8 Ways Great Leaders Deal With Disappointment

Recently, I have made solid plans around an opportunity that didn’t turn out. Thou I didn’t care much about the opportunity, I was frustrated that the plans that I carefully hatched fell through.

In order to find out why the opportunity fell off, I had a conversation with a toxic individual who spewed lies and venom and with whom I happened to get out of character.

Because I lost my plans for the future and gave away my personal power, I was deeply disappointed in myself and in the circumstances.

If you are a trailblazing leader, are goal-oriented or enjoy making plans for the future, these moments happen often and you will face a lot of disappointments in your life.

That is why, you simply have to learn to cope with it.

Wondering how leaders overcome disappointment in life?

8 Ways Great Leaders Deal With Disappointment #resilience #adversity #leadership #failure #success #selfesteem

The importance of disappointments

Disappointment is defined as feelings of sadness or displeasure caused by feelings of unfulfilled hope and failed expectations.

Sometimes, an opportunity that we wished for just doesn’t turn out; A person we are hoping for doesn’t show up or act right.

However, life never goes according to plans. Eventually, you will make new plans, you will realize that not every opportunity is a good opportunity and not everyone is good for you.

Feelings of disappointment are hard to get rid off at first but are ephemeral. Those feelings will go away with time.

Once you have overcome these feelings, you will finally understand who you truly are, you can grow as a person, become a stronger person, and build up your character.

How to overcome disappointment?

1. Accept your emotions

Disappointment is part of life and everyone will experience it at some point in life.

Disappointment can trigger a vast array of emotions that you cannot run away from or cover up.

It becomes critical to acknowledge your feelings and find out what exactly triggered it.

Refusing to analyze, confront and discipline your emotions can cause long-term damage on your health.

2. Forgive yourself

Learning to forgive yourself is the hardest part of dealing with disappointment because we are grasping our errors and what we “should” have done instead.

You are only human. You have made mistakes and you will probably make some more.

So, be compassionate with yourself, avoid shifting blame and take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well and exercise.

3. Reframe your mindset

Now, that you have dealt with your raw emotions, it is time to restructure your mindset, improve on yourself, analyze your situation and mentally distance yourself from your past expectations.

This is the moment when you get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable, when you accept disappointment as a part of life and as a challenge, when you use it to improve yourself and to change the way you have been doing things.

While you are reframing your mindset:

  • Monitor your self-talk.
  • Don’t expect to be constantly disappointed because you attract what you think.
  • Practice self control to make better decisions, to nurture healthy thoughts because you are responsible for yourself.

4. Shift your focus

Now that you have reframed your mind, you have to trust that positivity can result from a negative situation and focus on turning your negative situation into a positive one.

The best way to keep moving forward and to making the best out of any situation is to  stay busy, positive, focused and on purpose, to focus on your strengths and on who you want to be.

You can also find out what you could have done differently and make your goals more achievable.

5. Stay present

Your disappointment happened in the past and it’s time to move on.

There is no sense in replaying a situation in your mind over and over again.

It becomes detrimental to your health to be present and be grateful for what you currently have.

If you cannot remain in the present and keep ruminating, it is best to quickly analyze your feelings until you get closure.

6. Surround yourself with positive people

Disappointment can turn into a burden that can be too heavy for one person.

It can be helpful to share your disappointment with people you trust and who care about you.

As a general notice:

  • Be careful who you surround yourself with.
  • Stay away from people who constantly disappoint you or who hurt you on purpose.

7. Let go control

In life, you must always remember that you cannot control everything that happens to you or around you.

Therefore, 

  • Don’t worry about the circumstances outside your control. It won’t change anything.
  • Trust that life has a better plan and solution for you.
  • Remember that there are many more opportunities out there.
  • Don’t get too attached to your plans and expectations.
  • Expect setbacks in life.

8. Grow!

Remember that life is a journey and that every failure brings you closer to your success.

We can learn something from every life experience, even from our disappointments.

Last Words Of Advice!

No matter the situation, always maintain your personal power.

There is no need to always throw yourself a pity party.

Once you have given yourself time to heal and when you get over your feelings of disappointment, you must think about what you could have done differently and implement the new solution the next time you face a similar situation.

Now that you know better, do better!

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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The Importance Of Creativity In Leadership

Organizations often face challenges that cannot be handle the traditional way.

Leaders quickly realize that creativity is the skill that will remove challenges, increase the success rate and will optimistically carry their organization into the future.

Wondering how to boost your creativity?

The Importance Of Creativity In Leadership #innovation #creativity #leadership #risks #change #passions #talents #strengths #mindfulness

What is creativity?

Creativity doesn’t belong to the select few.

Creativity is the process of producing something out of nothing, of combining older ideas, of bringing imagination and ideas into reality.

Creativity is intelligence having fun. - Albert Einstein Click To Tweet

The benefits of creativity in leadership

In leadership, creativity is the mindset that improves workplace culture. Leaders who are creative:

  • Are self-aware, authentic and passionate.
  • Are solution-oriented and insightful.
  • Are walking inspirations and are confident about their abilities.
  • Make easy connections and see possibilities where there aren’t any.
  • Understand that the world has changed and is changing.
  • Think outside the box and challenge the status quo.
  • Need motivation and autonomy. 

How to boost your creativity?

Creativity is harder than we think but plays an important role in job satisfaction. There are a few ways that you can boost your creativity. 

1. Take time off to restore yourself

Restoring yourself means that you know who you are and that you understand that society can erode your authentic self. Taking time off will help you to:

  • Get out of your boring routine.
  • Let your imagination run wild.
  • Practice meditation, sleep and rest your mind.
  • Prepare yourself for your next move.
  • Exercise. Exercising will help you clear your mind and energize you.
  • Put some distance between your personal project and your thoughts.
  • Organize your day and work at hours where your creativity is the highest.
  • Enjoy solitude. Solitude allows introspection and introspection triggers creativity.

2. Change your habits

It is good to change your way of doing things from time to time. In order to renew your though pattern:

  • Go somewhere or try something new.
  • Try things without fear or shame.
  • Say yes to different opportunities more often.
  • Expose yourself to things that inspire you and gain more experience.
  • Build up new good habits. Building new habits will allow your body to go on autopilot while your mind is free to wander.

For leaders to become original, they would have to know what has already been created.

3. Don’t avoid failures

Failure happens to everyone and is inevitable.

Therefore, take more risks and learn the rules so you can break them.

In addition, laugh at yourself and welcome constructive criticism.

Fail as much as you can and fail early because even when you fail, you can always start over and the lessons learned will make you smarter.

4. Follow your passions and talents

Your passions and talents come easy to you, can be sustained on long periods of time and will fuel your creativity.

Your passion will inspire someone else to be creative. To identify your passions and talents:

5. Work on your skills

Acquiring expertise in your area of interest will be swift and will liberate your mind so that your creativity can takeover.

A writer who has never learnt to read or write cannot express his creativity.

A fashion designer who hasn’t learnt different sowing techniques cannot attain their highest potential. 

A leader who has never learnt to communicate efficiently will have a hard time sharing their ideas.

6. Keep on open mind

When you want to be creative, it becomes critical to keep an open mind for whatever you do:

  • Have an insatiable level of curiosity.
  • Listen to the ideas that come to you.
  • Read books, listen to music, watch shows that will inspire you and that do not necessarily pertain to your are of interest.
  • Learn new skills. Learning new skills will give you the opportunity to explore.
  • Remove fear or other negative emotions that may block your thinking process.

7. Write down whatever comes to your mind

Ideas come to you at impromptu moments. It becomes handy to keep a notebook with you at all times so you can write them down as soon as possible.

To jumpstart your imagination, you can try brainstorming techniques or stare at a blank canvas as long as you need it. Blank canvas can be intimidating because there is an unlimited amount of outcomes.

When you are writing down your ideas, remember that there are no good or bad idea, just an unlimited number of ideas.

8. Monitor your surroundings

To get inspiration, you must surround yourself with creative people or with people from different backgrounds who hold different opinions.

You can also sit in public and observe the movement of people.

Last Words Of Advice!

It is one thing to be creative and another to maintain the creative process. You must learn yourself well and stay confident in your ability to create.

To maintain your creativity, first share your vision and ideas across your organization. Then, encourage others to come to you with ideas.

Is your organization doing enough to increase the creativity within the company?

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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The Importance Of Risk Taking In Leadership

All leaders have a clear vision for their lives.

They are willing to go through tough waters to achieve their vision.

However, they know that the greater their vision, the greater the focus needed, the greater the risks taken, and hopefully, the greater the reward.

Wondering how to take risks and step out your comfort zone?

The Importance Of Risk Taking In Leadership

Taking risks means stepping outside of your comfort zone.

Furthermore, risk taking is an inherent human trait and plays a major part in the life of leaders.

Risk taking may depend on the leader’s age, generation and financial background.

Risk taking is contagious. When your team sees you initiating risks and stepping out of your comfort zone, they ble will feel more comfortable doing the same.

For the past few years, risk taking has been treated like a disease.

Nowadays, taking risks is valued because it provides opportunities even though the consequences can be disastrous.

I believe that the old saying “with high risks come high rewards” is still defensible.

Taking risks is not reckless as long as they are calculated.

Why should leaders take risks?

Some people try to avoid risks and others fearlessly walk straight into it.

However, leaders are willing and obligated to take risks.

The key rewards of risk taking as a leader include longevity, meaningful experiences, increased finance, and a more motivated, loyal and trustworthy team.

People don’t take risks simply because of fear. They are generally afraid of failure, of success, of being vulnerable, being wrong, or admitting their errors and limits.

How to take calculated risks?

Risk taking can be an effective leadership strategy. To take calculated risks:

  1. Define clear goals and a vision.
  2. Gather information to estimate your risks. Do your research to unveil potential obstacles and give yourself time to find a solution.
  3. Measure your resources and the costs of your actions.
  4. Take a moment to evaluate the negative and the positive outcomes of your decisions. Study the pros and the cons to make the right decisions.
  5. Do something that scares you everyday. Get out your routine and try new activities to uncover your limits and who you truly are.
  6. Be aware of your own abilities and surround yourself with people with complementary skills.
  7. Learn to trust yourself and your decisions. It is important to listen to your gut, to distinguish your intuition from your emotions, to avoid overthinking or over-analyzing your decisions.
  8. Understand that you are your only limit and that you set your goals.
  9. Increase your emotional intelligence. Don’t let your fears make decisions for you. What ifs will stop you from taking chances.
  10. Learn from your past failures.
  11. Practice taking risks and prepare yourself for rejection. Rejection is not as bad as it seems and usually doesn’t last as long as regret. Regretting a moment or a situation is definitely worse than being rejected.
  12. Avoid spreading your self thin, examine opportunities that come your way, and learn to say no to opportunities that seem too good to be true.
  13. Test your ideas to a wise sounding board that you trust and that can be candid with you.
  14. Be reactive. Be on the lookout for possible breakthroughs or setbacks, and be ready to correct mistakes.
  15. Embrace change and always expect the unexpected.
  16. Don’t try to be perfect. In case of failure from risk-taking, practice forgiveness. and failing forward.
  17. Don’t make assumptions and keep learning.
  18. Become resilient.

Last Words Of Advice!

In life as in work, risk is inevitable just like failure is. Remember:

  • Fortune favors the bold.
  • The risk is always worth being taken and can be life-changing.
  • Don’t be too overconfident or completely eradicate fear in order to properly estimate risks.
  • Recognizing the positive outcomes of your risk taking will create momentum and gain in confidence so you can do it again.

Let me know when was the last time you have taken risks and what was your reward?

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

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13 Signs That You Are A Trailblazing Leader

Pioneering or trailblazing leaders are the firsts to do anything in any field.

Indeed, they initiate, innovate, explore and thrive in uncharted territory. They face obstacles before anyone else.

Furthermore, they are always learning, growing and getting out of their comfort zones.

Needless to say, the job of the pioneering or trailblazing leader is hard. 

Wondering what makes you a trailblazing leader?

13 Signs That You Are A Trailblazing Leader

13 Signs That You Are A Trailblazing Leader

Being a pioneer or trailblazer requires courage, grit, commitment and responsibility.

#1. You have a clear vision

You have a clear vision for your future.

Your vision is a dream that encompasses their values and morals, that seems unrealistic but that is yet anchored in reality, that is ingrained in your DNA.

You are confident about it and you can communicate it easily.

You aim to build a company culture that promotes curiosity, imagination and brainstorming.

However, you do not need to have a clear step by step plan.

In addition, you are always frustrated because your reality doesn’t match your vision. Your progress doesn’t seem enough and you believe that you can be better, do better, do more and do faster.

#2. You know your worth

You are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, of your limitations and your uniqueness.

You value your originality and you hate imitating others.

You don’t try to blend in because you understand your value resides in standing out.

#3. You are pathologically curious

You are eager to learn and cannot stop asking questions.

Without fearing repercussions, you ask questions that no one has never asked before.

You understand that the possibilities are endless and you are never done exploring them.

You experiment with things that excite or scare you. By facing your fears, you evolve and learn important information about yourself.

#4. You embrace change

You embrace change and innovation. Matter of fact, you love to lead in tumultuous waters, you are the first to say or do anything and you adapt easily to change.

Great leaders know that they have to embrace change in order to stay competitive and relevant.

Moreover, you see life as an adventure. For example, you are unafraid of uprooting and moving to a strange place.

You love experimenting, taking risks and can’t stand routine.

You enjoy trying new thing and seeing what will happen next.

#5. You are creative

You are creative and your need to create overpowers all your fears.

You can’t help that you:

  1. Require creative freedom.
  2. Are entirely consumed by your creations.
  3. Care more about the content than the format.
  4. Care more about creating than being right or clever.
  5. Care more about creating or innovating than selling or introducing it to the world.

#6. You need freedom

Your freedom means everything to you.

You hate structure, rules, paperwork because you believe that all these are processes stifle your creativity, delay your pioneering moves and slow you down.

#7. You challenge the status quo

You are unpredictable. Your forward-thinking disrupts, challenges the status quo and pushes people out of their comfort zone.

Consequently, your presence and your perspectives make people uncomfortable.

You wish that they can see what you see and understand what you believe in.

#8. You attract the right people

You love to explore and to meet new people.

A trailblazing leader goes first and leads by example. By going first, you will attract the right type of followers and you will be able to feed from their energy to keep pursuing your vision.

At the end, you will build a team that is unconventional but has the right skills to reach your vision.

#9. You take self-motivated action

You constantly take action and need to move forward.

Indeed, you are always on the move, looking for the next new thing. You are always looking for new opportunities.

Furthermore, you are self-motivated. You do not need someone to encourage you or push you towards your goals.

You are goal-oriented: you have a tendency to focus on your vision and unfortunately forget your relationships.

However, with your actions, you will inspire others to take action.

#10. You are resilient

You are persistent and resilient. You see challenges as opportunities and courageously face adversity.

You are also committed to your vision and are willing to see a problem through.

By now, You have thick skin because people have tried to shut you down so many times.

Do not fear the winds of adversity. Remember, a kite rises against the wind rather than with it.” - Winston S. Churchill Click To Tweet

#11. You are solution-oriented

Because you usually blaze a trail, you have become resourceful and solution-oriented.

You are able to make quick decisions and bring new solutions to your organization by solely relying on your gut for the next direction to take.

In addition, you are able to find different solutions to one problem because you are confident about the future.

#12. You are optimistic

You stay positive as a life and leadership strategy.

You are optimistic and excited about all the possible positive outcomes.

Furthermore, you don’t complain. You understand that life is made of ups and downs, that complaining amplifies the issues and weighs you down.

#13. Your work ethic is unheard of

You have a strong work ethic.

You believe that if you put the work in, your vision will come to life.

You are committed to your vision and have laser focus.

Last Words Of Advice!

Remember, most people will feel uncomfortable in your presence because you question their reality and their systems of belief.

It becomes critical to remember who you are and what you stand for.

It becomes detrimental to be patient with people, to stand alone than to stand in the midst of people who group-think.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

13 Signs You Are Meant To Be A Leader

Sometimes, our circumstances don’t match our inner thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. Sometimes, we haven’t figured out who we are yet and we are leaning into other people’s expectations of us.

Sometimes, we believe that our personality will be rejected when it is our character that counts. Other times, we notice that one type of leadership is thriving and don’t believe that we can level up.

So, this is written as a reminder to those who doubt themselves and who are actually meant to be leaders.

Wondering whether or not you are meant to be a leader?

13 Signs You Are Meant To Be A Leader

Western society promotes bad leadership in corporate organizations. It seems that “evil leaders” win and appear smarter and more successful than “good leaders”. Though these organizations function well and get results, they become more and more toxic to work in.

These organizations have to subsequently provide trainings and team building exercises to counter the effect of negative leadership.

What we need are effective leaders with great character. Most people want the title, the power but don’t have the character, the values or the attitude.

You are definitively meant to be a leader if…

#1. People naturally gravitate to you and ask you for your advice

Have you been standing in the streets, people come up to you for direction? In the grocery isles, people ask you for products? At work, people ask you for help on their project that you know nothing about?

People ask you for advice everywhere you go. That is because you seem approachable, like you have the answers to their problems and like you will not retain any information.

#2. You have a clear vision and a direction for your future

You have a vision for your future and you have the conviction that your dreams will come through. You dream so big that your dreams seem almost impossible.

Sometimes, you may not know what you are doing but you sure know where you are going.

Also, you may not be able to immediately put your vision into action but you are sure that it’ll come through, you know how to apply yourself, you know how to trust your gut and to put your best foot forward, and you know how to find the people to help you achieve your goals.

#3. Your character is remarkable

You have outstanding character and people model their behaviors on yours.

This means that you are self-disciplined, you stand up for what is right, you walk with integrity, you are slow to anger and demonstrate patience.

Furthermore, you have a strong moral compass. Even under pressure, you have to do what is right so you can respect yourself, love yourself and sleep at night.

#4. You love to learn

You are eager to learn, to explore and innovate. As a matter of fact, you ask tones of questions and you are an ever evolving being.

You have learnt from your employees, from bad leadership and from good mentors.

In addition, you don’t retain information, you are able to speak frankly and openly.

#5. You see people strengths and weaknesses

You see people strengths and weaknesses and you place them in the areas of their strengths.

Indeed, when you are a leader, you see people for who they really are and for what they can bring, you don’t make assumptions.

On the same occasion, you know where your strengths lie, where they will be complementary and where your weaknesses would hold people back.

Finally, you surround yourself with people who make you better and who complete you.

#6. You follow your own rules

You beat to the sound of your own drums. You don’t follow social rules and you think outside the box.

You don’t care about what people have to say about you, you go after what you want, indifferently to social expectations, to your circumstances and to stereotypes.

#7. You are a problem solver

You understand that there are several ways of doing one thing. With you as a leader, people are most likely to take risks, to innovate and are less afraid of making mistakes.

You have a lot of life experience, you find solutions to problems by asking people or by experience. Good or bad, you are grateful for your experiences and you are now wiser.

#8. You are resilient

You hurt like everybody else, you feel people pain but you are capable of withstanding adversity and of recovering quickly. In other words, you can take a licking keep on ticking.

#9. You are an equal opportunity leader

You treat everyone the same: you believe in fairness, equality and in equity.

You don’t make assumptions about people and their behavior.

#10. You are a people person

You are a people person: you build great relationships, motivate people to be better and to do better.

Furthermore, you don’t assume power or influence over people. You just lead when it is needed, show appreciation for people and you don’t hug the spotlight.

At last, you do not let negative energy permeate into your life and you leave your emotions at the door.

#11. You like to help

You like helping people, giving  them the information that they need to succeed, even if they didn’t ask for help.

In your opinion, helping people is incredibly gratifying. You don’t do it for them to like you. You did it because you were needed and because you want the project to move forward.

And, you are humble enough to ask for help.

#12. You are innovative

You are constantly dissatisfied with the current system. That is why, you love innovation and you inspire others to innovate.

#13. You are cognizant of office politics

You know everything that is happening in your office and you know everyone by name.

However, you don’t judge your employees, blame them for their mistakes or gossip about your employees with your own employees.

You notice those who need training, those who hate their job, those who outperform, and those who underperform.

Basically, you understand office politics.

Last Words Of Advice!

Mots of the time, people and parents, even with the best intentions, want to direct your life. Then, we listen and achieve what people expect of us.

A leader, recognizing the value of people close to him or her, taking into account the opinions of others, recognizes that their own dreams supercede all that.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The 5 Second Rule By Mel Robbins

The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins is a self-help book, urging people to take action by using a 5 second countdown trick.

What is The 5 Second Rule?

The 5 Second Rule is a “metacognition technique” that improves your sense of self, your life, career, health.

The principle of The 5 Second Rule is the following:

“The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.” At 1, you should be moving.

The 5 Second Rule By Mel Robbins

Where does The 5 Second Rule come from?

The principle of The 5 Second Rule comes from the combination of two thoughts:

  • Mel Robbins, while feeling she failed at life, realized that she would take only 5 seconds to talk herself out of waking up in the morning, out of improving and doing the right thing.
  • One night, while watching TV, Mel Robbins also made the observation that a rocket launches after a 5 second countdown. Afterwards, she would launch herself out of bed, the same way the rocket would launch into space.

What are the benefits of The 5 Second Rule?

The 5 Second Rule is an empowering thought process. Through this principle, you are able to experience freedom and quiet your mind.

The 5 Second Rule enables you to trust your instincts, to take back control of your life, to make the right decisions.

Among its various applications, you will have the ability to improve your health, focus on the essentials, increase your productivity, break procrastination, avoid distractions, be authentic, replace your bad habits with good ones, get up early and start your routine early in the morning.

The 5 Second Rule is a tool that drives courage in difficult times and builds “Real Confidence”. It pushes you to act and to change.

What about courage?

According to Mel Robbins, when trying to change, when facing something that is uncertain, unknown, that scares you or makes you hesitate, your brain feels like something is wrong.

Your mind will then stop the change process and trap you with your own thoughts.

Courage, your birthright, is therefore required to push you forward and to implement change.

The 5 Second Rule will give you the courage you need to go after what you really want, to have a more fulfilling life and to not give in to your fears.

In addition, it is detrimental for you to stop making excuses for not acting on your instincts. Your excuses are always wrong and there is no right time.

No external factor will validate your choices and your ideas. Only putting yourself out there and getting out your comfort zone will.

What about confidence?

Confidence is a skill which means it is a learnt behavior. In fact, your confidence has nothing to do with your personality and will increase every time you step out of your comfort zone.

Your everyday courage will help you assess your own worth, build up your confidence, connect with yourself, find your true passion, build meaningful relationships, and meet new people.

Your everyday courage gives you the confidence to explore and makes you realize that the power you need was inside of you all along.

Review

In appearance, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins, looks like a time management book that provides quick short-term fixes.

However, in reality, The 5 Second Rule is a transformational tool, delivering long-term results.

It is written for people who are plagued by fear, who want to change and take charge of their lives but don’t know how to. Change is difficult because it requires courage and confidence.

Furthermore, The 5 Second Rule can be customized to your liking. It enables you to:

  • Work on your confidence and your courage.
  • Stop overthinking, worrying and magnifying problems.
  • Trust your guts and honor your instincts.
  • Stop hesitating and holding yourself back.
  • Become more present and acquire patience.
  • Start performing and to become more goal-oriented.
  • Control your emotions, fight mental illnesses and bad mental habits.
  • Take ownership of your life and start the transformation process.

The 5 Second Rule is a principle that we already intuitively and intrinsically know. But, after years of research, Mel Robbins coherently put these ideas together.

Mel Robbins also shares poignant quotes, real examples and testimonials of people who have used The 5 Second Rule for diverse reasons.

The 5 Second Rule is life changing, encouraging, motivational and inspirational. It shows you how to change for the better.

Favorite quote(s)

That’s what you are doing when you use the Rule. You are honoring yourself. You are championing your ideas. And each time you use it, you take one step closer to being the person you are truly meant to be.

Doing the work to improve your life is simple, you can do it, and it’s work you want to do—because it’s the most important work that there is. It is the work of learning how to love and trust yourself enough to stop waiting and to start leaning into all the magic, opportunity, and joy that your life, work, and relationships have to offer.

When it comes to goals, dreams, and changing your life, your inner wisdom is a genius. Your goal-related impulses, urges, and instincts are there to guide you. You need to learn to bet on them.

The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins

MEET THE AUTHOR

Mel Robbins is a motivational and keynote speaker. Mel Robbins is also the author of The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage.

30 Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves

Being a great leader depends on how well they know themselves. Leaders must make sure that they are self-aware, clearly communicate their goals and expectations, reach their goals, set high standards, expect quality work and meet deadlines, demonstrate that all their team members matter, show gratitude, don’t settle and spend time with their team.

Needless to say, a little introspection is required from time to time.

Wondering how do you become the best version of yourself? 

30 Questions Every Leader Should Ask Themselves

Sometimes, we end up in or go after leadership positions but don’t understand why or how we got there.

It is always important to assess our goals, values and purpose every step of the way.

1) What does leadership mean to you?

Leadership encapsulates different concepts and key competencies.

For most, leadership is the ability to wheel power, to influence people positively in order to be successful, to bring like-minded individuals together towards a common goal or vision and to translate that vision into reality.

In order to be effective you must figure out what leadership means to you.

2) Why do you want to be a leader? What is your purpose in life?

Most people want to lead because they see themselves in power, in control, with status and doing whatever they want.

However, leaders are always held accountable for their actions, have to serve as models and have to exhibit exemplary behavior.

Without an ethical purpose in mind, they will not be able to sustain their role very long.

If you weren’t a leader, what would you do? What career would you pursue?

3) What are your strengths and weaknesses? 

Do you have sufficient resources to achieve your goals and yourself?

Leaders must find at least one field in which they excel. This will develop their credibility, their confidence and will help you be of assistance to people in need.

4) What are your core values? 

If your leadership roles don’t correspond to your values, it is time to rethink your career.

5) How do you center yourself? 

Learning to center yourself, to choose peace of mind requires that you acquire new healthy habits and that you question your thoughts that most often are an illusion or distorted memories.

Figure out how to preserve your time and energy, how to ensure your growth, how to continually improve as a person, and how to boost your leadership self-esteem?

6) Can you grow within your role and responsibilities?

Some people get into positions to please their families, impress their friends or flatter their own egos.

A job or a role in which you feel boxed in is frustrating, leaves little space for you to develop your skills or maximize your strengths.

7) How do you wish to impact the world and the people around you?

As a leader, you must project yourself in the future and visualize the legacy that you want to leave.

8) Do you walk the talk? 

Integrity is currently a rare character trait and most sought after leadership attribute that can help you succeed in the workplace as much as in life.

It actually goes a long way and projects more authority and credibility than a title or a position would.

Furthermore, the team you lead, the environment that you work in is a direct reflection of you. If you want a trusting workplace, be trustworthy.

9) Are you open to learn?

Being open to learn and to explore is detrimental to success.

To start the learning process, you can read books, take trainings and classes, and talk to people who are in positions that you aspire to.

Furthermore, you must understand that if you seek knowledge, you will never fully be an expert.

10) Are you developing a healthy work life balance?

Creating work-life balance is not giving equal attention to both work and life.

But, it means that you are satisfied with your contributions to your life and work, that you are able to create a sustainable synergy between both so that you are fueled by them on a daily basis.

To do so, you must focus on the vital few and not let your career affect your personal life and vice versa.

11) Are you self-interested or committed to the collective good?

We choose a certain career because our ever-changing needs and desires align with that particular career but not necessarily with the collective good.

In the leadership position, there is a huge discrepancy between hiring the right person with the right competencies for the job, between hiring someone with lesser competencies to feel unthreatened, between hiring someone to serve you and caress your ego.

There is also a difference between wanting the organization to succeed, wanting the team and the project to shine, and taking all the credit for someone else’s work.

12) What is your favorite leadership style

Leadership style refers to the way that the leader interacts with his or her employees, influences their behavior, motivates them, make decisions for them and for the organization.

A specific leadership style can deeply influence the quality of work, the levels of commitment, the work satisfaction of both leader and employees.

13) Are you emotionally intelligent?

We cannot control everything in our life.

However, we can control how we react to different situations, how we see ourselves and who we aspire to be.

14) Are you able to solve conflicts effectively?

Leaders must be able to anticipate problems and implement solutions for the future. What strategies do you apply? How do you handle bad news? How do you set boundaries? Do you encourage dissension?

15) Do you have interpersonal skills?

There are several components to leadership. One of them is building and maintaining healthy relationships.

Leaders are responsible for the people they hire and the people that they lead. How do you build your team?

16) Are you culturally sensitive? 

Cultural sensitivity is being aware that everyone is different.

It means being able to learn from different people, to understand their backgrounds, to collaborate and cooperate with them, without being judgmental.

17) When have you failed, how have you recovered yourself and what have you learned about yourself then? 

Failures don’t directly lead to success but it can show you the way. It is best when your mistakes come to light rather than going unnoticed.

18) What are your greatest achievements as a leader and as a follower?

It is important to recall the time you have succeeded and demonstrated great leadership.

The memory of past success will serve you right when you face challenges. If you did it once, then you can do it again.

19) Are you able to direct someone else towards success? 

Mentorship is usually the realization of leadership.

It is similar to tutorship, to parenthood, to partnership, or to an alliance.

20) Are you able to delegate?

Delegating increases employee empowerment and talent engagement, leads to higher levels of commitment, innovationmotivation, and better relationships..

21) Are you able to perform under pressure?

As a leader, your behavior in pressure moments impacts those around you and can predict their performance.

22) How do you solve problems and make sound decisions?

The ability to anticipate, to solve problems, to make quick and sound decisions will determine the success of a leader.

23) How do you motivate others? Can you communicate your visions successfully?

Effective communication skills will improve your leadership credibility, your self-confidence, your relationships with others, your feelings of belonging and will decrease your stress level.

Your communication skills will also drive change and increase team motivation.

Using those skills, leaders should be pushing a vision for their life, for their family or their organization and it shouldn’t matter whether they have the right relationships, enough money, enough favors, or have hired people with the desired skill set.

24) Are you organized and can you meet deadlines?

Leaders don’t have the luxury to procrastinate because it is similar to self-sabotage. However, they are all subject to it to some extent.

Being organized, methodical, pragmatic will help you gain a sense of satisfaction and will increase your chances of success.

25) Who do you look up to?

It is critical to have a role model who will help you improve, achieve your goals and will show you your life purpose.

Your role model is authentic, relatable and can be a family member, a friend in your entourage or someone you barely know.

26) Can you handle change?

Change is a part of life, is a constant and is inevitable. Change shakes things up, disrupts old habits, breathes new life into the workplace and into any project.

Leaders must visibly act out the change, must be ready to do things differently and to think otherwise.

27) What do you hate the most and will not stand for?

You can’t always find out what you like but life has a funny way of putting you in front of the things that you hate the most.

28) Can you accept criticism from others?

Accepting criticism implies that you are able to listen, accept people point of view and give feedback as well.

29) Are you becoming too complacent?

30) What do you want to improve on?

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Daring Greatly By Brené Brown

In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown explains the reasons why we are afraid of being vulnerable, the different ways we protect ourselves from vulnerability, and how to become more vulnerable in our society.

Daring Greatly means being vulnerable, being engaged, being exposed and avoiding being perfect.

Daring Greatly By Brené Brown

A Narcissistic Society

Many researchers have shown that the American culture has turned into a narcissistic influenced culture, a culture of scarcity, a culture where people put themselves first, think that they are special, are always connected to social media, go after money and power, chase beauty and other vanity, compare themselves, are disengaged and concerned with the idea of lacking.

Instead of putting sown narcissistic people and showing them that they are not special, it is better to seek understanding and find the root of the problem.

Being narcissistic stems from a feeling of not being enough and of being ordinary.

Vulnerability & The Feeling Of Not Being Enough

The feeling of not being enough brings about shame and stops us from being vulnerable. Shame is a universal emotion, is corrosive, “keeps us small, resentful and afraid”.

Furthermore, we become disengaged when we are too afraid to be vulnerable, when we are ashamed, when we lack purpose, when a social contract is not met.

It is critical to speak out on your shame, to be self-aware, to know your self-worth, to ask and receive feedback because knowing your worth will help you become more vulnerable.

To eradicate the feeling of shame:

  • Identify your shame triggers.
  • Observe your self talk.
  • Practice authenticity.
  • Accept your experiences.
  • Share your experience, be vulnerable with someone who genuinely cares about you.

Common Misconceptions About Vulnerability

We are thought not to be vulnerable, not to show our emotions, to look down on those who do. There are several misconceptions when it comes to vulnerability.

Misconception #1: “Vulnerability is weakness”

The reality is vulnerability is not a weakness, is not good or bad. Vulnerable is the origin of all emotions. It therefore becomes important to acknowledge your vulnerability.

Besides, the people who think that they are impenetrable are in fact the most vulnerable.

Misconception #2: “I don’t do vulnerability”

Vulnerability is unavoidable. When we try to avoid it, we often exhibit unusual inconsistent behaviors.

Misconception #3: Vulnerability is letting it all hang out”

You cannot be vulnerable with everyone. It is important to build trust and boundaries before being vulnerable. Otherwise, more times than ever, you will end up getting betrayed and hurt.

Misconception #4: “We can go it alone”

Individualism and going it alone are highly regarded in American culture. In this case, it is essential to construct a support system, to ask for and receive help

Shame As A Management Tool

Most of the time, shame and the blame game are used as management tool, yet is ineffective.

Subsequently, the situations that we face on a daily basis, in the education system, in the workplace, force us to keep our head down and our mouth shut which doesn’t encourage innovation, creativity or the learning process.

Vulnerability & Protective Mechanism

Our protective mechanisms are survival strategies, used to shield our vulnerability. Those shields can go from foreboding joy, to perfectionism to numbing down your emotions.

To avoid shielding vulnerability, it is critical to:

  • Practice gratitude.
  • Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Confront your emotions.
  • Live a more fulfilling life and feed your spirit.
  • Focus your time and energy on the essentials.
  • Consider how your behavior affect those around you.

Shield #1: Victim mentality

Some people go through life with a victim or perpetrator, win or lose mentally and subsequently fall into one of these categories.

Surprisingly, the people who have been through the most trauma, demonstrate the most resilience. And, people who don’t feel like victims or perpetrators, see themselves as thrivers.

Shield #2: “Floodlighting”

Floodlighting is essentially oversharing and stems from a need for confirmation and validation.

We have to be careful not to share vulnerable stories too soon with people who have not earned the right to hear them. The people on the receiving end often shut down, lack empathy or feel disconnected.

Shield #3: “The smash and grab”

With this shield, some people use vulnerability as a manipulation, sensationalizing tactic that is common in celebrity culture, as an attention seeking tool.

Shield #4: “Serpentining”

Serpentining is a draining and an avoidance behavior. It happens when people are not facing a situation head on for fear of being vulnerable, of not being present.

Shield #5: Mean-spiritedness

In this case, people use criticism, cynicism and mean-spiritedness to protect themselves. They are mean to people who dare demonstrate vulnerability.

Review

Daring Greatly is essential to leadership, parenting, relationships, finding your purpose and your passion.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown gives insight into the corporate and the western culture where being vulnerable equals being weak and lets you open to different attacks.

Through Daring Greatly, Brown has gathered data from people from different walks of life so we can somewhat self diagnose and become more aware of some of our toxic behavior.

Brené Brown makes some pertinent point and writes exactly like she speaks. Furthermore, Brown is very open and authentic, shares her anecdotes, fears and doubt. For example, she is vulnerable with us, mindful of the stories to share, lets us into her conversations with her therapist.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

Favorite quote(s)

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.

Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying. Researchers don’t find shame correlated with positive outcomes at all—there are no data to support that shame is a helpful compass for good behavior. In fact, shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and
hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.

Much of the beauty of light owes its existence to the dark. The most powerful moments of our lives happen when we string together the small flickers of light created by courage, compassion, and connection and see them shine in the darkness of our struggles.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Brené Brown