How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

For some reason, successful leaders seem to know how to effectively handle people, to win friends and to influence people…

These leaders have built their entire life and professional career around people by following basic principles.

How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie #book #bookreview #bookreviews #reviews #influence #relationships #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #businessworld journeytoleadershipblog.com

Wining Friends

Leaders understand that relationships can take you to the next level. Therefore, they tend to:

1. Avoid negative reviews

Leaders who are socially skilled avoid making complaints, condemning people, or manufacturing open and public criticism.

They understand that negative criticism generally breeds resentment.

Instead, they try to understand where the people are coming from.

2. Find out what the people really want

Most people care about their health, self-preservation, food, sleep, money, a craving for sincere appreciation and a desire for importance…

Furthermore, appreciation does not consist in giving cheap flattery but in honest appreciation.

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. - Dale Carnegie Click To Tweet

3. Show people how to get what they want

To show people what they want and how to get it, leaders:

  • Consider the advantages and disadvantages of the situation.
  • Learn to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Influencing People

Influencing people is a basic and important skill in leadership.

That is why leaders who seek to increase their leadership:

1. Genuinely become interested in other people

They understand human nature, truly enjoy the interaction with people and do things for other people without any ulterior motives.

In addition, they remember people’s name, learn to smile and to be cheerful in their presence.

Indeed, smiling is contagious and can change an entire situation.

2. Become versed in the art of conversation

Being a great conversationalist starts by listening to people and encouraging people to talk about themselves.

Therefore, leaders find out the other person’s interest and start from there.

3. Obey the Golden Rule

Leaders observe the rules of human relationships.

As a consequence, they obey the Golden Rule and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.

4. Use diplomacy

To win people over to your way of thinking, they:

  • Are diplomatic.
  • Avoid arguments at all cost.
  • Never tell a person that they are wrong.
  • Consider the other person’s feelings, ideas and point of view.
  • Show respect for another person’s point of view.
  • Admit their wrongs and appeal to nobler motives.
  • Admit their mistakes and talk about them.
  • Don’t give direct orders but suggestions.
  • Give people the opportunity to make decisions for themselves and to correct themselves.
  • Don’t hurt people’s self-esteem and don’t diminish them in their own eyes

Review

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie aims to educate adults into building healthy relationships and climbing up the social ladder.

Dale Carnegie shares contemporaneous and pragmatic principles that serve as guidelines for leaders who wish to network and grow their social capital.

Most of these principles are essential to life as much as the business world and will increase your skill in human relationship.

However, Dale Carnegie promotes the praising or “sucking up” game and uses the term “friend” very loosely.

That is because most of the principles are geared towards the business world and most of his examples are taken from people who have successfully implemented these principles.

Unfortunately, praises don’t work on everybody and is not a solution to all problems.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Dale Carnegie

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How To Create A Positive Work Environment?

Employees are the heartbeat of the company.

They are the ones that keep your company running and they must feel good coming to work.

Therefore, leaders have to build a positive work environment to ensure the mental, emotional and physical well-being of their employees.

Wondering how to build a positive work environment?

How To Create A Positive Work Environment? #positivity #workplace #work #career #job #leader #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #empowerment #selfimprovement

What is a healthy & positive work environment?

Workplace culture defines the work environment.

Workplace culture determines the standards, ethics, code of conduct, mission statement and the level of toxicity in the workplace.

In addition, it is unique. It is created by the leaders and is maintained by everyone else.

That is why leaders have to be positive, ethical and mindful of their behavior and of the information that they put out.

A healthy and positive work environment is where people:

  • Needs are met and perform at their best.
  • Feel good about themselves and safe enough to express themselves.
  • Are clean and hygienic, mentally and physically cared for.
  • Are subjected to little to no stress.
  • Are understood and their voices are heard.
  • Are able to collaborate with others.
  • Are respected for their contributions and not systemically punished for their mistakes.

The benefits of a healthy & positive workplace?

Creating a healthy work environment increases productivity, motivation and benefits.

Creating a healthy workplace significantly reduces absenteeism and employee turnover.

A healthy and positive workplace helps you boost morale, attract and retain the best talents.

How to create a healthy & positive workplace?

How To Create A Positive Work Environment? #positivity #workplace #work #career #job #leader #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #empowerment #selfimprovement

1. Keep work fun

Having fun at work increases productivity because it makes work easier. To keep work fun, leaders must:

  • Understand that shame and fear are not sustainable motivators.
  • Simplify policies and procedures. 
  • Eliminate drama and remove office politics.
  • Create activities outside of work.
  • Allow flexible working hours.
  • Provide an environment where people can work out, eat healthy and relax.
  • Don’t give people more work load than they can carry.

2. Be a positive leader

If your team sees you having fun at work, they will most likely start to have fun as well. If you are a positive leader, they will most likely start being positive.

Positive leaders are optimistic, promote trust and transparency, encourage change, creativity and innovation.

They build quality relationships with the people they work with, regardless of their personalities.

Furthermore, positive leaders are sensitive to all cultures and ethnical backgrounds. They understand that diversity makes their strength.

In the long run, positive leaders acquire a positive reputation. Gaining a positive reputation increases the value of a company, improves employee loyalty and job satisfaction.

3. Empower your team

Empowering your team is all about giving them the resources they need to succeed. To empower your team:

  • Identify what motivates them and place them in the area of their strengths.
  • Make sure your team has a healthy work life balance.
  • Encourage team building activities.
  • Provide additional training for those who lack confidence and competencies.
  • Allow your team to take breaks throughout the day to recharge their batteries, to relax and to think.
  • Give people their dues. Acknowledge when someone is doing good by privately or publicly complementing them. Also, be honest when an employee is underperforming.
  • Treat your employees with fairness and respect. Don’t play favorites or openly disregard someone just so you could feel better about yourself.
  • Support your team throughout difficult situations. When an issue arises, be compassionate and be a problem solver. For example, if someone on your team perpetually misses a deadline, find out why they are underperforming.

4. Encourage positive behaviors

In the workplace, negativity often upstages positivity. Leaders must take on the responsibility to bring positive behaviors in the forefront. To do so:

  • Reward those with an exemplary behavior.
  • Incorporate a code of conduct and policies that promote positive behaviors.
  • Call out bad behaviors or behaviors that don’t meet your standards.
  • Celebrate success as soon as it happens. This suggestion seems obvious. Who wouldn’t want to celebrate success? I once worked for a company whose higher ups would bully anyone who seemed confident, content with themselves.
  • Don’t condone workplace bullying.
  • Don’t shut down people who are expressing joy or who are celebrating success.

5. Hone your communication skills

Leaders who want to build a positive and healthy workplace must effectively and regularly communicate with their team so they can clearly reach their goals and achieve their vision.

Leaders with a positive work environment share their visions with their team, make sure that every employee connect and align with the vision.

Then, they encourage positive discussions, debates and brainstorming. They all people to say what is on their mind or to challenge the status quo without fear of retribution.

6. Help your employees grow into leaders

When it comes to healthy workplaces, there is no such thing as competing with your employees. If you help your employees grow, you will grow too.

7. Hire the right people for the right job

During the hiring process, it is critical to respect people, identify and hire the people who will fit into the company culture and who will add value to the company culture.

Last Words Of Advice!

If your team doesn’t see you taking continuous action and investing in their well-being, they will not implement your vision or strategies.

Commit to making your workplace a healthy environment!

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott

Being a boss is a full-time job and is not as easy as it seems.

The truth is, being the boss can be an emotional rollercoaster.

It requires maturity, focus and emotional discipline, especially when dealing with people.

That is why Kim Scott has established a few principles that can help bosses create a culture of candor, build stable relationships and evolve into great bosses.

According to Kim Scott, managers, leaders or bosses:

  1. Achieve results.
  2. Deal with people.
  3. Express what they think.
  4. Build and guide cohesive teams.
  5. Accept and give fair and candid feedback.

As you can see, Kim Scott makes no distinction between a boss, a leader and a manager because eventually, they have to assume different roles and master different skills at different moments.

They all have to find out a way to get what they want by saying what they mean.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

Radical Candor_ Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott (2)

Why and how to build relationships?

The relationships you have with your team determine your level of success, company culture, and performance.

To build great relationships that will help your business:

  • Take care of yourself first.
  • Stay centered and create a healthy work life balance.
  • Find out what works best for you and apply it.
  • Care personally about people.
  • Respect boundaries and people physical space. It is detrimental to find a balance between creating personal yet professional bonds.
  • Spend time alone with your team members.
  • Stay true to your values and share them if possible.
  • Be transparent and aware of your emotions.
  • Discipline your reactions. Learn to respond and not react.

Why and how to build a great team?

People’s motivations are personal.

Every team member can be exceptional, they just have to find the right fit and the right motivations.

Needless to say, work life is better when your team loves what they do.

To build a great team:

  • Get to know the people on your team. Focus more on them than on results.
  • Understand people’s strength and weaknesses, identify how they tick and how their job fits into their life plan.
  • Avoid micromanaging or ignoring your team members.
  • Allocate as much time to those who are struggling as the top performers.
  • Listen to your team members, learn to incorporate their thinking into yours, and give them the opportunity to complain, share ideas, and raise issues. This way, you will create a culture of innovation.

Why and how to accept/give feedback?

Feedback is an uncomfortable process. To accept and give proper feedback:

  • Earn your team’s trust.
  • Listen more than you speak.
  • Understand what motivates your team and help them avoid burnout or boredom.
  • Understand your audience and adapt to it.
  • See feedback as an act of guidance and don’t make it personal.
  • Solicit feedback especially in private conversations and outside of meetings.
  • Voice your own disagreements. Speak up when things are not going well.
  • Take responsibility fo your actions and admit when you have made a mistake
  • Discern the truth from a lie when it comes to feedback.
  • Be humble in your delivery and state that you want to help.

Why and how to achieve results?

Every boss wants results. To achieve results:

  • Have frequent one on one conversation with your team and with a positive mindset. Have a one on one conversation with your team members to get to know them, to solve problems effectively and to help you understand what is working and what is not.
  • Create key metrics to measure progress. Write down any possible updates.
  • Create meetings where you can debate, encourage new ideas and make big decisions.
  • Test out the feasibility of the ideas you have received.

Review

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott is a step by step guide on how to be a candid boss.

It is about building candid relationships with the people you work with and about using your humanity as a leadership tool.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott essentially takes the pressure off leaders.

The principles shared expose candor as a management tool, put bosses at ease and help them understand that there is more to being a boss than giving orders.

In addition, the principles shared remove fear, self-doubt and anxiety, then create an understanding regarding the role of a boss.

Furthermore, Kim Scott uses her own experiences at Google and Adsense to drive the conversation and to illustrate her ideas about radical candor.

She provides amazing tools and techniques to implement in order to be a great boss and to have a healthy relationship with your direct reports.

Her tools and techniques are detailed and are not exclusive to bosses.

Finally, the best thing about this book is that you can tell that Kim Scott cares about the career advancement and the emotional health of every boss.

Through radical candor, she demonstrates how to improve all aspects of your work life.

You don’t have to implement every tool or technique right away.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

In order to build a great team, you need to understand how each person’s job fits into their life goals

The way you treat people determines whether you’ll get their best effort, a perfunctory effort, or an effort to sabotage you.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Kim Scott

10 Things Every New Leader Should Do

When you are a leader, people will be watching your every moves like a hawk.

So, there are a couple of things to do and not to do in order to be unimpeachable and to represent your true self well.

Sometimes, the novelty of the job, the number of people you meet, the quantity of information transiting in your direction, the new type of pressure tend to make you forget your role as a leader.

The truth is that you do during your first few days as a leader will mark memories in the long run.

10 Things Every New Leader Should Do

10 Things Every New Leader Should Do

#1. Create work-life balance

Congratulations on your new position!

  1. Take a moment to drain it all in and celebrate success. When you access a new position, you are either frightened or excited.
  2. Take some time to assess your new role and the advancement in your career, on your success.
  3. Get your personal life together. Have hobbies and a strong support system in place.
  4. Prepare your transition to your new position.

#2. Mind your character

When you meet someone for the first time, they will have a tendency to test you, your principles, character, core values and boundaries.

For example, from your boss to the cleaning lady, they will all check if you get angry easily or his much patience you have.

It is important to always be developing yourself as a leader.

#3. Check your attitude

A positive attitude is everything and will determine your heights to success. During the first few months, it is detrimental to:

  1. Stay visible.
  2. Adopt a winning strategy.
  3. Be aware of your actions. You are now a role model.
  4. Keep a positive attitude and body language, even when you don’t feel like it.

#4. Be approachable

Sometimes, it’s important to seem approachable:

  1. Introduce yourself to people even if you don’t know them or are not introduced. Don’t wait too long before introducing yourself or else it will quickly get awkward.
  2. Remember names when you are being introduced.
  3. Try to get along with people for the first few days.
  4. Help others find their motivation.

#5. Groom yourself and dress like a leader

No matter what people say, first impressions matter unfortunately. Dressing like a leader will help you feel confident and will in consequence increase your ability to lead.

Even though you know that clothes don’t define your character, most people make snap judgments.

Also, observe the company’s dress code and dress accordingly.

#6. Keep learning

Learning is a humbling process. Even though new leaders think that they can handle their position with their old skills and their old knowledge, most of them don’t have the necessary skills to be a leader.

  1. Make sure that you study and learn the corporate culture.
  2. Evaluate what you have learned from your previous jobs and from the previous one in your position.
  3. Ask questions even if they make you look or feel incompetent.
  4. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to perform.
  5. Don’t stop learning. Not because you have reached a leadership position that you have to stop learning and stop asking questions.

#7. Build relationships

Building the right relationships is a cultural key to success.

To quickly build relationships and to grow your network, put your interpersonal skills to the test and make a positive first impression.

#8. Watch out for office politics

Office politics in the first few days is risky.

  1. Be mindful of office politics and the cliques that already exist.
  2. Choose your clicks wisely you want to belong to. Do not try to belong to a group in particular or try to be friends with their former colleagues.
  3. Keep your opinion about your colleagues and your work to yourself. There is nothing more disgraceful than a gossiping leader that nobody can trust.
  4. Find out how your new team operated in the past.

#9. Assess your strengths and weaknesses 

You do not want to reach these heights and find out that the positions is not made for you, that you are not capable of achieving success, job fulfillment, job satisfaction.

  1. Understand that different skills will be demanded in your new role. What got you here won’t get you there.
  2. Make sure that you really want this position and that it’s right for you.
  3. Get a hold on your purpose. You will know if you are walking in your purpose by the amount of joy you experience while executing your purpose.

#10. Earn your respect

In your first few months:

  1. Do not try to be liked but to be respected. This is an advice for mostly women who have to annoyingly smile and forcefully be polite.
  2. Don’t be too quick to use your new authority or power.
  3. Start taking responsibility for your actions.
  4. Share your core values and set high expectations for performance, results, conduct, alignment and engagement.
  5. Give respect. Find out where your role starts and ends. There is no need to step on anybody’s toes.

Last Words Of Advice!

The first months are the right time to set right habits.

  1. Don’t stop growing and expect discomfort.
  2. Remember that you are the one who makes the decision.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

11 Best Strategies For Leaders To Fight Workplace Stress

Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you are successful, how much you wish to be happy or to have peace of mind, life has a way of placing you in the same stressful situations?

That is because, until you have learnt to deal with these stressful situations, they will keep showing up.

For example, if you try to avoid someone who stresses you out, you will constantly run into that same person until you deal with your feelings about that person.

It is therefore important to learn how to cope with these situations and find the right methods to address your stress.

Wondering how to cope and effectively fight workplace stress?

11 Best Strategies For Leaders To Fight Workplace Stress

Why are leaders stressed in the workplace?

Stress is inherently part of life and stressed leaders have seemed to become the norm. Leaders are mostly stressed at work due to:

  • interpersonal conflicts,
  • poor time management,
  • poor work performance,
  • a lack of financial freedom,
  • drastic and sudden changes,
  • excess meetings, policies and procedures.

Stress has a direct impact on the corporate culture, on the leader’s leadership style, performance, and health.

People express stress differently: some people get angry, some get exhausted and withdrawn, and others go into fight or flight mode.

11 Best Strategies For Leaders To Fight Workplace Stress

There are several ways to remain calm under pressure, manage your stress and use it to your advantage.

#1. Be more self-aware & develop your emotional discipline

It becomes critical to always take a step back from a situation, seek deeper insights in your thoughts and behaviors to identify stress triggers, weigh out the outcomes of the situation. How important is this situation for you?

To be more self-aware and develop emotional disciplined:

  • Confront your painful situation and identify your triggers.
  • Identify your strength, weaknesses and limitations.
  • Be aware of the first physical symptoms of stress. Observe how your body responds to stress. During stressful times, some people are tense, can’t sleep, can’t eat.
  • Control your emotional reaction to the situation.
  • Write down the things that bother you.
  • Put a name to your emotions.

#2. Change your mindset

Your mind has everything to do with your behavior. To change your mindset:

  • See stress as a motivation.
  • Influence your brain to accurately interpret a high pressured situation. We have a tendency to distort situations through our lenses and either make them grander than they are.
  • Assume strictly positive outcomes of the stressful situation and speak positivity into reality.
  • Be open to new opportunities and new experiences.
  • Stay calm and positive. Positive attitudes can become difficult to maintain in challenging situations in the workplace. But once acquired, it is a habit that can help you overcome bad situations.

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye Click To Tweet

#3. Be grateful

No matter how hard it gets, you are still breathing. This means that you have one more day to change your situation and to create a better life.

To dispel stress:

  • Be grateful for your day to day.
  • Make a gratitude list to remind yourself of what you are thankful for.
  • Appreciate where you are in life, even where it’s not where you want to be.

#4. Prioritize & stick to the essentials

When deadlines are set and cannot be moved, when we are late we tend to stress out.

Prioritizing is all about honing your decisions making and time management skills in order to achieve more. To do so:

  • Understand that it’s OK to miss out on things.
  • Learn how to say no and to set boundaries.
  • Learn to prioritize. When you have your priorities in check, you are able to know what is essential, what you are able to handle in your work day and who you are able to see.
  • Apply the 80/20 principle.
  • Don’t try to be perfect.

#5. Create a better work-life balance

Your professional and your personal lives are tightly intertwined. Creating work-life balance is not giving equal attention to both work and life.

However, it means that you are satisfied with your contributions to your life and work, that you are able to create a sustainable synergy between both so that you are fueled by them on a daily basis.

To create a better work-life balance:

  • Don’t stay too long at work.
  • Don’t take your stress at home.
  • Take long drives before getting home.
  • Spend more time with family and friends.
  • Figure out if you can work from home.
  • Create a morning routine to kick off your day on the right foot.
  • Take care of yourself first and boost your leadership self-esteem.
  • Align your daily activities in life and work with your values, principles.

#6. Learn how to delegate 

Most leaders want to control people, do everything themselves, be on top of everything all at once and find it hard to delegate.

However, to remove stress due to work overload, it is important to learn how to delegate and automate some of your activities.

Delegating will allow you to take all the load off your shoulders. To delegate:

  • Demonstrate confidence in yourself and in your team.
  • Select experts in their field, clarify their roles, give them the authority to do their jobs, allow them to fail and to grow.
  • Create clear progress measurement tools and milestones.
  • Avoid micromanaging people but measure their advancement.

#7. Learn to communicate

Great communication skills will improve your leadership credibility, your self-confidence, your relationships with others, your feelings of belonging and will decrease your stress level.

They will also drive change and increase team motivation.

To decrease your stress level:

  • Learn to effectively communicate your grievances.
  • Remember that everyone is different and won’t communicate the way you do.

#8. Emotionally detach yourself from your job.

Obsessing about work is problematic and unhealthy. Most of the time, being emotionally attached leads to being sensitive to feedback and to being unable to see the bigger picture.

Unfortunately, most people who succeed are those who put in work and yet are detached from their work.

#9. Filter out your entourage

Leaders and employees have to make quick decisions while getting along with everyone, in multicultural contexts, with people from various backgrounds.

So, if your relationships brings you more stress than necessary:

  • Surround yourself with people you can trust. Build real connections and learn to discern the authentic relationships by observing their actions.
  • Confide in your mentor and ask for advice.
  • If you can, get rid of toxic coworkers or relationships.
  • Isolate yourself if needed. Sometimes, it is good  to remove yourself from society, to contemplate solitude in order to enjoy yourself, your thoughts.
  • If you are unable to avoid negative interactions, isolate the information that you need from the interaction. Write down that information and do not rely on memory or distorted thoughts.
  • Do not compete with people and stay focused on your job.

#10. Exercise and take regular breaks

Exercise and regular breaks will allow you to break your routine and mindless actions.

  • Plan your breaks.
  • Take time off to disconnect and enjoy your holidays.
  • Listen more than you speak to give your brain a break.
  • Make sure that your habits and exercise routine fit your lifestyle.
  • Do activities that you enjoy in the middle of the work day and on weekends.
  • Unplug from the internet and from your phone on your breaks and on the weekends.

#11. Let go & let God

At some point in life, you must:

  • Understand that you cannot control everything.
  • Control the controllable factors (like your reactions to the situation) and release what you cannot control. Worrying about people or events beyond your control is a waste of energy.
  • Know that your situation is temporary and that you will come through the other side. Meanwhile, be kind to somebody and help someone.

Last Words Of Advice!

Remember that, as a leader, people are closely monitoring your behavior.

They will be looking to you for inspiration and for a sense of calm in challenging situations.

Finally, make sure that your passion for your job outweigh your level of stress on the job. If it doesn’t, then it’s time to quit.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

13 Signs You Are Meant To Be A Leader

Sometimes, our circumstances don’t match our inner thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. Sometimes, we haven’t figured out who we are yet and we are leaning into other people’s expectations of us.

Sometimes, we believe that our personality will be rejected when it is our character that counts. Other times, we notice that one type of leadership is thriving and don’t believe that we can level up.

So, this is written as a reminder to those who doubt themselves and who are actually meant to be leaders.

Wondering whether or not you are meant to be a leader?

13 Signs You Are Meant To Be A Leader

Western society promotes bad leadership in corporate organizations. It seems that “evil leaders” win and appear smarter and more successful than “good leaders”. Though these organizations function well and get results, they become more and more toxic to work in.

These organizations have to subsequently provide trainings and team building exercises to counter the effect of negative leadership.

What we need are effective leaders with great character. Most people want the title, the power but don’t have the character, the values or the attitude.

You are definitively meant to be a leader if…

#1. People naturally gravitate to you and ask you for your advice

Have you been standing in the streets, people come up to you for direction? In the grocery isles, people ask you for products? At work, people ask you for help on their project that you know nothing about?

People ask you for advice everywhere you go. That is because you seem approachable, like you have the answers to their problems and like you will not retain any information.

#2. You have a clear vision and a direction for your future

You have a vision for your future and you have the conviction that your dreams will come through. You dream so big that your dreams seem almost impossible.

Sometimes, you may not know what you are doing but you sure know where you are going.

Also, you may not be able to immediately put your vision into action but you are sure that it’ll come through, you know how to apply yourself, you know how to trust your gut and to put your best foot forward, and you know how to find the people to help you achieve your goals.

#3. Your character is remarkable

You have outstanding character and people model their behaviors on yours.

This means that you are self-disciplined, you stand up for what is right, you walk with integrity, you are slow to anger and demonstrate patience.

Furthermore, you have a strong moral compass. Even under pressure, you have to do what is right so you can respect yourself, love yourself and sleep at night.

#4. You love to learn

You are eager to learn, to explore and innovate. As a matter of fact, you ask tones of questions and you are an ever evolving being.

You have learnt from your employees, from bad leadership and from good mentors.

In addition, you don’t retain information, you are able to speak frankly and openly.

#5. You see people strengths and weaknesses

You see people strengths and weaknesses and you place them in the areas of their strengths.

Indeed, when you are a leader, you see people for who they really are and for what they can bring, you don’t make assumptions.

On the same occasion, you know where your strengths lie, where they will be complementary and where your weaknesses would hold people back.

Finally, you surround yourself with people who make you better and who complete you.

#6. You follow your own rules

You beat to the sound of your own drums. You don’t follow social rules and you think outside the box.

You don’t care about what people have to say about you, you go after what you want, indifferently to social expectations, to your circumstances and to stereotypes.

#7. You are a problem solver

You understand that there are several ways of doing one thing. With you as a leader, people are most likely to take risks, to innovate and are less afraid of making mistakes.

You have a lot of life experience, you find solutions to problems by asking people or by experience. Good or bad, you are grateful for your experiences and you are now wiser.

#8. You are resilient

You hurt like everybody else, you feel people pain but you are capable of withstanding adversity and of recovering quickly. In other words, you can take a licking keep on ticking.

#9. You are an equal opportunity leader

You treat everyone the same: you believe in fairness, equality and in equity.

You don’t make assumptions about people and their behavior.

#10. You are a people person

You are a people person: you build great relationships, motivate people to be better and to do better.

Furthermore, you don’t assume power or influence over people. You just lead when it is needed, show appreciation for people and you don’t hug the spotlight.

At last, you do not let negative energy permeate into your life and you leave your emotions at the door.

#11. You like to help

You like helping people, giving  them the information that they need to succeed, even if they didn’t ask for help.

In your opinion, helping people is incredibly gratifying. You don’t do it for them to like you. You did it because you were needed and because you want the project to move forward.

And, you are humble enough to ask for help.

#12. You are innovative

You are constantly dissatisfied with the current system. That is why, you love innovation and you inspire others to innovate.

#13. You are cognizant of office politics

You know everything that is happening in your office and you know everyone by name.

However, you don’t judge your employees, blame them for their mistakes or gossip about your employees with your own employees.

You notice those who need training, those who hate their job, those who outperform, and those who underperform.

Basically, you understand office politics.

Last Words Of Advice!

Mots of the time, people and parents, even with the best intentions, want to direct your life. Then, we listen and achieve what people expect of us.

A leader, recognizing the value of people close to him or her, taking into account the opinions of others, recognizes that their own dreams supercede all that.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Are You Feeling Like An Outsider At Work? — 17 Simple Tips To Turn Your Situation Around

On my last 9 to 5 job, I remember my manager complaining to me that I would no longer be part of the team because I am too different, I asked too many questions and I don’t act like them or watch the same TV shows that they do.

Now at the time, I thought I wasn’t getting it and that I was failing at adulting.

Clearly, if I wanted to be successful in life and in my career, I either had to fake it and drain myself, or I needed to find another path and distance myself from “them”.

The point is that most organizations want their employees to be different and have original skills.

However, the reality is that most workplaces adhere to group-thinking, and create outsiders by forcing them to suppress their individuality for conformity.

Wondering what are the benefits of being an outsider and how you can overcome that feeling?

Are You Feeling Like An Outsider At Work? — 17 Simple Tips To Turn Your Situation Around

What is an outsider?

An outsider is a person who doesn’t feel like they belong. At work, that feeling translates itself into:

  • Feeling unsuccessful. According to society, being a successful adult at work means being great at your job, understanding and applying social norms.
  • Being unable to join a group or to find someone who matches your values and principles to some extent.
  • Being unable to express yourself freely in meetings and around a group of people.
  • Being excluded out of meetings or out of group conversations. If you are perpetually being excluded and are subject to other workplace harassment, your workplace is toxic and you must consider your mental health first.

Why are you feeling the way you do?

We are social creatures. We crave that feeling of belonging to a group that will take care of us and that will cooperate for better chances of survival.

Therefore, to get things done, we feel like we must fit in, preserve our well-being and be liked. Furthermore, feeling like an outsider can stem from:

  • A lack of cultural sensitivity. It is easy to feel excluded when we don’t understand a culture or when we don’t feel understood because of the cultural barrier.
  • A lack of social skills, a lack of confidence, a shy, introverted or lone wolf personality. Basically, feeling like an outsider is a social conditioning.
  • Your negative thoughts. If you believe certain things about yourself then they will most likely come through.
  • Differences in core values. For example, if most of your workplace like to gossip and you don’t, then you will start to feel excluded.
  • Gender gap. 
  • Generational gap. Each generation perceives the world differently and challenges the previous one. In one generation, people are shaped by social trends, are programmed with thoughts, values, moral ethics, models, examples of success and the guidelines to succeed.

What are the benefits of being an outsider?

I was brought up with the conviction that different is good. I believe that there are several ways of doing one thing.

So, I would never be thrown off if someone would go about life in an unconventional way. If you’re feeling like an outsider, chances are you:

  • Possess untapped talents and unused skills. Your feeling of being an outsider disappears when you find a place where you can exercise your gifts.
  • Are aware that you are not maximizing your potential and you are not walking in your purpose.
  • Are creative, innovative, are a trailblazer and a leader. Indeed, most leaders are outsiders. They have unique gifts and a unique perception of the world.
  • Can monetize what makes you different.

How to handle being an outsider?

Feeling included at work leads to better health, stronger work performance and brides a positive work environment. However, if you feel like an outsider, you are not alone.

Indeed, the feeling of being an outsider is very common and is not something to be ashamed of. Some people hide it, others don’t front. What is the best approach?

To claim your difference and get the best out of work:

  1. Accept yourself and take pride in your difference.
  2. Be compassionate with yourself. Not because you don’t fit in that there is something wrong with you.
  3. Strengthen your own identity and find out more about your core values.
  4. Identify your strengths and weaknesses so you can better apply them.
  5. Figure out your goals, build a vision board and remain focus on your goals.
  6. Understand that you don’t need to fit in to be successful and don’t need to be one-dimensional to exist.
  7. Acknowledge that feeling like an outsider is not a permanent nor unique situation. You can be the most wonderful person on this planet and still feel like an outsider.
  8. Stop trying hard to fit in. The more you try, the more you feel drained, the more you will end up with the wrong crowd. You just have to be prepared for when the right opportunities and people come your way.
  9. Assess your behavior and your thoughts towards your situation. Then, document your situation. Are you new to the company? Are people enjoying your company? Are people including you? Are you reserved or standoffish? Do you like, respect or understand the people you work with?
  10. Give yourself the time and space to explore what works for you, what you like and what you don’t like. There is no right place for you. You have to create your own space and not settle for less.
  11. Express who you truly are from time to time and observe what happens next. You will either create or shut off opportunities.
  12. Fill your days with activities that you enjoy.
  13. Build a strong support system with people who accept you for who you are.
  14. Support people who think and act outside the box. People who think outside the box are usually creative and innovative.
  15. Don’t pay attention to what people say about you. Don’t let external circumstances define you.
  16. Stop people pleasing and seeking outside validation. Avoid adjusting your personality and your core values to please people. Instead, observe the social norms at work, see if you want to acquire these norms, and then adjust your communication style, your work style accordingly.
  17. Otherwise, prepare an exit strategy.

Last words of Advice!

Sometimes, we have acquired all the diploma, all the skills for a job and still feel like an outsider.

Remember that there are benefits in not fitting in, that you are not failing, that you can be a leader and create your own path, that if you are not liked or included then you can be respected.

I have found that becoming an expert in your field will help you feel like you belong and will help you gain in credibility.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The Importance Of Gratitude In Leadership

Some leaders who have achieved high levels of success are unhappy and ungrateful.

They go through life with pessimism and a sense of emptiness.

They don’t express gratitude. They pass down their toxicity to other people, find faults on everything and everyone. Why is that?

It is safe to say that people who express gratitude in the workplace are seen as naive and weak. Are they really thou? Do they know something that we don’t?

Wondering what are the benefits of gratitude and how to improve your level of gratitude?

The Importance Of Gratitude In Leadership

What is gratitude?

The expression of gratitude is both personal and universal. It depends on your cultural background, your systems of belief, your circumstances and your self-awareness.

Gratitude is a conscious choice.

Gratitude is acknowledging the value of someone or something, celebrating success after reaching our goals, choosing to see the positive in any situation and consciously remembering who helped you.

Being grateful is a thinking process that needs constant work. It is a demonstration of your character and your internal strength.

Gratitude is a perception of life.

It is appreciating what you have in life, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Gratitude is an emotion, an attitude, a habit.

To some, gratitude is directly linked to happiness. To others, it fosters complacency and selfishness.

Benefits of gratitude?

Some days are harder than others. Gratitude doesn’t make things magically go away. However, it puts things in perspective.

In addition, being grateful has the ability to:

  • Increase your self-awareness. Gratitude will automatically influence your attitude, your character.
  • Stabilize your health, manage your emotional intelligence and improve your self-esteem. Gratitude is a combination of your emotions and your state of mind.
  • Increase your effectiveness, productivity and optimism.
  • Build great and valuable relationships. You will also be seen as friendly, positive and much more approachable.
  • Make others feel appreciatedMaking people feel valued will in turn make you feel valuable.
  • Promote empathy, resolve conflicts and successfully influence people.
  • Help you recognize that a curse is in fact a blessing in disguise.
  • Help you activate the laws of attraction. more opportunities will come to you naturally.
  • Make the best of everything.
  • Value and focus on the things that you do have.
  • Help you enjoy your journey and find greater meaning in life.
  • Energize you and help you experience positive emotions. It prevents depression and suppresses pride.

Through this practice, leaders build up a reservoir of positive energy.

How to improve your gratitude?

Gratitude is recognizing people for the things that they gift you, for the hurdles, the joys, for your past, present and future. To express your gratitude, practice these tips:

  1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Accept yourself for who you really are.
  3. Clarify your own goals and purpose. You will then know when to celebrate your success.
  4. Keep an open mind which means that you must be open to explore and to learn.
  5. Be sincere and positive. Avoid focusing on negativity in general.
  6. Show that you care and directly give thanks.
  7. Write down all the things that you are grateful for. You can also keep a personal journal. Then, you can memorize what you are grateful for so you can visualize it during hard times.
  8. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable, to emote and to speak your mind.
  9. Volunteer and give back to people.
  10. Engage in activities that are essential and beneficial to you.
  11. Maximize the opportunities that come your way.
  12. Learn from your painful experiences.

Gratitude is not a common emotion or state in the workplace.

Furthermore, nothing can make you feel demoralized and unappreciated like an ungrateful boss.

Nevertheless, at work, there are several opportunities to demonstrate gratitude: a motivated team, a respectful salary, expected results.

To nurture a culture of gratitude within your organization, it is important to exercise your muscle frequently :

  1. Lead by example and be genuine when expressing gratitude.
  2. Get to know your team.
  3. Help someone out once in a while.
  4. Acknowledge people’s success and offer rewards for a job well done.
  5. Sincerely compliment people once in a while.
  6. Encourage your team to always do their best.
  7. Provide frequent feedback.

What are the things that you are the most grateful for?

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

7 Pragmatic Principles Of Office Politics

There are laws and principles that govern the workplace. We can either ignore them, acknowledge them or abide by them.

These laws and principles are the most visible when someone has been promoted, is moving forward or a new boss is in town. Some appear to be jealous, some try to quickly affiliate with the winner, to show their allegiance. Others are quick to sabotage and to compete.

I am not one to willingly participate in office politics. However, in my opinion, because knowledge is power, the best way to avoid politics is to know the rules. I like to know what is happening, how to read a room, to always be aware of my behavior, and to prepare myself for what is coming.

This advice is also valuable for minorities who encounters western group think in the office, who need to be realistic about their situations and want to understand how to advance themselves, how to protect themselves.

Wondering how to navigate office politics and whether or not you should be interested in it?

7 Pragmatic Principles Of Office Politics

What is office politics?

Office politics is a human concept and is inevitable. It is also very necessary and will go on whether your participate in it or not.

In office politics people seek power, leadership, influence and/or control of other people, more responsibility on their job.

Office politics is a particular hard skill because it requires that you control your primitive, impulsive responses to different situations and that you stay in high alert at all times.

The Perks Of Office Politics

Political animals in the office usually get what they want, to evade conflicts and sometimes create them between different individuals. Political animals:

  • Have influence. They build healthy relationships, even with toxic individuals.
  • Recognize the agendas and powers at play in any relationships.
  • Get the best projects, get promoted, get pay raise and other rewards.
  • Are trusted for their opinions.
  • Get credit for their hard work.
  • Get their career on a positive track.
  • Have the ability and the tools to deal with opposition and usually wins in a conflict.
  • Conserve their energy and focus it on worthwhile issues.
  • Avoid being blindsided or facing unpleasant outcomes.

What We Hate About Office Politics

Office politics is often badly perceived because it can be cruel, be viewed as being calculated and manipulative.

Sometimes, office politics is a dangerous and corrosive game but it is a game. It is part of human nature, a social activity, a marathon and not a sprint.

It is often used to sabotage, to manipulate, to deflect or to create a conflict between people.

Therefore, it is not for the faint of heart. Before starting, you must make sure that you are robust, are not dependent on people or other external factors, that you are emotionally detached from your work and that you can clearly separate your identity from your job.

Furthermore, keep in mind that abusing power on the long run does not lead to success.

Principle #1: Defining your purpose

Having greater goals in life will help you sustain and overcome opposition, avoid being pushed around by people or events. Your ultimate goals can be:

  • staying at a company and getting your pay check to ensure your lifestyle and to guarantee financial stability.
  • staying at a company, evolving, building healthy relationships
  • Living the company and finding better

Either way, set realistic goals, expectations for yourself. Next, stay focus on your goals, use your goals to guide your decisions and your behavior.

Principle #2: Know your strengths, weaknesses and limits

Politics and power will challenge your weaknesses.

Understanding your strengths and weaknesses will help you assess your worth, appreciate your contributions at work and determine whether or not you can run with horses. This will also help you identify them in others, understand them, maximize their potential and forgive their weaknesses.

To be effective at office politics, don’t directly demonstrate or enunciate your strengths or weaknesses. It is best to wait for the right moment to do so.

In addition, you must seek to enhance your performance, your productivity, to develop competencies that are hard to acquire or hard to replace. and to deliver great results. Then, discreetly promote your results.

Principle #3: Maintaining your leadership capabilities

It is important to learn to keep your peace and your composure at all times by seriously controlling your emotions. This demands a lot of discipline and will help you grow as a person.

Furthermore, lead by example and take care or yourself first. Great leaders have power but stay humble and don’t abuse it.

Seek understanding

To help you manage people, conflicts, to adopt the right behavior, to estimate your position and status:

  • Understand the company culture, values and principles.
  • Understand the people who you work with, estimate their boundaries and assess their attitudes.
  • Believe that hierarchy exist and is gladly enforced in the workplace. This means that you must, at some point, show deference to your “superiors”.This doesn’t mean that your “superiors” have greater character, greater skill sets or greater vision. However, no matter who you are, you won’t be able to freely speak your mind, to make your own decisions, to control your assignments.

Discipline your words and your thoughts

  • Stay away from gossip and rumors.
  • Watch what you say and how you say it.
  • Give substance to your speech.
  • Monitor your behavior at all times.

Discipline your emotions

  • Get rid of your ego and nurture your sense of humor. If you don’t know something, say so and don’t fake knowledge.
  • Don’t waste your time and energy on useless matters.
  • Keep your wits about you.
  • When someone slights you, don’t give them an emotional reaction.

Principle #4: Behave ethically

  • Remain true to your core values.
  • Don’t expect to be treated fairly.
  • Upgrade your character in order to be unimpeachable from the start. People with low or no ethics are unsuccessful in the long run.

Poor character leads to abusive, aggressive, masochistic, sadist behavior and office politics.

When I was working for a long corporation, one person in the office was being bullied. I was asked, as a team member, to participate in the bullying and to force the person to quit.

Most of my team members, for fun or for fear of retribution, would engage in toxic behavior towards this one person, put down false complaints and manufacture false rumors as well.

Without doing the same, I realized that sadistically beating down on someone, engaging in toxic behavior were not aligning with my core values and wouldn’t allow me to sleep properly at night.

To solve the solution, I simply listened to the request, spoke positively about the person, suggested to them that they had to find a better position and found a better place to work myself.

What was your ethically questionable experience?

Principle #5: Building your network and gaining influence

Networking is an important process, especially if your are shy and introverted. Who you know will determine how far you will get.

Here are some tips below that will help you be unbothered, to gain influence and build positive relationships:

  • Protect your reputation at all cost. For instance, if you make promises, live up to them.
  • Have a positive attitude. Avoid being mean or offending people for sport.
  • Act or be confident. It is important to fake it until you make it, to dress confidently and dress for success.
  • Give your best on your job and put your best foot forward. You can even become an expert in your field.
  • Empathetic ally listen to your coworkers. This way, you will get invaluable information about the environment, be solution oriented and build strong relationships.
  • Look to be respected and not to be liked.
  • Seek to integrate the group before you seek to lead it.
  • Target people who can help you achieve your goals and let them know what you bring to the table.
  • Don’t worry what people say about you, don’t gossip or spread false rumors.
  • Avoid too much flattery. You will appear weak to  your peers, will erode their respect and the respect of the higher-ups.
  • Involve people in your decision-making process.

Principle #6: Friend or Foe?

It is detrimental to discern your friends from your enemies, your confidant from your comrade, your constituents from your compatriots.

Keep in mind that:

  • Not everybody is your friend and don’t expect your “friends” to have your back.
  • It is better to have allies than to have enemies.
  • Your enemies won’t stop at anything to block you from achieving your purpose.

In conflicts or challenging situations:

  • Always seek to diffuse tension.
  • Avoid taking sides, power struggles but don’t give in to enemies or attempt to please them.
  • Mind your business and don’t take anything personally.
  • Identify the toxic behavior and the solution for it.
  • Don’t stoop to the level of the perpetrator or please the naysayers.
  • Don’t play the victim or suffer unfair treatment.
  • Ask questions rather than giving answers or have a private chat with an enemy and try to bring them to your side.
  • If you are not in position of power or are not favored at your job, accept it and move on, especially if you don’t know how to maneuver the situation.
  • If excluded from a group, don’t attempt to fit in, just join a new one or leave the place.
  • If you are being openly criticized or insulted, don’t let that affect your self-worth or your work. Agree with the perpetrator without demonstrating emotion.

Principle #7: Change

To handle office politics, one must learn to appreciate change and adapt to it.

  • Stay present, stay resilient and robust to conflicts and change, to your own emotions, to the emotions of others.
  • Learn to deal with change and quickly recover from your blows.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.