In Ego Is The Enemy, Ryan Holiday teaches you to stay humble in your aspirations, gracious in your success and resilient in your failures.
How to achieve your aspirations?
Ego is your worst enemy and can easily sink your ship. Ego blocks your progress in life and sometimes fast tracks your downfall. To improve and fight your ego, you must:
- Be open to feedback but learn to evaluate your own abilities.
- Practice detachment, tame your imagination before it runs wild and go through life with a quiet confidence.
- Don’t stay stuck in your head. Instead, participate in what is going on around you.
- Try staying silent in conversation. Silence can be strategic and is sustainable.
- Always seek to learn. When you are a student, you absorb what is going on around you, you are focused on gaining knowledge and improving yourself.
- Avoid being passionate. Instead, favor purpose and realism.
- Ignore when people slight you and brush off the pain. Just think of it as you paying your dues.
- Avoid being prideful. Pride leads to arrogance. It impedes your ability “to learn, to adapt, to be flexible, to build relationships”.
- Doing ever stop working.
How to maintain success?
You have aspirations and you have worked so hard to climb the ladder of success. However, when you start succeeding, you will start facing new ego problems that can quickly erode your success. To maintain long-term success:
- Don’t pretend that you know what you are doing. Instead, keep learning, stay focused on facts and do your best.
- Don’t compare yourself to others or try to keep up with the Joneses because you will end up doing things you don’t want to do.
- Always remember your purpose and what is important to you before saying yes to opportunities.
- Don’t be paranoid, entitled or controlling.
- Learn to organize your thoughts, manage yourself and others.
- Understand that selflessness and humility are strengths and not weaknesses.
- Don’t try to be the center of attention, hug the spotlight and take credit for something you didn’t do or deserve.
- Patiently progress towards you goals. It is better to go at it slow and steady.
How to handle failure?
Ego, power and success can make you delusional. You have to constantly self-monitor and stay attentive for your own downfalls. Moreover, everybody goes through setbacks in life. Failure is not fair and happens to good people too. But with a big ego, you tend to get caught by surprise. Your ego will make it hard for you to handle rock bottom. To be resilient in your failures:
- Know your worth.
- Stay humble and on purpose.
- Don’t abandon your principles and maintain your character.
- Don’t depend on recognition and reward.
- Make use of your environment and transform your failures into something positive.
- Understand that, even if you do everything right and perfect, you still will experience failure.
- Discipline yourself to do the right thing. It will be hard but it will makes you less self absorbed on the long run.
Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday is short, practical and direct self-development book. According to Ryan Holiday, there are three stages in life: aspirations, success, failure. You will have to discipline your ego in all three stages if you want to get somewhere. Ego is our own worst enemy. It becomes detrimental to suppress or manage our ego before we develop bad habits. For example, he warns us against common knowledge:
- Don’t be passionate or you will fail. It is better to be apathetic and acknowledge the realities of your passions.
- Don’t flatter your ego.
- Don’t think you know everything.
Ego Is The Enemy is ideal for leaders who want to tame their ego, improve their leadership and relationships.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous. Detachment is a sort of natural ego antidote. For your work to have truth in it, it must come from truth. We will learn that though we think big, we must act and live small in order to accomplish what we seek. The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong. All of us waste precious life doing things we don’t like, to prove ourselves to people we don’t respect, and to get things we don’t want.
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Maybe you are here because you are trapped in your career graph plateau. Or maybe you may have just stumbled on Journey To Leadership.
Either way, you will feel confident after this brief read about failure and success…
What is Success?
Success is something everyone strives for and understandably so.
Often, we have seen people go above and beyond to get what they want, but somehow they end up getting nothing, at least what was aimed at.
In this article, we will look into some of the reasons why they don’t get what they have in mind. We will also be discussing at length at what point they are going wrong.
What exactly is stopping them from reaching greater heights?
Below are the reasons why you are not achieving success and the key to self-awareness.
1. That laid back attitude towards your goals
Being lackadaisical towards your goal will never get you to your goal.
A goal should be thoroughly worked upon and you must have an enthusiastic mindset when working on it.
Indeed, being more than casual about it may harm the probability of success.
In addition, procrastination will become a slow poison.
2. Going after everything and not being specific about your goals
Many people run after every possible field, hoping to secure a position in one of these fields.
However, chasing multiple things simultaneously linked with your interests will only make things worse for you instead of getting you closer to your dreams.
Instead of going after literally every other stream — which is the problem with most people, it becomes important to set your heart on the thing that interests you the most.
Furthermore, people end up following the crowd and somehow don’t realize that they will work more diligently if their goal is in their interest and of their best interest.
3. Not laying out things clearly
Without having things laid out vividly in your mind, planning things out and then working on them accordingly, you won’t be able to achieve anything.
One of the reasons why you are not succeeding is due to the fact that things getting muddled up in your mind.
This way, you’ll have everything right in front of your eyes and you would know how you can go about it.
4. Not trusting yourself enough
Even if you are indulging yourself in something that doesn’t require any planning or execution, trusting yourself will play a major role.
Nothing can be accomplished if you don’t have faith in yourself.
Once you have the mindset that “Yes, I can become so and so because I trust myself that I can do it,” you’ll move a step closer to your dream.
It’s quite OK if you have a fear of failure. You must understand what is the cause of atychiphobia and overcome it.
5. Being dubious about everything
Another reason that pulls you back from your goal is having a doubtful approach to everything: being dubious about your set goals but also having some nagging doubts about yourself.
If you are constantly in doubt whether the field you have chosen is right for you or not, whether you will be able to push yourself that high or not, all these doubts contribute to you not getting anywhere around your goals.
By now, you must have already figured out how being dubious and not having faith in yourself are closely linked.
6. Being hard on yourself and not giving yourself a rest
No matter how hard you are on yourself, if the set goals aren’t meant to be, they just won’t happen.
Part of the reason behind your unsuccessful attempts is you knocking yourself out and not giving yourself enough rest that your mind and body require.
Your subconscious is stronger than any obstacles but you must learn how to calibrate your subconscious.
7. Pulling excuses
This deserves to have a whole point dedicated to it.
One of the major reasons why you constantly fail is making excuses.
Blaming others for your failure and not getting an inch closer to your goal need to be dropped out of your habits.
“Excuses will always be there for you. Opportunity won’t.”
8. Not getting out of your comfort zone
Another reason your goal isn’t achieved could be your unwillingness to get out of your comfort zone.
Dreams require efforts, risks, and adapting to an environment that doesn’t suit your taste.
One just cannot achieve something while being in their comfort zone and letting the zone expand beyond their goals.
Top 3 Apps that will motivate you to achieve success
These were some of the reasons that could be stopping you from moving closer to your goals.
Now one thing that might cross your mind is how you can go about your goals and rule out the possibility of failure even though one can never obviate the chances of failure.
Here are 3 apps to achieve your goals and overcome your fear of failure.
Let’s check them out briefly.
MindMeister helps to create a mind map which links your thought process, to-do list and goals. It also helps you to get ahead in life with a do-able road map.
Beeminder is a beautiful goal setting app that virtually connects your budget with your goal and track it to guide you towards a success mindset.
Motivation can really push you towards success.
Unfortunately, motivation has a shelf-life. So, we need to recharge it daily.
This app will send you brilliant motivational quotes around the world.
All these apps play an important role to co-relate your mind and goal so that your energy doesn’t divert.
Not everyone knows how to handle obstacles.
Most people tend to quit at the sight of adversity…
Overcoming obstacles and standing tall in adversity are a learned behavior.
To turn your trials into triumphs, you must:
- Change our bad perceptions of events.
- Take directive actions.
- Strengthen your will power.
Change your perception
Your perception has power over you and your decisions.
Building up your perception takes time and a lot of practice.
You must discipline your emotions and objectively perceive your world for what it is and not for how it wants to be seen in order to :
- Temper your passions and primal feelings,
- Become objective and access the truth.
- Stay cool under pressure.
- Stay present and positive.
Your mind is a powerful tool. To actively change your perception:
- Understand that you cannot change the obstacles.
- Understand that you are in control of how you perceive the world and your obstacles.
- Believe that you can choose how to respond to different situations. You can always oppose negativity or shake it off.
- Trust that you are the one who decides of the outcome of the situation.
- Assume that there are no good or bad events in life. By thinking so, you make it so.
- Feel your emotions but get your emotions under control.
- Tell yourself the truth and be authentic.
- Use your personal resources wisely. For example, don’t waste your time trying to understand why a situation is the way it is. Those reasons don’t matter.
- See obstacles as challenges or opportunities to observe, to grow, to improve yourself, to acquire new skills and to try new tactics.
- Do not make assumptions.
- Be present, be bold and take calculated risks.
Take directive action
After you have corrected your perception, it is time to learn how to act it out.
Each and every one of your actions must serve a purpose.
To act towards your goals with your new perception:
- Remember that where you start is not where you will end.
- Start somewhere and fight to create momentum in whatever you undertake.
- Take the time to explore and to learn.
- Avoid complaining and take “directive action”. If you have taken action, persevere and don’t quit no matter what.
- Expect the execution of your plan will be difficult.
- See obstacles as a way to test your character.
- Turn negatives into positives.
- Do not dwell or waste time dwelling on the hand that life has dealt you.
- Take responsibility for your actions.
- Don’t let distractions or failed actions stop you. Instead, fail forward, learn from your failures and don’t take them personally.
- Manage your energy and always do your best with what you have.
Increase your will power
Your will power is something that can never be taken from you.
Maintaining it requires a deep understanding of life.
To increase your will power:
- Anticipate and prepare yourself for adversity so you do not get caught by surprise.
- Forge your strengths and take care of your weaknesses when there is not adversity.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is a motivational book that encourages people to withstand adversity and to take action despite adversity. Ryan Holiday shares a philosophical approach, rooted in stoicism, that will help you confront obstacles and turn them upside down.
The Obstacle is the Way : The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph is destined for leaders and entrepreneurs who:
- Face challenges on a daily basis,
- Need to make pragmatic decisions and take calculated risks,
- Want to take their career or business to the next level.
Holiday‘s entire book is based on classical references, historical figures and war leaders, who have distinguished themselves in life and who have adopted stoicism as a life strategy.
Finally, Ryan Holiday also incorporates reputable leaders and entrepreneurs as examples of resilience and will power. If you want to stay motivated and push through your challenges, this book is for you.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Our perceptions can be a source of strength or of great weakness. If we are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, we only add to our troubles.
Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we’ll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate.
Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power.
But every ounce of energy directed at things we can’t actually influence is wasted—self-indulgent and self-destructive. So much power—ours, and other people’s—is frittered away in this manner.
If you mean it when you say you’re at the end of your rope and would rather quit, you actually have a unique chance to grow and improve yourself. A unique opportunity to experiment with different solutions, to try different tactics, or to take on new projects to add to your skill set.
Leadership requires determination and energy. And certain situations, at times, call on leaders to marshal that determined energy simply to endure.
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Leaders often have to make tough calls, take huge risks and face their deepest fears on a daily basis.
Fear has been infused into us since childhood, is often employed as an employee management tool, and guarantees a unique and universal experience at the same time.
Indeed, the same fear can manifest itself differently, can be based on different experiences and interpretations of events.
The truth is fear can be a friend or an enemy, can have a positive or negative impact, can be a motivator or an hindrance. It all depends on your understanding of your emotions, of fear itself and your level of self-control.
Wondering what are the best strategies to overcome your fears?
Most of the time, fear is standing right in front of our personal goals.
Hopefully, to every problem there is a solution.
Below are 4 proven strategies leaders use to overcome their fears.
1. Leaders identify their fears
Before overcoming your fears, you first have to identify them.
When you do identify them, it is time to write them down.
If you are unable to identify them, try journaling and describing on paper the situation that is bringing you fear to see if you can uncover a pattern or try asking the people closest to you.
Furthermore, journaling is a great way to acknowledge experiences, detach yourself from the fearful situation, log your thoughts during challenges, and to label your emotions.
2. Leaders get in touch with their inner self
Most people spend their entire life being completely disconnected with their inner self, without getting to know who they truly are and without achieving their life’s purpose.
That is how some many fears remain hidden and and it becomes necessary to get in touch with your inner self to overcome them.
Through exercise, meditation, visualization and deep breathing techniques, you can unclutter your mind and access your intuition.
3. Leaders upgrade their mindset
During difficult and fear inducing situations, it becomes detrimental to analyze your thoughts and feelings.
When you catch yourself thinking negatively, it helps to stop that thought, rewire your brain and replace that thought with a positive one.
After a while, you will come to understand yourself, fear and all its intricacies.
4. Leaders directly confront their fears
The best way to overcome your fears is to face them head on. Avoiding them might only increase your anxieties and your fears.
Once you face them, you will realize that there wasn’t really much to be afraid of.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You… Click To Tweet
Last Words Of Advice!
Once you have identified your fears and the triggers associated to them, you will have more control over yourself, see the situation clearly and understand that these feelings often times don’t make sense.
Control your fears before they control you!
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
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