They say, when you get to work, leave your feelings at the door.
I mean, that’s what they say…
In the workplace, most conflicts exist because of a gap in values.
Indeed, at work, you rub elbow with people who don’t necessary have the same values as you do.
Conflicts can simply result in one’s definition of work ethic or quality of work.
For instance, your feelings can easily be hurt by some people are less efficient and need extra hours, some are workahalics and do it for the love of work, some don’t care about the job or the work they put out…
In addition, your feelings can also be hurt by short deadlines or the way someone talk to you.
Leaders have different ways of getting out of these feelings.
1. They remember who they are
They don’t get lost in the drama of their feelings.
Instead, they separate themselves from their work.
Even if their feelings have been hurt at work, they separate their identity from their work.
2. They take responsibility
They realize that they are responsible only for themselves and for how they feel.
They acknowledge that they can only control of themselves.
3. They confront themselves and the situation
Confrontation always has the negative connotation of conflict, drama and unresolved issues.
However, confrontation can also be facing the situation head on and examining the situation for what it is.
You don’t necessarily have to go face to face with someone to solve an issue especially when we’re talking about values:
You may have to confront yourself and ask yourself why you are feeling these feelings.
You may have to assess the situation and ask yourself why is this situation triggering these emotions.
4. They stay on goal
One way leaders get out of their feelings is by having solid and clear goals that will keep them focused on something other than themselves.
5. They use humour
Leaders who have a sense of humour take life with a grain of salt and have a tendency to get out of their feelings faster than
6. They use affirmations
Words of affirmations remind people of who they are and who they want to be.
They remind leaders of the principles that they
Last Words Of Advice
Don’t forget to use your relationships, your hobbies, your favorite activities or exercise to help you shift your mindset.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
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Difficult people are everywhere and often demonstrate difficult behavior.
Their behavior can be overtly hostile and aggressive or passive and dismissive.
They can drain you and break you out of your character because they may act differently than you expect or apply a system of belief you don’t abide to.
Discerning whether or not they are being spitefully or involuntarily difficult is quite tricky.
1. Calmly walk away from difficult people
Some people are difficult even impossible all the goddamn time for no clear reason and will drain you of your energy and even destroy your life, no matter what you do.
In these circumstances, it becomes detrimental to walk away from the situation, to make a clean break and focus on the positives to come.
2. Try and understand the difficult person
To understand difficult people, you must first start by identifying your values, expectations of people and system of belief.
You must also understand that you have legal and personal rights to defend.
Often times, our expectations of how people should act and treat us are what create misunderstanding, conflict and resentments.
If your expectations are too high, you will be let down in some fashion and if they are too low, you will be disrespected.
If your expectations are too rigid or unrealistic, you will suffer the consequences and involuntarily create difficult people.
Instead, don’t place any expectations on anyone but expect a positive outcome.
3. Take responsibility for your own reaction
Taking responsibility for your reactions will help you manage your emotions, gain control over a situation, direct and influence others.
It will also help you reframe your mindset and not play victim to your circumstances.
4. Learn what to say and what not to say to a difficult person
You can start by actively listening to them and then by finding out what to say and not to say.
Actively listening does not mean that you are actively agreeing with their point of view or that you are endorsing their opinion but it means that you are willing to acknowledge what they have said and to understand them.
Learning what to say or not to say is about being assertive, standing your ground, choosing how to respond to a situation, thinking about consequences, setting limits and finding an appropriate solution.
5. Deal with the difficult behavior and not the person
Learn to be assertive, to gain a solid sense of self, to stand your ground, to communicate your needs clearly and confidently.
Not asserting yourself and accommodating a difficult person will only lead them to disrespect you further and
Review
How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life by Gill Hasson serves as a practical guide to become more assertive, confident, courageous and to think strategically when it comes to dealing with difficult people.
How To Deal With Difficult People: Smart Tactics For Overcoming The Problem People In Your Life explores situations in life and at work that we have dealt with and still have to deal with.
Gill Hasson puts many challenging situations into perspective and provides solutions to problems.
On the long run, difficult people are toxic and corrosive. It is detrimental to carefully monitor the impact of these types on individuals on our lives, mental and physical health.
Some of them enjoy creating chaos and toxicity around them and others do so involuntarily.
Sometimes, we are able to put physical distance between yourself and difficult people.
Other times, because of our work situation or familial reasons, we have to put up with them and have to find different ways to put up with them.
Gill Hasson puts many challenging situations into perspective and provides solutions to problems.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Favorite quote(s)
The thing is you can’t directly change other people’s behaviour; the only thing you can change is how you respond and deal with it.
In the past, you may have thought that there was only one or two ways to do this: either grit your teeth and hope that they’ll stop being so difficult, that things will improve, or get the difficult person to see just how difficult they’re being.
Both of these approaches are unlikely to fix the problem. In the case of gritting your teeth and hoping things will improve… they won’t. In the case of getting them to see
just how difficult they’re being, that’s unlikely too.
Even if a confident person feels anxious about dealing with difficult people, they don’t let fear and anxiety paralyse them: they deal with other people and situations despite their fears or worries. They recognize they have to start somewhere, however apprehensive they are.
You can’t control what others think about you, so leave them to their own judgements.
Below are the 6 best leadership and self help books that you can read right now to develop your sense of direction, find your most authentic self and achieve your goals!
Wondering what are the best leadership books to read before this year comes to an end?
1. Grit By Angela Duckworth
Grit is nothing more than a combination of courage, passion and perseverance.
In her book Grit, Angela Duckworth interviews a series of leaders from all walks of life whose grit has helped them succeed and whose stories will surely inspire you.
2. How To Win Friends & Influence People By Dale Carnegie
In How To Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie gives practical advice on how to successfully attract people, convert their way of thinking towards our ideas, on how to be more confident, achieve more and reach your highest potential in life thanks to your relationships.
3. The Little Book Of Big Lies By Tina Lifford
In The Little Book Of Big Lies, Tina Lifford gives helpful advice for you to build up your inner self and shares fourteen real life stories to help you move on from trauma and your past.
4. Year Of Life By Shonda Rhimes
In her funny memoir Year Of Life, Shonda Rhimes shares her poignant life story and her journey towards personal success.
Throughout her book, she makes you laugh but also reflect on the power of saying yes, of continually staying positive and focused.
5. The Magic Of Thinking Big By David J. Schwartz
David J. Schwartz teaches us throughout The Magic Of Thinking Big to:
Think big and set bigger than life goals.
Overcome our fear of failure by actually accomplishing our goals.
Fail forward and trust the process.
6. The Obstacle Is The Way By Ryan Holiday
In The Obstacle Is The Way,Ryan Holiday employs the lessons of Greek philosophy to help you see past your failures and obstacles.
He encourages you to persevere no matter what and to apply a certain stoicism to most of your life situations.
Last Words Of Advice!
Each one of these books demonstrate ways to achieve long term success, accomplish your dreams and figure out a solution to every single one of your problems.
To top it all off, these books also exhibit great examples of people who have remained optimistic and creative in the face of challenges.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!
Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.
Journey To Leadership is now hosting networking events…
Give people the opportunity to make decisions for themselves and to correct themselves.
Don’t hurt people’s self-esteem and don’t diminish them in their own eyes
Review
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie aims to educate adults into building healthy relationships and climbing up the social ladder.
Dale Carnegie shares contemporaneous and pragmatic principles that serve as guidelines for leaders who wish to network and grow their social capital.
Most of these principles are essential to life as much as the business world and will increase your skill in human relationship.
However, Dale Carnegie promotes the praising or “sucking up” game and uses the term “friend” very loosely.
That is because most of the principles are geared towards the business world and most of his examples are taken from people who have successfully implemented these principles.
Unfortunately, praises don’t work on everybody and is not a solution to all problems.
Let me know below what you think about this book!
Favorite quote(s)
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.
But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for.
Credibility, the quality or power to inspire trust and belief, is essential and strategic to career evolution.
Credibility is so difficult to acquire and to maintain but so quick and easy to lose.
Credibility is 45% how you look, 45% how you sound and 10% what you say.
In agreement with McCroskey, scholar in West Virginia University, there are five factors of credibility:
1. Competence
This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to champion the company’s vision, engage in innovation, focus on performance and results, and to build a high performance organization.
With competence, an employee is able to explain concept with the appropriate message and to calibrate a message to a specific listener.
Credibility is easily lost if someone:
Is not understanding or is reacting inappropriately to an issue at hand.
Is lacking better judgement in order to make the right decisions.
Reflects too long before making a decision.
2. Character
This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to foster a climate of innovation, to foster and model the company’s values.
Credibility is easily lost if someone:
Is lacking passion and drive for their work
Is arrogant. This character flaw can be corrected by changing your words when addressing your colleagues, expressing interest in them, asking for advice, listening more in conversations and sharing your personal weaknesses.
Cannot manage emotions very well.
Has it out for some people in their organization.
3. Composure
This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to manage workforce performance and delegate appropriately.
Credibility is easily lost if someone:
Is not timely (not punctual with deliveries, appears frantic and rushing,…).
Cannot manage emotions very well.
Maneuver their body language to manifest their belonging.
Decorate and manage their personal space.
Does not look the part by not applying the company’s dress code, by not grooming oneself when coming to work or even by not working out.
4. Sociability
This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to demonstrate interpersonal skills.
5. Extroversion
Extroversion as defined in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).
This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to passionately drive the company’s strategy.
Review
So Smart But…: How Intelligent People Lose Credibility – And How They Can Get It Back by Allen K. Weiner is a self-development book is very relatable, accurate and was very difficult to read since I have met up with most of the scenarios and possess some of the corporate personality flaws discussed in this book.
Allen N. Weiner, in So Smart But…, provides tips on how to preserve and enhance your credibility in the workplace.
Furthermore, every argument is properly illustrated with realistic workplace scenario and is not gender biased.
According to Allen N. Weiner, to climb the social ladder, it seems that one needs to :
comply to too many non written rules, indicative of a rigid and intolerant society that is the corporate world. Is it possible to apply every single one of these rules to the cost of spreading oneself very thinly?
be likeable to succeed when, in my opinion, likeability can only take you so far. Indeed, in my experience, it is preferable and more effective to be respected in corporate culture because being liked puts you on equal footing with your pairs, constitutes additional emotional work and subjects you to fluctuating and random external opinion. Nevertheless, according to Allen N. Weiner, people who are not liked are trying to find excuses instead of trying to be liked.
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