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Tag: Resilience
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday
Not everyone knows how to handle obstacles.
Most people tend to quit at the sight of adversity…
Overcoming obstacles and standing tall in adversity are a learned behavior.
To turn your trials into triumphs, you must:
- Change our bad perceptions of events.
- Take directive actions.
- Strengthen your will power.
Change your perception
Your perception has power over you and your decisions.
Building up your perception takes time and a lot of practice.
You must discipline your emotions and objectively perceive your world for what it is and not for how it wants to be seen in order to :
- Temper your passions and primal feelings,
- Become objective and access the truth.
- Stay cool under pressure.
- Stay present and positive.
Your mind is a powerful tool. To actively change your perception:
- Understand that you cannot change the obstacles.
- Understand that you are in control of how you perceive the world and your obstacles.
- Believe that you can choose how to respond to different situations. You can always oppose negativity or shake it off.
- Trust that you are the one who decides of the outcome of the situation.
- Assume that there are no good or bad events in life. By thinking so, you make it so.
- Feel your emotions but get your emotions under control.
- Tell yourself the truth and be authentic.
- Use your personal resources wisely. For example, don’t waste your time trying to understand why a situation is the way it is. Those reasons don’t matter.
- See obstacles as challenges or opportunities to observe, to grow, to improve yourself, to acquire new skills and to try new tactics.
- Do not make assumptions.
- Be present, be bold and take calculated risks.
Take directive action
After you have corrected your perception, it is time to learn how to act it out.
Each and every one of your actions must serve a purpose.
To act towards your goals with your new perception:
- Remember that where you start is not where you will end.
- Start somewhere and fight to create momentum in whatever you undertake.
- Take the time to explore and to learn.
- Avoid complaining and take “directive action”. If you have taken action, persevere and don’t quit no matter what.
- Expect the execution of your plan will be difficult.
- See obstacles as a way to test your character.
- Turn negatives into positives.
- Do not dwell or waste time dwelling on the hand that life has dealt you.
- Take responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t let distractions or failed actions stop you. Instead, fail forward, learn from your failures and don’t take them personally.
- Manage your energy and always do your best with what you have.
Increase your will power
Your will power is something that can never be taken from you.
Maintaining it requires a deep understanding of life.
To increase your will power:
- Anticipate and prepare yourself for adversity so you do not get caught by surprise.
- Forge your strengths and take care of your weaknesses when there is not adversity.
Review
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is a motivational book that encourages people to withstand adversity and to take action despite adversity. Ryan Holiday shares a philosophical approach, rooted in stoicism, that will help you confront obstacles and turn them upside down.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is destined for leaders and entrepreneurs who:
- Face challenges on a daily basis,
- Need to make pragmatic decisions and take calculated risks,
- Want to take their career or business to the next level.
Holiday‘s entire book is based on classical references, historical figures and war leaders, who have distinguished themselves in life and who have adopted stoicism as a life strategy.
Finally, Ryan Holiday also incorporates reputable leaders and entrepreneurs as examples of resilience and will power. If you want to stay motivated and push through your challenges, this book is for you.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Favorite quote(s)
Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness. If we are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, we only add to our troubles.
Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we’ll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate.
Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power.
But every ounce of energy directed at things we can’t actually influence is wasted—self-indulgent and self-destructive. So much power—ours, and other people’s—is frittered away in this manner.
If you mean it when you say you’re at the end of your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity to experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set.
Leadership requires determination and energy. And certain situations, at times, call on leaders to marshal that determined energy simply to endure.
Ratings 4/5
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Quote Of The Week #154
Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds By David Goggins
Western society has an obsession for mediocrity and complacency even though we have great resources to excel and even though our minds are strong and are built to endure whatever challenges we face.
Succeeding and functioning at your highest potential is all a matter of detaching yourself from that system of belief, gaining self-awareness and conquering the mind.
#1: Self-limiting beliefs
Inequalities in the system, systemic oppression will always exist but are not the core reason why you are not excelling and functioning at your highest potential.
The truth is you are the one limiting yourself.
That is why you must imperatively identify what is holding you back in life.
To do so, you can:
- Get a journal and write down your pain, the list of things that are causing you pain.
- Give shape and name to what is bothering you.
- Create rituals where you call yourself out, face the hard truth.
- Set tangible goals for yourself and keep yourself accountable.
By identifying what is limiting you and creating rituals, you will be able to renew your purpose and reinvent yourself.
#2: The path of most resistance
You must understand that in life, there will always be pain. But if you have a purpose, you can overcome that pain and borrow the path of most resistance.
Before starting your mission, you will have to objectively assess your current situation and abolish your ego for it is the cause of all your problems.
On your mission and on the path of most resistance, you might get depressed and discouraged but you have to be convinced that your depression is a sign that you are no longer in your comfort zone.
#3: Taking Souls
In life, you will be confronted with your own demons, bullies who will oppose you for no reason and will face many other challenges.
You have to prepare your mind for eventual opposition and understand that:
- Challenges reveal your character and your mindset.
- Pain is finite and you can take on any challenge you want.
- You must defeat your own demons before you can defeat your opponent.
The Taking Souls strategy is a game that you play with yourself and yourself only by tapping into your own reserve of energy and power. It allows you to easily defeat your opponent and find your inner beast:
- Know who you are and why you are here and why you are fighting.
- Find areas in your life that need improvement.
- Take on tasks that you deem impossible or that make you uncomfortable.
- List your strengths and weaknesses. Turn your weaknesses into your strengths.
- List the strengths and weaknesses of your opponent or bully. Bullies are already insecure and unstable so it’s easy to get into their heads.
- Remember that the easiest way to fight a bully is to help them.
#4: Flipping the script
Every negative experience creates callouses in the mind. When you know how to avoid negative self-talk, to manage your mind and your callouses, then you can choose fight over flight, push through any obstacles and overcome self-doubt.
To build the most stable callous mind there is, to acquire mental toughness and to improve your character, you need to accept your Self, stop running away from your past, face the source of your wounds, fear and insecurities.
For this reason, when you are facing opposition or a negative situation, you have to:
- Flip the script and stop seeing yourself as the victim of your circumstances.
- Work the hardest when you want to the least.
- Seek excellence to outdo your competition.
- Make your competition admire you and your abilities.
#5: Attaining your goals
Now that you are comfortable with the concept of pain and possess the ability to flip your negative experience, it is time for you to start:
- Feeding off your pain to overcome challenges and to live the life you want.
- Painting a picture of what success feels and looks like.
- Visualizing yourself achieving your goals or overcoming the obstacles standing in your way.
- Using your past achievements to fuel your news goals.
- Putting in the work to succeed.
When all is said and done, don’t forget to take the time to celebrate your success.
Review
Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds is David Goggins‘ raw and uncut autobiography.
In Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, David Goggins aims to help you use your setbacks as fuel for your success, live a bolder life to your fullest potential, master the mind and use it to its maximum capacity.
David Goggins, intense and pragmatic, shares his hardships and successes in his civilian and military lives. Through his story, he encourages people to stop playing the victim and making self-limiting choices.
To make this short, his story is rooted in pain, very dramatic and hard to read. You basically need to brace yourself for the first chapters where David Goggins recalls his childhood.
Throughout his autobiography, we can observe:
- The evolution of his relationship with pain and suffering. He went from enduring pain, to insulating himself from it, to embracing it, to enjoying it a little bit too much, to diligently seeking it, to understanding that he is immune to suffering and finally using his pain as a pillar for his success.
- The shift from Victim to Warrior mentality.
- The catharsis from depicting his life and transferring his knowledge in a book.
- His willingness to open old wounds and repair the broken pieces of his life.
- His weight loss, brutal honesty, resilience, confidence and individual growth.
Furthermore, I couldn’t help to wonder about military life and how they recruit their candidates.
On one hand, does the military hire people who don’t know what to do with their lives, who completely lack purpose or are at their wit’s end? Then, the military breaks them down, builds them up into superhumans, gives them a patriotic purpose, and pours into them their way of thinking to get these superhumans to obey them and do whatever they want without asking questions?
On the other hand, according to David Goggins, “Hell Week is designed to show you that a human is capable of much more than you know. It opens your mind to the true possibilities of human potential, and with that comes a change in your mentality.”.
Needless to say, it’s amazing what these soldiers put their mind and body through but still survive. I wonder if they know how much they lose or gain mentally and emotionally doing so? If they are able to function outside of that institution and with that level of trauma?
Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds should definitely be called “How to make the best out of the worst”.
While reading this book, you will experience a lot of sadness, twisted experiences, inspirational and funny perspectives on life. Just life!
As much as I had a hard time reading this book, I couldn’t put it down.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Favorite quote(s)
Nobody likes to hear the hard truth. Individually and as a culture, we avoid what we need to hear most. This world is fucked up, there are major problems in our society. We are still dividing ourselves up along racial and cultural lines, and people don’t have the balls to hear it! The truth is racism and bigotry still fucking exist and some people are so thin-skinned they refuse to admit that.
There is no more time to waste. Hours and days evaporate like creeks in the desert. That’s why it’s okay to be cruel to yourself as long as you realize you’re doing it to become better. We all need thicker skin to improve in life.
I looked at the people who were making me feel uncomfortable and realized how uncomfortable they were in their own skin. To make fun of or try to intimidate someone they didn’t even know based on race alone was a clear indication that something was very wrong with them, not me.
Self-improvement takes dedication and self-discipline.
The first step on the journey toward a calloused mind is stepping outside your comfort zone on a regular basis.
Until you experience hardships like abuse and bullying, failures and disappointments, your mind will remain soft and exposed. Life experience, especially negative experiences, help callous the mind.
Ratings 4.5/5
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Quote Of The Week #145
Mental Toughness: Essential Principles of Leadership and Success By Mak Hill
No matter your decisions in life, obstacles will always present themselves. You will have to be able to build up your resilience and your ability to solve challenges.
For that reason, mental toughness is required in all areas of life.
Mental toughness is the inner drive to push through and pursue your goals.
Furthermore, it is an integral part of your character and prevents you from being a quitter. It gets you places that your personal skills, strengths and talents cannot.
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Mental Toughness Leads to Success
Mental toughness is a “muscle that needs occasional flexing”. Mental toughness constantly requires nurturing your self-esteem and improving your attitude. In addition, it involves letting go of fears, taking on challenges, staying focused and failing up. Mental toughness keeps you motivated, overcomes self-doubt, helps you face your fears, regulate your emotions, listen to your inner voice, accept, learn and bounce back from your mistakes.The Habits Of Mentally Tough Leaders
Leaders have to handle difficult situations on a daily basis in the workplace and still have to make space for their personal lives. Furthermore, they have to build a vision from the ground up, communicate and maintain their vision. At the end of the day, to be successful and efficient, leaders need to be mentally tough. Generally, mentally tough leaders have been through challenging situations and came out stronger.1. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Self-Confident
They experience life outside of their comfort zone, take risks and overcome failure.2. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Able to Manage Their Emotions
They are able to control their emotions. Furthermore, they are selective of the people around them. They share their emotions only with the people they can trust.3. Mentally Tough Leaders Face their Fears and Take Action
They overcome their fears and risk failure to achieve success.4. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Selective Of Whom They Associate With
They patiently select their support system. Their support system is positive, will celebrate their success, and share their vision and mindset.5. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Self-Disciplined
They maintain a routine, a healthy diet and exercise regularly to secure their health and wellness.6. Mentally Tough Leaders Know how and when to say No
They don’t people please and say no without feeling guilt or regret.7. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Independent
They do not compare their progress with that of others. They are their own competition. They mind their own business, don’t care about people’s opinion of them and are accountable for their decisions.8. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Ready and Equipped for Anything
They don’t operate out of fear or under pressures of office politics. They do the right thing and keep their conscience clear at the risk of losing their job.9. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Obsessed with Productivity and Positive Outcomes
They are focused on becoming more productive and successful.10. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Strong
They are ready to fight for what they want until the end.11. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Responsive
They aim to make a sound decision whether it is under pressure or not.12. Mentally Tough Leaders Are Willing to Learn
They need to keep learning, evolving, and adapting to changes.13. Mentally Tough Leaders Possess Control
They have control over themselves, their thoughts and circumstances.14. Mentally Tough Leaders Focus On the Right Priorities
They value quality of work over quantity.15. Mentally Tough Leaders Realize the Likelihood of Developing Decision Fatigue
They know that they can burnout so they maintain a healthy lifestyle and keep making the best decisions for their teams. every task takes away energy and a fatigued mind is ineffective.16. Mentally Tough Leaders Build Themselves Up
They maintain a flexible schedule for activities meant to build up their mental toughness. They take care of themselves with specific and routine activities.17. Mentally Tough Leaders Stay Positive
They are positive in their way of thinking and associate themselves only with positive things. They think positively about themselves and their team. They believe that they are what they think.18. Mentally Tough Leaders Put Quality first
They delegate and encourage their team to produce quality work.How do you become mentally strong?
To become mentally strong, there are several skills you need to acquire. Suitable skills are developed after many trials and failures. After years of training yourself, you can develop:- A Hyper Focus Mindset. You don’t allow distractions to clutter your mind and take you out of your zone.
- A Winning Mindset. You must believe in your expertise and believe that you will succeed no matter what.
- Willpower. You must be able to stay on to of your goals until you have achieved them, despite the obstacles or your fears. Your willpower has to be maintained through relaxation methods and healthy activities.
- Composure. You are able to stay calm under pressure.
- An Ability to Handle Failure. You must acknowledge that a mentally strong person can fail too. If you have failed, you must extract a lesson from it.
- Accountability. You must own up to your mistakes, overcome negative emotions, learn from failure and move on.
- Preparedness. You must plan and prepare for the unexpected.
- A Readiness to Take On the Challenge. You must face and embrace whatever challenge comes your way.
- An Ability to Optimize Stress. You are able to take advantage of a stressful environment and still reach your objectives.
- A Capability to Stretch Out the Limits. You stretch your limits and are able to achieve your objectives in spite of physical discomfort or mental stress.
The Qualities Needed to Develop Mental Toughness
Mentally tough people possess numerous qualities too that shine through when push comes to shove. These qualities are ingrained in their personalities and in their character. In general, mentally tough people:- Are Self-Motivated. Your drive to succeed comes from within and you are capable to endure for what you love to do.
- Maintain Positivity. You are able to get in the zone, to stay focused on positive thoughts amid the chaos or in high pressure situations.
- Visualize The Life They Want. You visualize the outcome of a task from beginning to end before performing it which makes it easier to implement.
- Meditate. Meditation reduces stress, clears your mind and allows you to relax.
- Talk Positively To Themselves. You can coach and motivate yourself with your own words.
- Constantly Seek Discomfort. You get out your comfort zone frequently and are able to handle whatever life throws at you.
- Are Prepared For The Unexpected. You will have to be prepared and have experienced everything in life in the worst possible conditions so you don’t break or have to be taken by surprise.
Review
Mental Toughness: Essential Principles of Leadership and Success by Mak Hill is an easy to read and straight to the point motivational book. Truthfully, I had this book on my shelf and was eyeing it for a very long time. Though the principles in this book are known, this book has put a lot of things in perspective for me and has reminded me that perseverance is key to success. I truly recommend this if you are seeking more for yourself, want to quiet their mind and take back control, are going through challenges or have taken heavy hits lately. As cliché as it may sound, it teaches you that:- You have to believe in yourself and stand up for what you want.
- When life gives you lemon, you have to make lemonade.
- Quitting should not be made a habit.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Favorite quote(s)
Mental toughness for an individual is his ability to deal with pressures, stressors, and challenges, and to give the best possible results, in spite of the circumstances that individual finds himself in. Others define it as the ability to rise after failures and setbacks, and the resolve to spot and take hold of the opportunities that come up. Experts swear by the fact that grit, or mental toughness, plays a critical role in your achievement of anything in life. This is excellent news to many of us who desire success in some activity but do not carry the genes. We can still be top achievers, if only we become mentally tough. In itself, success is not an event that finds you; it is a state of mind. The courage and strength to win develop internally, in the brain. If you want to reach your goals and become a success, you must learn how to get that mental strength by yourself. Keep in mind that calm, smooth seas do not make adept sailors; it is the violent and turbulent ones that do. The challenge you encounter in the course of your life will not matter, what matters is the reaction you will have towards it. Developing the right attitude towards failure will require you to know that failure does not condemn your abilities; it is merely a reaction or feedback to the effort put.
Ratings 4/5
About the author
Mak Hill Subscribe to Journey To LeadershipCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2021 Mak Hill
Mak HILL is a successful entrepreneur and corporate business man. Mak Hill is also the author of Mental Toughness: Essential Principles of Leadership and Success.
8 Powerful Strategies Leaders Use To Bounce Back From Failure
Failure is a painful experience and a hard pill to swallow for most.
The pain of failure is difficult to recover from and the memory of it just keeps replaying itself in your mind.
That being said, leaders cannot allow themselves to focus on the past, stay in bed and self-loathe.
Leaders have to find ways to go through life without fearing failure, to learn from their negative experience, to recover from them and to not let failure define them because failure can also be informative and transformative.
Wondering what strategies you can apply to recover from failure?
1. Tell yourself the truth
It is challenging to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the cold truth.
It is challenging to recognize that you have indeed failed.
It is challenging to admit your shortcomings and implications in your personal failure. Sometimes, it’s not your fault. Sometimes, you have just been passive. Other times, you have brought it down on yourself.
You have to take a good look at the facts, events and at your pain.
You have to stand in your truth. Otherwise, someone else will use it against you, or worse you will never grow.
2. Know your Why
In Start With Why — How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action, Simon Sinek defines your why as your origin story. “By looking to our past and teasing out the most significant threads—the experiences we’ve had, the people we’ve been influenced by, the lives we’ve touched and the highs and lows we’ve faced—we can identify patterns.”
Your Why is a collection of your standout memories and defining moments. If you don’t know your Why, you must find it. it will give meaning to every single one of your failures and help you cope with them.
Knowing your Why will help you define your personal mission statement that you can review on a daily basis.
With your Why in mind, you will be able to surmount just about anything in life.
3. Don’t take failure personally
Failure happens to just about everybody and as hard as you try, there is not much you can do to avoid it.
So, there is no need to take it personally.
Don’t get distracted by your failure, focus on something greater than yourself and acknowledge that you cannot change the past.
Instead, prepare yourself for upcoming success. If you have missed an opportunity, prepare yourself for another one instead of dwelling on your mistakes.
4. Be kind to yourself
It is easy to self loathe, dwell in your pain and replay your failures.
By doing so, you are not only attracting similar events to you but you are not allowing yourself to grow or to move on.
You will unfortunately stay stuck in the same pattern of behavior and thought.
The best and healthiest way you can internally deal with failure is to forgive yourself, stop beating yourself up and to use past events as fuel. You can use your failure to become stronger, more disciplined and kinder to yourself.
5. Take time to take care of yourself
Sometimes, we need to take a step back and put some distance between yourself and your failure.
You can take time off to exercise, eat right, see family and friends, do something you love, go on a trip or do something that you have always wanted to do.
Nobody can make you feel better about yourself but yourself. It is up to you to seek the comfort or the happiness that you need.
6. Embrace gratitude
Another way to get over your pain and some of your problems is to be grateful for what you have and the problems that you don’t have.
Gratitude is a great way to focus on the positives, celebrate past successes and build a success mindset.
Failure is only temporary and there are different ways that you can bounce back.
7. Face your fears head on
You don’t want to stay stuck in your failure and avoid the pain at all cost.
Facing your fears head on is a great way to move on from your failures and empower yourself.
8. Help someone other than yourself
Failure can be distracting and make you self-absorbed.
Get out of your head and see if someone around you needs assistance.
Last Words Of Advice!
It is Ok to fail.
It is not OK to repeat the same mistakes and expect a different result.
Just remember that every failure brings you closer to success.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
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11 Ways To Make The Best Decision For Yourself
Have you ever been anxious about making the right decision?
Are you confused by all the possibilities? Overwhelmed by all the consequences of your decision? Are you prepared for the consequences? Are you feeling pressured by a timeline? Do you have all the information at hand to come to a conclusion?
Indecision can be crippling and problematic. Having to take a difficult decision can overload your mind, take over your emotions and perturb your whole week.
Most of the time, we procrastinate over these decisions or wish that someone would make them for us. Either way, we have to assume responsibility for our decisions.
Wondering how to make the best decision for yourself?
1. Trust your voice
You have to understand that your opinion really matters, that you will make mistakes and that you will have to stand next to your decision no matter what.
The more you make decisions and make mistakes, the faster you will get it right and trust yourself.
2. Listen to your gut
For those who are in tune with themselves, the concept of following your gut and listening to your intuition is easy to understand and even easier to apply.
You already know the decision you are leaning towards. If you don’t, apply your decisions without committing to them, then see how it feels. You can also think how you would feel if you say yes or no to a decision.
3. Stop beating yourself up
Make the decision beforehand to accept whatever you choose and don’t beat yourself up about it.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, forgive yourself and learn to let go…
If you have lost an opportunity, another one will show up and it will be the chance for you to redeem yourself or to make a more appropriate decision.
4. Detach yourself from the situation
You have a hard time making a decision because you are probably in too deep, your emotions and thoughts are clouded, you are obsessing and ruminating.
To gain a bird’s eye view over your problems, you definitely need to take a step back.
Detaching yourself will help you get into the right mindset and will allow you to analyze each element of the situation with a cold head. When you are detached, you will be able to better handle the impacts of your decision no matter what you choose.
5. Make time for that decision
You will have to give this decision all your attention and make it in a given timeframe.
In this timeframe, you will have to play out all the possible scenarios. Outside of that timeframe, you must consider that your decision is final, that you cannot go back and you can no longer obsess about it.
6. Be clear about your needs and desires
Sometimes, you have to choose the decisions that best suit your needs and desires. You cannot make decisions based on what you want and the expectations of society or of your social circle.
For example, you may want a big time high paying job but you may need trust, transparency, and a sense of safety.
7. Be clear about your core values
A few decisions that you will be making in life will make you uncomfortable, cross your boundaries and go against your core values.
If you have solid core values, these decisions become a no brainer and don’t take long to make.
8. Be clear about your goals and purpose
Having a clear purpose eases your decision-making process.
Decisions fail when people don’t know their purpose in the first place.
If the outcome of your decisions aligns with your goals and purpose, stop reading this and go for it!
9. Don’t settle for one solution
There might be more than one answer or solution to your problem.
Indeed, your decision might not be black or white. If you are detached enough, you will be able to visualize the bigger picture.
You don’t need to win right away but you could push back or find compromises.
10. Visualize or redact your thoughts
Bringing in outside opinions will only complicate the decision making process.
However, it will help to speak or write down your thoughts. You will surely come up with the best decision when you do so.
11. Ask an expert
Asking someone for their opinion is not recommended because their advice will not necessarily work for you.
However, if you do, you really have to use discernment and choose someone who has done what you have done before and who has a lot of expertise on the topic.
Last Words Of Advice!
There is no perfect decision and you will never be 100% sure about your decisions. So, relax and reframe your mind!
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
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