Practice taking risks and prepare yourself for rejection. Rejection is not as bad as it seems and usually doesn’t last as long as regret. Regretting a moment or a situation is definitely worse than being rejected.
Avoid spreading your self thin, examine opportunities that come your way, and learn to say no to opportunities that seem too good to be true.
Test your ideas to a wise sounding board that you trust and that can be candid with you.
Be reactive. Be on the lookout for possible breakthroughs or setbacks, and be ready to correct mistakes.
There are no good or bad emotions per se. However, some emotional displays are more socially acceptable than others, depending on each individual’s socio-economic background, appearances and attached stereotypes.
For example, being spiteful and openly provoking someone is socially accepted. However, a person reacting to that provocation with anger is not.
Furthermore, in the workplace, you must leave your emotions at the door, and display a confident and positive attitude. Demonstrating that you are having a bad week will probably get you removed from the project.
When the pressure is on, organizations look to leaders to take action and to safely bring the organization out of hot waters. Leaders who are unable to step up to the plate will potentially be removed from their position.
As a leader, you must discipline your emotions, always have a clear head, continuously deal with challenges, give and receive feedback, keep your employees motivated and on task, even when you are tired or fed up.
Wondering how to discipline your emotions and improve your leadership skills?
What being emotionally disciplined means…
Emotional discipline is about being able to effectively manage your feelings. Being emotionally disciplined means that you are also able to:
Stay calm in challenging situations and overpower your own emotions. You can then deal with a tough situation, without making it worse.
Respond and not react to triggering events.
Gain more power over yourself and control yourself instead of being controlled.
Separate your inner voice from the outside noise.
Remain in the present, avoid dwelling on the past and obsessing about the future.
Decide and act how you want to really feel.
Acquire the freedom to express yourself freely and to engage in activities that make you happy.
Avoid getting tangled up in someone else’s web and positively interact with people. Let’s be honest, emotional discipline is useful to gracefully put people back in their place.
See people for who they really are and for how they really make you feel.
Gain new perspectives on your problems and navigate different situations.
Effectively address important and difficult issues.
Take advantage of a given situation and delay instant gratification for long-term rewards.
Possess several strategies to overcome most challenges.
Why discipline your emotions?
People will try your patience and your peace of mind on a daily basis in life and in the workplace.
The way you feel has an impact on your behavior, on the way you lead and the way you think. Your emotions also affect your health, your self-talk and your work performance.
Needless to say, becoming emotionally disciplined requires a lot of self-reflection, quiet moments with yourself and understanding that no one can harm you without your consent.
It requires growth, that you build up your resistance and become thick-skinned. It is not an easy nor an overnight process.
How leaders strengthen their emotional discipline?
Most people who possess emotional discipline are successfully placed in leadership positions because they are able to work through their own discomfort. To strengthen your emotional discipline, it is imperative to acquire the following habits.
#1. Leaders have a strong hold on their identity
They know their core values, their strengths and weaknesses. They also know where to apply them and they learn about themselves through their emotions.
In addition, they do not let stereotypes and assumptions define them.
#2. Leaders understand their triggers
This step is time-consuming because people might not want to immediately confront their emotions and they might resist the drive down memory lane.
When the pressure is on, leaders are able to quickly identify the origin of your emotions. They know their triggers, understand why that situation or this person is triggering them.
Furthermore, they don’t let anyone push their buttons or control them, they don’t react but they respond to negative behavior.
They wake up in the morning ready to achieve their goals for the day and to make the right decisions for themselves.
#4. Leaders walk with integrity
They do what is right because doing the wrong thing requires too much emotional effort.
Moreover, they take accountability for their actions and don’t shift blame.
#5. Leaders stay in the moment
Most of the time, being in the moment will give you the opportunity to feel your emotional response and give you the appropriate response to any situation.
#6. Leaders identify the emotions that overcome them
If you cannot find the right words to describe your emotion, postpone your self-reflection until later, when you’re in a quiet place.
#7. If they can, leaders write down their thoughts on paper
This way, you will notice your thought patterns, illogical and irrational thoughts, the assumptions that you make, the systems of beliefs, the solutions to your situation, what you need to feel better and to clarify your situation.
#8. Leaders practice self-care
They work out regularly, eat well and do things that you enjoy.
In addition, they take the time to meditate, to quiet the noise in their minds, to improve their self-talk and to employ the power of positive affirmations.
#9. Leaders see people for who they truly are
Leaders are not only self-aware but they are aware of other people’s intention.
#10. Leaders have a strong support system
They have an emotional support system in place that helps them reason, that they go to regularly and that act as a sounding board.
They also surround themselves with people who are emotionally healthy.
Damon Zahariades is a productivity expert, owner of the blog Art Of Productivity and the author of Fast Focus, a quick-start guide to mastering your attention, ignoring distractions, and getting more done in less time!.
To identify and live your passion, Henri Junttila poses 25 questions that will help you assess yourself, overcome roadblocks and successfully create your life goals.
First, you must get to know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your interests.
Your definition of passion
According to Henri Junttila, you must first discover what the word passion means to you and what it means to people around you. You must also be able to envision yourself living a passionate life and find out how it feels to be passionate.
Keep in mind that your passion is personal, internal and intrinsic to your being. It is not what society, friends and family tell you it should be.
Talents, strengths and weaknesses
Everyone has a gift and it is your duty to find out what you are gifted at because most of the time, your passions lie within your gifts.
Besides, tapping into your strengths will make you a happier person. Not doing so will definitely make you feel miserable, out of focus, burnt out.
It is therefore detrimental to:
Explore every single one of your interests and natural inclinations. For example, what do you find yourself naturally talking about? People can have several passions. They should explore all of them and see which ones resonates the most.
Remind yourself of your dreams, strengths and passions as a child.
Analyze the reasons why you are interested in certain activities.
Evaluate the advice that is requested from you and the advice that you give.
We are sometimes our worst enemy. Our assumptions about people or about ourselves are hard to shift or to disable. And sometimes, they can hold us back.
To get rid of the debilitating assumptions that you make about yourself:
Find out what you hate, what would hinder you as a human being, what you wouldn’t do, what would go against your core values.
Trust your gut.
Don’t impose limits to your imagination.
Change your perspective on your problems.
Review your systems of belief and integrate the ideas needed to succeed.
Don’t listen to naysayers. This is hard because naysayers are mostly family and close friends who are afraid of facing their own realities and who are afraid that you will outgrow them.
Dream big but don’t settle.
Don’t give up on yourself and your dreams.
Don’t allow yourself to get overwhelmed.
Overcoming Factors Out Of Your Control
In life, there a numerous obstacles to success and to happiness: money, death and other factors.
Indeed, money or lack thereof is limiting. People need money to go after their passion, to recover from failure, to have the opportunity to explore, to remove fear.
However, finding your passion is all about being resilient and understanding that not everything is going to go your way. You must also:
Understand that to every problem there are multiple solutions.
Understand that nothing will never be perfect and that there is no right time to start.
Don’t be afraid of failure or of success. Work like you cannot fail.
Follow your passion whether you have money or not.
Even when facing obstacles or feeling stuck, take baby steps no matter what.
Think about your own death and the legacy you want to leave. Thinking about your own death will help you prioritize and focus on the essentials.
Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself by Henri Junttila is a relatable, quick and easy to read book that helps you to get to know and love yourself just the way you are.
It is primarily written for people who feel lost in the world, who are fearful, who go through life without passion or without a clear purpose. The silver lining is that it’s never too late to find and follow your passions.
In Find Your Passion: 25 Questions You Must Ask Yourself, Henri Junttila was able to share all this useful information in such a concise book. He also provides us with additional insightful questions and a complete workbook, which makes the book completely unreadable without a paper and a pen.
It is imperative that you keep this book close by, that you take your time to answer these questions and that you don’t censor yourself. Your answers may not come to you at first but you can always revisit the book.
Be authentic with the world and with yourself and you will never fail.
When I see people limit themselves, I get angry. I see the potential in people, but they don’t do anything about it. They settle for mediocrity, and they believe they can’t do better.
Living a passionate life doesn’t happen overnight. It’s hard work, and it’s not as glamorous as people make it out to be. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go after it. It simply means that it takes more work than you’d expect.
Learn self-discipline and increase your emotional intelligence. This will help you monitor what you say about yourself and to yourself, make clear and immediate decisions, to fight and understand your emotions. Don’t be afraid of challenging the status quo. Don’t let fear dictate your behavior and your decisions.
Avoid overwhelming yourself, overthinking or over-analyzing a task.Measuring how difficult the task is and being afraid of failure will deter you from achieving any consequential result.
Our perception of pain is programmed by past society and by past experiences. To get rid of that perception, visualize your success and your task accomplished.
Write down what you have been procrastinating on and why. Write down 3 tasks that you must do. Work 5 minutes on each task successively without distraction.
Break down on task in smaller feasible steps. Take the first step, focus on one step at a time and create momentum.
Prioritize these steps: discern urgent tasks from important tasks, use the 80/20 principle. Take care of the hardest and most important task first and focus your energy on that.
Estimate and isolate the time needed to execute your task.You can set a deadline and use a timer
Commit to your tasks.
Measure your progress and remind yourself of your accomplishments.
To manage your time appropriately, anticipate obstacles, withstand challenges and find solutions.
Make sure that your workspace is organized for the work at hand.
Stay away from distractions. Stay away from internet and social media, turn off your phone, don’t check your emails.
Develop a sense of urgency.It is critical to remind yourself that you will lose the opportunity, to remind yourself of the consequences of not making decisions or taking action, to remember that there is no right time to accomplish your task.
Create a vision board in order to better visualize your goals.
Create a routine and aim for the long-term.
Don’t try to be perfect.
Surround yourself with like-minded people.
Watch motivational videos to get you started.
Don’t wait until you are 100% sure. The perfect time is now.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
There are laws and principles that govern the workplace. We can either ignore them, acknowledge them or abide by them.
These laws and principles are the most visible when someone has been promoted, is moving forward or a new boss is in town. Some appear to be jealous, some try to quickly affiliate with the winner, to show their allegiance. Others are quick to sabotage and to compete.
I am not one to willingly participate in office politics. However, in my opinion, because knowledge is power, the best way to avoid politics is to know the rules. I like to know what is happening, how to read a room, to always be aware of my behavior, and to prepare myself for what is coming.
This advice is also valuable for minorities who encounters western group think in the office, who need to be realistic about their situations and want to understand how to advance themselves, how to protect themselves.
Wondering how to navigate office politics and whether or not you should be interested in it?
What is office politics?
Office politics is a human concept and is inevitable. It is also very necessary and will go on whether your participate in it or not.
In office politics people seek power, leadership, influence and/or control of other people, more responsibility on their job.
Office politics is a particular hard skill becauseit requires that you control your primitive, impulsive responses to different situations and that you stay in high alert at all times.
The Perks Of Office Politics
Political animals in the office usually get what they want, to evade conflicts and sometimes create them between different individuals. Political animals:
Have influence. They build healthy relationships, even with toxic individuals.
Recognize the agendas and powers at play in any relationships.
Get the best projects, get promoted, get pay raise and other rewards.
Are trusted for their opinions.
Get credit for their hard work.
Get their career on a positive track.
Have the ability and the tools to deal with opposition and usually wins in a conflict.
Conserve their energy and focus it on worthwhile issues.
Avoid being blindsided or facing unpleasant outcomes.
What We Hate About Office Politics
Office politics is often badly perceived because it can be cruel, be viewed as being calculated and manipulative.
Sometimes, office politics is a dangerous and corrosive game but it is a game. It is part of human nature, a social activity, a marathon and not a sprint.
It is often used to sabotage, to manipulate, to deflect or to create a conflict between people.
Therefore, it is not for the faint of heart. Before starting, you must make sure that you are robust, are not dependent on people or other external factors, that you are emotionally detached from your work and that you can clearly separate your identity from your job.
Furthermore, keep in mind that abusing power on the long run does not lead to success.
Principle #1: Defining your purpose
Having greater goals in life will help you sustain and overcome opposition, avoid being pushed around by people or events. Your ultimate goals can be:
staying at a company and getting your pay check to ensure your lifestyle and to guarantee financial stability.
staying at a company, evolving, building healthy relationships
Living the company and finding better
Either way, set realistic goals, expectations for yourself. Next, stay focus on your goals, use your goals to guide your decisions and your behavior.
Principle #2: Know your strengths, weaknesses and limits
Politics and power will challenge your weaknesses.
Understanding your strengths and weaknesses will help you assess your worth, appreciate your contributions at work and determine whether or not you can run with horses. This will also help you identify them in others, understand them, maximize their potential and forgive their weaknesses.
To be effective at office politics, don’t directly demonstrate or enunciate your strengths or weaknesses. It is best to wait for the right moment to do so.
In addition, you must seek to enhance your performance, your productivity, to develop competencies that are hard to acquire or hard to replace. and to deliver great results. Then, discreetly promote your results.
Principle #3: Maintaining your leadership capabilities
It is important to learn to keep your peace and your composure at all times by seriously controlling your emotions. This demands a lot of discipline and will help you grow as a person.
Furthermore, lead by example and take care or yourself first. Great leaders have power but stay humble and don’t abuse it.
To help you manage people, conflicts, to adopt the right behavior, to estimate your position and status:
Understand the company culture, values and principles.
Understand the people who you work with, estimate their boundaries and assess their attitudes.
Believe that hierarchy exist and is gladly enforced in the workplace. This means that you must, at some point, show deference to your “superiors”.This doesn’t mean that your “superiors” have greater character, greater skill sets or greater vision. However, no matter who you are, you won’t be able to freely speak your mind, to make your own decisions, to control your assignments.
Discipline your words and your thoughts
Stay away from gossip and rumors.
Watch what you say and how you say it.
Give substance to your speech.
Monitor your behavior at all times.
Discipline your emotions
Get rid of your ego and nurture your sense of humor. If you don’t know something, say so and don’t fake knowledge.
Don’t waste your time and energy on useless matters.
Keep your wits about you.
When someone slights you, don’t give them an emotional reaction.
Principle #4: Behave ethically
Remain true to your core values.
Don’t expect to be treated fairly.
Upgrade your character in order to be unimpeachable from the start. People with low or no ethics are unsuccessful in the long run.
Poor character leads to abusive, aggressive, masochistic, sadist behavior and office politics.
When I was working for a long corporation, one person in the office was being bullied. I was asked, as a team member, to participate in the bullying and to force the person to quit.
Most of my team members, for fun or for fear of retribution, would engage in toxic behavior towards this one person, put down false complaints and manufacture false rumors as well.
Without doing the same, I realized that sadistically beating down on someone, engaging in toxic behavior were not aligning with my core values and wouldn’t allow me to sleep properly at night.
To solve the solution, I simply listened to the request, spoke positively about the person, suggested to them that they had to find a better position and found a better place to work myself.
What was your ethically questionable experience?
Principle #5: Building your network and gaining influence
Networking is an important process, especially if your are shy and introverted. Who you know will determine how far you will get.
Here are some tips below that will help you be unbothered, to gain influence and build positive relationships:
Protect your reputation at all cost. For instance, if you make promises, live up to them.
Have a positive attitude. Avoid being mean or offending people for sport.
Act or be confident. It is important to fake it until you make it, to dress confidently and dress for success.
Give your best on your job and put your best foot forward. You can even become an expert in your field.
Empathetic ally listen to your coworkers. This way, you will get invaluable information about the environment, be solution oriented and build strong relationships.
Look to be respected and not to be liked.
Seek to integrate the group before you seek to lead it.
Target people who can help you achieve your goals and let them know what you bring to the table.
Don’t worry what people say about you, don’t gossip or spread false rumors.
Avoid too much flattery. You will appear weak to your peers, will erode their respect and the respect of the higher-ups.
Involve people in your decision-making process.
Principle #6: Friend or Foe?
It is detrimental to discern your friends from your enemies, your confidant from your comrade, your constituents from your compatriots.
Keep in mind that:
Not everybody is your friend and don’t expect your “friends” to have your back.
It is better to have allies than to have enemies.
Your enemies won’t stop at anything to block you from achieving your purpose.
In conflicts or challenging situations:
Always seek to diffuse tension.
Avoid taking sides, power struggles but don’t give in to enemies or attempt to please them.
Mind your business and don’t take anything personally.
Identify the toxic behavior and the solution for it.
Don’t stoop to the level of the perpetrator or please the naysayers.
Don’t play the victim or suffer unfair treatment.
Ask questions rather than giving answers or have a private chat with an enemy and try to bring them to your side.
If you are not in position of power or are not favored at your job, accept it and move on, especially if you don’t know how to maneuver the situation.
If excluded from a group, don’t attempt to fit in, just join a new one or leave the place.
If you are being openly criticized or insulted, don’t let that affect your self-worth or your work. Agree with the perpetrator without demonstrating emotion.
Principle #7: Change
To handle office politics, one must learn to appreciate change and adapt to it.
Stay present, stay resilient and robust to conflicts and change, to your own emotions, to the emotions of others.
Learn to deal with change and quickly recover from your blows.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
Sometimes, we are stuck in a career that we hate or that no longer fulfills us. Other times, the commute is too long, we make long studies to end up in a career that requires too much sacrifice, that doesn’t fit us or that we struggle in.
Uprooting, starting over, reinventing your career and moving forward is difficult. Starting over from scratch feels like a failure, is intimidating, is discouraging, takes time, requires optimism, an ability to learn, an interest in personal growth, a sense of adventure.
Wondering how to actively change career and find a job that fulfills you?
Being in the wrong job or leading the wrong people demands too much sacrifice and can lead to a serious breakdown or various health issues. Our lack of interest spills over at work and most importantly at home, especially if we are leaders. We visibly become careless, inconsistent, we underperform and are emotionally unavailable.
Furthermore, a career change is necessary when your personal needs are not met, when you get feeling of boredom, start burning out, lack of satisfaction, work for a bad boss and with toxic coworkers. Everybody has a breaking point and cannot spend a lifetime adapting to situations that are unnatural to them.
How to avoid making the wrong career choice?
Some people drift through jobs without any idea of what they are doing or without making a decisive career choice. To avoid making a bad career choice:
Understand that a bad career choice can have severe effect on your health and your happiness.
Check to see if you fit in the company during the hiring process.
Don’t abuse drugs to distract yourself from a bad job.
Actively changing careers
Changing career is daunting yet exciting. It is daunting because we might lose status, leadership position. However, it can be exciting because the future is promising. Starting over means learning from your past mistakes, applying the solutions with an open mind and with a different perspective on life.
Quitting your job and pursuing the career you always wanted is a leap of faith. The future is unknown but promising. To transition smoothly:
Know that what we think we can achieve is unlimited and is not limited. Changing career requires a different mindset. Believe that ever force is on your side and attract the things you want in life. Don’t let fear stop you from moving forward.
List the different careers that you wish you could have.
Some people will tell you that it is a bad decision to change career. Listen carefully to what they say and understand that their opinion is not really about you. Find ways to overcome these boundaries, keep moving forward and don’t look back.
Accept yourself and your character flaws.
Identify your strengths and weaknesses. This will help you tap into your full potential and make your career more sustainable, make work more enjoyable and will have you jumping out of bed to get to work.
Identify your core values. Core values are what guide your behavior and character. Make sure that what you are doing aligns with your values.
Identify your skills acquired at work and make sure that they are transferable.
Find out your passions, what you want and what you like to do, even when you are not getting paid.
Build a vision, set goals, focus or a purpose. Daily remind yourself of your dreams and goals. Then, determine the needs required for achieving this purpose.
Imagine your ideal life and your ideal position. Write it down and create a vision board to specifically solidify your dreams.
Measure your stage in life, how far are you in life. The consequences of changing career will be different if you are a recent graduate student or a seasoned senior professional.
Meet your personal requirements at home. Your requirements can be money, recognition, trust, autonomy, performance and achievements). Furthermore, understand that your needs are personal and will not be grasped by everyone.
Address your past and your present experiences. Then, Estimate what you consider as a failure and as a success.
Be open to learn and ask probing questions.
Brush up on your interview skills, network and learn to sell yourself.
If you are looking for a job at another company, remember to update your resume with accurate experience and qualifications, big or small.
Take classes and trainings that will move you toward your career goal and keep you motivated.
Ask for sit downs to people who are in your career of choice. During that interview, don’t directly ask for a job but avoid making assumptions, ask probing questions and take notes.
Respond to advertised jobs. You can also directly apply to companies without going through ads.
Rearrange your personal life before tending to the professional life. Make peace with yourself and physically declutter your space at home then at work.
Learn to deal with worst case scenarios on your current job before moving on to the next one. Chances are that you will meet the same situation somewhere else and potentially end up in the same mess.
Avoid passive aggressive behavior on your last days at work and develop smart strategies to handle our current job. For example, try to meet your boss requirements before quitting your job. When you meet the boss’s requirements, his trust in you will be renewed and your energy will be boosted.
Start a business that is directly molded on your strengths and weaknesses.Once a leader, always a leader. It is not something you can turn off.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.