Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer encourages people to be their Best Self.

What is your Best Self?

Your Best Self is unique, positive, evolved and aligned with your truth.

When you are being your best self, you are being your most authentic and at your core.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer #books #bookreview #selfesteem #selfimprovement #leader #leadership #selfdevelopment #lifecoaching #lifecoach

How to connect with your Best Self?

Connecting with your Best Self takes time and requires patience. To get in touch with your Best Self:

  • Express gratitude frequently to get out of a negative space. Make a gratitude list of everything that puts you in a good mood or elevates you in any kind of way.
  • Embrace change. Everybody can change if they want to, they just have to apply the right motivations.
  • Identify your fears. Once you have identified your fears, put them to the test to see if your assumptions are true, if they are rational, if they help you succeed, or if they serve your best interests.
  • Recognize any signs of egotistical behavior. Once you have acknowledge your behavior, assess the origins of it and get your ego in check.

Assessing your Best Self

“SPHERES stands for Social life, Personal life, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment, and Spiritual life”.

The SPHERES tool, create by Mike Bayer, is a screening tool used to assess your Best Self in all areas of your life.

Your social life 

In the SPHERES tool, your social situation determines how well you project your Best Self to the world.

It then becomes imperative to analyze how you interact with people. You can also assess your ability to send clear messages, to listen to others, to embrace human emotions, to handle highly charged situations, to give and receive feedback.

Your personal life

Your personal life contains your self-image, your self-talk, the level of compassion and respect you have for yourself.

To create the personal life that you want, you will have to:

  • Rewire your brain to think positively by challenging your internal dialogue.
  • Get familiar with what you are constantly telling yourself.
  • Identify the messages you tell yourself when you are under pressure.
  • Log your thoughts and your self-talk, identify the common themes and tones.
  • Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of yourself and monitor your stress levels before they snowball. If you take care of yourself, you will definitely be able to take care of others.
  • Connect with your passions. Your passions will vary throughout your life. Your passions will allow you to express yourself, to strengthen your bond with your Best Self and vibrate at a higher frequency. To find your passions, explore new things, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

Your health

Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be present, keep a clear mind and achieve your Best Self.

Your education

Remaining in a “lifetime learning mode” will help you evolve into your Best Self and become more self-aware.

Once you find your passions, you will take pleasure in acquiring knowledge in that field.

Your relationships

Your relationships reflect who you are as a person.

Your Best Self will gauge who you want to be around, judge the health of a relationship and help you make the tough decisions.

In order to stay connected to your Best Self in all relationships, you must define your core values, exercise them and identify the people who live up to them.

Your employment

We spend most of our days at work.

So, when we are not able to fully be ourselves, our work life tends to become draining.

It somehow becomes important to nurture our Best Selves at work or create a career path that allows us to maximize our potential at work.

Review

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer shares tips and tools to help you achieve your Best Self. He helps you make a diagnostic of all the aspects of your life and provides practical solutions to your problems.

Furthermore, Best Self: Be You, Only Better is a workbook that teaches you how to fix what’s inside to fix outside. It is on point when it comes to assessing people’s behavior and can conveniently be revisited several time in your life.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better is ideal for leaders who want to improve their leadership skills and bring their best selves at work. It becomes clear that if you are your best self, you can create the best teams, take care of others and create the best organization.

With this workbook:

  • Get in touch with your Best Self.
  • Reach your highest potential.
  • Find more balance in your life.
  • Evolve, change, reinvent yourself and improve your life.
  • Learn to handle adversity and crisis.
  • Discover your truth and your purpose.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Many of society’s “rules” simply don’t apply to us as individuals, and if we spend all our energy on trying to be, do, say, and act like society wants us to, we are simply wasting time we could be spending on discovering and connecting with our Best Self.

Self-care is foundational to living your ideal life.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Mike Bayer

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Mike Bayer

MEET THE AUTHOR

Mike Bayer is a professional personal development coach, CEO and founder of CAST Centers. Mike Bayer is also the author of Best Self: Be You, Only Better.

23 Things Leaders Need To Stop Doing Right Now

The best leaders are authenticself-disciplined and self-aware.

They know their strengths, weaknesses and limitations. 

They are honest with themselves and realize when they have harbored behaviors that need to be changed.

Wondering what are the things that you need to stop doing immediately?

23 Things Leaders Need To Stop Doing Right Now

#1. Stop depending on people for your self worth

Depending on people for your self-worth is risky because the people who build you up can also break you down.

To find your self-worth, you must stop comparing yourself to others, accept your unique distinctions, discover your abilities, auto-evaluate your role and contributions at work.

#2. Stop trying to be the center of attention

Leaders who place themselves at the center of attention take credit for their employees work, want to appear bigger than they really are, overestimate their contribution.

#3. Stop trying to be liked by everybody

If everybody likes you, you are either a person pleaser, a doormat or delusional.

#4. Stop being overly emotions

Emotions give us insight into our subconscious.

They are valuable tool to understand ourselves but they need to be controlled in order to lead and make the best decisions.

#5. Stop encouraging aggressive office politics

Toxic leaders turn their workplace into the hunger games for their own environment.

Workers then become unproductive and pay more attention to the drama than results and quality of work.

#6. Stop creating unreachable goals

Unreachable goals put unnecessary pressure on your employees.

Not every employee knows how to handle their stress. They most likely will end up getting distracted, lashing out at others or underperforming.

#7. Stop over processing everything

Leaders create processes that overwhelm their employees and that take time.

Deconstructing some processes help employees get their job done faster.

#8. Stop scheduling meetings just to do meetings

We have all been on a job where we go through pointless and endless meetings.

We come out those meetings drained, confused and filled with useless information.

#9. Stop the lack of transparency

It’s OK to change opinions or come through with mew decisions.

The only thing, you have to speak the truth, to be transparent, share when and why your opinions and decisions have changed.

#10. Stop amplifying internal conflicts

Conflicts are inevitable in the workplace.

You work with people who were raised differently and who have different sets of values.

However, internal conflicts create distractions, drama and not results.

It is best to shut down internal conflicts and focus on the real work issues.

#11. Stop micromanaging your team

Micromanaging leaders need to stay in control at all times.

They believe that they get things done better on their own and have a hard time delegating.

They just cannot control everything.

#12. Stop spreading yourself too thin

As a leader, you want to know everything and be everywhere at once.

You engage in so many projects that you don’t have the time to breathe of enjoy them.

The reality is that you cannot participate in everything because you will end up underperforming.

If you want to mater everything, you will master none. Stop saying yes to everything.

#13. Stop passing judgement

By passing judgement, you place yourself above other people and you push them away.

#14. Stop trying to win

Some leaders want to compete with their employees and win at all cost.

They want to be better at everything.

The reality is that they force their employees to dull themselves down, to downplay their achievements and to avoid speaking up when things go wrong.

#15. Stop showing off your intellect

Some leaders feel the need to express how smart they are and how much they know, even if they don’t.

#16. Stop neglecting your relationships

You have to make time for your employees and those you value.

Taking care of your relationships create employee engagement and alignment.

#17. Stop obsessing over results

When you obsess over results you forget to:

  • observe the bigger picture,
  • nurture your core values and character,
  • pay attention to those who drive your business.

#18. Stop overworking yourself

Leaders are constantly under pressure over long periods of time.

To combat that pressure, some leaders micromanage, spread themselves thin, arrive early and stay late.

If they don’t nurture a healthy work life balance, they can easily break down and burn out.

#19. Stop quitting

Perseverance is key and giving up too soon will cause you to miss out on success.

Besides, quitting when things get tough will demoralize your team ad damage your self-esteem.

#20. Stop procrastinating

Procrastination is the action of putting off an important yet unpleasant task.

It is avoiding pain and pushing it back for later, it is neither starting nor completing a task.

However, a leader has no room for procrastination.

Leaders who procrastinate are ineffective, unproductive and unaware of their own abilities.

#21. Stop sandbagging your employees

Place your employees in positions where they can maximize their potential.

#22. Stop being negative

Negativity is contagious and hard to get rid of in the workplace.

Negative leaders don’t motivate their team and find problems to every solutions.

#23. Stop acting alone

Leaders make decisions alone but they need their team to bring their visions to life.

They don’t need to act alone if they surround themselves with the right people.

Last Words Of Advice!

As a leader, you are role models to their employees.

You have to constantly be careful of the behaviors that you demonstrate and that you want to perpetuate.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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19 Signs You Are Doing A Great Job As A Leader

Being a leader is hard work.

Matter of fact, the demands of the job can take a toll on your leadership and on your self-perception.

There are plenty of weak leaders who give in to the pressures of the job and become horrible bosses.

If leadership was easy, everybody would aim for the job and everybody would do it.

Sometimes, it is good to remind yourself that you are a good leader.

Wondering what are the signs that you are doing a great job as a leader?

19 Signs You Are Doing A Great Job As A Leader

Sign #1. Leadership wasn’t your main goal

The truth is you didn’t want to be a leader in the first place.

You simply wanted to be competent, enjoy your job and you have always put your best foot forward.

You maintain your work ethic even though you have never aimed for a leadership position.

Sign #2. You don’t abuse your power

Great leaders don’t mistreat their employees because they understand that their business depends on them.

They treat people humanely, empower their employees and make sure to maintain a healthy workplace culture.

Sign #3. You don’t play mind games with your employees

You give your employees the respect they deserve by telling them the truth.

You don’t pit them against each other, gaslight them or scapegoat them.

You don’t play favorites.

You don’t force them to be something that they are not just to please you.

You don’t shift blame or prey on your employees insecurities.

You don’t spasmodically change the expectations, sabotage their efforts with irresponsible deadlines and over the top objectives.

Sign #4. You manage your own insecurities 

You don’t have imposter syndrome but you are secure with yourself.

Even if you may sometimes feel like a fraud, you don’t take out your insecurities on your team and you manage your insecurities in private.

You don’t put people down, ego or power trip in order to sit down your authority or feel better about yourself.

You treat everyone with fairness.

Sign #5. You are not self-centered

You are hyper-aware of your surroundings.

Everything you do is for others and to answer to a higher purpose.

You adopt a servant leadership style and lead with humility.

Often poor leadership is masked by those with the loudest voices and strongest opinions. - Nick Fewings Click To Tweet

Sign #6. You are not defined by your mistakes

You do not punish yourself for your mistakes.

In addition, you do not punish others for their mistakes. Instead, you give them the opportunity to correct their mistakes and to learn from them.

Sign #7. You take care of your employees well being

You make sure that your employees goals align with yours.

You take care of their well being first because you link productivity to your team’s mental health.

If they are sick, you invite them to take days off.

If they are bored, you give them challenges to fulfill them.

If they are under performing, you place them in their areas of strength.

Sign #8. You maintain your calm under pressure

You don’t lash out on your employees when you are under pressure.

Instead, you stay transparent, explain the reason for the bad situation, come up with an appropriate situation and make the hard decisions.

Sign #9. You don’t participate in office politics

It is quite easy to get caught up in office politics.

The best strategy is to stay clear from all drama.

You don’t talk about your employees to your employees.

Sign #10. You don’t drag out conflicts

You believe in forgiveness so conflicts can quickly be resolved.

You want to maintain a healthy workplace where employees are not bullied, are unafraid to express divergent opinions.

Sign #11. You get down in the trenches

You don’t let your employees do the dirty work.

Your employees will trust and respect someone who is competent, who can do what they do without complaining. They will know that your directions are sound.

Sign #12. You keep people accountable

You don’t let bad behavior or poor performance slide.

There are ways to let people know that they are going down the wrong path. You know how to give and receive feedback even if it hurts.

Keeping people accountable will allow more employees to ask questions, to take risks, to make mistakes, to admit to their own mistakes and to tell you when you are making some.

Sign #13. You communicate clearly

Every single one of your objectives is communicated and justified.

Your team can clearly follow your train of thought and can understand what you want.

Sign #14. You adopt a democratic leadership style

You do your research and request your employees opinion before making a tough decision.

You make the ultimate decisions but you believe that it is always good to have a sounding board.

Sign #15. You understand the importance of recognition

You don’t hug the spotlight. Instead, you give credit when credit is due.

You recognize when an employee over-performed or nearly burnt out on a project.

Sign #16. You help those who need it

In the workplace, people don’t forget easily (unfortunately).

They don’t forget who helped them in time of need and wont hesitate to reciprocate afterwards.

Sign #17. You love to try new things

You are open to change.

Besides, you are not complacent with your position or with your knowledge.

You are always open to learn new things, to change, to take risks, to question yourself.

Sign #18. You don’t take yourself too seriously

You have serious objectives and a lot of responsibility.

Leadership is hard enough to not have some fun once in a while.

Sign #19. You care way too much

You want the best from and for your team. You care because:

  • You really want them to succeed.
  • You are invested in their well being.
  • You have an open door policy.
  • You listen to their dreams and aspirations, to what they have to say without judgement.

Last Words Of Advice!

If you answer to these signs, then you are definitely doing a great job as a leader.

Otherwise, be kind to yourself and begin working on these signs.

It’s all about finding the right balance for yourself and for your team.

Keep the respect to get alignment, be likable to create influence, be approachable at the same time.

Keep the respect to get alignment, be likable to create influence, be approachable at the same time. - Vanessa Sylvester Click To Tweet

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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The Importance Of Assertive Leadership | 9 Truths Of Assertive Leaders

Being assertive is difficult to some people.

Indeed, women – especially minorities – have the hardest time being assertive in the workplace.

Depending on society’s norms, corporate culture, personal fears, gender or ethnical background, being assertive can be perceived as being aggressive, bossy or disrespectful.

Wondering how to become a more assertive leader?

The Importance Of Assertive Leadership | 9 Truths Of Assertive Leaders

What is assertiveness?

Assertiveness is a useful communication style that helps people create a well balanced life and relate to people easily.

With this communication style, assertive leaders acknowledge the importance of their thoughts and opinions, honestly express their thoughts and opinions, understand that their behavior – and theirs only – is within their control.

The benefits of assertive leadership?

The corporate world talks about confidence in leadership more that we talk about assertiveness.

Assertive leadership is being able to take a position, speak up and speak your mind. Assertive leaders:

  • Have control over their lives.
  • Have clear boundaries.
  • Have great relationships.
  • Listen to the needs of others.
  • Choose to fulfill the need of others.
  • Have respect for themselves and for others.
  • Get respect from their coworkers.
  • Are serene and are unafraid of conflicts.
  • Don’t try to people please or to seek outside validation.
  • Are able to calmly and honestly express their needs and wants.

Being assertive is a skill that takes time to harness.

Assertiveness cannot be obtained overnight. It takes practice, self-awareness, self-love and self-respect.

Assertive leaders stand by several truths, that they apply on a daily basis.

Truth #1. Everybody has an opinion

Assertive leaders understand that everybody has an opinion that they are entitled to.

They know that they are entitled to their own opinions and that their opinions have value.

They don’t have to apologize for their opinion. Instead, they own them.

They don’t let outside opinion define them and they can agree to disagree.

Truth #2. Self-awareness is key

Assertive leaders are self-aware, understand that they matter and their opinion has value.

Assertive leaders believe that their feelings, emotions and opinions are valid and important.

Their thoughts and decisions are their own even when they don’t make sense.

They have disciplined their emotions and can assess every situation that they go through.

Truth #3. Building confidence

Assertive leaders are confident about their abilities and nurture their self-esteem.

It is the belief in our abilities to perform, to get results from our performance, in our worth and in our opinion of ourselves.

In addition, they are attentive to their needs and wants.

They do not seek the approval of others.

They know their strengths, weaknesses and limitations.

Truth #4. Being authentic

Assertive leaders are authentic and are honest with themselves.

Assertive leaders express who they truly are and what they really feel.

Moreover, people are able to freely express themselves around assertive leaders.

Truth #5. Walking with integrity

Assertive leaders act with integrity.

They are walking and talking role models.

When they speak, they mean what they say and say what they mean.

Truth #6. Take back control

Assertive leaders are in control.

They have control over their lives, their emotions and their behavior.

They take risks, take responsibility for their actions and don’t try to solve others people problem for them.

Furthermore, they seek to influence but not to control or manipulate.

Truth #7. Failure is a stepping stone

Assertive leaders are unafraid of failure.

They understand that everybody makes mistakes all the time.

They see failure as a stepping stone to success. Mistakes don’t mean that they are not in control or that the rest of their decisions will be mistakes.

Needless to say, they don’t let their failures define them.

Truth #8. No is an answer

Assertive leaders will politely and respectfully retain the right to say no.

They say no without feeling the need to justify themselves.

They don’t have to accept every opportunity that is brought up to you.

Just remember there are different ways to say no.

Truth #9. Conflict is inevitable

Assertive leaders stand up for themselves and don’t avoid conflict because conflict is inevitable.

Assertive leaders speak up when things go wrong, when a topic has deep meaning to them.

They pick their battles. They don’t have to go around looking for fights, sharing their unwanted opinion and overpowering the opinions of others.

They listen before they speak and don’t minimize divergent opinions.

However, they are unafraid of hurting people’s feelings, of making people uncomfortable or emotional.

Last Words Of Advice!

People are not assertive because they fear judgement, rejection, conflict, challenging the status quo etc…

If you cannot be assertive in a moment, save face by:

  • Requiring some time to think, to reconsider, to schedule a response.
  • Practicing what you have to say in the mirror with the proper voice tone.
  • Trying to write down what you want to say.
  • Making an assertion and not explaining yourself.
  • Communicating clearly, honestly and directly.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

You do not have to be famous, be a millionaire or own a company in the Fortune 500 to be a successful leader.

A successful leader runs a successful business with a healthy return on investment with the help of a successful team.

A successful leader is able to mentally, emotionally, physically and financially provide for his or her team.
Wondering what are the main traits a successful leader?

14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

To become a successful leader, there are a few traits that you need to develop.

The traits of succesful leaders can be acquired anytime in life.

However, it is up to you to maintain them. It will also require a lot of self-discipline, self-motivation and self-awareness.

Trait #1. Successful leaders lead a healthy lifestyle

First and foremost, successful leaders are morning people.

They get a good night sleep.

They wake up early in the morning.

They choose to rise with the sun because it gives them time to think, to meditate, to plan their day.

Furthermore, they eat well and on time.

them, they exercise early in the morning to maintain their physical health, and to get rid of lingering negativity.

Trait #2. Successful leaders have strong conviction

They have the conviction that they are successful and that they will succeed no matter what.

Their conviction comes from their self-awareness, drive, purpose and their strong core values.

They have integrity and hold on to their principles.

They know that they can accomplish anything that they set their mind to.

They rely on their intuition, make their own opinion and don’t follow anyone.

Trait #3. Successful leaders manage their time effectively

They know how to manage their time and prioritize their tasks.

They are willing to handle the most difficult, most important and the most urgent first.

They say no to things that don’t matter to them or to things that don’t fit into the bigger picture.

Trait #4. Successful leaders value solitude

They regularly spend time alone to reflect and to get work done.

Trait #5. Successful leaders own up to their mistake

Indeed, they make mistakes.

They can admit when they have done wrong and can apologize for it.

They reward themselves for their successes and above all learn from their failures.

Trait #6. Successful leaders take calculated risks

They take risks, get out of their comfort zones, recognize what works and what doesn’t.

Trait #7. Successful leaders ask for feedback

They ask for feedback, actively listen to it, and if the feedback is sound, seek to apply it.

Trait #8. Successful leaders set boundaries

They have set clear boundaries in their mind early on.

They know what they need, want, wish for.

They also know what they will not allow or stand for.

They know how to say no and stand their ground.

Trait #9. Successful leaders obsess positively

Leaders spend their time obsessing positively.

By “obsessing positively”, I mean they are passionate and they can focus their attention on their goals for a prolonged amount of time.

Basically, they eat, drink, sleep, think their goals.

Trait #10. Successful leaders have a healthy work life balance

Even though they can obsess over their professional goals, they make time for a personal life.

They make sure to maintain a healthy work life balance.

Trait #11. Successful leaders are optimistic

They are grateful for what they have but are not complacent.

They do not dwell on negativity and CHOOSE to focus on positivity.

They don’t overthink or overanalyze everything.

They don’t play the victim and take responsibility for their actions.

They handle change, failures and pressure gracefully.

They see challenges as an opportunity to learn and they maintain a positive attitude in adversity.

Trait #12. Successful leaders are whole

Their self-esteem does not depend on what others think of them.

They don’t compare their lives with the ones of other people.

They don’t judge but empathize with other people.

They don’t insult but compliment people.

They don’t abuse their authority or power.

They don’t hug the spotlight but give credit when credit is due.

They do not need to harm someone else to feel superior or to feel whole.

They know who, how and when to forgive.

Moreover, they want to see others succeed. They encourage others to grow, to succeed and reach their full potential.

Trait #13. Successful leaders are wise beyond their years

They have a deep understanding of life and of themselves.

They can assess a situation and its outcome before engaging in it.

They have identified their purpose early in life and every decision that they make can be justified.

Trait #14. Successful leaders are learning machines

They are open-minded.

They are always learning, always evolving and always growing.

They understand that learning is a never-ending process, no matter their age or status.

On the flip side, they constantly want to share their knowledge with the world.

Last Words Of Advice!

Successful people inspire and act as role models for others and for their own organization.

Therefore, be mindful of your actions and of your words.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Unfortunately, we have all experienced toxic leadership at some point in our career.

Toxic workplaces and toxic leadership foster because the leader is either encouraging it, participating in it or ignoring it.

Toxic leaders are corrosive on the long run. They erode their employees confidence, motivation, productivity, trust, loyalty and respect.

Wondering if you are a toxic leader or are in the presence of one?

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

#1. Toxic leaders retain useful information

Knowledge is power and toxic leaders know that.

The longer they can keep you in the dark, the longer they have control over you and the longer they stay in power.

In fact, leaders who retain information are insecure and are afraid of being replaced.

#2. Toxic leaders abuse their power and authority

Any chance that they get, toxic leaders need to remind you that they are in power and that they have leverage (financial leverage most of the time) over you.

This type of leaders have huge egos, consider that their employees are subordinates, and do not care who they have to step over to get what they want.

#3. Toxic leaders micromanage their employees

They don’t give people the time or the space to do their job. Instead, they breath down people’s neck.

In fact, micromanaging leaders are counterproductive and create a stressful work environment.

Which, in turn, slows down team work and efficiency.

#4. Toxic leaders condone poor behavior

They accept poor behavior from their team as long as the team produces results.

For example, they would tolerate workplace bullying if it would bring their team closer together.

In turn, they use fear and diverse punishments to incentivize their team.

#5. Toxic leaders manipulate and play aggressive office politics

They play mind games, use information about you against you, love to manipulate and gas light their own team just to stay in power and to advance their career.

#6. Toxic leaders shift responsibility

They talk about accountability but when push comes to shoves they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Besides, when things are great, they take credit for your success. When things go bad, they question your abilities and your failures.

#7. Toxic leaders give orders and don’t expect feedback

For them, it is their way or the high way.

They expect you to follow orders whether that order is right or wrong, whether that order benefits them or not.

The truth is they think that they know best but they actually don’t.

#8. Toxic leaders lie for no reason

They backtrack, bend the rules, adjust procedures, make up stories and rumors to for their needs.

They do not care about the impact of their words and create a culture of distrust.

#9. Toxic leaders protect the status quo

They deeply believe in hierarchy.

They don’t promote change or push innovative ideas.

In addition, they are locked in a particular era, in a particular setting. They don’t wish to modernize or adapt to change.

#10. Toxic leaders are overly emotional

They dramatize everything, have a temper and haven’t got a hold of it.

Their mood usually fluctuates throughout the day.

As a result, their behavior makes people walk on eggshells around them.

#11. Toxic leaders are passive aggressive

Either they play nice to your face and stab you in the back.

Or, they hold their feelings in and act it out instead.

Passive aggressiveness is very difficult to deal with as they don’t offer you any type of resolve.

#12. Toxic leaders lack core values

These leaders are entitled and self-serving.

They do not care about people and put their own interest first, no matter what.

Last Words Of Advice!

Toxic leaders often scare away their best employees.

Toxic leaders are simply fooling themselves because they live in constant fear.

They are afraid of losing control, of losing power, of seeming inferior, of being replaceable…

Furthermore, they let their fear control them and influence their behavior.

It is not necessary for you to play into their hands:

  • Learn from your experiences, about yourself and your limits. You can always extract lessons from a negative experience.
  • Emotionally and physically discipline yourself. Don’t lose your cool. By loosing your cool, you are giving them power over you.
  • Don’t take things personally and don’t let their problems become yours. It’s not about you but it’s all about them.
  • Find emotional support outside of work.
  • Keep your dignity. Don’t let other people actions define your character.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone is a guide to set goals, reach and retain success in any area of your life.

The 10X Rule will help you to define your version of success and to repetitively create extraordinary levels of success.

What is the 10X Rule?

The 10X Rule is achieving success by putting in 10 times the effort and the action that the average person would.

The 10X Rule means acting towards your goals with 10 times the right mindset.

Why is the 10X Rule vital?

Estimating the  right amount of effort and time to invest in your goals will help you reach your target without moving the finish line.

Furthermore, multiplying your effort by 10 will allow you to predict issues and to be prepared.

By using the 10X Rule, you will be able to:

  • Stick to your guns and not be distracted.
  • Define your own version of success.
  • Make a plan for your life.
  • Filter out goals that have been imposed on you.
  • Set your own limits and aim for the impossible.
  • Set a positive and sustainable mindset.
  • Implement your own system of belief.
  • Properly estimate your abilities.
  • Tap into your full potential.
  • Work without it feeling like work.

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone

How to achieve higher levels of success?

Success is having a purposeful life and its realization is your responsibility.

In addition, success is important for your personal growth, for your sense of self and for your well-being.

Success depends on your stage in life and shouldn’t be minimized.

Success is not a popularity contest. - Grant Cardone, in The 10X Rule Click To Tweet

To achieve higher levels of success:

1. Do not play the victim or make excuses

It is detrimental to take responsibility for your actions, to find solutions, take action and gain more control of your life.

2. Relinquish control

In life and at work, you will not control everything. However, you can control how you respond to everything.

3. Be the solution

Understand that you can be the solution and the problem to your situation, at the same time.

4. Do not try to be average

Being average and facing average difficulties will not lead you to success.

People who operate on the average level tend to try to overestimate results, underestimate difficulties, steal success from those who operate at the 10X level.

5. Do not rest on your laurels

Resting on your laurels is the surest way to get overpowered and to lose sight of your goals.

6. Set your goals

Goal-setting plays an important part in your success.

  • Set your goals high enough so you do not fail, so you resist adversity and maintain your enthusiasm.
  • Speak your goals into reality on a daily basis.
  • Align your goals with your purpose.
  • Clearly define your goals.
  • Verify that your goals are equal to your potential.
  • Understand that your goals are personal.

7. Avoid competing with others

When you compete with others, you spend more time watching what someone else is doing rather than creating and setting the pace.

It becomes critical to find your niche, dominate your field and do what others are not willing to do.

8. Be mindful of the company you keep

The people you associate with determine your level of success.

Before joining a group, analyze the pros and the cons of belonging to this group.

9. Get obsessed over success

Obsession is not all negative. Obsession can be converted into action and can be conveyed.

Being obsessed will push you to make things work.

Get obsessed over success.

Get obsessed over every possibilities and every action that will take you towards your goals.

10. Go all in

Going all in means fully committing to your goals and possibly over-delivering.

No matter what, understand that:

  • It is OK put all your eggs in one basket and to over-commit.
  • You can and will fail as many times as you will and can succeed.

11. Embrace fear

Take fear as a sign to keep doing what you actually fear and to keep applying the 10X rule because:

  • Fear means that you are growing.
  • Fear means you are doing something uncomfortable.
  • Your moment is now. There isn’t a good time to take action.

12. Value your time

Time is of the essence. To achieve success: manage your time effectively, maximize your time, set your priorities, create a healthy work-life balance.

13. Do not be afraid of criticism

Criticism means that you are on your way to success when you start taking action.

The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity. - Grant Cardone, in The 10X Rule Click To Tweet

Review

The 10X Rule By Grant Cardone is an inspirational and motivational book, written for leaders, entrepreneurs and anyone who wishes to be successful.

It forces you to reevaluate your goals, your purpose and your definition of success.

It encourages you to take risks, “act, produce and create in massive quantities regardless of the situation or circumstances.”

It demonstrates how to be and stay the leader in any field. The 10X Rule focuses on your character, your mindset and your goal-setting skills.

Most of the time, we struggle to reach our goals and don’t understand why. But, Grant Cardone makes it very clear that:

  • You must be self-aware and self-assured.
  • You are the only one that stands  in front of your goals.
  • Success depends integrally on the effort, time and energy that you put in.
  • Most of what society claims to be wrong is an inherent part of success.

To Grant Cardone  success is a mindset and is determined by your purpose.

The 10X Rule is not a get rich quick trick. Remember:

  • All goals are difficult to achieve.
  • You will always face some type of adversity.
  • You must assess your abilities and your resources.
  • Your goals must be extraordinary, appropriate and require motivation.
  • Success must be constantly maintained.
  • You current state doesn’t matter.
  • The way you are perceived doesn’t matter.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

When you have underestimated the time, energy, and effort necessary to do something, you will have “quit” in your mind, voice, posture, face, and presentation. You won’t develop the persistence necessary to get your mission accomplished.

Never take the position that things just happen to you; rather, they happen because of something you did or did not do.

Until a person is done being a victim, he or she is unable to create solutions and success. That person only has problems.

The most valuable chips you have are your mind-set, actions, persistence, and creativity.

If you are not creating new problems for yourself, then you aren’t taking enough action.

Success is not a popularity contest.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Grant Cardone

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith serves as a roadmap  to help you get where you want to go in life and at work.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith helps people:

  • Get into leadership position.
  • Put your vision into action.
  • Identify and change bad habits.
  • Succeed and reach higher heights of success.
  • Understand that the same skills that got you previous success and won’t get you to the next level.

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Why is it so hard to stop a bad habit?

It is not easy for successful people to change their behavior because their past successes have acted as positive reinforcement and have solidified some of your behaviors.

Furthermore, stopping a bad behavior isn’t as rewarded as you would think but it detrimental to success.

Indeed, we don’t get as much credit for stopping something as much as starting something.

Successful people either assume that:

  • They are right and everybody else is wrong.
  • People who want them to change are confused.
  • What you think about them doesn’t matter to them.
  • Their behavior is not hindering their success.
  • Changing their behavior is not worth it.

To get people to change their behavior, it is important to have them identify what they value most and somewhat “threaten” that value.

21 Habits That Got You Here But Won’t Get You There

Some people are successful in spite of their behavior.

  • Understand that you can be successful in spite of your flaws.
  • Recognize our bad behavior.
  • Examine your behaviors to see what feelings are attached to them.
  • Avoid attacking value to the bad behavior that you associate with success.
  • Find a reason to change, an example that will act as a positive reinforcement.

Marshall Goldsmith exhibits 21 behaviors that alienate people, that you need to stop and that are simple to correct.

Habit #1. Winning too much

In the case, the urge to win is strong and is triggered in any situation, whether it matters or not.

However, the need to win can limit your success because it can destroy relationships.

Habit #2. Adding too much value

Another habit of smart people is always feeling the need to add value to every discussion, to run the show.

They need to let everybody know that they already know or that they know a better way.

The need to add value is simple a variation of the need to win.

Habit #3. Passing judgment

Passing judgement pushes people away because people do not like to be rated or critiqued.

Imposing your standards on people, approving or disapproving of people’s decision will make you seem unwelcoming and disagreeable.

Habit #4. Making destructive comments

Some people make destructive comments without thinking: they put people down, they hurt them or assert themselves as their superiors.

This habit of making hurtful and sarcastic remarks quickly erodes teamwork and cooperation.

It can stem from a habit of always being candid or from a need to sound sharp and witty.

Habit #5. Starting with “No”, “But” or “However”

Starting with “No”, “But” or “However” says that whatever the other person is saying is wrong and what you are saying is right.

The use of these negative qualifiers comes from a need to win and defend your position.

Habit #6. Telling the world how smart we are

The need to demonstrate how smart you are is a variation of the need to win, to gain people’s admiration and to communicate that you are two steps ahead of everyone else.

Habit #7. Speaking when angry

Anger can be a valuable management tool but it does not guarantee how people will react to your emotional outbursts.

However, anger is not a leadership tool. Using anger as a tool says that you are out of control and that you cannot lead. It stifles your ability to change and brands you as being emotionally volatile.

Habit #8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”

Everybody avoids negative people in the workplace.

Negative people find problems to every one of your solutions.

They are not helpful. They don’t add value but they want to demonstrate that their knowledge is superior to everybody else’s.

Habit #9. Withholding information

Withholding information is part of corporate culture and is used to gain power.

People who withhold information answer questions with a question, tend to be passive aggressive and promote mistrust.

It becomes important to improve your communications skills, to make sharing information a priority, and to inform people what you are up to.

Habit #10. Failing to give proper recognition

People who are unable to praise and reward, who don’t recognize the contribution of others technically withhold information.

People who are not recognized feel unsuccessful, unappreciated, forgotten and ignored.

Habit #11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve

The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.

People who claim credit withhold praise and congratulations, overlook the right people, deprive them from recognition.

People who claim credit are thieves and need to win. Whether you are the perpetrator or the victim of credit hogging:

  • Write down every time you congratulate yourself per day.
  • Review your list and discern who deserves credit.

Habit #12. Making excuses

Making excuses is not a viable leadership strategy and stops self-development.

Excuses are different from explanation. However, most people use excuses to explain their failures.

Habit #13. Clinging to the past

The past explains a lot of our behavior.

Most people live in the past because they can blame others for things that happened to them.

However, clinging to the past is unhealthy. The past cannot be changed, rewritten or excuses. It can only be accepted.

Habit #14. Playing favorites

Some leaders unknowingly play favorites.

They encourage people who serve them, praise them and admire them unconditionally.

Playing favorites is dangerous because you select the wrong people, you favor people who don’t necessarily like you, you fail to recognize the people who deserve it.

Habit #15. Refusing to express regret

People who refuse to express regret are unable to forgive, to apologize, to admit their wrongs, to cede power or control.

Refusing to apologize can create a toxic workplace. However, apologizing is powerful tool.

Habit #16. Not listening

Lack of attention is one of the most common bad habits in the workplace.

Not listening to someone demonstrates that you are impatient, don’t care about what they are saying, that they are wasting your time, that you don’t understand what they are saying.

Habit #17. Failing to express gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a powerful and essential tool to success.

Habit #18. Punishing the messenger

Punishing the messenger tend to attack those who blow the whistle and who bring bad news to us.

Habit #19. Passing the buck

The need to blame everyone but ourselves.

Passing the buck means finding a scapegoat, blaming others for our mistakes.

Leaders who pass the buck are difficult to follow because they don’t take responsibility for their actions.

Habit #20. An excessive need to be “me”

People who feel the need to be themselves hold on to behaviors they think intrinsically define them.

They refuse to change because they see it as being inauthentic.

The truth is they have a limited definition of themselves.

Habit #21. Goal obsession

Goal obsession can drive to success but it can also drive to failure.

Goal obsession or obsessing over the wrong goals become negative when you force yourself to achieve your goals in spite of the bigger picture, of your manners and your character.

How To Overcome These 21 Habits?

To dispel these habits, it is important to learn what type of information is appropriate to share, when and how to convey information, who to ask for information, how to discern useful information.

To overcome these 21 habits:

  1. Ask for feedback. Change does not happen with negative feedback but with honest and helpful feedback.
  2. Get feedback on your own from your surroundings and from how people react to you.
  3. Learn to apologize for your bad behavior to the people who matter most to you. By apologizing, you mend broken relationships and overcome negative emotions.
  4. Demonstrate changed behavior or your intention to change your behavior.
  5. Listen more than you speak and listen with respect.
  6. Express gratitude.
  7. Follow up on your progress by asking your coworkers.
  8. Discuss the behavior you are changing to one person and ask them for suggestions in the future.

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Review

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is a very insightful book. It serves as a workplace guide of the things not to do.

It is written for leaders and for people who want to move up in life and at work.

According to Marshall Goldsmith, everybody has a at least six to eight habits that need to be stopped. From the look of it, we are all guilty of these habits.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is definitely a good place to start when you are looking to improve, when you are looking to understand the people and the different dynamics in the workplace.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

We have to stop couching all our behavior in terms of positive or negative. Not all behavior is good or bad. Some of it is simply neutral. Neither good nor bad.

the higher you go, the more your problems are behavioral.

As we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.

If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.

Gratitude is a skill that we can never display too often. And yet for some reason, we are cheap and chary with gratitude—as if it were rare Bordeaux wine that we can serve only on special occasions. Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is as abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Marshall Goldsmith