Best Self: Be You, Only Better By Mike Bayer

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer encourages people to be their Best Self.

What is your Best Self?

Your Best Self is unique, positive, evolved and aligned with your truth.

When you are being your best self, you are being your most authentic and at your core.

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How to connect with your Best Self?

Connecting with your Best Self takes time and requires patience. To get in touch with your Best Self:

  • Express gratitude frequently to get out of a negative space. Make a gratitude list of everything that puts you in a good mood or elevates you in any kind of way.
  • Embrace change. Everybody can change if they want to, they just have to apply the right motivations.
  • Identify your fears. Once you have identified your fears, put them to the test to see if your assumptions are true, if they are rational, if they help you succeed, or if they serve your best interests.
  • Recognize any signs of egotistical behavior. Once you have acknowledge your behavior, assess the origins of it and get your ego in check.

Assessing your Best Self

“SPHERES stands for Social life, Personal life, Health, Education, Relationships, Employment, and Spiritual life”.

The SPHERES tool, create by Mike Bayer, is a screening tool used to assess your Best Self in all areas of your life.

Your social life 

In the SPHERES tool, your social situation determines how well you project your Best Self to the world.

It then becomes imperative to analyze how you interact with people. You can also assess your ability to send clear messages, to listen to others, to embrace human emotions, to handle highly charged situations, to give and receive feedback.

Your personal life

Your personal life contains your self-image, your self-talk, the level of compassion and respect you have for yourself.

To create the personal life that you want, you will have to:

  • Rewire your brain to think positively by challenging your internal dialogue.
  • Get familiar with what you are constantly telling yourself.
  • Identify the messages you tell yourself when you are under pressure.
  • Log your thoughts and your self-talk, identify the common themes and tones.
  • Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of yourself and monitor your stress levels before they snowball. If you take care of yourself, you will definitely be able to take care of others.
  • Connect with your passions. Your passions will vary throughout your life. Your passions will allow you to express yourself, to strengthen your bond with your Best Self and vibrate at a higher frequency. To find your passions, explore new things, challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

Your health

Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be present, keep a clear mind and achieve your Best Self.

Your education

Remaining in a “lifetime learning mode” will help you evolve into your Best Self and become more self-aware.

Once you find your passions, you will take pleasure in acquiring knowledge in that field.

Your relationships

Your relationships reflect who you are as a person.

Your Best Self will gauge who you want to be around, judge the health of a relationship and help you make the tough decisions.

In order to stay connected to your Best Self in all relationships, you must define your core values, exercise them and identify the people who live up to them.

Your employment

We spend most of our days at work.

So, when we are not able to fully be ourselves, our work life tends to become draining.

It somehow becomes important to nurture our Best Selves at work or create a career path that allows us to maximize our potential at work.

Review

In Best Self: Be You, Only Better, Mike Bayer shares tips and tools to help you achieve your Best Self. He helps you make a diagnostic of all the aspects of your life and provides practical solutions to your problems.

Furthermore, Best Self: Be You, Only Better is a workbook that teaches you how to fix what’s inside to fix outside. It is on point when it comes to assessing people’s behavior and can conveniently be revisited several time in your life.

Best Self: Be You, Only Better is ideal for leaders who want to improve their leadership skills and bring their best selves at work. It becomes clear that if you are your best self, you can create the best teams, take care of others and create the best organization.

With this workbook:

  • Get in touch with your Best Self.
  • Reach your highest potential.
  • Find more balance in your life.
  • Evolve, change, reinvent yourself and improve your life.
  • Learn to handle adversity and crisis.
  • Discover your truth and your purpose.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Many of society’s “rules” simply don’t apply to us as individuals, and if we spend all our energy on trying to be, do, say, and act like society wants us to, we are simply wasting time we could be spending on discovering and connecting with our Best Self.

Self-care is foundational to living your ideal life.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Mike Bayer

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What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith serves as a roadmap  to help you get where you want to go in life and at work.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith helps people:

  • Get into leadership position.
  • Put your vision into action.
  • Identify and change bad habits.
  • Succeed and reach higher heights of success.
  • Understand that the same skills that got you previous success and won’t get you to the next level.

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Why is it so hard to stop a bad habit?

It is not easy for successful people to change their behavior because their past successes have acted as positive reinforcement and have solidified some of your behaviors.

Furthermore, stopping a bad behavior isn’t as rewarded as you would think but it detrimental to success.

Indeed, we don’t get as much credit for stopping something as much as starting something.

Successful people either assume that:

  • They are right and everybody else is wrong.
  • People who want them to change are confused.
  • What you think about them doesn’t matter to them.
  • Their behavior is not hindering their success.
  • Changing their behavior is not worth it.

To get people to change their behavior, it is important to have them identify what they value most and somewhat “threaten” that value.

21 Habits That Got You Here But Won’t Get You There

Some people are successful in spite of their behavior.

  • Understand that you can be successful in spite of your flaws.
  • Recognize our bad behavior.
  • Examine your behaviors to see what feelings are attached to them.
  • Avoid attacking value to the bad behavior that you associate with success.
  • Find a reason to change, an example that will act as a positive reinforcement.

Marshall Goldsmith exhibits 21 behaviors that alienate people, that you need to stop and that are simple to correct.

Habit #1. Winning too much

In the case, the urge to win is strong and is triggered in any situation, whether it matters or not.

However, the need to win can limit your success because it can destroy relationships.

Habit #2. Adding too much value

Another habit of smart people is always feeling the need to add value to every discussion, to run the show.

They need to let everybody know that they already know or that they know a better way.

The need to add value is simple a variation of the need to win.

Habit #3. Passing judgment

Passing judgement pushes people away because people do not like to be rated or critiqued.

Imposing your standards on people, approving or disapproving of people’s decision will make you seem unwelcoming and disagreeable.

Habit #4. Making destructive comments

Some people make destructive comments without thinking: they put people down, they hurt them or assert themselves as their superiors.

This habit of making hurtful and sarcastic remarks quickly erodes teamwork and cooperation.

It can stem from a habit of always being candid or from a need to sound sharp and witty.

Habit #5. Starting with “No”, “But” or “However”

Starting with “No”, “But” or “However” says that whatever the other person is saying is wrong and what you are saying is right.

The use of these negative qualifiers comes from a need to win and defend your position.

Habit #6. Telling the world how smart we are

The need to demonstrate how smart you are is a variation of the need to win, to gain people’s admiration and to communicate that you are two steps ahead of everyone else.

Habit #7. Speaking when angry

Anger can be a valuable management tool but it does not guarantee how people will react to your emotional outbursts.

However, anger is not a leadership tool. Using anger as a tool says that you are out of control and that you cannot lead. It stifles your ability to change and brands you as being emotionally volatile.

Habit #8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”

Everybody avoids negative people in the workplace.

Negative people find problems to every one of your solutions.

They are not helpful. They don’t add value but they want to demonstrate that their knowledge is superior to everybody else’s.

Habit #9. Withholding information

Withholding information is part of corporate culture and is used to gain power.

People who withhold information answer questions with a question, tend to be passive aggressive and promote mistrust.

It becomes important to improve your communications skills, to make sharing information a priority, and to inform people what you are up to.

Habit #10. Failing to give proper recognition

People who are unable to praise and reward, who don’t recognize the contribution of others technically withhold information.

People who are not recognized feel unsuccessful, unappreciated, forgotten and ignored.

Habit #11. Claiming credit that we don’t deserve

The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.

People who claim credit withhold praise and congratulations, overlook the right people, deprive them from recognition.

People who claim credit are thieves and need to win. Whether you are the perpetrator or the victim of credit hogging:

  • Write down every time you congratulate yourself per day.
  • Review your list and discern who deserves credit.

Habit #12. Making excuses

Making excuses is not a viable leadership strategy and stops self-development.

Excuses are different from explanation. However, most people use excuses to explain their failures.

Habit #13. Clinging to the past

The past explains a lot of our behavior.

Most people live in the past because they can blame others for things that happened to them.

However, clinging to the past is unhealthy. The past cannot be changed, rewritten or excuses. It can only be accepted.

Habit #14. Playing favorites

Some leaders unknowingly play favorites.

They encourage people who serve them, praise them and admire them unconditionally.

Playing favorites is dangerous because you select the wrong people, you favor people who don’t necessarily like you, you fail to recognize the people who deserve it.

Habit #15. Refusing to express regret

People who refuse to express regret are unable to forgive, to apologize, to admit their wrongs, to cede power or control.

Refusing to apologize can create a toxic workplace. However, apologizing is powerful tool.

Habit #16. Not listening

Lack of attention is one of the most common bad habits in the workplace.

Not listening to someone demonstrates that you are impatient, don’t care about what they are saying, that they are wasting your time, that you don’t understand what they are saying.

Habit #17. Failing to express gratitude

Expressing gratitude is a powerful and essential tool to success.

Habit #18. Punishing the messenger

Punishing the messenger tend to attack those who blow the whistle and who bring bad news to us.

Habit #19. Passing the buck

The need to blame everyone but ourselves.

Passing the buck means finding a scapegoat, blaming others for our mistakes.

Leaders who pass the buck are difficult to follow because they don’t take responsibility for their actions.

Habit #20. An excessive need to be “me”

People who feel the need to be themselves hold on to behaviors they think intrinsically define them.

They refuse to change because they see it as being inauthentic.

The truth is they have a limited definition of themselves.

Habit #21. Goal obsession

Goal obsession can drive to success but it can also drive to failure.

Goal obsession or obsessing over the wrong goals become negative when you force yourself to achieve your goals in spite of the bigger picture, of your manners and your character.

How To Overcome These 21 Habits?

To dispel these habits, it is important to learn what type of information is appropriate to share, when and how to convey information, who to ask for information, how to discern useful information.

To overcome these 21 habits:

  1. Ask for feedback. Change does not happen with negative feedback but with honest and helpful feedback.
  2. Get feedback on your own from your surroundings and from how people react to you.
  3. Learn to apologize for your bad behavior to the people who matter most to you. By apologizing, you mend broken relationships and overcome negative emotions.
  4. Demonstrate changed behavior or your intention to change your behavior.
  5. Listen more than you speak and listen with respect.
  6. Express gratitude.
  7. Follow up on your progress by asking your coworkers.
  8. Discuss the behavior you are changing to one person and ask them for suggestions in the future.

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

Review

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is a very insightful book. It serves as a workplace guide of the things not to do.

It is written for leaders and for people who want to move up in life and at work.

According to Marshall Goldsmith, everybody has a at least six to eight habits that need to be stopped. From the look of it, we are all guilty of these habits.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith is definitely a good place to start when you are looking to improve, when you are looking to understand the people and the different dynamics in the workplace.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

We have to stop couching all our behavior in terms of positive or negative. Not all behavior is good or bad. Some of it is simply neutral. Neither good nor bad.

the higher you go, the more your problems are behavioral.

As we advance in our careers, behavioral changes are often the only significant changes we can make.

If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.

Gratitude is a skill that we can never display too often. And yet for some reason, we are cheap and chary with gratitude—as if it were rare Bordeaux wine that we can serve only on special occasions. Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is as abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Marshall Goldsmith

The Importance Of Gratitude In Leadership

Some leaders who have achieved high levels of success are unhappy and ungrateful.

They go through life with pessimism and a sense of emptiness.

They don’t express gratitude. They pass down their toxicity to other people, find faults on everything and everyone. Why is that?

It is safe to say that people who express gratitude in the workplace are seen as naive and weak. Are they really thou? Do they know something that we don’t?

Wondering what are the benefits of gratitude and how to improve your level of gratitude?

The Importance Of Gratitude In Leadership

What is gratitude?

The expression of gratitude is both personal and universal. It depends on your cultural background, your systems of belief, your circumstances and your self-awareness.

Gratitude is a conscious choice.

Gratitude is acknowledging the value of someone or something, celebrating success after reaching our goals, choosing to see the positive in any situation and consciously remembering who helped you.

Being grateful is a thinking process that needs constant work. It is a demonstration of your character and your internal strength.

Gratitude is a perception of life.

It is appreciating what you have in life, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Gratitude is an emotion, an attitude, a habit.

To some, gratitude is directly linked to happiness. To others, it fosters complacency and selfishness.

Benefits of gratitude?

Some days are harder than others. Gratitude doesn’t make things magically go away. However, it puts things in perspective.

In addition, being grateful has the ability to:

  • Increase your self-awareness. Gratitude will automatically influence your attitude, your character.
  • Stabilize your health, manage your emotional intelligence and improve your self-esteem. Gratitude is a combination of your emotions and your state of mind.
  • Increase your effectiveness, productivity and optimism.
  • Build great and valuable relationships. You will also be seen as friendly, positive and much more approachable.
  • Make others feel appreciatedMaking people feel valued will in turn make you feel valuable.
  • Promote empathy, resolve conflicts and successfully influence people.
  • Help you recognize that a curse is in fact a blessing in disguise.
  • Help you activate the laws of attraction. more opportunities will come to you naturally.
  • Make the best of everything.
  • Value and focus on the things that you do have.
  • Help you enjoy your journey and find greater meaning in life.
  • Energize you and help you experience positive emotions. It prevents depression and suppresses pride.

Through this practice, leaders build up a reservoir of positive energy.

How to improve your gratitude?

Gratitude is recognizing people for the things that they gift you, for the hurdles, the joys, for your past, present and future. To express your gratitude, practice these tips:

  1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Accept yourself for who you really are.
  3. Clarify your own goals and purpose. You will then know when to celebrate your success.
  4. Keep an open mind which means that you must be open to explore and to learn.
  5. Be sincere and positive. Avoid focusing on negativity in general.
  6. Show that you care and directly give thanks.
  7. Write down all the things that you are grateful for. You can also keep a personal journal. Then, you can memorize what you are grateful for so you can visualize it during hard times.
  8. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable, to emote and to speak your mind.
  9. Volunteer and give back to people.
  10. Engage in activities that are essential and beneficial to you.
  11. Maximize the opportunities that come your way.
  12. Learn from your painful experiences.

Gratitude is not a common emotion or state in the workplace.

Furthermore, nothing can make you feel demoralized and unappreciated like an ungrateful boss.

Nevertheless, at work, there are several opportunities to demonstrate gratitude: a motivated team, a respectful salary, expected results.

To nurture a culture of gratitude within your organization, it is important to exercise your muscle frequently :

  1. Lead by example and be genuine when expressing gratitude.
  2. Get to know your team.
  3. Help someone out once in a while.
  4. Acknowledge people’s success and offer rewards for a job well done.
  5. Sincerely compliment people once in a while.
  6. Encourage your team to always do their best.
  7. Provide frequent feedback.

What are the things that you are the most grateful for?

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

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