The Importance Of Forgiveness In Leadership

When you are a leader, you go head first into battle, experience joy, success, hurt, failure and disappointment.

Contrary to popular belief, being prone to forgiveness does not make you a weak leader or doesn’t mean that you have forgotten.

Forgiving someone who has harmed you is some way is difficult because you might think that you are giving them a pass, that you are being weak, you are giving in too easily, giving them your power, you don’t love or respect yourself.

Actually, by not forgiving they are holding power over you because nursing negative emotions is only harming you.

Wondering how important is forgiveness in leadership and how to forgive?

The Importance Of Forgiveness In Leadership #leader #leadership #forgiveness #peaceofmind #selfimprovement #selfdevelopment #selfawareness #serenity #JourneyToLeadership

The benefits of forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful and efficient tool.

Forgiveness is an often overlooked, undervalued gift but it requires strength, character, emotional intelligence and self awareness. Forgiveness is an active process.

It allows you to reach a state of inner calm to put negative memories at rest and get rid of negative emotions. Indeed, after forgiving, you feel re-energized, empowered, free and present.

In addition, forgiveness helps to resolve conflicts, move forward, promote creativity, build trust and relationships.

Forgiving leaders encourage risk taking, authenticity, collaboration and dissenting voices in the workplace.

Lack of forgiveness in the workplace can heavily affect employee morale, retention, productivity, satisfaction, innovation and cohesion. It can create a toxic workplace.

How to forgive?

People have different values and motives in life. They would not hesitate to hurt you to get what they want, to shift blame and judge. To forgive:

  • Avoid shifting blame. Take accountability for your actions and take back control of your emotions. When you forgive, you are no longer a victim nor do you become a persecutor.

  • Acknowledge what has happened, be compassionate with yourself and give yourself time to recover.
  • Own and learn from your mistakes before you make them again.
  •  Remember that you cannot control the behavior of others and you can only control yours.
  • In the words of Don Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements, don’t take it personally. It is hard to cope when someone’s anger is directed at you. However, their bad behavior has nothing to do with you but everything to do with their insecurities or they are doing the best with the tools that they have.

  • See an opportunity to grow and see this as a challenge.

  • Understand that all situations can be resolvedDo what you can, if you can, to repair the situation. If you need to talk it through, have an honest conversation.

  • Envision what will happen to your emotions, mind, self esteem if you don’t forgive.
  • As a leader, encourage forgiveness in the workplace and be a model for forgiveness.

  • Don’t let this negative event or negative emotion define you.
  • Focus on the positive. When we are pushed in a negative situation we can only see the person in a negative light.

  • Create new positive memories. Leave the past in the past.
  • Be grateful for that experience.

Last Words Of Advice!

The hardest thing is self forgiveness. Our inner voice is most critical of our decisions, actions and thoughts.

If you are the one who has hurt someone else:

  • Be honest with yourself
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Remember that what goes around comes around.
  • Think of how you would want to be treated in that moment and if you would have wanted a second chance.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

 

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13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success

There comes a time when leaders feel stuck in a rut, unable to solve problems or constantly being blindsided by events.

That is because they lack wisdom and character, they don’t have the appropriate knowledge of themselves and of the situation.

13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success #success #books #bookreview #leader #leadership

Books provide valuable information for leaders to grow and to improve themselves.

Reading has to play an important part in leadership.

The following books will help you improve your self-awareness, develop your character, build your vision and your purpose.

1. The Alchemist

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Author: Paulo Coelho

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Alchemist outlines the journey of a leader.

It teaches us to be ourselves and to follows our heart and gut.

It reminds us that failure always brings us closer to our success and that all we need is already within us.

 

2. The Four Agreements

 

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

He encourages us to be impeccable with our words, to not take anything personally, to not making assumptions and to do our best.

3. Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

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Author: Kim Scott

Ratings 3/5

In Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, Kim Scott reveals ways to be truthful, to develop candid relationships.

Being truthful without being a bully is difficult. Candor comes with risks but it will determine your level of success in the long run.

4. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

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Author: Amy Cuddy

Ratings: 3.5/5

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy gives advice on managing nonverbal cues to induce Presence, identifying your best authentic self, nurturing your boldest self, and creating personal power.

It is useful for leaders who want to get in touch with their best self.

5. H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.

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Author: Brad Lomenick

Ratings: 4/5

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.Brad Lomenick draws conclusions from his personal leadership style and allies spirituality with leadership.

He shares various tips on being a better leader. He also urges us to define who we are, to identify where you are going and how you will get there.

6. Principles: Life and Work

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Author: Ray Dalio

Ratings: 3/5

Dalio shares many principles to navigate life and work.

Ray Dalio encourages us to stay open-minded, to find and speak truth in order to live a healthier lifestyle, to meet our goals and to handle setbacks.

 

7. Tribes: We need you to lead us

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Author: Seth Godin

Ratings: 3/5

In Tribes: We need you to lead us, Seth Godin declares that everybody wants and needs to belong to a tribe.

He also demonstrates how challenging the status quo is a simple way to create your own tribe, to build your fellowship, to define your leadership without forcing people.

 

8. No One Understands You and What To Do About It

 

Author: Heidi Grant Halvorson

Ratings: 4/5

In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood.

She also gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.

 

9. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

 

Author: Marshall Goldsmith

Ratings: 4/5

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More SuccessfulMarshall Goldsmith helps you identify all the 21 bad behaviors that are currently holding you back from success.

He also provides different solutions so you develop your character and be your best self at work.

 

10. Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

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Author: Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Ratings 3/5

Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg list all the common self-defeating habits that we have acquired in life and have brought to work.

In order to achieve success, they show us how to get out our own way, how to stop self-sabotaging, how and what to change.

11. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less

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Author: Greg Mckeown

Ratings: 4/5

Essentialism is a thought process that drives success, that improves your decisions making and time management skills.

In Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less, Greg Mckeown replaces the false assumptions that we can do it all, that being busy means being productive, that we must accept every single opportunity that comes our way.

12. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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Author: Daniel H. Pink

Ratings: 4/5

In Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Daniel H. Pink shows us that people are not motivated by common external factors such as money or fame. 

Daniel H. Pink reveals that people’s behaviors are mostly driven by purpose, passion, autonomy, a need for self-improvement and for self-imposed goals.

Leaders can use that innate drive to increase productivity, improve performance and build stronger teams.

13. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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Author: Angela Duckworth

Ratings 3/5

In Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Duckworth defines Grit as a combination of resilience, determination, purpose and passion. 

According to Angela Duckworth, anyone can acquire grit. Furthermore, people with grit are more successful than people who are talented but who don’t put in work.

 

 

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14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

You do not have to be famous, be a millionaire or own a company in the Fortune 500 to be a successful leader.

A successful leader runs a successful business with a healthy return on investment with the help of a successful team.

A successful leader is able to mentally, emotionally, physically and financially provide for his or her team.
Wondering what are the main traits a successful leader?

14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

To become a successful leader, there are a few traits that you need to develop.

The traits of succesful leaders can be acquired anytime in life.

However, it is up to you to maintain them. It will also require a lot of self-discipline, self-motivation and self-awareness.

Trait #1. Successful leaders lead a healthy lifestyle

First and foremost, successful leaders are morning people.

They get a good night sleep.

They wake up early in the morning.

They choose to rise with the sun because it gives them time to think, to meditate, to plan their day.

Furthermore, they eat well and on time.

them, they exercise early in the morning to maintain their physical health, and to get rid of lingering negativity.

Trait #2. Successful leaders have strong conviction

They have the conviction that they are successful and that they will succeed no matter what.

Their conviction comes from their self-awareness, drive, purpose and their strong core values.

They have integrity and hold on to their principles.

They know that they can accomplish anything that they set their mind to.

They rely on their intuition, make their own opinion and don’t follow anyone.

Trait #3. Successful leaders manage their time effectively

They know how to manage their time and prioritize their tasks.

They are willing to handle the most difficult, most important and the most urgent first.

They say no to things that don’t matter to them or to things that don’t fit into the bigger picture.

Trait #4. Successful leaders value solitude

They regularly spend time alone to reflect and to get work done.

Trait #5. Successful leaders own up to their mistake

Indeed, they make mistakes.

They can admit when they have done wrong and can apologize for it.

They reward themselves for their successes and above all learn from their failures.

Trait #6. Successful leaders take calculated risks

They take risks, get out of their comfort zones, recognize what works and what doesn’t.

Trait #7. Successful leaders ask for feedback

They ask for feedback, actively listen to it, and if the feedback is sound, seek to apply it.

Trait #8. Successful leaders set boundaries

They have set clear boundaries in their mind early on.

They know what they need, want, wish for.

They also know what they will not allow or stand for.

They know how to say no and stand their ground.

Trait #9. Successful leaders obsess positively

Leaders spend their time obsessing positively.

By “obsessing positively”, I mean they are passionate and they can focus their attention on their goals for a prolonged amount of time.

Basically, they eat, drink, sleep, think their goals.

Trait #10. Successful leaders have a healthy work life balance

Even though they can obsess over their professional goals, they make time for a personal life.

They make sure to maintain a healthy work life balance.

Trait #11. Successful leaders are optimistic

They are grateful for what they have but are not complacent.

They do not dwell on negativity and CHOOSE to focus on positivity.

They don’t overthink or overanalyze everything.

They don’t play the victim and take responsibility for their actions.

They handle change, failures and pressure gracefully.

They see challenges as an opportunity to learn and they maintain a positive attitude in adversity.

Trait #12. Successful leaders are whole

Their self-esteem does not depend on what others think of them.

They don’t compare their lives with the ones of other people.

They don’t judge but empathize with other people.

They don’t insult but compliment people.

They don’t abuse their authority or power.

They don’t hug the spotlight but give credit when credit is due.

They do not need to harm someone else to feel superior or to feel whole.

They know who, how and when to forgive.

Moreover, they want to see others succeed. They encourage others to grow, to succeed and reach their full potential.

Trait #13. Successful leaders are wise beyond their years

They have a deep understanding of life and of themselves.

They can assess a situation and its outcome before engaging in it.

They have identified their purpose early in life and every decision that they make can be justified.

Trait #14. Successful leaders are learning machines

They are open-minded.

They are always learning, always evolving and always growing.

They understand that learning is a never-ending process, no matter their age or status.

On the flip side, they constantly want to share their knowledge with the world.

Last Words Of Advice!

Successful people inspire and act as role models for others and for their own organization.

Therefore, be mindful of your actions and of your words.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott

Being a boss is a full-time job and is not as easy as it seems.

The truth is, being the boss can be an emotional rollercoaster.

It requires maturity, focus and emotional discipline, especially when dealing with people.

That is why Kim Scott has established a few principles that can help bosses create a culture of candor, build stable relationships and evolve into great bosses.

According to Kim Scott, managers, leaders or bosses:

  1. Achieve results.
  2. Deal with people.
  3. Express what they think.
  4. Build and guide cohesive teams.
  5. Accept and give fair and candid feedback.

As you can see, Kim Scott makes no distinction between a boss, a leader and a manager because eventually, they have to assume different roles and master different skills at different moments.

They all have to find out a way to get what they want by saying what they mean.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

Radical Candor_ Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott (2)

Why and how to build relationships?

The relationships you have with your team determine your level of success, company culture, and performance.

To build great relationships that will help your business:

  • Take care of yourself first.
  • Stay centered and create a healthy work life balance.
  • Find out what works best for you and apply it.
  • Care personally about people.
  • Respect boundaries and people physical space. It is detrimental to find a balance between creating personal yet professional bonds.
  • Spend time alone with your team members.
  • Stay true to your values and share them if possible.
  • Be transparent and aware of your emotions.
  • Discipline your reactions. Learn to respond and not react.

Why and how to build a great team?

People’s motivations are personal.

Every team member can be exceptional, they just have to find the right fit and the right motivations.

Needless to say, work life is better when your team loves what they do.

To build a great team:

  • Get to know the people on your team. Focus more on them than on results.
  • Understand people’s strength and weaknesses, identify how they tick and how their job fits into their life plan.
  • Avoid micromanaging or ignoring your team members.
  • Allocate as much time to those who are struggling as the top performers.
  • Listen to your team members, learn to incorporate their thinking into yours, and give them the opportunity to complain, share ideas, and raise issues. This way, you will create a culture of innovation.

Why and how to accept/give feedback?

Feedback is an uncomfortable process. To accept and give proper feedback:

  • Earn your team’s trust.
  • Listen more than you speak.
  • Understand what motivates your team and help them avoid burnout or boredom.
  • Understand your audience and adapt to it.
  • See feedback as an act of guidance and don’t make it personal.
  • Solicit feedback especially in private conversations and outside of meetings.
  • Voice your own disagreements. Speak up when things are not going well.
  • Take responsibility fo your actions and admit when you have made a mistake
  • Discern the truth from a lie when it comes to feedback.
  • Be humble in your delivery and state that you want to help.

Why and how to achieve results?

Every boss wants results. To achieve results:

  • Have frequent one on one conversation with your team and with a positive mindset. Have a one on one conversation with your team members to get to know them, to solve problems effectively and to help you understand what is working and what is not.
  • Create key metrics to measure progress. Write down any possible updates.
  • Create meetings where you can debate, encourage new ideas and make big decisions.
  • Test out the feasibility of the ideas you have received.

Review

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott is a step by step guide on how to be a candid boss.

It is about building candid relationships with the people you work with and about using your humanity as a leadership tool.

Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean By Kim Scott essentially takes the pressure off leaders.

The principles shared expose candor as a management tool, put bosses at ease and help them understand that there is more to being a boss than giving orders.

In addition, the principles shared remove fear, self-doubt and anxiety, then create an understanding regarding the role of a boss.

Furthermore, Kim Scott uses her own experiences at Google and Adsense to drive the conversation and to illustrate her ideas about radical candor.

She provides amazing tools and techniques to implement in order to be a great boss and to have a healthy relationship with your direct reports.

Her tools and techniques are detailed and are not exclusive to bosses.

Finally, the best thing about this book is that you can tell that Kim Scott cares about the career advancement and the emotional health of every boss.

Through radical candor, she demonstrates how to improve all aspects of your work life.

You don’t have to implement every tool or technique right away.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

In order to build a great team, you need to understand how each person’s job fits into their life goals

The way you treat people determines whether you’ll get their best effort, a perfunctory effort, or an effort to sabotage you.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Kim Scott

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Unfortunately, we have all experienced toxic leadership at some point in our career.

Toxic workplaces and toxic leadership foster because the leader is either encouraging it, participating in it or ignoring it.

Toxic leaders are corrosive on the long run. They erode their employees confidence, motivation, productivity, trust, loyalty and respect.

Wondering if you are a toxic leader or are in the presence of one?

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

12 Signs Of A Toxic Leader

#1. Toxic leaders retain useful information

Knowledge is power and toxic leaders know that.

The longer they can keep you in the dark, the longer they have control over you and the longer they stay in power.

In fact, leaders who retain information are insecure and are afraid of being replaced.

#2. Toxic leaders abuse their power and authority

Any chance that they get, toxic leaders need to remind you that they are in power and that they have leverage (financial leverage most of the time) over you.

This type of leaders have huge egos, consider that their employees are subordinates, and do not care who they have to step over to get what they want.

#3. Toxic leaders micromanage their employees

They don’t give people the time or the space to do their job. Instead, they breath down people’s neck.

In fact, micromanaging leaders are counterproductive and create a stressful work environment.

Which, in turn, slows down team work and efficiency.

#4. Toxic leaders condone poor behavior

They accept poor behavior from their team as long as the team produces results.

For example, they would tolerate workplace bullying if it would bring their team closer together.

In turn, they use fear and diverse punishments to incentivize their team.

#5. Toxic leaders manipulate and play aggressive office politics

They play mind games, use information about you against you, love to manipulate and gas light their own team just to stay in power and to advance their career.

#6. Toxic leaders shift responsibility

They talk about accountability but when push comes to shoves they avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

Besides, when things are great, they take credit for your success. When things go bad, they question your abilities and your failures.

#7. Toxic leaders give orders and don’t expect feedback

For them, it is their way or the high way.

They expect you to follow orders whether that order is right or wrong, whether that order benefits them or not.

The truth is they think that they know best but they actually don’t.

#8. Toxic leaders lie for no reason

They backtrack, bend the rules, adjust procedures, make up stories and rumors to for their needs.

They do not care about the impact of their words and create a culture of distrust.

#9. Toxic leaders protect the status quo

They deeply believe in hierarchy.

They don’t promote change or push innovative ideas.

In addition, they are locked in a particular era, in a particular setting. They don’t wish to modernize or adapt to change.

#10. Toxic leaders are overly emotional

They dramatize everything, have a temper and haven’t got a hold of it.

Their mood usually fluctuates throughout the day.

As a result, their behavior makes people walk on eggshells around them.

#11. Toxic leaders are passive aggressive

Either they play nice to your face and stab you in the back.

Or, they hold their feelings in and act it out instead.

Passive aggressiveness is very difficult to deal with as they don’t offer you any type of resolve.

#12. Toxic leaders lack core values

These leaders are entitled and self-serving.

They do not care about people and put their own interest first, no matter what.

Last Words Of Advice!

Toxic leaders often scare away their best employees.

Toxic leaders are simply fooling themselves because they live in constant fear.

They are afraid of losing control, of losing power, of seeming inferior, of being replaceable…

Furthermore, they let their fear control them and influence their behavior.

It is not necessary for you to play into their hands:

  • Learn from your experiences, about yourself and your limits. You can always extract lessons from a negative experience.
  • Emotionally and physically discipline yourself. Don’t lose your cool. By loosing your cool, you are giving them power over you.
  • Don’t take things personally and don’t let their problems become yours. It’s not about you but it’s all about them.
  • Find emotional support outside of work.
  • Keep your dignity. Don’t let other people actions define your character.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

10 Things Every New Leader Should Do

When you are a leader, people will be watching your every moves like a hawk.

So, there are a couple of things to do and not to do in order to be unimpeachable and to represent your true self well.

Sometimes, the novelty of the job, the number of people you meet, the quantity of information transiting in your direction, the new type of pressure tend to make you forget your role as a leader.

The truth is that you do during your first few days as a leader will mark memories in the long run.

10 Things Every New Leader Should Do

10 Things Every New Leader Should Do

#1. Create work-life balance

Congratulations on your new position!

  1. Take a moment to drain it all in and celebrate success. When you access a new position, you are either frightened or excited.
  2. Take some time to assess your new role and the advancement in your career, on your success.
  3. Get your personal life together. Have hobbies and a strong support system in place.
  4. Prepare your transition to your new position.

#2. Mind your character

When you meet someone for the first time, they will have a tendency to test you, your principles, character, core values and boundaries.

For example, from your boss to the cleaning lady, they will all check if you get angry easily or his much patience you have.

It is important to always be developing yourself as a leader.

#3. Check your attitude

A positive attitude is everything and will determine your heights to success. During the first few months, it is detrimental to:

  1. Stay visible.
  2. Adopt a winning strategy.
  3. Be aware of your actions. You are now a role model.
  4. Keep a positive attitude and body language, even when you don’t feel like it.

#4. Be approachable

Sometimes, it’s important to seem approachable:

  1. Introduce yourself to people even if you don’t know them or are not introduced. Don’t wait too long before introducing yourself or else it will quickly get awkward.
  2. Remember names when you are being introduced.
  3. Try to get along with people for the first few days.
  4. Help others find their motivation.

#5. Groom yourself and dress like a leader

No matter what people say, first impressions matter unfortunately. Dressing like a leader will help you feel confident and will in consequence increase your ability to lead.

Even though you know that clothes don’t define your character, most people make snap judgments.

Also, observe the company’s dress code and dress accordingly.

#6. Keep learning

Learning is a humbling process. Even though new leaders think that they can handle their position with their old skills and their old knowledge, most of them don’t have the necessary skills to be a leader.

  1. Make sure that you study and learn the corporate culture.
  2. Evaluate what you have learned from your previous jobs and from the previous one in your position.
  3. Ask questions even if they make you look or feel incompetent.
  4. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to perform.
  5. Don’t stop learning. Not because you have reached a leadership position that you have to stop learning and stop asking questions.

#7. Build relationships

Building the right relationships is a cultural key to success.

To quickly build relationships and to grow your network, put your interpersonal skills to the test and make a positive first impression.

#8. Watch out for office politics

Office politics in the first few days is risky.

  1. Be mindful of office politics and the cliques that already exist.
  2. Choose your clicks wisely you want to belong to. Do not try to belong to a group in particular or try to be friends with their former colleagues.
  3. Keep your opinion about your colleagues and your work to yourself. There is nothing more disgraceful than a gossiping leader that nobody can trust.
  4. Find out how your new team operated in the past.

#9. Assess your strengths and weaknesses 

You do not want to reach these heights and find out that the positions is not made for you, that you are not capable of achieving success, job fulfillment, job satisfaction.

  1. Understand that different skills will be demanded in your new role. What got you here won’t get you there.
  2. Make sure that you really want this position and that it’s right for you.
  3. Get a hold on your purpose. You will know if you are walking in your purpose by the amount of joy you experience while executing your purpose.

#10. Earn your respect

In your first few months:

  1. Do not try to be liked but to be respected. This is an advice for mostly women who have to annoyingly smile and forcefully be polite.
  2. Don’t be too quick to use your new authority or power.
  3. Start taking responsibility for your actions.
  4. Share your core values and set high expectations for performance, results, conduct, alignment and engagement.
  5. Give respect. Find out where your role starts and ends. There is no need to step on anybody’s toes.

Last Words Of Advice!

The first months are the right time to set right habits.

  1. Don’t stop growing and expect discomfort.
  2. Remember that you are the one who makes the decision.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

15 Edifying Experiences That Help Leaders Learn To Lead

The best leaders develop their skills on the field and learn from their experience.

They acknowledge that they do not know everything, that their learning process is singular but they are curious and are open to learn.

It is common knowledge that experience is the best teacher. Your experiences will help you develop a leadership style, a communication style, core values, purpose, character and emotional discipline.

Wondering how and which experiences can teach you how to lead?

15 Edifying Experiences That Help Leaders Learn To Lead

25 Edifying Experiences That Help Leaders Learn To Lead

Through your experiences, if you take time out to extract the lessons from your experiences, you will become a wiser and successful leader.

#1. When You Fail

At some point in your career, you will fail as a leader or as a person. You will fail to meet deadlines, to perform or to succeed.

However, every leader knows that you cannot let failure define you and that you must go on.

Indeed, failure is most often seen in a negative light but shows you what you are really made of.

Failure are inevitable, are a factor for change, redirects your career, helps you change procedures and your character.

Experiencing failure teaches you to:

  • Be more self-aware.
  • Identify the cues of failure.
  • Don’t punish yourself for failures and forgive yourself.
  • Measure the consequences of the mistakes and take responsibility for the failure.
  • Encourage constructive criticism as much as feedback is given.
  • Make immediate analysis and changes to fix the mistakes.
  • Be smart and learn from the mistakes made.
  • Be wise and learn from the mistakes of others.
  • Create an environment that is safe to make mistakes and to recover from them.

Fail early, fail often, but always fail forward. - John C. Maxwell Click To Tweet

#2. When You Get Familiar With Positivity & Success

Positive experiences are highly memorable and can change your life forever.

Positive attitudes can become difficult to maintain in challenging situations in the workplace. But once acquired, it is a habit that can help you overcome bad situations.

Indeed, positivity ensures progress, diffuses situations, alleviates stress, reduces fear, increases endurance, increase self-esteem, attracts positive results and better opportunities.

There are many ways to bring positivity into the workplace and into your mind. When you get familiar with positivity and success, you learn to:

#3. When You Promote Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often seen as weakness in the workplace. However, it is an efficient tool to avoid toxic conflicts, boost productivity, motivation and well-being.

Truthfully, in the workplace, people are sensitive about their work, feelings get hurt easily and emotions get high. It becomes essential to:

  • Forgive yourself when you have wronged someone or yourself.
  • Forgive others for their wrongdoings as well.

Becoming a forgiving person will teach you to:

  • Be compassionate and to let things go.
  • Not define yourself by your mistakes.
  • Not focus on the past and to be present.
  • Do your best next time.

#4. When You Find A Role Model

A role model can be a family member, a friend, a coworker, or another leader.

Role models provide sound advice, ongoing feedback, emotional support, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, higher self-esteem, better focus, stronger confidence.

Emulating their thoughts and behavior can improve your mind and teach you how to lead.

Keep in mind that you can learn from a bad leader as much as a good leader.

#5. When You Enjoy Solitude

Solitude and leadership often go hand in hand.

That is because, though leaders have family, friends, mentors and large network, they are the ones making the ultimate decision for their organization and not everyone will agree with their decisions.

However, solitude can give you time to think, to understand who you are and how you want to lead.

Leadership is also having the power to stand alone.

Leadership is also having the power to stand alone. - Vanessa Sylvester Click To Tweet

#6. When You Find Your Purpose or Renew Your Vision

You need to know why you work and your team needs to know why they work for you.

It is the vision that leads you and propels you forward, that wakes you up in the morning, that drives your performance, that is communicated to your employees, that gives meaning to your actions and decisions, and that leans on your belief systems.

Leaders with a vision are ambitious and satisfied with their lives, become hopeful and optimistic about the future, invite change, and select their employees according to their strengths and not their weaknesses.

They are also daring and don’t fear failure, are emotionally invested in their goals, flexible, persistent, resistant to social pressure and are convinced of their future success.

With purpose, leaders can easily overcome adversity. - Vanessa Sylvester Click To Tweet

#7. When You Have To Chose Being Like Vs. Being Respected

I am sure that at some point, you have realized that you get more things done when your coworkers like you.

However, in these situations, you can quickly become a people pleaser and lose the respect of your coworkers.

There comes a time when you have to decide whether you want to be liked or to be respected.

#8. When You Experience Different Cultures

You have experienced different cultures and are now culturally sensitive.

Cultural sensitivity is being aware that everyone is not the same. It means being able to learn from different people, to understand their backgrounds, to collaborate and cooperate with them, without being judgmental.

Cultural sensitivity means viewing everyone as a unique individual. It promotes unity and has become a skill that is most useful in the world of today.

You are now capable of adapting your leadership and communication style to every single member of your team.

You are also capable of shifting the focus from yourself to your team.

#9. When You Thought You Knew It All 

Not because you are the leader, that you have all the solutions or are always right.

In fact, being a leader is being placed in a position of service and humility.

To be a humble leader:

  • Be confident about your own capabilities.
  • Take the time to think and to come up with a solution.
  • Understand that being a leader is not about being right.
  • Give people the time to think for themselves and to make their own mistakes.
  • Acknowledge that someone on your team may have better ideas than you do.
  • Learn to ask for help and to detect if someone needs help.
  • Learn to ponder your responses.

#10. When You Have Foot In The Mouth Syndrome

Sometimes, we say whatever comes to our mind.

Other times, we blurt out things that we don’t mean but we haven’t measured the real impact of our words.

In these moments, we understand that we should be quiet, that we should learn to speak less and listen more.

#11. When You Get Caught Up In Office Politics

Office politics is often badly perceived because it can be cruel, calculated and manipulative.

Sometimes, office politics is a dangerous and corrosive game but it is a game. It is part of human nature, a social activity, a marathon and not a sprint.

Other times, properly navigating office politics can give you access to leadership opportunities and promotion.

Once you have experienced office politics, you become aware of the power play, of how you speak and listen to people.

You start making sure that you are robust, are not dependent on people or other external factors, that you are emotionally detached from your work and that you can clearly separate your identity from your job.

#12. When You Have To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

We all have been exposed during a period of time to annoying, hateful, toxic coworkers who can drive us crazy.

Whether it’s confronting a team member about their behavior or their performance, toxic coworkers can take a toll on you.

However, it can also help you grow and become a better leader.

#13. When You Have Identified Your Core Leadership Values

Core values are principles that build your character and that define who you are deep down.

In life and in the workplace, your core values will definitely be put to the test.

For example, some people will not hesitate to lie on you or to sabotage your work to advance their career.

Consolidating your core leadership values requires hard work, determination, daily practice and self-discipline.

#14. When You Welcome Change

If you have experienced drastic change in the workplace, you know that is better not to resist it.

Change is a part of life, is a constant and is inevitable. Change shakes things up, disrupts old habits, breathes new life into the workplace and into any project.

Furthermore, it has the ability to stimulate interest in your job. It also creates an opportunity for promotion and to develop new skills.

Welcoming change teaches you to:

  • Be a catalyst for change and to champion innovation.
  • Regularly get outside of your comfort zone.
  • Handle feedback, setbacks and opportunities.

#15. When You Assist Training Programs

You have been to different seminars and courses and realized that you have acquired so much skills and tools in such short time.

You have also met like-minded people who understand you vision.

Last Words Of Advice!

There are various ways that a leader can learn new skills and can learn how to lead.

Every experience is an opportunity to test your skills and to learn some new ones.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

All day, we are bombarded with things that we are supposed to care about. In the end, we are made to think that we should care about those things.

Therefore, we constantly feel the need to look for better in order to impress, to feel insecure, to fake emotions, to compare ourselves with others and to live a “good” life.

Truthfully, to be successful, to live a good life and to overcome those feelings, it is detrimental to confront painful emotions, to care less about pain and to care more about what is important.

The Meaning To Not Giving A F**k

Caring too much about futile things is a sign that you don’t have anything better going on in your life. However, not caring is liberating. By caring less, Mark Manson means:

  • Stop trying so hard and stop investing too much energy in things.
  • Pursue failures and not  success, pain and not pleasure. Failures eventually lead to success and confronting negativity leads to growth.
  • Embrace negative emotions and use your pain as a tool.
  • Take action even though your circumstances and emotions are overwhelming.
  • Discern the situations and the people who matter.
  • Understand that life is short and there is no time to waste on futility.
  • Be authentic and “comfortable with being different”.
  • Choose something to care about that matters more than adversity.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living a Good Life By Mark Manson

How To Not Giving A F**k?

There are a few principles to practice in order to care less:

  1. Understand that pain is inevitable, incessant yet it is necessary. It triggers change and helps us avoid making the same mistakes.
  2. Understand that you cannot control everything and that life will always throw you curve balls. Everything in life requires sacrifice.
  3. Understand that you’ll be fine no matter what.
  4. Don’t base your life and reactions on your emotions.
  5. Don’t repress your emotions. Instead, use your negative emotions to motivate you and to do better.
  6. Take action in order to create positive emotions.
  7. Accept yourself. Get comfortable with yourself and with failure. It doesn’t make sense to avoid failure. Failure is painful but it boosts change and welcomes success.
  8. Control your thoughts.
  9. Change your values to build your character.
  10. We all care about something and it’s impossible not to. You must just figure out what level of pain you are willing to sustain.
  11. Acknowledge that if some people take you seriously and consider you as a change agent, others will make fun at you and see you as an embarrassment.
  12. Take responsibility for your problems and for your experiences.
  13. Acknowledge your ignorance or lack of knowledge. Invest in your personal growth nad challenge your beliefs.
  14. Don’t avoid rejection. Learn to handle rejection and to say no in return.
  15. Be conscious of your own death. Don’t be afraid of your own death. Let the possibility of death transform you and give your life meaning.

Review

To be frank, I heard a lot about The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k By Mark Manson. Not only was I intrigued by the title but by the press around this book.

As the year goes by, we see the emergence of a lot of books with a colorful language. The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k By Mark Manson is a motivational book that encourages transformation. It promotes the need to be honest with yourself, to determine your limitations, your strengths and weaknesses.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F**k is a funny book with far-fetched metaphors. Yet, it is honest about itself. It:

  • Warns us to be selective on the things that we care about.
  • Promotes the concept of not caring about what people think, of not letting people or our emotions overwhelm you.
  • Denounces life’s false expectations and disillusion.
  • Demonstrates how life is imperfect.
  • Stops you from seeking for outside validation, searching for bigger and better, living in the superlatives, from trying to impress, from maintaining appearances, feeling the need to prove ourselves to society and from promoting a fake life on social media.

Besides the use of colorful language, it is very similar to the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg Mckeown.

It is written as motivation for millennials, for overthinkers, for chronic worriers and for the overly emotional for whom not caring would be liberating.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And,
paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive
experience.

This book will help you think a little bit more clearly about what you’re choosing to find important in life and what you’re choosing to find unimportant.

We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change.

Ratings 3/5

Author

Mark Manson