Be aware of your negativity. To become self-ware, practice silence, define your passion, principles and purpose.
Prohibit the negative self-talk.
Focus on positive self-talk or affirmations. Add positive imagery and feelings to those affirmations.
Find a mantra or an affirmation that will run in the background of your mind.
How to gain mental toughness?
Mental toughness is sustaining positive focus on one task, on the one thing that keeps you going.
Mental toughness helps you concentrate on your tasks for long periods of time without any distractions.
To develop mental toughness:
Practice concentration on a daily basis.
Understand that your overall success depends on every single choice that you make.
Acknowledge that the small choices lead you towards excellence and shape your life the most.
Educate yourself on how stress works, how you react to it and learn to eliminate it from your life.
Develop the disciplines of a Warrior
According to Mark Divine, Warriors are those who have achieved mental control and mental toughness.
They have learnt to discipline their mind so they can focus on the things that matter most, maintain positive focus when they need it most, avoid being distracted by negative emotions and negative beliefs.
Since the Warrior is committed to mastering himself or herself, he or she has mastered the following disciplines:
Simplicity. They have learnt to detach themselves from material things that they don’t need.
Dedication. They apply themselves daily but don’t take themselves too seriously.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is a motivational book that encourages people to withstand adversity and to take action despite adversity.
Ryan Holiday shares a philosophical approach, rooted in stoicism, that will help you confront obstacles and turn them upside down.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is destined for leaders and entrepreneurs who:
Face challenges on a daily basis,
Need to make pragmatic decisions and take calculated risks,
Want to take their career or business to the next level.
Holiday‘s entire book is based on classical references, historical figures and war leaders, who have distinguished themselves in life and who have adopted stoicism as a life strategy.
Finally, Ryan Holiday also incorporates reputable leaders and entrepreneurs as examples of resilience and will power.
If you want to stay motivated and push through your challenges, this book is for you.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness. If we are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, we only add to our troubles.
Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we’ll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate.
Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power. But every ounce of energy directed at things we can’t actually influence is wasted—self-indulgent and self-destructive. So much power—ours, and other people’s—is frittered away in this manner.
If you mean it when you say you’re at the end of your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity to experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set.
Leadership requires determination and energy. And certain situations, at times, call on leaders to marshal that determined energy simply to endure.
There are laws and principles that govern the workplace. We can either ignore them, acknowledge them or abide by them.
These laws and principles are the most visible when someone has been promoted, is moving forward or a new boss is in town. Some appear to be jealous, some try to quickly affiliate with the winner, to show their allegiance. Others are quick to sabotage and to compete.
I am not one to willingly participate in office politics. However, in my opinion, because knowledge is power, the best way to avoid politics is to know the rules. I like to know what is happening, how to read a room, to always be aware of my behavior, and to prepare myself for what is coming.
This advice is also valuable for minorities who encounters western group think in the office, who need to be realistic about their situations and want to understand how to advance themselves, how to protect themselves.
Wondering how to navigate office politics and whether or not you should be interested in it?
What is office politics?
Office politics is a human concept and is inevitable. It is also very necessary and will go on whether your participate in it or not.
In office politics people seek power, leadership, influence and/or control of other people, more responsibility on their job.
Office politics is a particular hard skill becauseit requires that you control your primitive, impulsive responses to different situations and that you stay in high alert at all times.
The Perks Of Office Politics
Political animals in the office usually get what they want, to evade conflicts and sometimes create them between different individuals. Political animals:
Have influence. They build healthy relationships, even with toxic individuals.
Recognize the agendas and powers at play in any relationships.
Get the best projects, get promoted, get pay raise and other rewards.
Are trusted for their opinions.
Get credit for their hard work.
Get their career on a positive track.
Have the ability and the tools to deal with opposition and usually wins in a conflict.
Conserve their energy and focus it on worthwhile issues.
Avoid being blindsided or facing unpleasant outcomes.
What We Hate About Office Politics
Office politics is often badly perceived because it can be cruel, be viewed as being calculated and manipulative.
Sometimes, office politics is a dangerous and corrosive game but it is a game. It is part of human nature, a social activity, a marathon and not a sprint.
It is often used to sabotage, to manipulate, to deflect or to create a conflict between people.
Therefore, it is not for the faint of heart. Before starting, you must make sure that you are robust, are not dependent on people or other external factors, that you are emotionally detached from your work and that you can clearly separate your identity from your job.
Furthermore, keep in mind that abusing power on the long run does not lead to success.
Principle #1: Defining your purpose
Having greater goals in life will help you sustain and overcome opposition, avoid being pushed around by people or events. Your ultimate goals can be:
staying at a company and getting your pay check to ensure your lifestyle and to guarantee financial stability.
staying at a company, evolving, building healthy relationships
Living the company and finding better
Either way, set realistic goals, expectations for yourself. Next, stay focus on your goals, use your goals to guide your decisions and your behavior.
Principle #2: Know your strengths, weaknesses and limits
Politics and power will challenge your weaknesses.
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses will help you assess your worth, appreciate your contributions at work and determine whether or not you can run with horses. This will also help you identify them in others, understand them, maximize their potential and forgive their weaknesses.
To be effective at office politics, don’t directly demonstrate or enunciate your strengths or weaknesses. It is best to wait for the right moment to do so.
In addition, you must seek to enhance your performance, your productivity, to develop competencies that are hard to acquire or hard to replace. and to deliver great results. Then, discreetly promote your results.
Principle #3: Maintaining your leadership capabilities
It is important to learn to keep your peace and your composure at all times by seriously controlling your emotions. This demands a lot of discipline and will help you grow as a person.
Furthermore, lead by example and take care or yourself first. Great leaders have power but stay humble and don’t abuse it.
To help you manage people, conflicts, to adopt the right behavior, to estimate your position and status:
Understand the company culture, values and principles.
Understand the people who you work with, estimate their boundaries and assess their attitudes.
Believe that hierarchy exist and is gladly enforced in the workplace. This means that you must, at some point, show deference to your “superiors”.This doesn’t mean that your “superiors” have greater character, greater skill sets or greater vision. However, no matter who you are, you won’t be able to freely speak your mind, to make your own decisions, to control your assignments.
Discipline your words and your thoughts
Stay away from gossip and rumors.
Watch what you say and how you say it.
Give substance to your speech.
Monitor your behavior at all times.
Discipline your emotions
Get rid of your ego and nurture your sense of humor. If you don’t know something, say so and don’t fake knowledge.
Don’t waste your time and energy on useless matters.
Keep your wits about you.
When someone slights you, don’t give them an emotional reaction.
Principle #4: Behave ethically
Remain true to your core values.
Don’t expect to be treated fairly.
Upgrade your character in order to be unimpeachable from the start. People with low or no ethics are unsuccessful in the long run.
Poor character leads to abusive, aggressive, masochistic, sadist behavior and office politics.
When I was working for a long corporation, one person in the office was being bullied. I was asked, as a team member, to participate in the bullying and to force the person to quit.
Most of my team members, for fun or for fear of retribution, would engage in toxic behavior towards this one person, put down false complaints and manufacture false rumors as well.
Without doing the same, I realized that sadistically beating down on someone, engaging in toxic behavior were not aligning with my core values and wouldn’t allow me to sleep properly at night.
To solve the solution, I simply listened to the request, spoke positively about the person, suggested to them that they had to find a better position and found a better place to work myself.
What was your ethically questionable experience?
Principle #5: Building your network and gaining influence
Networking is an important process, especially if your are shy and introverted. Who you know will determine how far you will get.
Here are some tips below that will help you be unbothered, to gain influence and build positive relationships:
Protect your reputation at all cost. For instance, if you make promises, live up to them.
Have a positive attitude. Avoid being mean or offending people for sport.
Act or be confident. It is important to fake it until you make it, to dress confidently and dress for success.
Give your best on your job and put your best foot forward. You can even become an expert in your field.
Empathetic ally listen to your coworkers. This way, you will get invaluable information about the environment, be solution oriented and build strong relationships.
Look to be respected and not to be liked.
Seek to integrate the group before you seek to lead it.
Target people who can help you achieve your goals and let them know what you bring to the table.
Don’t worry what people say about you, don’t gossip or spread false rumors.
Avoid too much flattery. You will appear weak to your peers, will erode their respect and the respect of the higher-ups.
Involve people in your decision-making process.
Principle #6: Friend or Foe?
It is detrimental to discern your friends from your enemies, your confidant from your comrade, your constituents from your compatriots.
Keep in mind that:
Not everybody is your friend and don’t expect your “friends” to have your back.
It is better to have allies than to have enemies.
Your enemies won’t stop at anything to block you from achieving your purpose.
In conflicts or challenging situations:
Always seek to diffuse tension.
Avoid taking sides, power struggles but don’t give in to enemies or attempt to please them.
Mind your business and don’t take anything personally.
Identify the toxic behavior and the solution for it.
Don’t stoop to the level of the perpetrator or please the naysayers.
Don’t play the victim or suffer unfair treatment.
Ask questions rather than giving answers or have a private chat with an enemy and try to bring them to your side.
If you are not in position of power or are not favored at your job, accept it and move on, especially if you don’t know how to maneuver the situation.
If excluded from a group, don’t attempt to fit in, just join a new one or leave the place.
If you are being openly criticized or insulted, don’t let that affect your self-worth or your work. Agree with the perpetrator without demonstrating emotion.
Principle #7: Change
To handle office politics, one must learn to appreciate change and adapt to it.
Stay present, stay resilient and robust to conflicts and change, to your own emotions, to the emotions of others.
Learn to deal with change and quickly recover from your blows.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
The workplace can help us realize your potential but it can also trigger fight or flight responses in us, bring out our innermost insecurities. At work, as leaders so many things threaten our career goals, our promotions, our desires for success, our relationships and most importantly our sanity.
Leaders constantly feel the pressures of keeping up, of always being on top of everything. It is even a requirement that leaders project confidence, demonstrate optimism, or remain stoic in the face of events.
However, sooner or later, we end up sacrificing what we value most, solely keeping up with appearances, looking busy but being unproductive, spreading ourselves thin, doing sloppy work and not caring about people.
Wondering what strategies to use to improve your well-being and work-life balance?
What is work-life balance?
Work is part of life: we spend most of our waking hours at work more than anything else. Needless to say, work and life are not opposite nor are they inseparable: lack of work-life balance has direct repercussions on our health, finances and families, creates fatigue, poor judgement, poor performance, high emotions.
Creating work-life balance is not giving equal attention to both work and life. But, it means that you are satisfied with your contributions to your life and work, that you are able to create a sustainable synergy between both so that you are fueled by them on a daily basis.
A healthy work-life balance can be motivated by life changing events or by a desire to do better. Work-life balance involves wise time management, self-discipline, and creates a better quantity to quality ratio.
Balancing work and life is hard but achievable because time is limited and we want to maximize our time the best we know how.
Benefits of a healthy work-life balance
A healthy work-life balance is an issue that mostly plagues millennials. To them, work should be enjoyable, emotionally and financially rewarding.
In many ways, it forces us to redefine success, our career and our relationships. It also helps us fulfill our needs, give us a profound sense of satisfaction, and become the best version of ourselves.
It allows you to create intention: you move with a clearly defined purpose. It is essential to manage your time and resources, level of commitment, to invest most of them in yourself and not in someone else’s dream.
It has the ability to increase job satisfaction, well-being, sense of self, self-awareness, effectiveness, adaptability, resilience, and creativity. It provides the tools to improve work performance, to revamp health, to maintain relationships, to appropriately deal with stress, and to avoid burnout.
How to create the best work-life balance?
Sometimes we are unable to distance ourselves from work because we feel indispensable to the organization, we feel threatened, or replaceable. Furthermore, achieving work-life balance is hard: some people, mostly high achievers, can feel guilty for taking time off and not investing it in their work.
However, an unhealthy work-life balance can lead to burn out, can trigger unexpected emotional outburst, heavily strain your physical and emotional well-being.
Burnout is hard to recover from. It hits you unexpectedly but is actually a slow burning process. Burnout is caused by overworking yourself, by a lack of recognition, by a lack of validation and chronic stress. It translates itself into feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness, dissatisfaction, despair, depressions, low self-esteem, feelings of being stuck and of failure.
In addition, it is detrimental to understand that living to work or sacrificing health and energy is not the way to succeed. To successfully create a healthy work-life balance:
Take care of yourself first and boost your leadership self-esteem from time to time. It is cliché but it is true: when you fly on airplane, you must put your mask on first before assisting others.
Be clear about your purpose. Identify the reasons why you are working, establish a personal mission statement or elevator speech.
Take back control of your time, your energy, thoughts and happiness. Strangely enough, we choose the life we want to live. We chose yesterday the life we are living today.
Be present and get out of autopilot mode. This will help you appreciate moments in your life and to think on your feet.
Assess your strengths and weaknesses to figure out where and how to apply them, to know when and how to say no and to get the most out of work.
Identify stressors, the things that fulfill you the most and those that don’t. What activities engage you the most? If your aren’t applying your strengths and interests at work, find areas outside of work to do so.
Prioritize what matters most, avoid multitasking, pay attention to the vital few, keep your life simple and don’t be afraid of missing out.
Align your daily activities in life and work with your values, principles.
During the day, clear out at least one hour to relax and empty out your mind. Try meditation and a new sport. If it is not working, give yourself the space and the time to explore new things.
Reduce your commuting time or avoid commuting during peak hours if possible.
Dedicate more hours to sleep. Sleep is a cure for many diseases. It helps to eliminate bad toxins, to increase your focus and your job performance.
Challenge your core habits and deal with change one at a time. Implementing a successful work-life balance can be overwhelming at first but it makes sense in the long run.
Promote well-being in the workplace. Dedicate a specific space for work only, decorate your office with things you enjoy, be playful without being frivolous, show your employees that you take vacations and encourage them to do the same.
Stop focusing on analytics, metrics, meetings and deadlines to measure your self-worth.
After work, reward yourself, leave work for the workplace and concentrate on your family and friends when you are with them.
Help your employees understand that their health, well-being is more important to their productivity. That being said, monitor the most ambitious and driven employees to make sure they don’t burnout or literally work themselves to death.
Value your employees and show your appreciation for their hard work.
Don’t burden your employees with heavy workload and unreachable deadlines.
Allow flexible hours and other activities in the workplace.
Put the power of internet to good use and allow people to work from home. Employees working from home are more productive, have reduced commuting time, have less stress, are not constantly bothered by events in the office. It also allows the organization to save money on energy consumption and office space.
Seek external help if needed.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.