Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact By Phil M. Jones

Most people don’t share their ideas or go after what they truly want because they are afraid of rejection and don’t know how to use the right words at the right time…

Below are 23 magical phrases that will get you to start conversations, share ideas, influence people, assist people in taking decisions and achieve personal success.

Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact By Phil M. Jones #book #books #bookreviews #influence #impact #,negotiation #negotiationskills https://journeytoleadershipblog.com

1. “I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But”

This phrase is an opening statement, used to introduce a person, an idea, product or service, to remove pressure and to spike interest without going through rejection.

2. “How Open-Minded Are You?”

In general, people love to think of themselves as open-minded. Everybody wants to be open-minded.
Before making any statement, asking people whether or not they are open-minded allows you to introduce new ideas, gain their support, and having them agree with you.

3. “What Do You Know?”

When sharing ideas, some people feel the need to be right or demonstrate that they know best. By finding out what the other person knows before sharing your knowledge, this statement helps you overcome preconceptions, avoid debates and arguments when trying to share new concepts.

4. “How Would You Feel If?”

“How Would You Feel If?” allows you to understand what motivates people and what emotions trigger their decision making process.

The truth is that emotions and motivation tactics are used in all “areas of negotiation, influence and persuasion”.
Indeed, motivation is a reason to step into action and emotions are reason enough to make a decision.
Used effectively, motivation and emotions can be used to make people step into action.

5. “Just Imagine”

“Just Imagine” is employed to use people’s creative mind, to prop people into action by setting a powerful preface and to bring a decision into reality.

People tend to imagine the outcome of a decision in their mind before actually implementing that decision in reality.
That is why sharing a story before asking someone to make a decision is helpful and creates a picture in the mind of the other person.

6. “When Would Be a Good Time?”

This phrase prevents people from telling you that they don’t have the time to listen to you and subconsciously sets the idea that their will be a good time for you to make your point.

7. “I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To”

“I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To” is used when you want to indirectly ask someone whether or not they have gotten the time to do what you asked.

“I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To” allows the other person to feel proud if they have accomplished what you have asked for or it allows them to save face and it gives them the opportunity to step up to the plate.

8. Simple swaps

Asking open-ended questions instead of closed ended questions is more effective for conversation-making.

9. “You Have Three Options”

Presenting people with three options reduces their choices and subsequently helps them through the decision-making process.

10. “There are two types of people in this world”

“There are two types of people in this world” is a sentence that assists people in making up their minds by making wonder what kind of people they actually are, by reducing their choices and allowing them to choose.

11. “I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me”

“I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me” is an opening statement that gets people to quickly agree with you.

12. “If… Then”

“If you don’t do this, then this will happen!” are conditional statements that we have heard since childhood, that most people still believe in and that will guarantee an outcome.

13. “Don’t Worry”

This phrase helps in keeping a highly stressful situation under control and improve someone else’s level of anxiety.

14. “Most People”

Putting “Most People” in front of any sentence, when making a case, makes people feel confident about their decisions.

15. “The Good News”

“The Good News” puts a positive spin on a negative situation and shifts people’s perspective.

16. “What Happens Next”

This statement explains the next stages of the interaction and leads the conversation towards a conclusion.

17. “What Makes You Say That?”

“What Makes You Say That?” maintains control over the conversation, allows the other person to openly express their objections and make a decision.

18. “Before You Make Your Mind Up”

The phrase “Before You Make Your Mind Up” is useful to make someone change their minds, switch their refusal to a potential agreement.

19. “If I Can, Will You?”

Some people find excuses or reasons why they cannot go along with the suggested idea.
Asking “If I can do this for you, will you do this for me?” opens the door for more agreement.

20. “Enough”

Finding out what someone else considers to be enough can encourage them to agree with you or your concept.

21. “Just One More Thing”

The words “Just One More Thing” allow the continuation of the conversation and the introduction of an alternative idea.

22. “A Favor”

People secretly wish that someone would do them a favor and make their lives easier.
Therefore, when someone ask them for a favor, people oftentimes commit to the task at hand or tend to agree with the idea.

23. “Just Out of Curiosity”

“Just Out of Curiosity” provides clarity on the other person’s thought process.

Review

In Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact, after years of studies, Phil M. Jones shares the chosen words that are able to create results, help influence and direct conversation. These 23 magical phrases could be used personally and professionally, in all areas of leadership, negotiation, and sales.

This book is recommended for people who:

  • Regularly speak for a living, who want to change the way they speak and are serious about their personal success.
  • Want to know what to say, how to say it and to whom in every situation.
  • Always wish to be prepared for almost every conversation.

Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact by Phil M. Jones is a demonstration of the power or words and the reason why they have to be used carefully.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to make decisions without overanalyzing them.

Success in life and business is rarely achieved without the support of others. If you can do things that allow other people to help you achieve your goals, then the chances of you reaching them significantly increase.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Phil M. Jones

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How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie

For some reason, successful leaders seem to know how to effectively handle people, to win friends and to influence people…

These leaders have built their entire life and professional career around people by following basic principles.

How to Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie #book #bookreview #bookreviews #reviews #influence #relationships #leadership #leadershipdevelopment #businessworld journeytoleadershipblog.com

Wining Friends

Leaders understand that relationships can take you to the next level. Therefore, they tend to:

1. Avoid negative reviews

Leaders who are socially skilled avoid making complaints, condemning people, or manufacturing open and public criticism.

They understand that negative criticism generally breeds resentment.

Instead, they try to understand where the people are coming from.

2. Find out what the people really want

Most people care about their health, self-preservation, food, sleep, money, a craving for sincere appreciation and a desire for importance…

Furthermore, appreciation does not consist in giving cheap flattery but in honest appreciation.

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. - Dale Carnegie Click To Tweet

3. Show people how to get what they want

To show people what they want and how to get it, leaders:

  • Consider the advantages and disadvantages of the situation.
  • Learn to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Influencing People

Influencing people is a basic and important skill in leadership.

That is why leaders who seek to increase their leadership:

1. Genuinely become interested in other people

They understand human nature, truly enjoy the interaction with people and do things for other people without any ulterior motives.

In addition, they remember people’s name, learn to smile and to be cheerful in their presence.

Indeed, smiling is contagious and can change an entire situation.

2. Become versed in the art of conversation

Being a great conversationalist starts by listening to people and encouraging people to talk about themselves.

Therefore, leaders find out the other person’s interest and start from there.

3. Obey the Golden Rule

Leaders observe the rules of human relationships.

As a consequence, they obey the Golden Rule and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.

4. Use diplomacy

To win people over to your way of thinking, they:

  • Are diplomatic.
  • Avoid arguments at all cost.
  • Never tell a person that they are wrong.
  • Consider the other person’s feelings, ideas and point of view.
  • Show respect for another person’s point of view.
  • Admit their wrongs and appeal to nobler motives.
  • Admit their mistakes and talk about them.
  • Don’t give direct orders but suggestions.
  • Give people the opportunity to make decisions for themselves and to correct themselves.
  • Don’t hurt people’s self-esteem and don’t diminish them in their own eyes

Review

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie aims to educate adults into building healthy relationships and climbing up the social ladder.

Dale Carnegie shares contemporaneous and pragmatic principles that serve as guidelines for leaders who wish to network and grow their social capital.

Most of these principles are essential to life as much as the business world and will increase your skill in human relationship.

However, Dale Carnegie promotes the praising or “sucking up” game and uses the term “friend” very loosely.

That is because most of the principles are geared towards the business world and most of his examples are taken from people who have successfully implemented these principles.

Unfortunately, praises don’t work on everybody and is not a solution to all problems.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Dale Carnegie

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The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow By John C. Maxwell

According to John C. Maxwell, there are 21 irrefutable laws of leadership that every leader should hold on to.

The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow By John C. Maxwell #books #bookreviews #leadership #leadershipskills #leadershipbooks #selfimprovement #selfawareness

1. The law of the lid

Your ability to lead determines your effectiveness, the height of your success, the limit of your vision, the impact of your influence.

To overcome the law of the lid, you have to increase your ability to lead.

2. The law of influence

Influence is an important part of leadership.

You have to put in work to gain influence. It is not about a title or a leadership position and cannot be bought.

With influence, you can rally people to a cause, move people in a new direction, and you can win people over on the long run.

3. The law of process

Leadership is a lifelong process.

LEADERSHIP IS DEVELOPED DAILY, NOT IN A DAY. - John C. Maxwell in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership Click To Tweet

Leadership is a collection of skills that need continual improvement, personal growth and learning.

Leadership requires a lot of self discipline and determination. It is important for leaders to open themselves up for improvement to start slow and fight their way up.

4. The law of navigation

Leaders need to effectively navigate their way through life, while knowing people are depending on them.

In order to give themselves the best chances at success, they:

  • Are realistic.
  • Have to stay focused and in control.
  • Have a solid vision for their destination.
  • Have enough visibility to change course in time if they want to.
  • Draw their itinerary from their past failures and successes.
  • Listen to what their team has to say.
  • Don’t make commitments lightly.
  • Plan the course of their action.

5. The law of E. F. Hutton

Leaders become real leaders thanks to their character, relationships, knowledge, experience, past successes and abilities. People will not follow you because of your position.

The law of E. F. Hutton helps you figure out who the real leader in the room really is. To find the real leader, observe the reaction of the people in the room when the real leader speaks.

6. The law of solid ground

Leaders must communicate their character, exemplify their behavior, maintain their credibility and avoid breaking the trust of their followers.

When leaders make a mistake, they must quickly admit it and ask for forgiveness.

7. The law of respect

Leaders who are stronger and better leaders than their followers tend to gain respect.

8. The law of intuition

The law of intuition is a complex part of leadership, relies on instinct, facts and other factors.

Leaders who work with the law of intuition are able to sense a situation, to read people and themselves, to use their intuition to achieve their goals and to solve problems.

9. The law of magnetism

The law of magnetism states that who you are is who you attract.

Leaders who follow this law are able to attract the people who possess the same qualities as they do.

They attract people with same attitude, from the same generation and background, with the same values, life experiences and abilities.

Character makes trust possible. And trust makes leadership possible. - John C. Maxwell in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership Click To Tweet

10. The law of connection

Leaders who observe this law touch people emotionally, know how to communicate with people, connect with them and show that they care.

The more leaders work on the connection with their employees, the more employees are loyal and demonstrate a strong work ethic.

11. The law of the inner circle

The people in the leader’s inner circle will determine the leader’s potential.

Leaders understand that they cannot be a lone ranger and acknowledge the purpose and strengths of the inner circle.

12. The law of empowerment

Successful and secure leaders empower and believe in their team.

Those who don’t create a barrier that their employees cannot overcome.

13. The law of reproduction

The law of reproduction works in a way where only leaders are capable of developing leaders and by teaching them what they know.

Some leaders don’t develop other leaders because they don’t have time or because of their own insecurities.

14. The law of buy in

People buy into leaders who have a vision.

If they don’t like the leader or the vision, they get another leader.

If the leader is credible, then people believe that the vision is credible as well.

15. The law of victory

Leaders who observe this law refuse defeat, dedicate themselves to victory and find a way to achieve success.

16. The law of the big mo

Leaders understand that to create change they need to create momentum.

Momentum is contagious, improves performance and makes the leader look good.

17. The law of priorities

Leaders spend their time prioritizing and recognize that doing more does not equate success.

They use the Pareto principle and the three Rs( requirement, return, reward).

18. The law of sacrifice

Sometimes, leaders have to sacrifice themselves to succeed and to gain opportunities.

The higher you go up on the ladder, the more you have to sacrifice.

19. The law of timing

Successful leaders read situations, recognize when to lead and when to take the right action at the right time.

20. The law of explosive growth

Potential leaders are hard to find and to attract but leaders who develop other leaders multiply growth within their organization.

21. The law of legacy

Leaders who leave a legacy lead with tomorrow in mind, make developing other leaders as part of the culture, sacrifice for future success and pass on the torch.

Review

The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow is an easy to read leadership development book.

In The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow, John C. Maxwell makes a list of 21 laws of leadership to help people better themselves and their organization.

These laws are the universal foundation for every area of your life. They can be learnt, be in standalone, have serious consequences, be practiced on a daily basis.

Maxwell has spent most of his life in leadership position. So, he entertains us with uncommon, historical and adventurous examples that everyone can relate to.

Finally, he encourages leaders to learn and go apply what they learnt.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Leadership is complicated. It has many facets: respect, experience, emotional strength, people skills, discipline, vision, momentum, timing—the list goes on. As you can see, many factors that come into play in leadership are intangible. That’s why leaders require so much seasoning to be effective.

The good news is that your leadership ability is not static. No matter where you’re starting from, you can get better.

The leader finds the dream and then the people. The people find the leader, and then the dream.

MANY PEOPLE TODAY WANT TO CLIMB UP THE CORPORATE LADDER BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THAT FREEDOM AND POWER ARE THE PRIZES WAITING AT THE TOP. THEY DON’T REALIZE THAT THE TRUE NATURE OF LEADERSHIP IS REALLY SACRIFICE.

Ratings 4/5

Author

John C. Maxwell

7 Pragmatic Principles Of Office Politics

There are laws and principles that govern the workplace. We can either ignore them, acknowledge them or abide by them.

These laws and principles are the most visible when someone has been promoted, is moving forward or a new boss is in town. Some appear to be jealous, some try to quickly affiliate with the winner, to show their allegiance. Others are quick to sabotage and to compete.

I am not one to willingly participate in office politics. However, in my opinion, because knowledge is power, the best way to avoid politics is to know the rules. I like to know what is happening, how to read a room, to always be aware of my behavior, and to prepare myself for what is coming.

This advice is also valuable for minorities who encounters western group think in the office, who need to be realistic about their situations and want to understand how to advance themselves, how to protect themselves.

Wondering how to navigate office politics and whether or not you should be interested in it?

7 Pragmatic Principles Of Office Politics

What is office politics?

Office politics is a human concept and is inevitable. It is also very necessary and will go on whether your participate in it or not.

In office politics people seek power, leadership, influence and/or control of other people, more responsibility on their job.

Office politics is a particular hard skill because it requires that you control your primitive, impulsive responses to different situations and that you stay in high alert at all times.

The Perks Of Office Politics

Political animals in the office usually get what they want, to evade conflicts and sometimes create them between different individuals. Political animals:

  • Have influence. They build healthy relationships, even with toxic individuals.
  • Recognize the agendas and powers at play in any relationships.
  • Get the best projects, get promoted, get pay raise and other rewards.
  • Are trusted for their opinions.
  • Get credit for their hard work.
  • Get their career on a positive track.
  • Have the ability and the tools to deal with opposition and usually wins in a conflict.
  • Conserve their energy and focus it on worthwhile issues.
  • Avoid being blindsided or facing unpleasant outcomes.

What We Hate About Office Politics

Office politics is often badly perceived because it can be cruel, be viewed as being calculated and manipulative.

Sometimes, office politics is a dangerous and corrosive game but it is a game. It is part of human nature, a social activity, a marathon and not a sprint.

It is often used to sabotage, to manipulate, to deflect or to create a conflict between people.

Therefore, it is not for the faint of heart. Before starting, you must make sure that you are robust, are not dependent on people or other external factors, that you are emotionally detached from your work and that you can clearly separate your identity from your job.

Furthermore, keep in mind that abusing power on the long run does not lead to success.

Principle #1: Defining your purpose

Having greater goals in life will help you sustain and overcome opposition, avoid being pushed around by people or events. Your ultimate goals can be:

  • staying at a company and getting your pay check to ensure your lifestyle and to guarantee financial stability.
  • staying at a company, evolving, building healthy relationships
  • Living the company and finding better

Either way, set realistic goals, expectations for yourself. Next, stay focus on your goals, use your goals to guide your decisions and your behavior.

Principle #2: Know your strengths, weaknesses and limits

Politics and power will challenge your weaknesses.

Understanding your strengths and weaknesses will help you assess your worth, appreciate your contributions at work and determine whether or not you can run with horses. This will also help you identify them in others, understand them, maximize their potential and forgive their weaknesses.

To be effective at office politics, don’t directly demonstrate or enunciate your strengths or weaknesses. It is best to wait for the right moment to do so.

In addition, you must seek to enhance your performance, your productivity, to develop competencies that are hard to acquire or hard to replace. and to deliver great results. Then, discreetly promote your results.

Principle #3: Maintaining your leadership capabilities

It is important to learn to keep your peace and your composure at all times by seriously controlling your emotions. This demands a lot of discipline and will help you grow as a person.

Furthermore, lead by example and take care or yourself first. Great leaders have power but stay humble and don’t abuse it.

Seek understanding

To help you manage people, conflicts, to adopt the right behavior, to estimate your position and status:

  • Understand the company culture, values and principles.
  • Understand the people who you work with, estimate their boundaries and assess their attitudes.
  • Believe that hierarchy exist and is gladly enforced in the workplace. This means that you must, at some point, show deference to your “superiors”.This doesn’t mean that your “superiors” have greater character, greater skill sets or greater vision. However, no matter who you are, you won’t be able to freely speak your mind, to make your own decisions, to control your assignments.

Discipline your words and your thoughts

  • Stay away from gossip and rumors.
  • Watch what you say and how you say it.
  • Give substance to your speech.
  • Monitor your behavior at all times.

Discipline your emotions

  • Get rid of your ego and nurture your sense of humor. If you don’t know something, say so and don’t fake knowledge.
  • Don’t waste your time and energy on useless matters.
  • Keep your wits about you.
  • When someone slights you, don’t give them an emotional reaction.

Principle #4: Behave ethically

  • Remain true to your core values.
  • Don’t expect to be treated fairly.
  • Upgrade your character in order to be unimpeachable from the start. People with low or no ethics are unsuccessful in the long run.

Poor character leads to abusive, aggressive, masochistic, sadist behavior and office politics.

When I was working for a long corporation, one person in the office was being bullied. I was asked, as a team member, to participate in the bullying and to force the person to quit.

Most of my team members, for fun or for fear of retribution, would engage in toxic behavior towards this one person, put down false complaints and manufacture false rumors as well.

Without doing the same, I realized that sadistically beating down on someone, engaging in toxic behavior were not aligning with my core values and wouldn’t allow me to sleep properly at night.

To solve the solution, I simply listened to the request, spoke positively about the person, suggested to them that they had to find a better position and found a better place to work myself.

What was your ethically questionable experience?

Principle #5: Building your network and gaining influence

Networking is an important process, especially if your are shy and introverted. Who you know will determine how far you will get.

Here are some tips below that will help you be unbothered, to gain influence and build positive relationships:

  • Protect your reputation at all cost. For instance, if you make promises, live up to them.
  • Have a positive attitude. Avoid being mean or offending people for sport.
  • Act or be confident. It is important to fake it until you make it, to dress confidently and dress for success.
  • Give your best on your job and put your best foot forward. You can even become an expert in your field.
  • Empathetic ally listen to your coworkers. This way, you will get invaluable information about the environment, be solution oriented and build strong relationships.
  • Look to be respected and not to be liked.
  • Seek to integrate the group before you seek to lead it.
  • Target people who can help you achieve your goals and let them know what you bring to the table.
  • Don’t worry what people say about you, don’t gossip or spread false rumors.
  • Avoid too much flattery. You will appear weak to  your peers, will erode their respect and the respect of the higher-ups.
  • Involve people in your decision-making process.

Principle #6: Friend or Foe?

It is detrimental to discern your friends from your enemies, your confidant from your comrade, your constituents from your compatriots.

Keep in mind that:

  • Not everybody is your friend and don’t expect your “friends” to have your back.
  • It is better to have allies than to have enemies.
  • Your enemies won’t stop at anything to block you from achieving your purpose.

In conflicts or challenging situations:

  • Always seek to diffuse tension.
  • Avoid taking sides, power struggles but don’t give in to enemies or attempt to please them.
  • Mind your business and don’t take anything personally.
  • Identify the toxic behavior and the solution for it.
  • Don’t stoop to the level of the perpetrator or please the naysayers.
  • Don’t play the victim or suffer unfair treatment.
  • Ask questions rather than giving answers or have a private chat with an enemy and try to bring them to your side.
  • If you are not in position of power or are not favored at your job, accept it and move on, especially if you don’t know how to maneuver the situation.
  • If excluded from a group, don’t attempt to fit in, just join a new one or leave the place.
  • If you are being openly criticized or insulted, don’t let that affect your self-worth or your work. Agree with the perpetrator without demonstrating emotion.

Principle #7: Change

To handle office politics, one must learn to appreciate change and adapt to it.

  • Stay present, stay resilient and robust to conflicts and change, to your own emotions, to the emotions of others.
  • Learn to deal with change and quickly recover from your blows.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.