Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life By Gary John Bishop

Self talk is everything. Matter of fact, it has been proven that negative self talk has tremendous impact on your health and your level of success.

Indeed, we can determine our emotions and actions by steering our thoughts. We can then control out thoughts by monitoring our self talk and the language we use. We can finally use strong and assertive language when speaking to and about ourselves.

There are several principles to change your mindset, to unf*** yourself and to achieve true success.

1. Your life won’t change until you make it

You must understand that you:

  • Have the life that you are willing to put up with.
  • Are not defined by your circumstances but only how you respond to them.
  • Even if you have no control over life events, you have full control of how you respond to it.

So, it is imperative that you stop playing the victim, stop blaming others, stop blaming luck, your childhood and other external influences for your circumstances.

You must also find out what you are willing or unwilling to pursue and put up with.

2. You will succeed at whatever you set your mind to

The reality is that you are already winning at the life you have.

Your failures and hurts are hidden victories that are pushing towards your subconscious goals in whatever domain you are working in.

You will find out sooner or later that you are really good at what you believe, at realizing your assumptions about yourself.

Therefore, once you understand that principle, you can use that aspect of our mind to go after positive goals.

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life By Gary John Bishop #books #bookreview #overcomefear #success

3. It’s all a matter of perspective

Negative experiences have a tendency to spread like wildfire. It seeps through our everyday life and turn small problems into bigger ones.

The reality is everybody has problems but your problem is not always as big as it seems. To put things into perspective:

  • Don’t allow your struggles to overlap with different aspects of your life.
  • Take several steps back until you have a clear logical view of your problems.
  • Face your past and future. You have probably faced these same problems in the past or worse and have overcome them. Looking back at your past, you will realize how ridiculous some problems now seem.
  • Believe that the future has great things in store for you. 
  • Solve problems one by one.

4. You must take risks to be successful

We are obsessed with a need for safety and for certainty. Subsequently, we have stopped taking risks.

At some point in your life, you were taking risks.

Those risks have now become an inherent part of your routine. The moment you stop taking risks is the moment your life becomes flat and unsuccessful.

To be successful, you have to be willing to take risks, to face uncertainty, to look stupid and to be judged.

5. You are not your feelings

What you think and what you do are two different things and won’t necessarily align.

Most successful people and overachievers have understood that principle.

They feel the negative feelings but focus and act independently from their thoughts.

You don’t have to feel like it to act like it. By acting or by fully immersing yourself in activities, you reduce the amount of negative thoughts that you experience.

6. Success is waiting outside of your comfort zone

Some of your biggest achievements happened when you stepped out your comfort zone.

The more you remove yourself from your comfort zone, the more you will feel a sense of accomplishments when you succeed.

7. You have to be relentless

To get what you want, you have to be relentless, avoid distractions and disagree with negative thoughts.

You also have to start focusing on the problems in front of you, one obstacle at a time.

You don’t give up, you don’t quit, you don’t change your plans.

8. Your expectations won’t always be met

Remember that you have the freedom to choose.

Life and opportunities will never fully meet your expectations.

That’s why you have to learn to expect nothing and accept everything.

Review

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life by Gary John Bishop, is designed for people who feel stuck in life, who lack introspection and who need to build themselves up from the inside out.

Unf*** Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life teaches you how to talk to yourself, to find your true potential, to stop self sabotage and being offended.

Gary John Bishop repurposed the ancient principles of stoicism and shares tips on how to master your mind in order to be successful.

He also provides you with great words of affirmation and personal assertions. So, check it out!

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

The more you tell yourself how hard something is, the harder it will actually seem.

It’s entirely within our power to determine how we think about and talk about our problems. They can be a nuisance or a stepping stone. They can hold us down or lift us up.

everything is solve-able, and if you can’t see a solution, it only means you haven’t worked it out yet.

Success is never certain. It never comes without risk.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Gary John Bishop

 

 

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Gary John Bishop

MEET THE AUTHORGary John Bishop is the New York Times best selling author of Unfuk Yourself & of Stop Doing That Sht.

13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success

There comes a time when leaders feel stuck in a rut, unable to solve problems or constantly being blindsided by events.

That is because they lack wisdom and character, they don’t have the appropriate knowledge of themselves and of the situation.

13 Leadership Books Every Up&Coming Leader Should Read To Achieve Success #success #books #bookreview #leader #leadership

Books provide valuable information for leaders to grow and to improve themselves.

Reading has to play an important part in leadership.

The following books will help you improve your self-awareness, develop your character, build your vision and your purpose.

1. The Alchemist

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Author: Paulo Coelho

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Alchemist outlines the journey of a leader.

It teaches us to be ourselves and to follows our heart and gut.

It reminds us that failure always brings us closer to our success and that all we need is already within us.

 

2. The Four Agreements

 

Author: Don Miguel Ruiz

Ratings: 4.5/5

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

He encourages us to be impeccable with our words, to not take anything personally, to not making assumptions and to do our best.

3. Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean

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Author: Kim Scott

Ratings 3/5

In Radical Candor: How to Get What You Want by Saying What You Mean, Kim Scott reveals ways to be truthful, to develop candid relationships.

Being truthful without being a bully is difficult. Candor comes with risks but it will determine your level of success in the long run.

4. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

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Author: Amy Cuddy

Ratings: 3.5/5

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, Amy Cuddy gives advice on managing nonverbal cues to induce Presence, identifying your best authentic self, nurturing your boldest self, and creating personal power.

It is useful for leaders who want to get in touch with their best self.

5. H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.

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Author: Brad Lomenick

Ratings: 4/5

H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle.Brad Lomenick draws conclusions from his personal leadership style and allies spirituality with leadership.

He shares various tips on being a better leader. He also urges us to define who we are, to identify where you are going and how you will get there.

6. Principles: Life and Work

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Author: Ray Dalio

Ratings: 3/5

Dalio shares many principles to navigate life and work.

Ray Dalio encourages us to stay open-minded, to find and speak truth in order to live a healthier lifestyle, to meet our goals and to handle setbacks.

 

7. Tribes: We need you to lead us

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Author: Seth Godin

Ratings: 3/5

In Tribes: We need you to lead us, Seth Godin declares that everybody wants and needs to belong to a tribe.

He also demonstrates how challenging the status quo is a simple way to create your own tribe, to build your fellowship, to define your leadership without forcing people.

 

8. No One Understands You and What To Do About It

 

Author: Heidi Grant Halvorson

Ratings: 4/5

In No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Heidi Grant Halvorson explores the prominent reasons why we are often misunderstood.

She also gives useful advice on how to clean up our reputation, to clarify a difficult situation.

 

9. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful

What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful By Marshall Goldsmith

 

Author: Marshall Goldsmith

Ratings: 4/5

In What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More SuccessfulMarshall Goldsmith helps you identify all the 21 bad behaviors that are currently holding you back from success.

He also provides different solutions so you develop your character and be your best self at work.

 

10. Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior

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Author: Mark Goulston, Philip Goldberg

Ratings 3/5

Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg list all the common self-defeating habits that we have acquired in life and have brought to work.

In order to achieve success, they show us how to get out our own way, how to stop self-sabotaging, how and what to change.

11. Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less

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Author: Greg Mckeown

Ratings: 4/5

Essentialism is a thought process that drives success, that improves your decisions making and time management skills.

In Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less, Greg Mckeown replaces the false assumptions that we can do it all, that being busy means being productive, that we must accept every single opportunity that comes our way.

12. Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

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Author: Daniel H. Pink

Ratings: 4/5

In Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Daniel H. Pink shows us that people are not motivated by common external factors such as money or fame. 

Daniel H. Pink reveals that people’s behaviors are mostly driven by purpose, passion, autonomy, a need for self-improvement and for self-imposed goals.

Leaders can use that innate drive to increase productivity, improve performance and build stronger teams.

13. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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Author: Angela Duckworth

Ratings 3/5

In Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Duckworth defines Grit as a combination of resilience, determination, purpose and passion. 

According to Angela Duckworth, anyone can acquire grit. Furthermore, people with grit are more successful than people who are talented but who don’t put in work.

 

 

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The Coaching Habit Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever By Michael Bungay Stanier

thecoachinghabit

The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier is written for on the clock managers who have no time for long-winded trainings. The Coaching Habit presents several tips and scenarii to help managers specifically identify their emotional, situational or locational triggers. With The Coaching Habit, managers are able to pick up some new skills and define different habits in less than 10 minutes.

Building a coaching habit, as difficult as it is, is an “essential leadership behavior” that should be adopted by most managers in order to:

  • Help their team unlock their true potential
  • Make their team members more confident and therefore self-sufficient
  • Provide purpose to their team

Review

Easy and fast book to read, with great tips for managers who are looking to improve their leadership skills.

Favorite quote(s)

To help people do that, we’ve drawn from some of the insights above and, after testing it out in the real world, created the New Habit Formula: a simple, straightforward and effective way of articulating and kickstarting the new habit you want.

Ratings 3/5

About the author

Michael Bungay Stanier

Purchase

So Smart But…: How Intelligent People Lose Credibility – And How They Can Get It Back by Allen K. Weiner

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Summary

Credibility, the quality or power to inspire trust and belief, is essential and strategic to career evolution. It is also difficult to acquire, keep up but easier to lose.

Allen N. Weiner, in So Smart But…, provides tips on how to preserve and enhance your credibility in the workplace. Each tip is illustrated by realistic workplace scenarios.

credibility2

According to Allen N. Weiner, credibility is 45% how you look, 45%  how you sound and 10% what you say.

 

In agreement with McCroskey, scholar in West Virginia University, there are five factors of credibility:

  1. Competence. This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to:
    • Champion the company’s vision
    • Engage in innovation
    • Focus on performance and results
    • Build a high performance organization
    • Explain concept with the appropriate message
    • Calibrate a message to a specific listener.

credibilitylostCredibility is easily lost if someone:

  • is not understanding or is reacting inappropriately to an issue at hand
  • is lacking better judgement in order to make the right decisions
  • reflects too long before making a decision.
  1. Character. This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to:
    • Foster a climate of innovation
    • Foster and model the company’s values.

credibilitylostCredibility is easily lost if someone:

  • is lacking passion and drive for their work
  • is arrogant. This character flaw can be corrected by changing your words when addressing your colleagues, expressing interest in them, asking for advice, listening more in conversations and sharing your personal weaknesses
  • cannot manage emotions very well
  • has it out for some people in their organization.
  1. Composure. This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to:
    • Manage workforce performance
    • Delegate appropriately.

credibilitylostCredibility is easily lost if someone:

  • is not timely (not punctual with deliveries, appears frantic and rushing,…)
  • cannot manage emotions very well
  • maneuver their body language to manifest their belonging
  • decorate and manage their personal space
  • does not look the part by not applying the company’s dress code, by not grooming oneself when coming to work or even by not working out.
  1. Sociability. This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to demonstrate interpersonal skills.
  2. Extroversion as defined in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). This quality is acquired when an employee has succeeded to passionately drive the company’s strategy.

Review

This self-development book is very relatable, accurate and was very difficult to read since I have met up with most of the scenarios and possess some of the corporate personality flaws discussed in this book.

Furthermore, every argument is properly illustrated with realistic scenario and is not gender biased.

According to Allen N. Weiner, to climb the social ladder, it seems that one needs to :

  • comply to too many non written rules, indicative of a rigid and intolerant society that is the corporate world. Is it possible to apply every single one of these rules  to the cost of spreading oneself very thinly?
  • be likeable to succeed when, in my opinion, likeability can only take you so far. Indeed, in my experience, it is preferable and more effective to be respected in corporate culture because being liked puts you on equal footing with your pairs, constitutes additional emotional work and subjects you to fluctuating and random external opinion. Nevertheless, according to Allen N. Weiner, people who are not liked are trying to find excuses instead of trying to be liked.
  • adapt, be accepted by your pairs or fitting in. Fitting in is very hard to do but not impossible to do. Check out the article Signs that You are a good fit for your new job..

Ratings 4/5

About the author

Allen N. Weiner

#ENTRYLEVELTweet by Heather R. Huhman Taking Your career from classroom to cubicle

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#ENTRYLEVELTweet by career expert Heather R. Huhman is intended for newly college graduates with absolutely no idea how to transit from the classroom to the cubicle.

Heather R. Huhman is the founder and president of Come Recommended. Introduced to the working sphere without guidance, she is adamant about helping recent graduates to launch their career.

This easy read book amasses 140 inspiring tweets and gives out helpful job searching tips, to newly college graduates, about:

  • Identifying and highlighting your professional strengths
  • Crafting your resumes, cover letter and any other tools necessary
  • Being present on various social media and using your profile in order to connect directly with the hiring managers
  • Networking and creating relationships with hiring managers
  • Applying for jobs and and scheduling job interviews
  • Managing different job offers without burning bridges
  • Navigating office politics and making a lasting good impression on your boss and coworkers

Review

#ENTRYLEVELTweet by career expert Heather R. Huhman is a fast and easy read and gathers both practical and motivational tips that, I believe, can be helpful to boost your job search.

I wish that there would be more practical illustrations and detailed tweets on how to navigate office politics.

Favorite quotes

Tweet 2 Others, namely your parents, will “strongly encourage” you to take the first job you’re offered out of college

Tweet 5 Don’t beat yourself up for not making the right choice at first—most of us don’t!

Tweet 52 If you have large gaps in your résumé due to removing all unrelated positions, include them in Additional Experience. No bullets.

Tweet 112 Read industry publications and blogs. It’s important to keep up with the news and latest trends in your industry.

Tweet 131 If you are not entirely certain you understand what your supervisor wants when he or she has given you an assignment, speak up!

Tweet 132 Become the go-to person for something in the office, whether it’s building PowerPoint presentations or navigating social media.

Tweet 133 Keep your opinions to yourself, and be aware of negative “types” in the office. Don’t partake in gossip!

Ratings: 3/5