In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer encourages people to be their Best Self.
What is your Best Self?
Your Best Self is unique, positive, evolved and aligned with your truth.
When you are being your best self, you are being your most authentic and at your core.
How to connect with your Best Self?
Connecting with your Best Self takes time and requires patience. To get in touch with your Best Self:
Express gratitude frequently to get out of a negative space. Make a gratitude list of everything that puts you in a good mood or elevates you in any kind of way.
Embrace change. Everybody can change if they want to, they just have to apply the right motivations.
Identify your fears. Once you have identified your fears, put them to the test to see if your assumptions are true, if they are rational, if they help you succeed, or if they serve your best interests.
Recognize any signs of egotistical behavior. Once you have acknowledge your behavior, assess the origins of it and get your ego in check.
Assessing your Best Self
“SPHERES stands for Social life, Personal life, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment, and Spiritual life”.
The SPHERES tool, create by Mike Bayer, is a screening tool used to assess your Best Self in all areas of your life.
Your social life
In the SPHERES tool, your social situation determines how well you project your Best Self to the world.
It then becomes imperative to analyze how you interact with people. You can also assess your ability to send clear messages, to listen to others, to embrace human emotions, to handle highly charged situations, to give and receive feedback.
Your personal life
Your personal life contains your self-image, your self-talk, the level of compassion and respect you have for yourself.
To create the personal life that you want, you will have to:
Rewire your brain to think positively by challenging your internal dialogue.
Get familiar with what you are constantly telling yourself.
Identify the messages you tell yourself when you are under pressure.
Log your thoughts and your self-talk, identify the common themes and tones.
Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of yourself and monitor your stress levels before they snowball. If you take care of yourself, you will definitely be able to take care of others.
Connect with your passions. Your passions will vary throughout your life. Your passions will allow you to express yourself, to strengthen your bond with your Best Self and vibrate at a higher frequency. To find your passions, explore new things, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone.
Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be present, keep a clear mind and achieve your Best Self.
Remaining in a “lifetime learning mode” will help you evolve into your Best Self and become more self-aware.
Once you find your passions, you will take pleasure in acquiring knowledge in that field.
Your Best Self will gauge who you want to be around, judge the health of a relationship and help you make the tough decisions.
In order to stay connected to your Best Self in all relationships, you must define your core values, exercise them and identify the people who live up to them.
We spend most of our days at work.
So, when we are not able to fully be ourselves, our work life tends to become draining.
It somehow becomes important to nurture our Best Selves at work or create a career path that allows us to maximize our potential at work.
In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer shares tips and tools to help you achieve your Best Self. He helps you make a diagnostic of all the aspects of your life and provides practical solutions to your problems.
Furthermore, Best Self: Be You, Only Better is a workbook that teaches you how to fix what’s inside to fix outside. It is on point when it comes to assessing people’s behavior and can conveniently be revisited several time in your life.
Best Self: Be You, Only Better is ideal for leaders who want to improve their leadership skills and bring their best selves at work. It becomes clear that if you are your best self, you can create the best teams, take care of others and create the best organization.
With this workbook:
Get in touch with your Best Self.
Reach your highest potential.
Find more balance in your life.
Evolve, change, reinvent yourself and improve your life.
Learn to handle adversity and crisis.
Discover your truth and your purpose.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Many of society’s “rules” simply don’t apply to us as individuals, and if we spend all our energy on trying to be, do, say, and act like society wants us to, we are simply wasting time we could be spending on discovering and connecting with our Best Self.
Self-care is foundational to living your ideal life.
Indeed, women – especially minorities – have the hardest time being assertive in the workplace.
Depending on society’s norms, corporate culture, personal fears, gender or ethnical background, being assertive can be perceived as being aggressive, bossy or disrespectful.
Wondering how to become a more assertive leader?
What is assertiveness?
Assertiveness is a useful communication style that helps people create a well balanced life and relate to people easily.
With this communication style, assertive leaders acknowledge the importance of their thoughts and opinions, honestly express their thoughts and opinions, understand that their behavior – and theirs only – is within their control.
The benefits of assertive leadership?
The corporate world talks about confidence in leadership more that we talk about assertiveness.
Assertive leadership is being able to take a position, speak up and speak your mind.Assertive leaders:
Have control over their lives.
Have clear boundaries.
Have great relationships.
Listen to the needs of others.
Choose to fulfill the need of others.
Have respect for themselves and for others.
Get respect from their coworkers.
Are serene and are unafraid of conflicts.
Don’t try to people please or to seek outside validation.
Are able to calmly and honestly express their needs and wants.
Being assertive is a skill that takes time to harness.
Assertiveness cannot be obtained overnight. It takes practice, self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.
Assertive leaders stand by several truths, that they apply on a daily basis.
Truth #1. Everybody has an opinion
Assertive leaders understand that everybody has an opinion that they are entitled to.
They know that they are entitled to their own opinions and that their opinions have value.
They don’t have to apologize for their opinion. Instead, they own them.
They don’t let outside opinion define them and they can agree to disagree.
Truth #2. Self-awareness is key
Assertive leaders are self-aware, understand that they matter and their opinion has value.
Assertive leaders believe that their feelings, emotions and opinions are valid and important.
Their thoughts and decisions are their own even when they don’t make sense.
The 10X Rule By Grant Cardoneis an inspirational and motivational book, written for leaders, entrepreneurs and anyone who wishes to be successful.
It forces you to reevaluate your goals, your purpose and your definition of success.
It encourages you to take risks, “act, produce and create in massive quantities regardless of the situation or circumstances.”
It demonstrates how to be and stay the leader in any field. The 10X Rule focuses on your character, your mindset and your goal-setting skills.
Most of the time, we struggle to reach our goals and don’t understand why. But, Grant Cardone makes it very clear that:
You must be self-aware and self-assured.
You are the only one that stands in front of your goals.
Success depends integrally on the effort, time and energy that you put in.
Most of what society claims to be wrong is an inherent part of success.
To Grant Cardone success is a mindset and is determined by your purpose.
The 10X Rule is not a get rich quick trick. Remember:
All goals are difficult to achieve.
You will always face some type of adversity.
You must assess your abilities and your resources.
Your goals must be extraordinary, appropriate and require motivation.
Success must be constantly maintained.
You current state doesn’t matter.
The way you are perceived doesn’t matter.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
When you have underestimated the time, energy, and effort necessary to do something, you will have “quit” in your mind, voice, posture, face, and presentation. You won’t develop the persistence necessary to get your mission accomplished.
Never take the position that things just happen to you; rather, they happen because of something you did or did not do.
Until a person is done being a victim, he or she is unable to create solutions and success. That person only has problems.
The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity.
If you are not creating new problems for yourself, then you aren’t taking enough action.
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith serves as a roadmap to help you get where you want to go in life and at work.
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith helps people:
Get into leadership position.
Put your vision into action.
Identify and change bad habits.
Succeed and reach higher heights of success.
Understand that the same skills that got you previous success and won’t get you to the next level.
Why is it so hard to stop a bad habit?
It is not easy for successful people to change their behavior because their past successes have acted as positive reinforcement and have solidified some of your behaviors.
Furthermore, stopping a bad behavior isn’t as rewarded as you would think but it detrimental to success.
Indeed, we don’t get as much credit for stopping something as much as starting something.
Successful people either assume that:
They are right and everybody else is wrong.
People who want them to change are confused.
What you think about them doesn’t matter to them.
Their behavior is not hindering their success.
Changing their behavior is not worth it.
To get people to change their behavior, it is important to have them identify what they value most and somewhat “threaten” that value.
21 Habits That Got You Here But Won’t Get You There
Some people are successful in spite of their behavior.
Understand that you can be successful in spite of your flaws.
Recognize our bad behavior.
Examine your behaviors to see what feelings are attached to them.
Avoid attacking value to the bad behavior that you associate with success.
Find a reason to change, an example that will act as a positive reinforcement.
Marshall Goldsmith exhibits 21 behaviors that alienate people, that you need to stop and that are simple to correct.
Habit #1. Winning too much
In the case, the urge to win is strong and is triggered in any situation, whether it matters or not.
However, the need to win can limit your success because it can destroy relationships.
Habit #2. Adding too much value
Another habit of smart people is always feeling the need to add value to every discussion, to run the show.
They need to let everybody know that they already know or that they know a better way.
The need to add value is simple a variation of the need to win.
Habit #3. Passing judgment
Passing judgement pushes people away because people do not like to be rated or critiqued.
Imposing your standards on people, approving or disapproving of people’s decision will make you seem unwelcoming and disagreeable.
Habit #4. Making destructive comments
Some people make destructive comments without thinking: they put people down, they hurt them or assert themselves as their superiors.
This habit of making hurtful and sarcastic remarks quickly erodes teamwork and cooperation.
It can stem from a habit of always being candid or from a need to sound sharp and witty.
Habit #5. Starting with “No”, “But” or “However”
Starting with “No”, “But” or “However” says that whatever the other person is saying is wrong and what you are saying is right.
The use of these negative qualifiers comes from a need to win and defend your position.
Habit #6. Telling the world how smart we are
The need to demonstrate how smart you are is a variation of the need to win, to gain people’s admiration and to communicate that you are two steps ahead of everyone else.
Habit #7. Speaking when angry
Anger can be a valuable management tool but it does not guarantee how people will react to your emotional outbursts.
However, anger is not a leadership tool. Using anger as a tool says that you are out of control and that you cannot lead. It stifles your ability to change and brands you as being emotionally volatile.
Habit #8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”
Everybody avoids negative people in the workplace.
Negative people find problems to every one of your solutions.
They are not helpful. They don’t add value but they want to demonstrate that their knowledge is superior to everybody else’s.
Habit #9. Withholding information
Withholding information is part of corporate culture and is used to gain power.
People who withhold information answer questions with a question, tend to be passive aggressive and promote mistrust.
It becomes important to improve your communications skills, to make sharing information a priority, and to inform people what you are up to.
Habit #10. Failing to give proper recognition
People who are unable to praise and reward, who don’t recognize the contribution of others technically withhold information.
People who are not recognized feel unsuccessful, unappreciated, forgotten and ignored.
Habit #11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve
The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
People who claim credit withhold praise and congratulations, overlook the right people, deprive them from recognition.
People who claim credit are thieves and need to win. Whether you are the perpetrator or the victim of credit hogging:
Write down every time you congratulate yourself per day.
Review your list and discern who deserves credit.
Habit #12. Making excuses
Making excuses is not a viable leadership strategy and stops self-development.
Excuses are different from explanation. However, most people use excuses to explain their failures.
Habit #13. Clinging to the past
The past explains a lot of our behavior.
Most people live in the past because they can blame others for things that happened to them.
However, clinging to the past is unhealthy. The past cannot be changed, rewritten or excuses. It can only be accepted.
Habit #14. Playing favorites
Some leaders unknowingly play favorites.
They encourage people who serve them, praise them and admire them unconditionally.
Playing favorites is dangerous because you select the wrong people, you favor people who don’t necessarily like you, you fail to recognize the people who deserve it.
Habit #15. Refusing to express regret
People who refuse to express regret are unable to forgive, to apologize, to admit their wrongs, to cede power or control.
Refusing to apologize can create a toxic workplace. However, apologizing is powerful tool.
Habit #16. Not listening
Lack of attention is one of the most common bad habits in the workplace.
Not listening to someone demonstrates that you are impatient, don’t care about what they are saying, that they are wasting your time, that you don’t understand what they are saying.
Habit #17. Failing to express gratitude
Expressing gratitude is a powerful and essential tool to success.
Habit #18. Punishing the messenger
Punishing the messenger tend to attack those who blow the whistle and who bring bad news to us.
Habit #19. Passing the buck
The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
Passing the buck means finding a scapegoat, blaming others for our mistakes.
Leaders who pass the buck are difficult to follow because they don’t take responsibility for their actions.
Habit #20. An excessive need to be “me”
People who feel the need to be themselves hold on to behaviors they think intrinsically define them.
They refuse to change because they see it as being inauthentic.
The truth is they have a limited definition of themselves.
Habit #21. Goal obsession
Goal obsession can drive to success but it can also drive to failure.
Goal obsession or obsessing over the wrong goals become negative when you force yourself to achieve your goals in spite of the bigger picture, of your manners and your character.
How To Overcome These 21 Habits?
To dispel these habits, it is important to learn what type of information is appropriate to share, when and how to convey information, who to ask for information, how to discern useful information.
To overcome these 21 habits:
Ask for feedback. Change does not happen with negative feedback but with honest and helpful feedback.
Get feedback on your own from your surroundings and from how people react to you.
Learn to apologize for your bad behavior to the people who matter most to you. By apologizing, you mend broken relationships and overcome negative emotions.
Demonstrate changed behavior or your intention to change your behavior.
Listen more than you speak and listen with respect.
Follow up on your progress by asking your coworkers.
Discuss the behavior you are changing to one person and ask them for suggestions in the future.
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is a very insightful book. It serves as a workplace guide of the things not to do.
It is written for leaders and for people who want to move up in life and at work.
According to Marshall Goldsmith, everybody has a at least six to eight habits that need to be stopped. From the look of it, we are all guilty of these habits.
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is definitely a good place to start when you are looking to improve, when you are looking to understand the people and the different dynamics in the workplace.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
We have to stop couching all our behavior in terms of positive or negative. Not all behavior is good or bad. Some of it is simply neutral. Neither good nor bad.
the higher you go, the more your problems are behavioral.
As we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.
If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.
Gratitude is a skill that we can never display too often. And yet for some reason, we are cheap and chary with gratitude—as if it were rare Bordeaux wine that we can serve only on special occasions. Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is as abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale.