If you work in an international setting, it is not always easy to grasp every message conveyed or to share your thoughts and vision in a different language…
If you are not writing in a language that is yours, you have to get your point across all while being careful about what you say and how you say it.
Quillbot is an AI-based paraphrasing and grammar checking tool that guarantees a greater understanding and an adept communication style, tone and language.
If your writing is feeling flat or inappropriate for your audience, Quillbot helps you craft topic sentences from your own ideas and drafted arguments and keep the message of your sentence.
Furthermore, Quillbot provides the tools to refine your writing, vary your vocabulary by giving you several word options, and articulate your sentences in the style that you need whether your style leans towards formal, fluency, standard, creative or shorten.
This paraphrasing tool can even highlight grammar errors and include citations.
Finally, Quillbot facilitate your language improvement by providing feedback on the structure and sense of your sentences.
Journey To Leadership curates the best apps available on the market to satisfy the needs of our readers and leaders.
We seldom are perceived the way we see ourselves or the way we want to be perceived.
Contrary to popular belief, our facial expressions are not always readable, our emotions are not that obvious and we don’t communicate as much as we think we do.
There are many heuristics and assumptions that guide our perceptions and create inaccurate interpretations of people.
Assumption #1: The confirmation bias
Some people look at you and see what they expect to see, taking into account the stereotypes of the groups to which you belong, your culture and their past experiences with you.
Assumption #2: The primary effect
Other people forme their perceptions of you using their initial impression of you.
With this assumption, first impressions are lasting impressions.
Assumption #3: Stereotypes
Stereotypes are the beliefs about categories of people to “better understand” them.
Assumption #4: The halo effect
The halo effect is the belief that someone, with one powerful positive trait, has a lot more positive traits.
Assumption #5: The false-consensus effect
The false-consensus effect is the belief that others think and feel the same way that we do.
The Two Phases of Perception
There are two phases of perception that exist in every interactions: Phase 1 or System 1 and Phase 2 or System 2.
Phase 1 or System 1 is the automatic and effortless ability to recognize strong emotions in someone’s facial expression and voice, to identify, categorize and interpret a given behavior, to attach that given behavior to “some aspect of your personality, character or abilities”.
First impressions are made in Phase 1.
Perception often stops at Phase 1 and people, being busy, tend to rely heavily on heuristics and assumptions.
Phase 2 or System 2 is the ability, through complex and effortful mental operations to get a complete and accurate understanding of someone, by taking into account additional factors about yourself.
This effort has to purposefully be motivated by an attention-grabbing circumstance.
Distortion of The Phases of Perception
The level of trust, the possession of power and the size of the ego tend have an impact on these phases of perception.
However, these distortions can be averted by understanding the circumstances and the wanted results of each interaction.
The level of trust
Most of the time, people are not just trying to make assumptions about you but are trying to find out unconsciously if they can trust you, especially in the workplace: are you a friend or a foe?
The decision to trust is made unconsciously in Phase 1 of perception and depends on the way that you project warmth and competence.
To increase trust to the people around you:
Convey warmth indirectly by giving subtle but genuine complements, by providing assistance whenever you can, by showing interest in others feelings and thoughts.
Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging someone else’s perspective.
Manifest your trust in people first by being cooperative, talking about your vulnerabilities and challenges.
Transmit competence by making eye contact while speaking.
Show will power by showing self-control.
Avoid overconfidence by showing modesty and restraint.
Adopt a power pose in order to take up most of the space, to signal your competence.
Emphasize your potential for greatness and for success.
The possession of power
Having more or less power changes the impressions that we form about one another.
Powerful people tend to be overwhelmed with responsibilities and have no time to spare, to be focused on their goals, rely heavily on stereotypes to categorize people, stay stuck in Phase 1 of perception.
Furthermore, the sad truth is that powerful people don’t pay much attention to less powerful people.
To get noticed by powerful people and to increase your influence:
Be instrumental to their success.
Find out how you can align your. objectives with those of the powerful.
Ease their burden.
Anticipate their needs and challenges.
Avoid complementing them because they don’t care.
The size of the ego
Perception is distorted by the size of the ego in such ways that you must come out on top, feeling good about yourself.
Your ego has the purpose of protecting and enhancing your self-esteem.
To control the way people perceive you through their ego, you will need to:
Help people enhance their self-esteem.
Evaluate the threat that you and your abilities pose to your colleagues.
Be humble about your accomplishments, past and current difficulties. Avoid tooting your own horn, playing dumb or acting like someone else.
Affirm other people by praising them and their achievements.
Avoid stereotyping other people.
The eager reward seekers and the vigilant risk mitigators
The safety and security of our personal situations also poses a threat to our perceptions of people, of our colleagues and of our career.
On one hand, the eager reward seeker looks for opportunities everywhere, are effective, risk takers, rule breakers, adventurers, optimistic, motivated, innovative and often creative.
Unfortunately, eager reward seekers are prone to fail and to underestimate problems.
On the other, the vigilant risk mitigators see danger everywhere they go, are vigilant, risk averse, reliable, thorough and deliberate, prone to analytical thinking and self-doubt.
To get the best of both types of people, simply adapt your language to each of them by making one see a potential for gain and the other a cautionary plan.
The clingy, anxious and the aloof, avoidant
The need for closeness shapes our relationship with others.
The clingy and anxious people tend to have low self-esteem, need validation, constantly seek closeness and are worried that the people that they have built a relationship with will leave them, see injuries and slights where there aren’t, fear rejection.
To accommodate them, practise empathy, don’t take it personally, clarify your speech, stay reliable to this person.
The aloof and avoidant people don’t foster close relationships but instead maintain emotional distance.
To accommodate them, don’t take their behaviour personally, restraint your own warmth, give them time to open up.
Correcting bad impressions and fighting misunderstandings
Finally, to correct bad impressions and start over on the right track, you can exhibit attention-getting evidence of the contrary evidence of you so they can notice and cannot deny reality.
You can also force people to revisit their opinion of you by making them feel that their judgement is unfair or unequal.
Finally, you can make people depend on you and need you to reach their goals.
No One Understands You and What To Do About It by Heidi Grant Halvorson is a great self-development book that explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood and gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.
Every single conclusion that Halvorson draws is scientifically researched and illustrated with probing examples.
This book is intended for people who have made past mistakes with people and want to correct them.
It was absolutely hard to read because Halvorson revealed hard truths, reminded me of the stereotypes that pursue me on a daily basis and that keep interfering with my goals, forces me to question myself and my behavior.
In addition, this book made me more self-conscious about my presentation to the world and my decisions, more aware that first impressions are critical, that most people don’t think the same way I do, react the same I do, or perceive me the same way I do.
Furthermore, No One Understands You and What To Do About It was also cathartic and purging, helped me become a better judge of others, understand that the way people treated me in the past was not my full responsibility.
In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explains how perceptions are born, describes a set of stereotypes and assumptions that affect how people perceive you, the different ways for correcting bad impressions and for overcoming misunderstandings.
Studies show that while very strong, basic emotions—surprise, fear, disgust, and anger—are fairly easy to read, the more subtle emotions we experience on a daily basis are not. You are never really starting from scratch with another person, even when you are meeting him or her for the first time. The perceiver’s brain is rapidly filling in details about you—many before you have even spoken a word. Knowing this gives you a sense of what you’ve got going for you and what you might be up against. And the more you can know in advance about your perceiver’s likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses, the better equipped you will be to anticipate what’s being projected onto you.
The benefits of projecting trustworthiness (and the costs of failing to do so) are Enormous, particularly in the workplace. Studies show, for instance, that the willingness to share knowledge with colleagues—a sticking point in most large organizations—is strongly predicted by feelings of trust among employees.
Words are powerful and can have a long-lasting effect on people…
Leaders are responsible for employee engagement, for setting goals, giving feedback and reinforce positive feedbacks.
Therefore, leaders have to be careful of the words that come out their mouth.
On one hand, they can say annoying things from time to time.
On the other hand, it’s not always easy to find the right thing to say.
Wondering what are the most annoying things that leaders usually say?
1. “It’s my way or the high way!”
Leaders who want everything they way tend to hire talented individuals to do the job but don’t trust them to do so or don’t give them the opportunity to exercise their expertise. By doing so, their team gradually lose confidence and morale.
2. “You’re wrong” or “Why didn’t you do this instead?”
There is more than one solution to a problem and there is more than one way than doing things.
3. “It’s none of your business” or “Stay in your lane”
Leaders who pull rank or hold back information try to retain power as much as they can and wish to establish a certain distance between themselves and their team.
4. “Let me finish…” or Interrupt people while the are talking…
It is important for leaders to actively listen before they speak and to value their team’s knowledge.
5. “I don’t pay you to think!”
By saying that, leaders reduce their team members to mere tools or objects.
6. “I’m not going to do your job for you”
Team members usually come to leaders for advice and reassurance but don’t require those same leaders to do their job for them.
7. “Don’t waste my time”
Time is indeed a precious commodity but by saying that leaders impeded their team from suggesting innovative ideas.
8. “I don’t have time right now”
Leaders are definitely busy bodies but they make time for what is important.
9. “That’s not important…”
This statement has a tendency of devaluing team members.
10. “I don’t care” or “That’s not my problem”
Helping team members find solutions to problems is part of the job description of leaders.
11. “You are not as good as you think” or “You are lucky to even be here”
If a leader needs to remind a team member how great his or her job is then it is not that great to begin with.
12. “We have always done it that way”
Through that statement, leaders emphasize that there is no room for improvement or innovation.
Last words of advice!
When you have said a few annoying things, you can always recover by:
Being aware of your words.
Observing the impact of your words
Admitting your mistakes.
Calmly explaining yourself.
Letting go and moving on.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
Most people don’t share their ideas or go after what they truly want because they are afraid of rejection and don’t know how to use the right words at the right time…
Below are 23 magical phrases that will get you to start conversations, share ideas, influence people, assist people in taking decisions and achieve personal success.
1. “I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But”
This phrase is an opening statement, used to introduce a person, an idea, product or service, to remove pressure and to spike interest without going through rejection.
2. “How Open-Minded Are You?”
In general, people love to think of themselves as open-minded. Everybody wants to be open-minded.
Before making any statement, asking people whether or not they are open-minded allows you to introduce new ideas, gain their support, and having them agree with you.
3. “What Do You Know?”
When sharing ideas, some people feel the need to be right or demonstrate that they know best. By finding out what the other person knows before sharing your knowledge, this statement helps you overcome preconceptions, avoid debates and arguments when trying to share new concepts.
4. “How Would You Feel If?”
“How Would You Feel If?” allows you to understand what motivates people and what emotions trigger their decision making process.
The truth is that emotions and motivation tactics are used in all “areas of negotiation, influence and persuasion”.
Indeed, motivation is a reason to step into action and emotions are reason enough to make a decision.
Used effectively, motivation and emotions can be used to make people step into action.
5. “Just Imagine”
“Just Imagine” is employed to use people’s creative mind, to prop people into action by setting a powerful preface and to bring a decision into reality.
People tend to imagine the outcome of a decision in their mind before actually implementing that decision in reality.
That is why sharing a story before asking someone to make a decision is helpful and creates a picture in the mind of the other person.
6. “When Would Be a Good Time?”
This phrase prevents people from telling you that they don’t have the time to listen to you and subconsciously sets the idea that their will be a good time for you to make your point.
7. “I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To”
“I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To” is used when you want to indirectly ask someone whether or not they have gotten the time to do what you asked.
“I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To” allows the other person to feel proud if they have accomplished what you have asked for or it allows them to save face and it gives them the opportunity to step up to the plate.
8. Simple swaps
Asking open-ended questions instead of closed ended questions is more effective for conversation-making.
9. “You Have Three Options”
Presenting people with three options reduces their choices and subsequently helps them through the decision-making process.
10. “There are two types of people in this world”
“There are two types of people in this world” is a sentence that assists people in making up their minds by making wonder what kind of people they actually are, by reducing their choices and allowing them to choose.
11. “I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me”
“I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me” is an opening statement that gets people to quickly agree with you.
12. “If… Then”
“If you don’t do this, then this will happen!” are conditional statements that we have heard since childhood, that most people still believe in and that will guarantee an outcome.
13. “Don’t Worry”
This phrase helps in keeping a highly stressful situation under control and improve someone else’s level of anxiety.
14. “Most People”
Putting “Most People” in front of any sentence, when making a case, makes people feel confident about their decisions.
15. “The Good News”
“The Good News” puts a positive spin on a negative situation and shifts people’s perspective.
16. “What Happens Next”
This statement explains the next stages of the interaction and leads the conversation towards a conclusion.
17. “What Makes You Say That?”
“What Makes You Say That?” maintains control over the conversation, allows the other person to openly express their objections and make a decision.
18. “Before You Make Your Mind Up”
The phrase “Before You Make Your Mind Up” is useful to make someone change their minds, switch their refusal to a potential agreement.
19. “If I Can, Will You?”
Some people find excuses or reasons why they cannot go along with the suggested idea.
Asking “If I can do this for you, will you do this for me?” opens the door for more agreement.
Finding out what someone else considers to be enough can encourage them to agree with you or your concept.
21. “Just One More Thing”
The words “Just One More Thing” allow the continuation of the conversation and the introduction of an alternative idea.
22. “A Favor”
People secretly wish that someone would do them a favor and make their lives easier.
Therefore, when someone ask them for a favor, people oftentimes commit to the task at hand or tend to agree with the idea.
23. “Just Out of Curiosity”
“Just Out of Curiosity” provides clarity on the other person’s thought process.
In Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence andImpact, after years of studies, Phil M. Jones shares the chosen words that are able to create results, help influence and direct conversation. These 23 magical phrases could be used personally and professionally, in all areas of leadership, negotiation, and sales.
This book is recommended for people who:
Regularly speak for a living, who want to change the way they speak and are serious about their personal success.
Want to know what to say, how to say it and to whom in every situation.
Always wish to be prepared for almost every conversation.
Exactly What To Say: The Magic Words For Influence and Impact by Phil M. Jones is a demonstration of the power or words and the reason why they have to be used carefully.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
The subconscious brain is a powerful tool in decision-making because it is preprogrammed through our conditioning to make decisions without overanalyzing them.
Success in life and business is rarely achieved without the support of others. If you can do things that allow other people to help you achieve your goals, then the chances of you reaching them significantly increase.
Stress has a direct impact on the corporate culture, on the leader’s leadership style, performance, and health.
People express stress differently: some people get angry, some get exhausted and withdrawn, and others go into fight or flight mode.
11 Best Strategies For Leaders To Fight Workplace Stress
There are several ways to remain calm under pressure, manage your stress and use it to your advantage.
#1. Be more self-aware & develop your emotional discipline
It becomes critical to always take a step back from a situation, seek deeper insights in your thoughts and behaviors to identify stress triggers, weigh out the outcomes of the situation. How important is this situation for you?
On my last 9 to 5 job, I remember my manager complaining to me that I would no longer be part of the team because I am too different, I asked too many questions and I don’t act like them or watch the same TV shows that they do.
Now at the time, I thought I wasn’t getting it and that I was failing at adulting.
Clearly, if I wanted to be successful in life and in my career, I either had to fake it and drain myself, or I needed to find another path and distance myself from “them”.
The point is that most organizations want their employees to be different and have original skills.
However, the reality is that most workplaces adhere to group-thinking, and create outsiders by forcing them to suppress their individuality for conformity.
Wondering what are the benefits of being an outsider and how you can overcome that feeling?
What is an outsider?
An outsider is a person who doesn’t feel like they belong. At work, that feeling translates itself into:
Feeling unsuccessful. According to society, being a successful adult at work means being great at your job, understanding and applying social norms.
Being unable to join a group or to find someone who matches your values and principles to some extent.
Being unable to express yourself freely in meetings and around a group of people.
Being excluded out of meetings or out of group conversations. If you are perpetually being excluded and are subject to other workplace harassment, your workplace is toxic and you must consider your mental health first.
Why are you feeling the way you do?
We are social creatures. We crave that feeling of belonging to a group that will take care of us and that will cooperate for better chances of survival.
Therefore, to get things done, we feel like we must fit in, preserve our well-being and be liked. Furthermore, feeling like an outsider can stem from:
Differences in core values. For example, if most of your workplace like to gossip and you don’t, then you will start to feel excluded.
Generational gap. Each generation perceives the world differently and challenges the previous one. In one generation, people are shaped by social trends, are programmed with thoughts, values, moral ethics, models, examples of success and the guidelines to succeed.
What are the benefits of being an outsider?
I was brought up with the conviction that different is good. I believe that there are several ways of doing one thing.
So, I would never be thrown off if someone would go about life in an unconventional way. If you’re feeling like an outsider, chances are you:
Possess untapped talents and unused skills. Your feeling of being an outsider disappears when you find a place where you can exercise your gifts.
Understand that you don’t need to fit in to be successfuland don’t need to be one-dimensional to exist.
Acknowledge that feeling like an outsider is not a permanent nor unique situation. You can be the most wonderful person on this planet and still feel like an outsider.
Stop trying hard to fit in. The more you try, the more you feel drained, the more you will end up with the wrong crowd. You just have to be prepared for when the right opportunities and people come your way.
Assess your behavior and your thoughtstowards your situation. Then, document your situation. Are you new to the company? Are people enjoying your company? Are people including you? Are you reserved or standoffish? Do you like, respect or understand the people you work with?
Give yourself the time and space to explorewhat works for you, what you like and what you don’t like. There is no right place for you. You have to create your own space and not settle for less.
Express who you truly arefrom time to time and observe what happens next. You will either create or shut off opportunities.
Support people who think and act outside the box. People who think outside the box are usually creative and innovative.
Don’t pay attention to what people say about you. Don’t let external circumstances define you.
Stop people pleasing and seeking outside validation. Avoid adjusting your personality and your core values to please people. Instead, observe the social norms at work, see if you want to acquire these norms, and then adjust your communication style, your work style accordingly.
Otherwise, prepare an exit strategy.
Last words of Advice!
Sometimes, we have acquired all the diploma, all the skills for a job and still feel like an outsider.
Remember that there are benefits in not fitting in, that you are not failing, that you can be a leader and create your own path, that if you are not liked or included then you can be respected.
I have found that becoming an expert in your field will help you feel like you belong and will help you gain in credibility.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
The workplace can help us realize our potential but it can also trigger fight or flight responses in us, bring out our innermost insecurities. At work, as leaders so many things threaten our career goals, our promotions, our desires for success, our relationships and most importantly our sanity.
Leaders constantly feel the pressures of keeping up, of always being on top of everything. It is even a requirement that leaders project confidence, demonstrate optimism, or remain stoic in the face of events.
However, sooner or later, we end up sacrificing what we value most, solely keeping up with appearances, looking busy but being unproductive, spreading ourselves thin, doing sloppy work and not caring about people. Wondering what strategies to use to improve your well-being and work-life balance?
What is work-life balance?
Work is part of life: we spend most of our waking hours at work more than anything else. Needless to say, work and life are not opposite nor are they inseparable: lack of work-life balance has direct repercussions on our health, finances and families, creates fatigue, poor judgement, poor performance, high emotions.
Creating work-life balance is not giving equal attention to both work and life. But, it means that you are satisfied with your contributions to your life and work, that you are able to create a sustainable synergy between both so that you are fueled by them on a daily basis.
A healthy work-life balance can be motivated by life changing events or by a desire to do better. Work-life balance involves wise time management, self-discipline, and creates a better quantity to quality ratio.
Balancing work and life is hard but achievable because time is limited and we want to maximize our time the best we know how.
Benefits of a healthy work-life balance
A healthy work-life balance is an issue that mostly plagues millennials. To them, work should be enjoyable, emotionally and financially rewarding.
In many ways, it forces us to redefine success, our career and our relationships. It also helps us fulfill our needs, give us a profound sense of satisfaction, and become the best version of ourselves.
It allows you to create intention: you move with a clearly defined purpose. It is essential to manage your time and resources, level of commitment, to invest most of them in yourself and not in someone else’s dream.
It has the ability to increase job satisfaction, well-being, sense of self, self-awareness, effectiveness, adaptability, resilience, and creativity. It provides the tools to improve work performance, to revamp health, to maintain relationships, to appropriately deal with stress, and to avoid burnout.
How to create the best work-life balance?
Sometimes we are unable to distance ourselves from work because we feel indispensable to the organization, we feel threatened, or replaceable. Furthermore, achieving work-life balance is hard: some people, mostly high achievers, can feel guilty for taking time off and not investing it in their work.
However, an unhealthy work-life balance can lead to burn out, can trigger unexpected emotional outburst, heavily strain your physical and emotional well-being.
Burnout is hard to recover from. It hits you unexpectedly but is actually a slow burning process. Burnout is caused by overworking yourself, by a lack of recognition, by a lack of validation and chronic stress. It translates itself into feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness, dissatisfaction, despair, depressions, low self-esteem, feelings of being stuck and of failure.
In addition, it is detrimental to understand that living to work or sacrificing health and energy is not the way to succeed. To successfully create a healthy work-life balance:
Take care of yourself first and boost your leadership self-esteem from time to time. It is cliché but it is true: when you fly on airplane, you must put your mask on first before assisting others.
Be clear about your purpose. Identify the reasons why you are working, establish a personal mission statement or elevator speech.
Take back control of your time, your energy, thoughts and happiness. Strangely enough, we choose the life we want to live. We chose yesterday the life we are living today.
Be present and get out of autopilot mode. This will help you appreciate moments in your life and to think on your feet.
Assess your strengths and weaknesses to figure out where and how to apply them, to know when and how to say no and to get the most out of work.
Identify stressors, the things that fulfill you the most and those that don’t. What activities engage you the most? If your aren’t applying your strengths and interests at work, find areas outside of work to do so.
Prioritize what matters most, avoid multitasking, pay attention to the vital few, keep your life simple and don’t be afraid of missing out.
Align your daily activities in life and work with your values, principles.
During the day, clear out at least one hour to relax and empty out your mind. Try meditation and a new sport. If it is not working, give yourself the space and the time to explore new things.
Reduce your commuting time or avoid commuting during peak hours if possible.
Dedicate more hours to sleep. Sleep is a cure for many diseases. It helps to eliminate bad toxins, to increase your focus and your job performance.
Challenge your core habits and deal with change one at a time. Implementing a successful work-life balance can be overwhelming at first but it makes sense in the long run.
Promote well-being in the workplace. Dedicate a specific space for work only, decorate your office with things you enjoy, be playful without being frivolous, show your employees that you take vacations and encourage them to do the same.
Stop focusing on analytics, metrics, meetings and deadlines to measure your self-worth.
After work, reward yourself, leave work for the workplace and concentrate on your family and friends when you are with them.
Help your employees understand that their health, well-being is more important to their productivity. That being said, monitor the most ambitious and driven employees to make sure they don’t burnout or literally work themselves to death.
Value your employees and show your appreciation for their hard work.
Don’t burden your employees with heavy workload and unreachable deadlines.
Allow flexible hours and other activities in the workplace.
Put the power of internet to good use and allow people to work from home. Employees working from home are more productive, have reduced commuting time, have less stress, are not constantly bothered by events in the office. It also allows the organization to save money on energy consumption and office space.
Seek external help if needed.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
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