Ego Is The Enemy By Ryan Holiday

In Ego Is The EnemyRyan Holiday teaches you to stay humble in your aspirations, gracious in your success and resilient in your failures.

How to achieve your aspirations?

Ego is your worst enemy and can easily sink your ship.

Ego blocks your progress in life and sometimes fast tracks your downfall.

To improve and fight your ego, you must:

  • Be open to feedback but learn to evaluate your own abilities.
  • Practice detachment, tame your imagination before it runs wild and go through life with a quiet confidence.
  • Don’t stay stuck in your head. Instead, participate in what is going on around you.
  • Try staying silent in conversation. Silence can be strategic and is sustainable.
  • Always seek to learn. When you are a student, you absorb what is going on around you, you are focused on gaining knowledge and improving yourself.
  • Avoid being passionate. Instead, favor purpose and realism.
  • Ignore when people slight you and brush off the pain. Just think of it as you paying your dues.
  •  Avoid being prideful. Pride leads to arrogance. It impedes your ability “to learn, to adapt, to be flexible, to build relationships”.
  • Doing ever stop working.

Ego Is The Enemy By Ryan Holiday #book #bookreviews #leadershipbooks #leadership #ego #JourneyToLeadership

How to maintain success?

You have aspirations and you have worked so hard to climb the ladder of success.

However, when you start succeeding, you will start facing new ego problems that can quickly erode your success. To maintain long-term success:

  • Don’t pretend that you know what you are doing. Instead, keep learning, stay focused on facts and do your best.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others or try to keep up with the Joneses because you will end up doing things you don’t want to do.
  • Always remember your purpose and what is important to you before saying yes to opportunities.
  • Don’t be paranoid, entitled or controlling.
  • Learn to organize your thoughts, manage yourself and others.
  • Understand that selflessness and humility are strengths and not weaknesses.
  • Don’t try to be the center of attention, hug the spotlight and take credit for something you didn’t do or deserve.
  • Patiently progress towards you goals. It is better to go at it slow and steady.

How to handle failure?

Ego, power and success can make you delusional. You have to constantly self-monitor and stay attentive for your own downfalls.

Moreover, everybody goes through setbacks in life. Failure is not fair and happens to good people too.

But with a big ego, you tend to get caught by surprise. Your ego will make it hard for you to handle rock bottom.

To be resilient in your failures:

  • Know your worth.
  • Stay humble and on purpose.
  • Don’t abandon your principles and maintain your character.
  • Don’t depend on recognition and reward.
  • Make use of your environment and transform your failures into something positive.
  • Understand that, even if you do everything right and perfect, you still will experience failure.
  • Discipline yourself to do the right thing. It will be hard but it will makes you less self absorbed on the long run.

Review

Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday is short, practical and direct self-development book. 

According to Ryan Holiday, there are three stages in life: aspirations, success, failure. You will have to discipline your ego in all three stages if you want to get somewhere.

Ego is our own worst enemy. It becomes detrimental to suppress or manage our ego before we develop bad habits. For example, he warns us against common knowledge:

  • Don’t be passionate or you will fail. It is better to be apathetic and acknowledge the realities of your passions.
  • Don’t flatter your ego.
  • Don’t think you know everything.

Ego Is The Enemy is ideal for leaders who want to tame their ego, improve their leadership and relationships.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is
girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.

Detachment is a sort of natural ego antidote.

For your work to have truth in it, it must come from truth.

We will learn that though we think big, we must act and live small in order to accomplish what we seek.

The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong.

All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves
to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Ryan Holiday

 

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8 Ways Travelling Improves Your Leadership

I tend to travel at moments when everything in my life are chaotic or going down hill. Why? Because I gain better perspective when I push my boundaries and step outside my personal situation.

Travelling can indeed be a wonderful and unique experience.

It can also be a way to increase your leadership, change your mindset, improve your self-awareness and discover better principles.

Wondering how can travelling make you a better leader?

There are a lot of positive effects to travelling.

8 Ways Travelling Improves Your Leadership #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #selfimprovement #selfawareness #selfesteem #confidence #travel

1. You discover yourself

When you travel, nobody really knows you so you are free to try and embody new versions of yourself.

That is because by travelling, you remove yourself from the pressures of society and from the expectations that your parents or circle have placed on you.

You find ways to become a better leader for yourself and your team.

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things. - Henry Miller Click To Tweet

2. You renew your mind

You change your perspective, gain more clarity and start thinking differently.

Indeed, travelling quiets the negative voices in your head and rewires your brain.

Travelling is an opportunity to go into deep introspection, to discipline yourself, to challenge your beliefs and assumptions, and redefine your values and priorities.

You are too absorbed by the new environments to stay stuck in the past, anxious about the future, or stuck in your head.

3. You get out of your comfort zone

One of my favorite things about travelling is taking risks and getting out of your comfort zone. It requires a lot of confidence and a taste for the unknown.

It gives you the opportunity to try new things and try out different versions of themselves.

Not everybody has the opportunity to travel. To be kind to your wallet, you can travel to the city next door.

4. You build up self-confidence

Investment in travel is an investment in yourself. - Matthew Karsten Click To Tweet

When I travel, I don’t like making plans in general.

I rather wander, roam through the streets and get lost so I can ask people my way back, practice a different language, find hidden treasures and test my ability to be resourceful.

Getting lost and finding my way back gives me more confidence in my abilities to successfully take care of myself. I can then return home with the conviction that I can solve anything I put my mind to.

5. You get healed

Travelling provides healing for your entire being and reminds you that there is still beauty in the world.

  • You acquire the opportunity to get to know yourself better, to try different things, to get out of your attributed role.
  • You become present and aware of your surroundings.
  • You listen to yourself more and get in touch with your intuition.
  • You treasure your experiences more than material things. Your positive memories will help you overcome difficult times.

6. You balance your work and life

Leaders don’t always have time to relax and travel as much as they would want to. Travelling improves your work-life balance because:

  • You don’t have to worry so much about work and your coworkers.
  • You remove yourself from toxicity and enjoy people who enjoy you.
  • You break from your routine and from zombie mode.
  • You take a well deserved break from your drama.
  • You recenter yourself and you realize that we are all human beings.
You lose sight of things… and when you travel, everything balances out. - Daranna Gidel Click To Tweet

7. You develop cultural sensitivity

Through my years of travel, I have seen people travelling so they could feel superior and turn their nose up at people from different cultures who live their lives differently.

They basically use travelling as a way to validate their beliefs of superiority.

The reality is travelling is a way to open your mind and experience new cultures.

  • You gain more knowledge.
  • You become less judgmental.
  • You become culturally sensitive.
  • You may find where you truly belong.
  • You understand that different is good.
  • You believe that everything or everyone has their qualities and their flaws.
  • You acknowledge that most people don’t fall under all the stereotypes.
When overseas you learn more about your own country, than you do the place you’re visiting. - Clint Borgen Click To Tweet

8. You grow social Skills

Travelling increases your curiosity, creativity and social skills.

You meet interesting people on your journey who speak different languages but who have the same life experiences and the same intentions.

Beyond the language barrier, you become self-reliant, you value people and make an effort to understand other people.

Last Words Of Advice!

Try travelling alone if you can.

When you travel alone, you make your own decisions, you learn yourself, you are responsible for yourself and you do what you want.

Finally, you learn to value yourself and enjoy yourself alone. 

once a year go some place you've never been before - Dalai Lama Click To Tweet

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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Carol S. Dweck

MEET THE AUTHOR

Carol S. Dweck is a PH.D and researcher in the fields of personality, social psychology, and developmental psychology. Carol S. Dweck is also the author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

11 Habits Of Emotionally Disciplined Leaders

There are no good or bad emotions per se. However, some emotional displays are more socially acceptable than others, depending on each individual’s socio-economic background, appearances and attached stereotypes.

For example, being spiteful and openly provoking someone is socially accepted. However, a person reacting to that provocation with anger is not.

Furthermore, in the workplace, you must leave your emotions at the door, and display a confident and positive attitude. Demonstrating that you are having a bad week will probably get you removed from the project.

When the pressure is on, organizations look to leaders to take action and to safely bring the organization out of hot waters. Leaders who are unable to step up to the plate will potentially be removed from their position.

As a leader, you must discipline your emotions, always have a clear head, continuously deal with challenges, give and receive feedback, keep your employees motivated and on task, even when you are tired or fed up.

Wondering how to discipline your emotions and improve your leadership skills?

11 Habits Of Emotionally Disciplined Leaders

What being emotionally disciplined means…

Emotional discipline is about being able to effectively manage your feelings. Being emotionally disciplined means that you are also able to:

  • Stay calm in challenging situations and overpower your own emotions. You can then deal with a tough situation, without making it worse.
  • Respond and not react to triggering events.
  • Gain more power over yourself and control yourself instead of being controlled.
  • Separate your inner voice from the outside noise.
  • Remain in the present, avoid dwelling on the past and obsessing about the future.
  • Decide and act how you want to really feel.
  • Acquire the freedom to express yourself freely and to engage in activities that make you happy.
  • Avoid getting tangled up in someone else’s web and positively interact with people. Let’s be honest, emotional discipline is useful to gracefully put people back in their place.
  • See people for who they really are and for how they really make you feel.
  • Gain new perspectives on your problems and navigate different situations.
  • Effectively address important and difficult issues.
  • Take advantage of a given situation and delay instant gratification for long-term rewards.
  • Possess several strategies to overcome most challenges.

Why discipline your emotions?

People will try your patience and your peace of mind on a daily basis in life and in the workplace.

The way you feel has an impact on your behavior, on the way you lead and the way you think. Your emotions also affect your health, your self-talk and your work performance.

Needless to say, becoming emotionally disciplined requires a lot of self-reflection, quiet moments with yourself and understanding that no one can harm you without your consent.

It requires growth, that you build up your resistance and become thick-skinned. It is not an easy nor an overnight process.

How leaders strengthen their emotional discipline?

Most people who possess emotional discipline are successfully placed in leadership positions because they are able to work through their own discomfort. To strengthen your emotional discipline, it is imperative to acquire the following habits.

#1. Leaders have a strong hold on their identity

They know their core values, their strengths and weaknesses. They also know where to apply them and they learn about themselves through their emotions.

In addition, they do not let stereotypes and assumptions define them.

#2. Leaders understand their triggers

This step is time-consuming because people might not want to immediately confront their emotions and they might resist the drive down memory lane.

When the pressure is on, leaders are able to quickly identify the origin of your emotions. They know their triggers, understand why that situation or this person is triggering them.

Furthermore, they don’t let anyone push their buttons or control them, they don’t react but they respond to negative behavior.

They navigate office politics well and they know how to deal with toxic people.

Remember, it is essential to not give the people who are triggering you satisfaction.

#3. Leaders stay on purpose

They have a goal and vision for their life.

They wake up in the morning ready to achieve their goals for the day and to make the right decisions for themselves.

#4. Leaders walk with integrity

They do what is right because doing the wrong thing requires too much emotional effort.

Moreover, they take accountability for their actions and don’t shift blame.

#5. Leaders stay in the moment

Most of the time, being in the moment will give you the opportunity to feel your emotional response and give you the appropriate response to any situation.

#6. Leaders identify the emotions that overcome them

If you cannot find the right words to describe your emotion, postpone your self-reflection until later, when you’re in a quiet place.

#7. If they can, leaders write down their thoughts on paper

This way, you will notice your thought patterns, illogical and irrational thoughts, the assumptions that you make, the systems of beliefs, the solutions to your situation, what you need to feel better and to clarify your situation.

#8. Leaders practice self-care

They work out regularly, eat well and do things that you enjoy.

In addition, they take the time to meditate, to quiet the noise in their minds, to improve their self-talk and to employ the power of positive affirmations.

#9. Leaders see people for who they truly are

Leaders are not only self-aware but they are aware of other people’s intention.

#10. Leaders have a strong support system

They have an emotional support system in place that helps them reason, that they go to regularly and that act as a sounding board.

They also surround themselves with people who are emotionally healthy.

#11. Leaders don’t take anything personally

To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can harm you without your consent.

So, emotionally disciplined leaders look for solutions instead of dwelling on their circumstances, focus on the positive and don’t dwell on the negative.

Last Words Of Advice!

You cannot run from your emotions and project false ones. 

Eventually, they will catch up with you. One small insignificant incident can trigger and instantly download all the emotions that you haven’t dealt with.

Don’t be afraid of your emotions. They are there to help you and they will ease up once you have confronted them.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The Importance Of Being Present In Leadership

Leaders often find themselves looking for the next best thing, distracted by the past and worrying about the future.

However, dwelling in the past or the future brings about dissatisfaction and unhappiness, impedes leaders from being effective, from being creative or finding appropriate solutions.

Indeed, we have all experienced these moments in meetings when everyone in the room is completely checked out, where people talk over each other and where no useful information is shared.

Wondering how to improve your leadership and live in the present?

The Importance Of Being Present In Leadership

What being present means?

Being present is a state of mind. It means being able to quiet your mind, to stay open and authentic, to remain in constant contact with your emotions and with your surroundings.

Being present means living in the moment and not overthinking the past, the present or the future. When you live in the present, you don’t over-analyze life, you accept your situation, take action or effectively resolve your problem.

Benefits of being present

Being present is powerful because it can be acted upon right now.

Usually, people dissatisfaction or unhappiness is caused by their attachment to the future or the past. Being present will help you:

  • Become more effective, more intuitive, more creative.
  • Be more aware of your fluctuating thoughts and emotions.
  • Achieve a higher sense of confidence and authenticity.
  • Increase your level of gratitude, trust, respect and broaden your charisma.
  • Gain the ability to interpret and to respond appropriately to any given situation.
  • Get the most out of your day and out of others.
  • Hone your communication and relationship skills. You can then connect with others, adapt to people and read them better.
  • Build up your emotional intelligence.
  • Foresee challenges and notice details.
  • Avoid being in a constant state of pain, anxiety or depression.
  • Retrieve your ability to enjoy your life and be an inspiration to people around you.
  • Activate the Law of Attraction.

How to become more present?

Most of the time our mind is somewhere else.

Thoughts submerge us whether we want it or not. Therefore, asking someone to stop thinking is like asking them to stop breathing.

Your job is to not eliminate the thoughts that come to mind but to control them.

Needless to say, learning to be present is not an overnight process. Becoming more present requires a lot of self-discipline and self-awareness:

  1. Understand that you are a mental, intellectual, emotional, spiritual being.
  2. Understand that your past doesn’t define you and that you cannot go back in time. Worrying about the past will not help you identify what is wrong in the present and will definitely strengthen your negative thoughts.
  3. Do not worry about the future. Your mind tries to create the future from your past and not from your present information. However, dreaming of your future is OK if you are expecting better for yourself.
  4. Be self-aware and conscious. The moment you realize that you are not present, you are in the moment.
  5. Stay true to yourself, avoid comparing yourself to others and avoid caring about what others think of you.
  6. Listen to your gut and constantly remind yourself of your purpose.
  7. Observe the patterns of your mind and observe your own reaction.
  8. Accept the thoughts that come to you, don’t act on them and keep it moving.
  9. Take time to reflect, to listen to yourself before dealing with people or entering a situation that you cannot handle. For example, I like taking my lunch break alone to center myself, to give me time to recharge my batteries.
  10. Slow down, avoid multitasking and give yourself time to think before making a decision.
  11. Avoid external distractions to be able to engage properly with people.
  12. Prioritize, appreciate your time and energy. It is also important to avoid missing moments with your family and friends.
  13. Be more empathetic, actively listen to people and seek someone else’s point of view.
  14. Find things to be grateful about.
  15. Find an activity that you enjoy in the moment.
  16. Practice focusing on your breathing.
  17. Surround yourself with people who matter most to you.
  18. Compliment people, once in a while and give them your full attention.
  19. Do not self-medicate.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.