11 Ways To Make The Best Decision For Yourself

Have you ever been anxious about making the right decision? 

Are you confused by all the possibilities? Overwhelmed by all the consequences of your decision? Are you prepared for the consequences? Are you feeling pressured by a timeline? Do you have all the information at hand to come to a conclusion?

Indecision can be crippling and problematic. Having to take a difficult decision can overload your mind, take over your emotions and perturb your whole week.

Most of the time, we procrastinate over these decisions or wish that someone would make them for us. Either way, we have to assume responsibility for our decisions. 

Wondering how to make the best decision for yourself?

11 Ways To Make The Best Decision For Yourself #selfdevelopment #selfawareness #leadership

1. Trust your voice

You have to understand that your opinion really matters, that you will make mistakes and that you will have to stand next to your decision no matter what.

The more you make decisions and make mistakes, the faster you will get it right and trust yourself.

2. Listen to your gut

For those who are in tune with themselves, the concept of following your gut and listening to your intuition is easy to understand and even easier to apply.

You already know the decision you are leaning towards. If you don’t, apply your decisions without committing to them, then see how it feels. You can also think how you would feel if you say yes or no to a decision.

3. Stop beating yourself up

Make the decision beforehand to accept whatever you choose and don’t beat yourself up about it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, forgive yourself and learn to let go…

If you have lost an opportunity, another one will show up and it will be the chance for you to redeem yourself or to make a more appropriate decision.

4. Detach yourself from the situation

You have a hard time making a decision because you are probably in too deep, your emotions and thoughts are clouded, you are obsessing and ruminating.

To gain a bird’s eye view over your problems, you definitely need to take a step back.

Detaching yourself will help you get into the right mindset and will allow you to analyze each element of the situation with a cold head. When you are detached, you will be able to better handle the impacts of your decision no matter what you choose.

5. Make time for that decision

You will have to give this decision all your attention and make it in a given timeframe.

In this timeframe, you will have to play out all the possible scenarios. Outside of that timeframe, you must consider that your decision is final, that you cannot go back and you can no longer obsess about it.

6. Be clear about your needs and desires

Sometimes, you have to choose the decisions that best suit your needs and desires. You cannot make decisions based on what you want and the expectations of society or of your social circle.

For example, you may want a big time high paying job but you may need trust, transparency, and a sense of safety.

7. Be clear about your core values

A few decisions that you will be making in life will make you uncomfortable, cross your boundaries and go against your core values.

If you have solid core values, these decisions become a no brainer and don’t take long to make.

8. Be clear about your goals and purpose

Having a clear purpose eases your decision-making process.

Decisions fail when people don’t know their purpose in the first place.

If the outcome of your decisions aligns with your goals and purpose, stop reading this and go for it!

9. Don’t settle for one solution

There might be more than one answer or solution to your problem.

Indeed, your decision might not be black or white. If you are detached enough, you will be able to visualize the bigger picture.

You don’t need to win right away but you could push back or find compromises.

10. Visualize or redact your thoughts

Bringing in outside opinions will only complicate the decision making process.

However, it will help to speak or write down your thoughts. You will surely come up with the best decision when you do so.

11. Ask an expert

Asking someone for their opinion is not recommended because their advice will not necessarily work for you.

However, if you do, you really have to use discernment and choose someone who has done what you have done before and who has a lot of expertise on the topic.

Last Words Of Advice!

There is no perfect decision and you will never be 100% sure about your decisions. So, relax and reframe your mind!

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

 

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The Importance Of Kindness In Leadership

Kindness is extremely hard to implement in the world we live in today because according to popular belief, kindness is weakness…

However, in the workplace, kindness is essential to leadership success.

Furthermore, genuine acts of kindness in the workplace don’t go unnoticed as people tend to pay it forward.

Indeed, most people who have been through fire in their personal and professional life appreciate serenity and kindness. They would try everything to maintain their self-worth and peace of mind.

Wondering how to develop kindness in the workplace?

The Importance Of Kindness In Leadership #leadership #kindness journeytoleadershipblog.com

Benefits Of Kindness in Leadership

Kind leaders act with the best interest and on behalf of their team and organization. They are authentic, humble, have high morals and a sense of decency.

In kind organization, leaders believe that the people are the heart of the organization.

Furthermore, leaders are able to increase engagement and empower team members who gradually grow in confidence.

In addition, being kind doesn’t mean that you are soft, a pushover, that you are avoiding conflict, that you lack boundaries, that you are people pleasing or that you have to put up with bad behavior.

It means that you take time to listen and understand the people around you before acting or making a decision. It also means that you analyze the consequences of your decisions. 

1. Kind leaders are kind to themselves

Kind leaders are firstly kind to themselves and the people closest to them.

They celebrate their own success, forgive themselves when they make mistakes and set clear boundaries.

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. - Lao Tzu Click To Tweet

2. Kind leaders use the Golden Rule

The best and strongest leaders put people first and treat their team with kindness.

They acknowledge people, show respect and demonstrate that they care. They simply treat people the way they want to be treated. They understand that they can get more things done, they have to treat people like people.

For example, they have face to face conversations and ask people how they are doing. They can be generous with their time and actively listen to people.

3. Kind leaders set clear expectations

They let people know what needs to be done to avoid miscommunication, misinterpretation, misdirections.

They don’t give out false objectives and avoid sending their team members on a wild goose chase. They celebrate their success and the success of others..

Team members will then commit to their work and reach their goals.

4. Kind leaders tell the truth

Telling the truth encourages growth within the team and builds up the leader’s credibility and respect.

They understand that the truth comes with consequences but they also want the best out of their teams so they overpass their need for self-preservation or self-interest.

They place people in the right positions and give honest feedback to help people perform at their best.

5. Kind leaders agree to disagree

A difference in opinion doesn’t dictate their character.

They have great communication skills and can handle tough conversations.

They don’t ostracize or belittle people who don’t like them.

6. Kind leaders believe in equality and equity

They treat everyone equally, regardless of their personal bias, stereotypes, personality, character and performance.

They are culturally sensitive and advocate for inclusion.

7. Kind leaders create a safe environment

Kind workplaces increase productivity and improve the company culture.

Leaders understand that employees need to feel safe in order to be productive.

Unkind leaders instill fear and use their power and position to make their employees comply. Employees feel unsafe and tend to quit their jobs or resort to the same bad behavior to survive.

Last Words Of Advice!

What of being kind requires too much time and effort that I don’t have? Kindness is a long term investment that requires authenticity, strength and courage.

There are some people who will create chaos, use fear and anger as a management, and try to discourage you from being kind.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

 

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19 Signs You Are Meant To Be A Self-Employed Leader

If you are reading this, chances are that you have been pondering for a long time whether or not you should go out on your own or keep your 9-to-5 leadership job…

Making the decision to be self-employed is a difficult one since everyone is not cut out to go out on their own and the risks are extreme.

However, staying in your current 9-to-5 contains risks of its own:

  • You are not sure if you will get laid off or not.
  • You are financially dependent.  
  • You are responsible for things that you don’t really care about.
  • You are in a cubicle and around people you don’t care about.
  • You suffer from a unhealthy work-life balance.
  • You are being underutilized, under-challenged and are underperforming.

Wondering if you are meant to work for yourself?

19 Signs You Are Meant To Be A Self-Employed Leader #leadership #self-development journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. You are all about growth

You are focused on yourself, on your growth and on the expansion of your business.

When others create drama or partake in office politics, you are too busy listening to books, reading my blog, self-development and business books.

2. You think as a brand

You need to start thinking about yourself as a brand and as a business.

Everything you say or do is connected to your brand and purpose.

3. You enjoy taking risks

The people closest to you will try to talk you out of being self-employed because they are afraid of the unknown.

If you have to take risks, it is better and safer to bet on yourself.

4. You love to learn

Whether you are reading books or taking classes, you are always open to learn.

You believe that there is always room for improvement.

5. You are good at many things

You don’t want to be stuck in one position or with the same role.

Your skillset is transverse, you want to apply yourself in different fields and you often outdo your job description.

6. You understand sacrifice

Sacrifice is necessary to get where you cant to go.

You won’t be able to go out or stay in bed as much as you want to because you are willing to get down in the trenches and put in the hard work.

7. You require flexible hours

You want to be able to handle your own hours and not punch in.

You want a healthy work-life balance.

The tricky part about this is that you are your own boss, wont take much time off, have to be self-disciplined enough to follow your schedule and achieve your goals.

8. You make your own rules

If you have been in the workplace, you will encounter rules that don’t make sense, that consistently protect one group or people and that create or encourage bias.

You want to walk to the beat of your own drums without having to be like other people or having to comply to crazy and counterproductive rules.

You want to create a culture with clear guidelines that makes more sense and that will help people succeed.

9. You want more control and visibility

You don’t want to constantly look for validation or permission.

You need all the information you can get to make the best decisions.

You need control and visibility to perform at your best. 

10. You want ownership of your work

You are sick and tired of giving away your ideas, intellectual property, time and energy for a small paycheck.

Thanks to ownership over your work, you take pride in what you produce daily.

11. You cannot hold down a regular job to save your life

Because you follow your own rules, are good at many things and are frustrated with the status quo, it is hard for you to keep a job.

You don’t like taking orders, are uncomfortable with the status quo, you get fired a lot or quit often.

12. You value financial independence

You respect money and enjoy making money.

You don’t like depending on someone else than yourself for income.

13. You don’t fit in

You are not a team player, have a hard time getting along with others or stand out like a sore thumb.

You generally speak your mind and end up leading a project.

You have and value your own mind.

14. You genuinely love what you do

You want to do your best in your field of expertise.

However, in the workplace, you have no room to explore your passions or to demonstrate full enthusiasm for your field.

15. You take responsibility for your actions

You enjoy making your own decisions and understand that there are consequences for their actions.

When you make wrong decisions, you don’t shift blame, you learn from your failures and you are able to move on.

16. You are self-disciplined

You don’t want for people to tell you what to do or when to do it.

Even when you don’t feel like it, you manage your tile effectively, don’t procrastinate and go through your task list.

17. You enjoy working alone

Working alone is scary for some people but you embrace freedom and solitude.

You know that you can achieve more in less time when you are on your own.

18. You are resilient and resourceful

You expect the unexpected and believe that there is room for everybody to succeed in this world.

You see obstacles as challenges and are able to face different situations on a daily basis.

You don’t dwell on your failures, you celebrate your success and push through.

19. You are burning out

Your work environment has become toxic and is burning you out.

Your stress levels are very high and you feel like you are leaving your best self at work.

Something or someone at work is draining all your energy.

Last Words Of Advice!

If you are considering going out on your own, you have to be honest with yourself and assess your character and skills.

Before leaving your 9-to-5, make sure that you can survive without a job income or that your side hustle is making enough money.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

 

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Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline By Peter Hollins

Following through is hard but gratifying in the long run…

Some people usually don’t follow through because they self-sabotage, misuse their time and energy by procrastinating, setting impossible goals, managing their time poorly, yielding to temptations and distractions.   

Other people have internal roadblocks that impede them from taking action because they are either lazy, lack discipline and willpower, fear judgement, rejection or failure, try to be perfect, are too insecure, lack self-awareness, are unconsciously protecting themselves.

Indeed, people who have interval roadblocks and who fail to follow through:

  • Set unrealistic expectations for themselves and end up underachieving or underperforming.
  • Overthink everything and lean towards negative thoughts which paralyzes them. Making a decision becomes difficult because they don’t have clear rules and priorities.
  • Worry too much. They ruminate on past, present, future, real, fictitious problems that are most likely out of their control.
  • Don’t know themselves well enough to create the best goals and environment for themselves.

Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline By Peter Hollins #books #bookreviews #selfdiscipline #resilience #emotionalintelligence

The Requirements of Following Through

Following through requires four elements: focus, self-discipline, action and persistence.

With focus, you are able to keep “your head in the game and your eyes on the prize”. You concentrate all your effort and energy onto achieving your goals. 

With self-discipline, you are bale to regulate your thoughts, control your focus and to work regardless of your emotions and your circumstances.

With action, you are able to get closer to the finish line, execute the plan and translate your intentions.

With persistence, you will develop resilience and be able to push through until you have achieved success.

How To Start Following Through?

To start following through, you have to take a good look at yourself, build a better relationship with yourself, develop the right mindset and equip yourself with the best tools to succeed.

To develop the mindset, you must believe that:

  • You are capable and hard work leads to success.
  • The steps that you take are purposeful and fit into a bigger picture.
  • Discomfort is necessary to success. Following through will require you to get out of your comfort zone and do things that you have never done before.
  • The information and knowledge you acquire increase with the steps that you take. You learn more about yourself on top of learning new skills and life lessons.
  • Taking care of your mental health will reinforce your willpower and discipline.

Is Following Through Good For You?

Sometimes, you will have to make the decision to follow through or to give up.

To make the best decisions, you have to create a set of rules that will serve as a guideline, a code of conduct, a task roadmap and a mission statement.

Methods For Following Through

To stay motivated enough to follow through, you must identify the things that motivate you.

Some people want to avoid negative consequences at all cost and will do everything in their power to succeed.

Others are pushed forward by the need and desire to improve their lives.

To stop procrastinating and to follow through:

  • Associate your present goals with an activity that provides instant gratification.
  • Break down huge goals in small manageable steps.
  • Evaluate the risks of inaction.
  • Create an environment free from distractions and temptations.
  • Avoid multitasking and focus on one single task at a time.
  • Group similar tasks together and accomplish them all in one batch.
  • Create lists of tasks that don’t add value or that are out of your control in order to discharge your mental load.
  • Acquire between 40% and 70% of information.
  • Allow yourself to recover mentally from time to time to avoid burnout.

Review

There are many reasons why people stay stagnant in life. In Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline, Peter Hollins breaks down the psychology and the art of following through on your goals.

Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline is recommended for people who struggle to get things done and is full of powerful tools to help you take action and achieve your goals.

Peter Hollins jumpstarts you towards your dreams, shares several tactics to execute whatever you set your mind to and makes some very good points when it comes to the mistakes people make when pursuing their goals.

Following through boils down to extracting lessons from past failures and knowing yourself well enough to create the best environments, rules and roadmaps for you to succeed. 

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Focus guides your thoughts in figuring out how to follow through and directs your actions toward achieving your vision.

Leisure is an important part of life, but if it’s excessive and takes the place of reasonable productivity, then it becomes a vice.

Follow-through is 100% mental. It takes a cognitive effort to follow through on something, especially when you hit discouraging obstacles.

Stop judging yourself and others for being different. We are all different.
Our productivity is very fragile and requires particular care to flourish. Treat yourself to what helps you thrive if you want to follow through.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Peter Hollins

 

 

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Peter Hollins

MEET THE AUTHORPeter Hollins is a bestselling author and a human psychology researcher, dedicated in the study of the human condition.

Peter Hollins is also the author of Finish What You Start: The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, & Self-Discipline.

9 Office Rules That Kill Productivity

In the workplace, rules and common practices are necessary to create order, maintain standards, increase productivity, solve punctual problems or improve the image of the company… 

Most rules are fundamentals principles of life and go without saying. However, some rules are too restrictive and damage the general morale.

Subsequently, productivity suffers, company culture worsens and employees resentment and mental load increase.

Wondering what are the rules that kill workplace productivity?

9 Office Rules That Kill Productivity

1. Hiring on bias and first impressions rule

I have been to  interviews where your first impression controls the whole interviews.

Companies want to hire the most competent applicants who will fit the company culture. 

Some companies or hiring personnel tend to hire one type of people and miss out on great applicants because of hearsay, bias, first impressions and their system of beliefs.

People value companies that believe in diversity.

2. Hiring over a keyword search

These days, the hiring process is done over the internet using keyword search algorithms. This practice leads to hiring personnel contacting applicants who have nothing o do with the position.

3. No individuality

Most companies have a pack mentality. To build a cohesive image, they require a strict dress code and a certain level of decorum from their employees.

However, people can be ethical and should have enough liberty to express themselves at a minimum. They should be able display personal items and wear the clothes that they want.

4. No communication tools

Some companies ban the use of cell phones and regulate the use of internet. However, these practices are antiquated and will not retain millennial employees.

Some companies fail to see that technology is a new way of life and has become necessary. For example, to do their jobs appropriately, employees surf the internet for advice, for tutorials or need to stay connected with their families and other professionals.

Furthermore, every employee handle their break differently: some go to the bathroom for some quiet time, some like to get the gossip at the water cooler, some enjoys conversing over coffee, some make a phone call and others simply enjoy staying at their desk browsing social media.

Sure, there are definitely some sites that are inappropriate for the work environment and that need restriction.Sure, spending more time on the internet and on your cell phone that you do on your job is unprofessional.

For the most part, the internet and cell phones are great communication tools and can improve productivity. Like everything else, they should be used in moderation. 

5. No Bathroom Breaks

Now, that’s a counterproductive rule!

In a day, you cannot predict or control how many times and how long someone will have to go to the bathroom. Limiting bathroom break goes against basic human rights.

6. No time off

Nowadays, people value companies who allow telecommuting and provide flexible hours. 

Most professionals don’t need to be told at what time to show up to work and how long they should stay.

People generally want to honor their time at work. They should be able to regulate their own hours and take time off when they need it.

Cutting the salary of someone who is a few minutes late just seems petty.

7. No autonomy

We live in an age where team work makes the dream work and is mandatory to get a job.

However, most people value autonomy and tend to work alone at their desk anyways.

Forcing people to collaborate will most of the time breed conflict and often times reduce productivity.

8. No meetings

Unless there is an urgent matter to discuss, meetings are generally pointless and kill overall productivity.

Some companies schedule weekly meetings where you have to endlessly listen to people who are not adding value to the conversation and are not solving the problem, if there is even a problem to be solve.

9. Performance review rule

Feedback is constructive criticism and can improve productivity.

However, performance review makes people uncomfortable because they tend to:

  • Evaluate performance using an inaccurate list of criteria.
  • Bring employees back to their student day and make them feel like a number.
  • Generate the fear of being judged, getting fired or speaking up. 

Last Words Of Advice!

Employees have to remember that they have signed a contract, trading their time and effort for salary. If they are not honoring that contract, they must assume the consequences.

In addition, leaders who often break the rules themselves have to acquire the skills to deal with employees  who underperform or who violate general work ethics.

It’s all about trust, common sense and giving people a sense of freedom.

 

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

 

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Are you Fully Charged? The 3 Keys To Energizing Your Work And Life by Tom Rath

Are you Fully Charged? The 3 Keys To Energizing Your Work And Life by Tom Rath, introduces people to new strategies to increase their productivity and overall well-being at work and in their lives.

Are you Fully Charged_ The 3 Keys To Energizing Your Work And Life by Tom Rath

STRATEGY #1: Find meaning in helping people

Through his research, Tom Rath found that bringing meaning is detrimental to organizations and to self. Deriving meaningfulness from money and power is the fastest way to sabotage yourself, is not sustainable because it opens up door to comparison, damages your well-being and relationships.

In order to create meaningfulness, to strengthen your relationships and increase your performance at work:

  • Stop seeking happiness and stop putting your well-being first all the time. Sometimes, put people’s need before your own.
  • Create meaningful interactions to protect yourself from negative thoughts, depressions.
  • Contribute to a collective good to make a difference.
  • Dedicate extra hours to meaningful activities.
  • Avoid doing what people expect of you but explore different areas of interests.
  • Focus on the impact of your work, on internal motives rather than external motives. Find ways to remind yourself of your internal motivators daily.
  • Understand your contribution to your organization, your efforts to work. Your efforts can be attached to a larger purpose afterwards.
  • Identify the right work to that it is not only a monetary transaction and that you are emotionally engaged, have better interactions with your colleagues, be more productive. Financial security contribute to happiness.
  • Assess your strengths and weaknesses and apply them to the organization, fill a specific need. Work on your talents to grow and be great at something
  • Say no to distractions. Being busy is not synonymous to importance or progress.

STRATEGY #2: Create positive interactions

To thrive in the workplace and to better your work performance, it is important to intentionally create positive interactions:

  • Assume the best of a situation and of an interaction and learn to convert a negative into a positive.
  • In performance review, spend more time discussing strengths than weaknesses.
  • Use positive words to build on relationships. Creating strong bonds with coworkers fosters creativity and increase effectiveness at work, takes a year to solidify. When confronting or in a difficult situation, preface with positive words.
  • Take small steps and appreciate small wins. For example, make someone smile before making them laugh.
  • Pay attention to people so that they don’t assume the worst about you.
  • Ask questions to initiate a conversation, to engage a debate, to build influence, to negotiate.
  • Share embarrassing moments and mistakes to instill trust and to remain humble.
  • Mirror someone else’s behavior to better the conversation.
  • Don’t use your phone when spending time with people, show that you value the conversation, their time and openness.
  • Create enjoyable experiences with loved ones to create long-lasting positive memories. We tend to forget the purchase of material goods over time even though we felt good while buying it.  Create experiences instead and treasure the memory.
  • Spend money on people you care about. Seeing them happy will instantly make you happy.
  • Plan experiences ahead and share the details with people around you so you can look forward to something and increase your well-being.
  • To motivate people to work for you, have them do something for someone else or for the benefit of the team.
  • Be sincere, help someone see their potential and develop their self-confidence.

STRATEGY #3: Take care of yourself

Leaders are the first to arrive early at work and leave late, to sleep less hours. they claim they are busy but their lifestyle is unsustainable and will lead to burnout.

  • Watch what you eat. Acquiring the right food has nothing to do with calories count but everything with quality. Therefore, eat healthy, avoid fried foods, carbohydrates, sugar and eat more vegetables to boost your energy and to positively influence your mood.
  • The human body isn’t built for a sedentary lifestyle. Exercise, avoid sitting down and add as much exercise and movements a day as possible, especially in the morning.
  • Sleep 20 minutes through the day and sleep longer at night to increase your ability to think, your productivity, health and well-being. Lack of sleep reduces alertness and awareness.
  • Don’t work on a same activity for too long, it will diminish your performance. Take multiple breaks.
  • To improve sleep quality, close the light of your electronic devices, cancel out noises with white noise or noise cancelling devices.
  • Good lifestyle habits create a buffer against stressful situations and slow down the aging process.
  • Take a minute before responding to a negative situation.
  • View stressful situations as challenges.

Review

Are you Fully Charged? The 3 Keys To Energizing Your Work And Life, by Tom Rath, is an easy to read self-help book, a practical guide to life and social interactions. It teaches us how to increase our well-being and make the mots of a bad experience.

Tom Rath has been battling an illness his whole life and as a consequence has the ability to put a positive spin on any situation.

Favorite quote(s)

I have discovered that creating meaning is central not just to my existence but to that of every organization in society today. Businesses, schools, governments, families, and faith-based groups are being challenged more than ever to show how they make a meaningful contribution to society. The essential thing people want in a job today is work that will allow them to create meaning for others.

Work should be more than a necessary means to an end.

The best experiences create memories and well-being that last for years to come.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Tom Rath

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Are you self-sabotaging at work? 18 Tips to Learn to improve your work performance and climb up the corporate ladder

jonathan-pendleton-61209We all have a dream of outperforming ourselves at work and staying consistent and moving up in our career.

However, we have difficulties bringing our wishes and expectations to life.

Furthermore, in the fast and highly competitive corporate world, some of our attitudes, assumptions, values, flaws often render us completely ineffective, come in the way of us being the best version of ourselves, from learning new skills, from developing our talents.

The reality is that, despite our best intentions, we are often our worst enemies, are unable to improve our career, to achieve our definition of success, to satisfy our higher purpose.

We thereby harbor dissatisfaction, self-defeating thoughts and resort to self-sabotaging actions.

Wondering how to become a better performer, a better contributor, a better leader in the workplace and control the self-sabotaging tendencies?

Most of the time, self-sabotage takes roots from collaborators sometimes abusing substance, striving too hard for materialistic success.

Self-sabotage also stems from an inability to control extreme negative thoughts and emotions such as anger, guilt or resentment, and an inability to control other people. Indeed, in the workplace, low performing employees and leaders tend to either:

  • complain too much about circumstances,
  • not take action or initiative,
  • doubt their capabilities,
  • be addicted to praise,
  • struggle to live up to other people expectations. Not pursuing your true purpose and implementing somebody else dream cause you to subconsciously rebel against your current situation.
  • act impatient,
  • be unable to follow rules or respect authority figure,
  • be unable to handle the pressures of responsibility;
  • misinterpret the image they have of themselves
  • be busy or lack time management skills,
  • lack conflict resolution skills,
  • fear the unknown,
  • fear criticism, looking ridiculous or being embarrassed,
  • fear change or fear success,
  • feel rejected or reject their own being,
  • fear failure. Failures are usually blessings in disguise.

How to improve these bad habits and become an effective member of the workforce?

Becoming a better performer and contributor in the workplace doesn’t end at solely executing your duties and providing acceptable results, it also means working on your character and core values. To enable effective performance in the workplace, it is necessary to:

  1. Assess your strengths and weaknesses and ground them into reality. I cannot stress enough how self-discovery is an important and long life process that allows to:
    • upgrade your moral compass and create new ethical standards,
    • accept our unique distinctions,
    • evaluate your role and contributions at work,
    • assist, be assisted by coworkers or team members with a complementing set of skills.
  2. Understand your interests and abilities. This way you are able to develop your core capabilities, to choose the work that stimulates you the most, the workplace in which you best fit in and the team that complements you the best.
  3. Keep learning, grow your knowledge and your emotional intelligence that you may increase satisfaction at work, to envision greater possibilities, to overcome obstacles and to be successful in every area of your life by:
    • doing something new, something different, challenging your thoughts and your routine,
    • nurturing your natural curiosity about the world, about what you don’t know,
    • breaking routine and mindless actions to stimulate your imagination,
    • tackling your fears and negative emotions head and listing the consequences of your actions.
  4. Adjust your self-image to reality by writing down:
    • the qualities you have about yourself and the ones you want to acquire,
    • your trigger points. Don’t let identifying your trigger points to get discouraged and give up on yourself. Noticing your self-sabotaging habits is actually beneficial to you: you are probably not in the walk of life that you wish or supposed to be in.
  5. Act responsibility, be proactive, take initiative. Take on more responsibility and assignments, perform them with enthusiasm and motivation in order to become confident in your abilities, autonomous, dependable, emotionally mature and trustworthy. Indeed, the more you take on responsibility, the more you learn about yourself, the more you understand the consequences of your actions, the faster you admit your mistakes as soon as you notice them, the better you remain accountable especially when things go wrong, the more you grow, the more you gain competencies, the more you are willing to take initiative and even risks.
  6. Discipline yourself by inspecting and readjusting your thoughts, actions and behaviors to set standards, and dominating your immediate desires and impulses.
  7. Stay true to yourself. Avoid comparing yourself to others and competing with others.
  8. Allow yourself to think. In silence, without looking for distractions, confront yourself, make peace with yourself, strengthen your decision-making skills, observe bad habits, and therefore learn more about yourself, find your true purpose, learn to trust your intuition and inner feelings. Meditation, quiet contemplation, introspection are the key to staying alert, to increase your performance at work, to develop and recognize good ideas, to stay engaged and more conscious of your life.
  9. Define clear goals and seek better methods to become more productive, more competent in the workplace.
  10. Learn to insulate yourself from the noise in the workplace.
  11. Vary your experiences and get out your comfort zone.
  12. Take care of your physical health. Exercise regularly.
  13. Make a good impression, from day one, without overdoing it and running a political campaign, by dressing appropriately and being punctual.
  14. Respect and treat people the way you would like to be respected and treated. Uplift people instead of bringing them down or being considered as a toxic coworker in the workplace. Develop relationships and properly manage people emotions, don’t impose your emotions on others, don’t create enemies where you can have a supportive friend. As a result, you can become a good contributor and a valuable team member.
  15. Embrace change, renew your coping and self-defense mechanism.
  16. Expect to make mistakes, to learn from them and keep it moving.
  17. Avoid naysayers and haters like the plague. Change your circle of friends if they are the ones bringing you down.
  18. Service others. Servicing others doesn’t mean to submit to everyone and to every order. It means doing your best to get along with one another.

Last words of advice!

If you happen to abuse substance or are in emotional distress in the workplace, don’t be ashamed, you are not alone. Please talk about it to your closest family and friends, or find the nearest Workplace Help Center.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life By Gary John Bishop

Self talk is everything. Matter of fact, it has been proven that negative self talk has tremendous impact on your health and your level of success.

Indeed, we can determine our emotions and actions by steering our thoughts. We can then control out thoughts by monitoring our self talk and the language we use. We can finally use strong and assertive language when speaking to and about ourselves.

There are several principles to change your mindset, to unf*** yourself and to achieve true success.

1. Your life won’t change until you make it

You must understand that you:

  • Have the life that you are willing to put up with.
  • Are not defined by your circumstances but only how you respond to them.
  • Even if you have no control over life events, you have full control of how you respond to it.

So, it is imperative that you stop playing the victim, stop blaming others, stop blaming luck, your childhood and other external influences for your circumstances.

You must also find out what you are willing or unwilling to pursue and put up with.

2. You will succeed at whatever you set your mind to

The reality is that you are already winning at the life you have.

Your failures and hurts are hidden victories that are pushing towards your subconscious goals in whatever domain you are working in.

You will find out sooner or later that you are really good at what you believe, at realizing your assumptions about yourself.

Therefore, once you understand that principle, you can use that aspect of our mind to go after positive goals.

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life By Gary John Bishop #books #bookreview #overcomefear #success

3. It’s all a matter of perspective

Negative experiences have a tendency to spread like wildfire. It seeps through our everyday life and turn small problems into bigger ones.

The reality is everybody has problems but your problem is not always as big as it seems. To put things into perspective:

  • Don’t allow your struggles to overlap with different aspects of your life.
  • Take several steps back until you have a clear logical view of your problems.
  • Face your past and future. You have probably faced these same problems in the past or worse and have overcome them. Looking back at your past, you will realize how ridiculous some problems now seem.
  • Believe that the future has great things in store for you. 
  • Solve problems one by one.

4. You must take risks to be successful

We are obsessed with a need for safety and for certainty. Subsequently, we have stopped taking risks.

At some point in your life, you were taking risks.

Those risks have now become an inherent part of your routine. The moment you stop taking risks is the moment your life becomes flat and unsuccessful.

To be successful, you have to be willing to take risks, to face uncertainty, to look stupid and to be judged.

5. You are not your feelings

What you think and what you do are two different things and won’t necessarily align.

Most successful people and overachievers have understood that principle.

They feel the negative feelings but focus and act independently from their thoughts.

You don’t have to feel like it to act like it. By acting or by fully immersing yourself in activities, you reduce the amount of negative thoughts that you experience.

6. Success is waiting outside of your comfort zone

Some of your biggest achievements happened when you stepped out your comfort zone.

The more you remove yourself from your comfort zone, the more you will feel a sense of accomplishments when you succeed.

7. You have to be relentless

To get what you want, you have to be relentless, avoid distractions and disagree with negative thoughts.

You also have to start focusing on the problems in front of you, one obstacle at a time.

You don’t give up, you don’t quit, you don’t change your plans.

8. Your expectations won’t always be met

Remember that you have the freedom to choose.

Life and opportunities will never fully meet your expectations.

That’s why you have to learn to expect nothing and accept everything.

Review

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop, is designed for people who feel stuck in life, who lack introspection and who need to build themselves up from the inside out.

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life teaches you how to talk to yourself, to find your true potential, to stop self sabotage and being offended.

Gary John Bishop repurposed the ancient principles of stoicism and shares tips on how to master your mind in order to be successful.

He also provides you with great words of affirmation and personal assertions. So, check it out!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.

It’s entirely within our power to determine how we think about and talk about our problems. They can be a nuisance or a stepping stone. They can hold us down or lift us up.

everything is solve-able, and if you can’t see a solution, it only means you haven’t worked it out yet.

Success is never certain. It never comes without risk.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Gary John Bishop

 

 

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