Daring Greatly By Brené Brown

In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown explains the reasons why we are afraid of being vulnerable, the different ways we protect ourselves from vulnerability, and how to become more vulnerable in our society.

Daring Greatly means being vulnerable, being engaged, being exposed and avoiding being perfect.

Daring Greatly By Brené Brown

A Narcissistic Society

Many researchers have shown that the American culture has turned into a narcissistic influenced culture, a culture of scarcity, a culture where people put themselves first, think that they are special, are always connected to social media, go after money and power, chase beauty and other vanity, compare themselves, are disengaged and concerned with the idea of lacking.

Instead of putting sown narcissistic people and showing them that they are not special, it is better to seek understanding and find the root of the problem.

Being narcissistic stems from a feeling of not being enough and of being ordinary.

Vulnerability & The Feeling Of Not Being Enough

The feeling of not being enough brings about shame and stops us from being vulnerable. Shame is a universal emotion, is corrosive, “keeps us small, resentful and afraid”.

Furthermore, we become disengaged when we are too afraid to be vulnerable, when we are ashamed, when we lack purpose, when a social contract is not met.

It is critical to speak out on your shame, to be self-aware, to know your self-worth, to ask and receive feedback because knowing your worth will help you become more vulnerable.

To eradicate the feeling of shame:

  • Identify your shame triggers.
  • Observe your self talk.
  • Practice authenticity.
  • Accept your experiences.
  • Share your experience, be vulnerable with someone who genuinely cares about you.

Common Misconceptions About Vulnerability

We are thought not to be vulnerable, not to show our emotions, to look down on those who do. There are several misconceptions when it comes to vulnerability.

Misconception #1: “Vulnerability is weakness”

The reality is vulnerability is not a weakness, is not good or bad. Vulnerable is the origin of all emotions.

It therefore becomes important to acknowledge your vulnerability.

Besides, the people who think that they are impenetrable are in fact the most vulnerable.

Misconception #2: “I don’t do vulnerability”

Vulnerability is unavoidable. When we try to avoid it, we often exhibit unusual inconsistent behaviors.

Misconception #3: Vulnerability is letting it all hang out”

You cannot be vulnerable with everyone. It is important to build trust and boundaries before being vulnerable.

Otherwise, more times than ever, you will end up getting betrayed and hurt.

Misconception #4: “We can go it alone”

Individualism and going it alone are highly regarded in American culture.

In this case, it is essential to construct a support system, to ask for and receive help

Shame As A Management Tool

Most of the time, shame and the blame game are used as management tool, yet is ineffective.

Subsequently, the situations that we face on a daily basis, in the education system, in the workplace, force us to keep our head down and our mouth shut which doesn’t encourage innovation, creativity or the learning process.

Vulnerability & Protective Mechanism

Our protective mechanisms are survival strategies, used to shield our vulnerability. Those shields can go from foreboding joy, to perfectionism to numbing down your emotions.

To avoid shielding vulnerability, it is critical to:

  • Practice gratitude.
  • Appreciate your strengths and weaknesses.
  • Confront your emotions.
  • Live a more fulfilling life and feed your spirit.
  • Focus your time and energy on the essentials.
  • Consider how your behavior affect those around you.

Shield #1: Victim mentality

Some people go through life with a victim or perpetrator, win or lose mentally and subsequently fall into one of these categories.

Surprisingly, the people who have been through the most trauma, demonstrate the most resilience. And, people who don’t feel like victims or perpetrators, see themselves as thrivers.

Shield #2: “Floodlighting”

Floodlighting is essentially oversharing and stems from a need for confirmation and validation.

We have to be careful not to share vulnerable stories too soon with people who have not earned the right to hear them.

The people on the receiving end often shut down, lack empathy or feel disconnected.

Shield #3: “The smash and grab”

With this shield, some people use vulnerability as a manipulation, sensationalizing tactic that is common in celebrity culture, as an attention seeking tool.

Shield #4: “Serpentining”

Serpentining is a draining and an avoidance behavior.

It happens when people are not facing a situation head on for fear of being vulnerable, of not being present.

Shield #5: Mean-spiritedness

In this case, people use criticism, cynicism and mean-spiritedness to protect themselves.

They are mean to people who dare demonstrate vulnerability.

Review

Daring Greatly is essential to leadership, parenting, relationships, finding your purpose and your passion.

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown gives insight into the corporate and the western culture where being vulnerable equals being weak and lets you open to different attacks.

Through Daring Greatly, Brown has gathered data from people from different walks of life so we can somewhat self diagnose and become more aware of some of our toxic behavior.

Brené Brown makes some pertinent point and writes exactly like she speaks. Furthermore, Brown is very open and authentic, shares her anecdotes, fears and doubt.

For example, she is vulnerable with us, mindful of the stories to share, lets us into her conversations with her therapist.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

Favorite quote(s)

Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.

Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.

Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.

We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying. Researchers don’t find shame correlated with positive outcomes at all—there are no data to support that shame is a helpful compass for good behavior. In fact, shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive and
hurtful behaviors than it is to be the solution.

Much of the beauty of light owes its existence to the dark. The most powerful moments of our lives happen when we string together the small flickers of light created by courage, compassion, and connection and see them shine in the darkness of our struggles.

Ratings 4/5

Author

Brené Brown

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You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life By Jen Sincero

We create our own reality…

Our reality first starts in our subconscious mind.

1. Upgrade your mindset

Our subconscious mind has accumulated so much information around us from our childhood and has formatted our current system of belief.

No matter how much your conscious mind thinks that it is in control, it’s not. It is your subconscious mind that rule your life and manifest itself in your decisions.

The key is to unblock yourself by fixing your subconscious belief, to set your mind on what you truly want, to start present, quiet the ego, step out your comfort zone, and getting past your fears and the fears of those around you.

You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life By Jen Sincero #book #books #bookreview #bookreviews #selfawareness #selfimprovement #selfdevelopment @jensincero journeytoleadershipblog.com

2. Work on loving yourself

After upgrading your mindset, the second to creating the life that you want is to love yourself no matter what.

When you truly love yourself, you do not bother people and you do not want to be bothered by nonsense. To fall in love with yourself:

  • Understand and appreciate your uniqueness.
  • Use words of affirmation and rephrase your negative self-talk.
  • Do things you love and put yourself first.
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others and always do your best whatever the circumstances.
  • Learn to forgive yourself.
  • Stop caring about what others think of you.
  • Change your habits, try new things and step out your comfort zone.
  • Trust your intuition.

3. Set your mind on your goals

Our mind is our most powerful tool.

So much so that what we chose to focus on become our reality.

Therefore, once you have learned to love yourself, to rewire your grain and quiet the mind, it is time to set your mind on what you truly want, attract it and work towards it.

While you do so, it is important to give, to practice an attitude of gratitude, learn to forgive yourself and others, and to surround yourself with like-minded people.

When you start creating your own reality, life will get bad before it gets better!

Review

You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero is a regular self-help book with known and effective Principles to improve your life and to live the one you want.

Except that Jen Sincero has an upbeat delivery, puts a funny spin to these principles and adds personable examples.

She forces you to look within, to challenge your perception of reality, your circumstances and your role in creating your circumstances.

You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero promotes life improvement from the inside out and is centered around love.

Let me know below what you think about this book!

Favorite quote(s)

You’ll have to believe in things you can’t see as well as some things that you have full-on proof are impossible. You’re gonna have to push past your fears, fail over and over again and make a habit of doing things you’re not so comfy doing. You’re going to have to let go of old, limiting beliefs and cling to your decision to create the life you desire like your life depends on it.

If you want to live a life your never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.

You are responsible for what you say or do. You are not responsible for whether or not people freak out about it.

What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

We’ve made being in fear a habit.
We’re pumped full of it as children, like sugar, then as we grow we continued to take in the bad news on TV and the horror in the papers and the violence in books and films and video games and all this junk that fills us to the brim with fear about the world. We’re taught to play it safe and not take risks, and to caution everyone around us to follow suit.
And it becomes such an accepted part of our social conditioning that we don’t even realize we’re doing it.

Ratings 3.5/5

About the author

Jen Sincero

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The power of No: 36 Different Ways To Say No In The Workplace

Whether or not you’re asked to take on new tasks, to work on different projects or you have been given a new opportunity, saying no without guilt or justification is a leadership skill that will often come into play.

Learning how and why to say no is a vital leadership skill that few people master.

Indeed, it is difficult for some poeple to say no because the word “no” has often a negative connotation and is assimilated to rejection.

In addition, even though the word “no” is powerful, it is often followed by a sense of guilt.

Wondering what are the different ways to say no?

The power of No: 36 Different Ways To Say No In The Workplace #journeytoleadership journeytoleadershipblog.com

The Benefits Of Saying No

No means no and saying no is a right.
In addition, No is a sentence in itself. This means that you don’t have to explain yourself.
When you say no to one thing, you:

  • Automatically say yes to something else.
  • Commit yourself to something else.
  • Become honest with yourself and satisfy your basic needs.
  • Say no to things that are not essential or that don’t add value to your life.
  • Focus on what you want.
  • Are responsible for your actions.
  • Choose the life you really want.
  • Handle your time efficiently.
  • Acquire a healthy work life balance.
  • Improve your metal healthy.
  • Increase your self-confidence.

The Different Ways Of Saying No

  1. No

    As simply as it is, no is a powerful word in itself and needs no justification. If you don’t want to do something, that’s OK. Don’t apologize for it.

  2. No, thank you

  3. I have a prior commitment

  4. Maybe another time…

  5. I’m honoured but I can’t

  6. Unfortunately, this is not a good time

  7. I am unable to commit to that right now

  8. I cannot fit that into my schedule

  9. I’ll pass on that

  10. I’m not really into that but thank you

  11. I know, I’m sorry

    This line works for people who you know, who you care about and who care about you. Otherwise, the person making the request will take this as a sign of request.

  12. Thank you but no thank you

    This says that you are somehow flattered by the proposition but cannot commit to it. It has the luxury of not being followed by an excuse.

  13. It’s not doable

  14. It’s not possible

  15. It’s not a good time right now

  16. I’m flattered but I can’t

  17. Thank you for thinking of me but I can’t

    Use I don’t instead of I can’t Introduce them to someone or something who can do what they are asking for

  18. I made other plans

  19. This isn’t going to work for me

  20. This is not in my schedule

  21. This is not a priority

  22. Now is not a good time

  23. Maybe next time

  24. This is too last minute

  25. Let me check my calendar and I’ll get back to you

  26. Silence

    Silence is a powerful toolgo convey a message. Whether you want to say yes or no, pause and measure your words.

  27. Did you know…?

    Changing the conversation is a good way to day no without saying no and to talk about something you care about.

  28. I would rather…

  29. I need to take care of something else

  30. I have other priorities

  31. That would be great but I have other plans

  32. I appreciate that but…

  33. It goes against my principles

  34. It goes against my intuition

    Trust your intuition because your gut always knows best. You just have to take the time to listen to it.

  35. This makes me uncomfortable

  36. Let me think about it

    Phrases such as these will allow you to buy up some time so you can think of a more appropriate answer.

Last Words Of Advice!

Sometimes, you will meet people who will not respect your no or your setting of boundaries. You don’t have to recant yourself, you simply have the repeat yourself.

If they still don’t respect that, you have every right to walk away.

If you have a hard time saying no, think about the consequences of saying yes. This will motivate you to do the right thing.

Don’t forget that you can also come up with your own ways of saying no.

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

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14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

You do not have to be famous, be a millionaire or own a company in the Fortune 500 to be a successful leader.

A successful leader runs a successful business with a healthy return on investment with the help of a successful team.

A successful leader is able to mentally, emotionally, physically and financially provide for his or her team.
Wondering what are the main traits a successful leader?

14 Traits Of Highly Successful Leaders

To become a successful leader, there are a few traits that you need to develop.

The traits of successful leaders can be acquired anytime in life.

However, it is up to you to maintain them. It will also require a lot of self-discipline, self-motivation and self-awareness.

Trait #1. Successful leaders lead a healthy lifestyle

First and foremost, successful leaders are morning people.

They get a good night sleep.

They wake up early in the morning.

They choose to rise with the sun because it gives them time to think, to meditate, to plan their day.

Furthermore, they eat well and on time.

They exercise early in the morning to maintain their physical health, and to get rid of lingering negativity.

Trait #2. Successful leaders have strong conviction

They have the conviction that they are successful and that they will succeed no matter what.

Their conviction comes from their self-awareness, drive, purpose and their strong core values.

They have integrity and hold on to their principles.

They know that they can accomplish anything that they set their mind to.

They rely on their intuition, make their own opinion and don’t follow anyone.

Trait #3. Successful leaders manage their time effectively

They know how to manage their time and prioritize their tasks.

They are willing to handle the most difficult, most important and the most urgent first.

They say no to things that don’t matter to them or to things that don’t fit into the bigger picture.

Trait #4. Successful leaders value solitude

They regularly spend time alone to reflect and to get work done.

Trait #5. Successful leaders own up to their mistake

Indeed, they make mistakes.

They can admit when they have done wrong and can apologize for it.

They reward themselves for their successes and above all learn from their failures.

Trait #6. Successful leaders take calculated risks

They take risks, get out of their comfort zones, recognize what works and what doesn’t.

Trait #7. Successful leaders ask for feedback

They ask for feedback, actively listen to it, and if the feedback is sound, seek to apply it.

Trait #8. Successful leaders set boundaries

They have set clear boundaries in their mind early on.

They know what they need, want, wish for.

They also know what they will not allow or stand for.

They know how to say no and stand their ground.

Trait #9. Successful leaders obsess positively

Leaders spend their time obsessing positively.

By “obsessing positively”, I mean they are passionate and they can focus their attention on their goals for a prolonged amount of time.

Basically, they eat, drink, sleep, think their goals.

Trait #10. Successful leaders have a healthy work life balance

Even though they can obsess over their professional goals, they make time for a personal life.

They make sure to maintain a healthy work life balance.

Trait #11. Successful leaders are optimistic

They are grateful for what they have but are not complacent.

They do not dwell on negativity and CHOOSE to focus on positivity.

They don’t overthink or overanalyze everything.

They don’t play the victim and take responsibility for their actions.

They handle change, failures and pressure gracefully.

They see challenges as an opportunity to learn and they maintain a positive attitude in adversity.

Trait #12. Successful leaders are whole

Their self-esteem does not depend on what others think of them.

They don’t compare their lives with the ones of other people.

They don’t judge but empathize with other people.

They don’t insult but compliment people.

They don’t abuse their authority or power.

They don’t hug the spotlight but give credit when credit is due.

They do not need to harm someone else to feel superior or to feel whole.

They know who, how and when to forgive.

Moreover, they want to see others succeed. They encourage others to grow, to succeed and reach their full potential.

Trait #13. Successful leaders are wise beyond their years

They have a deep understanding of life and of themselves.

They can assess a situation and its outcome before engaging in it.

They have identified their purpose early in life and every decision that they make can be justified.

Trait #14. Successful leaders are learning machines

They are open-minded.

They are always learning, always evolving and always growing.

They understand that learning is a never-ending process, no matter their age or status.

On the flip side, they constantly want to share their knowledge with the world.

Last Words Of Advice!

Successful people inspire and act as role models for others and for their own organization.

Therefore, be mindful of your actions and of your words.
Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.