneyToLeadership

How to maintain success?

You have aspirations and you have worked so hard to climb the ladder of success.

However, when you start succeeding, you will start facing new ego problems that can quickly erode your success. To maintain long-term success:

  • Don’t pretend that you know what you are doing. Instead, keep learning, stay focused on facts and do your best.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others or try to keep up with the Joneses because you will end up doing things you don’t want to do.
  • Always remember your purpose and what is important to you before saying yes to opportunities.
  • Don’t be paranoid, entitled or controlling.
  • Learn to organize your thoughts, manage yourself and others.
  • Understand that selflessness and humility are strengths and not weaknesses.
  • Don’t try to be the center of attention, hug the spotlight and take credit for something you didn’t do or deserve.
  • Patiently progress towards you goals. It is better to go at it slow and steady.

How to handle failure?

Ego, power and success can make you delusional. You have to constantly self-monitor and stay attentive for your own downfalls.

Moreover, everybody goes through setbacks in life. Failure is not fair and happens to good people too.

But with a big ego, you tend to get caught by surprise. Your ego will make it hard for you to handle rock bottom.

To be resilient in your failures:

  • Know your worth.
  • Stay humble and on purpose.
  • Don’t abandon your principles and maintain your character.
  • Don’t depend on recognition and reward.
  • Make use of your environment and transform your failures into something positive.
  • Understand that, even if you do everything right and perfect, you still will experience failure.
  • Discipline yourself to do the right thing. It will be hard but it will makes you less self absorbed on the long run.

Review

Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday is short, practical and direct self-development book. 

According to Ryan Holiday, there are three stages in life: aspirations, success, failure. You will have to discipline your ego in all three stages if you want to get somewhere.

Ego is our own worst enemy. It becomes detrimental to suppress or manage our ego before we develop bad habits. For example, he warns us against common knowledge:

  • Don’t be passionate or you will fail. It is better to be apathetic and acknowledge the realities of your passions.
  • Don’t flatter your ego.
  • Don’t think you know everything.

Ego Is The Enemy is ideal for leaders who want to tame their ego, improve their leadership and relationships.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is
girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.

Detachment is a sort of natural ego antidote.

For your work to have truth in it, it must come from truth.

We will learn that though we think big, we must act and live small in order to accomplish what we seek.

The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong.

All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves
to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Ryan Holiday

 

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8 Ways Travelling Improves Your Leadership

I tend to travel at moments when everything in my life are chaotic or going down hill. Why? Because I gain better perspective when I push my boundaries and step outside my personal situation.

Travelling can indeed be a wonderful and unique experience.

It can also be a way to increase your leadership, change your mindset, improve your self-awareness and discover better principles.

Wondering how can travelling make you a better leader?

There are a lot of positive effects to travelling.

8 Ways Travelling Improves Your Leadership #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #selfimprovement #selfawareness #selfesteem #confidence #travel

1. You discover yourself

When you travel, nobody really knows you so you are free to try and embody new versions of yourself.

That is because by travelling, you remove yourself from the pressures of society and from the expectations that your parents or circle have placed on you.

You find ways to become a better leader for yourself and your team.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. - Henry Miller Click To Tweet

2. You renew your mind

You change your perspective, gain more clarity and start thinking differently.

Indeed, travelling quiets the negative voices in your head and rewires your brain.

Travelling is an opportunity to go into deep introspection, to discipline yourself, to challenge your beliefs and assumptions, and redefine your values and priorities.

You are too absorbed by the new environments to stay stuck in the past, anxious about the future, or stuck in your head.

3. You get out of your comfort zone

One of my favorite things about travelling is taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone. It requires a lot of confidence and a taste for the unknown.

It gives you the opportunity to try new things and try out different versions of themselves.

Not everybody has the opportunity to travel. To be kind to your wallet, you can travel to the city next door.

4. You build up self-confidence

Investment in travel is an investment in yourself. - Matthew Karsten Click To Tweet

When I travel, I don’t like making plans in general.

I rather wander, roam through the streets and get lost so I can ask people my way back, practice a different language, find hidden treasures and test my ability to be resourceful.

Getting lost and finding my way back gives me more confidence in my abilities to successfully take care of myself. I can then return home with the conviction that I can solve anything I put my mind to.

5. You get healed

Travelling provides healing for your entire being and reminds you that there is still beauty in the world.

  • You acquire the opportunity to get to know yourself better, to try different things, to get out of your attributed role.
  • You become present and aware of your surroundings.
  • You listen to yourself more and get in touch with your intuition.
  • You treasure your experiences more than material things. Your positive memories will help you overcome difficult times.

6. You balance your work and life

Leaders don’t always have time to relax and travel as much as they would want to. Travelling improves your work-life balance because:

  • You don’t have to worry so much about work and your coworkers.
  • You remove yourself from toxicity and enjoy people who enjoy you.
  • You break from your routine and from zombie mode.
  • You take a well deserved break from your drama.
  • You recenter yourself and you realize that we are all human beings.
You lose sight of things… and when you travel, everything balances out. - Daranna Gidel Click To Tweet

7. You develop cultural sensitivity

Through my years of travel, I have seen people travelling so they could feel superior and turn their nose up at people from different cultures who live their lives differently.

They basically use travelling as a way to validate their beliefs of superiority.

The reality is travelling is a way to open your mind and experience new cultures.

  • You gain more knowledge.
  • You become less judgmental.
  • You become culturally sensitive.
  • You may find where you truly belong.
  • You understand that different is good.
  • You believe that everything or everyone has their qualities and their flaws.
  • You acknowledge that most people don’t fall under all the stereotypes.
When overseas you learn more about your own country, than you do the place you’re visiting. - Clint Borgen Click To Tweet

8. You grow social Skills

Travelling increases your curiosity, creativity and social skills.

You meet interesting people on your journey who speak different languages but who have the same life experiences and the same intentions.

Beyond the language barrier, you become self-reliant, you value people and make an effort to understand other people.

Last Words Of Advice!

Try travelling alone if you can.

When you travel alone, you make your own decisions, you learn yourself, you are responsible for yourself and you do what you want.

Finally, you learn to value yourself and enjoy yourself alone. 

once a year go some place you've never been before - Dalai Lama Click To Tweet

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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