The 5 Second Rule By Mel Robbins

The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins is a self-help book, urging people to take action by using a 5 second countdown trick.

What is The 5 Second Rule?

The 5 Second Rule is a “metacognition technique” that improves your sense of self, your life, career, health.

The principle of The 5 Second Rule is the following:

“The moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you must 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.” At 1, you should be moving.

The 5 Second Rule By Mel Robbins

Where does The 5 Second Rule come from?

The principle of The 5 Second Rule comes from the combination of two thoughts:

  • Mel Robbins, while feeling she failed at life, realized that she would take only 5 seconds to talk herself out of waking up in the morning, out of improving and doing the right thing.
  • One night, while watching TV, Mel Robbins also made the observation that a rocket launches after a 5 second countdown. Afterwards, she would launch herself out of bed, the same way the rocket would launch into space.

What are the benefits of The 5 Second Rule?

The 5 Second Rule is an empowering thought process. Through this principle, you are able to experience freedom and quiet your mind.

The 5 Second Rule enables you to trust your instincts, to take back control of your life, to make the right decisions.

Among its various applications, you will have the ability to improve your health, focus on the essentials, increase your productivity, break procrastination, avoid distractions, be authentic, replace your bad habits with good ones, get up early and start your routine early in the morning.

The 5 Second Rule is a tool that drives courage in difficult times and builds “Real Confidence”. It pushes you to act and to change.

What about courage?

According to Mel Robbins, when trying to change, when facing something that is uncertain, unknown, that scares you or makes you hesitate, your brain feels like something is wrong.

Your mind will then stop the change process and trap you with your own thoughts.

Courage, your birthright, is therefore required to push you forward and to implement change.

The 5 Second Rule will give you the courage you need to go after what you really want, to have a more fulfilling life and to not give in to your fears.

In addition, it is detrimental for you to stop making excuses for not acting on your instincts. Your excuses are always wrong and there is no right time.

No external factor will validate your choices and your ideas. Only putting yourself out there and getting out your comfort zone will.

What about confidence?

Confidence is a skill which means it is a learnt behavior. In fact, your confidence has nothing to do with your personality and will increase every time you step out of your comfort zone.

Your everyday courage will help you assess your own worth, build up your confidence, connect with yourself, find your true passion, build meaningful relationships, and meet new people.

Your everyday courage gives you the confidence to explore and makes you realize that the power you need was inside of you all along.

Review

In appearance, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins, looks like a time management book that provides quick short-term fixes.

However, in reality, The 5 Second Rule is a transformational tool, delivering long-term results.

It is written for people who are plagued by fear, who want to change and take charge of their lives but don’t know how to. Change is difficult because it requires courage and confidence.

Furthermore, The 5 Second Rule can be customized to your liking. It enables you to:

  • Work on your confidence and your courage.
  • Stop overthinking, worrying and magnifying problems.
  • Trust your guts and honor your instincts.
  • Stop hesitating and holding yourself back.
  • Become more present and acquire patience.
  • Start performing and to become more goal-oriented.
  • Control your emotions, fight mental illnesses and bad mental habits.
  • Take ownership of your life and start the transformation process.

The 5 Second Rule is a principle that we already intuitively and intrinsically know. But, after years of research, Mel Robbins coherently put these ideas together.

Mel Robbins also shares poignant quotes, real examples and testimonials of people who have used The 5 Second Rule for diverse reasons.

The 5 Second Rule is life changing, encouraging, motivational and inspirational. It shows you how to change for the better.

Favorite quote(s)

That’s what you are doing when you use the Rule. You are honoring yourself. You are championing your ideas. And each time you use it, you take one step closer to being the person you are truly meant to be.

Doing the work to improve your life is simple, you can do it, and it’s work you want to do—because it’s the most important work that there is. It is the work of learning how to love and trust yourself enough to stop waiting and to start leaning into all the magic, opportunity, and joy that your life, work, and relationships have to offer.

When it comes to goals, dreams, and changing your life, your inner wisdom is a genius. Your goal-related impulses, urges, and instincts are there to guide you. You need to learn to bet on them.

The difference between people who make their dreams come true and those of us who don’t is just one thing: the courage to start and the discipline to keep going.

Ratings 3.5/5

Author

Mel Robbins

Advertisements
Posted in Book Reviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Mel Robbins

MEET THE AUTHOR

Mel Robbins is a motivational and keynote speaker. Mel Robbins is also the author of The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, And Confidence With Everyday Courage.

Posted in Author | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Quote Of The Week #63

Success isn't always about greatness. It's about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come. - Dwayne “The Rock" Johnson

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Importance Of Gratitude In Leadership

Some leaders who have achieved high levels of success are unhappy and ungrateful.

They go through life with pessimism and a sense of emptiness.

They don’t express gratitude. They pass down their toxicity to other people, find faults on everything and everyone. Why is that?

It is safe to say that people who express gratitude in the workplace are seen as naive and weak. Are they really thou? Do they know something that we don’t?

Wondering what are the benefits of gratitude and how to improve your level of gratitude?

The Importance Of Gratitude In Leadership

What is gratitude?

The expression of gratitude is both personal and universal. It depends on your cultural background, your systems of belief, your circumstances and your self-awareness.

Gratitude is a conscious choice.

Gratitude is acknowledging the value of someone or something, celebrating success after reaching our goals, choosing to see the positive in any situation and consciously remembering who helped you.

Being grateful is a thinking process that needs constant work. It is a demonstration of your character and your internal strength.

Gratitude is a perception of life.

It is appreciating what you have in life, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Gratitude is an emotion, an attitude, a habit.

To some, gratitude is directly linked to happiness. To others, it fosters complacency and selfishness.

Benefits of gratitude?

Some days are harder than others. Gratitude doesn’t make things magically go away. However, it puts things in perspective.

In addition, being grateful has the ability to:

  • Increase your self-awareness. Gratitude will automatically influence your attitude, your character.
  • Stabilize your health, manage your emotional intelligence and improve your self-esteem. Gratitude is a combination of your emotions and your state of mind.
  • Increase your effectiveness, productivity and optimism.
  • Build great and valuable relationships. You will also be seen as friendly, positive and much more approachable.
  • Make others feel appreciatedMaking people feel valued will in turn make you feel valuable.
  • Promote empathy, resolve conflicts and successfully influence people.
  • Help you recognize that a curse is in fact a blessing in disguise.
  • Help you activate the laws of attraction. more opportunities will come to you naturally.
  • Make the best of everything.
  • Value and focus on the things that you do have.
  • Help you enjoy your journey and find greater meaning in life.
  • Energize you and help you experience positive emotions. It prevents depression and suppresses pride.

Through this practice, leaders build up a reservoir of positive energy.

How to improve your gratitude?

Gratitude is recognizing people for the things that they gift you, for the hurdles, the joys, for your past, present and future. To express your gratitude, practice these tips:

  1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Accept yourself for who you really are.
  3. Clarify your own goals and purpose. You will then know when to celebrate your success.
  4. Keep an open mind which means that you must be open to explore and to learn.
  5. Be sincere and positive. Avoid focusing on negativity in general.
  6. Show that you care and directly give thanks.
  7. Write down all the things that you are grateful for. You can also keep a personal journal. Then, you can memorize what you are grateful for so you can visualize it during hard times.
  8. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable, to emote and to speak your mind.
  9. Volunteer and give back to people.
  10. Engage in activities that are essential and beneficial to you.
  11. Maximize the opportunities that come your way.
  12. Learn from your painful experiences.

Gratitude is not a common emotion or state in the workplace.

Furthermore, nothing can make you feel demoralized and unappreciated like an ungrateful boss.

Nevertheless, at work, there are several opportunities to demonstrate gratitude: a motivated team, a respectful salary, expected results.

To nurture a culture of gratitude within your organization, it is important to exercise your muscle frequently :

  1. Lead by example and be genuine when expressing gratitude.
  2. Get to know your team.
  3. Help someone out once in a while.
  4. Acknowledge people’s success and offer rewards for a job well done.
  5. Sincerely compliment people once in a while.
  6. Encourage your team to always do their best.
  7. Provide frequent feedback.

What are the things that you are the most grateful for?

 

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Posted in Journey To Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Quote Of The Week #62

You may delay, but time will not. — Benjamin Franklin

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.

What is an agreement?

The four agreements come from the Toltec teachings of wisdom. The goal of this book is to make each agreement a habit.

An agreement is:

  • a programming of the mind.
  • a language, a code that helps us understand each other.
  • a belief system that has domesticated us.

It represents the rules that we abide to, that we pass down from generation to generation.

unfortunately, we have not chosen the agreements that we have concluded. Most of the time, they have been chosen for us and existed longer than we have.

The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz

The First Agreement

The first agreement is to be “impeccable with your words“. This means that you must be careful of not using words against yourself and others.

Indeed, there is power in the words that you use. Matter of fact, it is the most powerful tool at your disposition. 

You can use your words to create beauty or to wreak havoc.

“What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word”.

Purpose of the agreement

Being “impeccable with your words” helps you suppress any toxicity from your mind, free your mind from fear and doubt, and filter out negativity.

Implementing the agreement

Furthermore, words grow and take root in your mind if we are not careful. So:

  • Be true to yourself.
  • Be careful of the words that you use on yourself.
  • Do not speak against yourself.
  • Avoid gossiping and don’t believe gossip.
  • Accept and love yourself so you can demonstrate love and acceptance toward others.

The Second Agreement

The second agreement is to not “take anything personally”.

Often times, people are preoccupied with their own beliefs, feelings and opinions about themselves that they take out on others.

Even if they insult you directly, it is wise not to take their insult personally.

Purpose of the agreement

This agreement is necessary to avoid burdening yourself with people’s problem, setting “yourself up to suffer for nothing”.

Acquiring this habit will help you free yourself, keep your heart open, see people for who they really are, and be unaffected by fear.

Implementing the agreement

Understand that:

  • All opinions about you are not necessarily true.
  • Opinions about you depends on the person and on their moods.
  • We can choose what to believe and what to agree with.
  • You must trust yourself and don’t need to trust anyone else.

The Third Agreement

The third agreement consists in not making assumptions.

Undeniably, assumptions are not the truth and breeds problems.

Purpose of the agreement

The third agreement will help you build better relationships and increase your communication skills.

Implementing the agreement

To properly implement this agreement:

  • Ask for clarifications rather than making assumptions.
  • Remember that it is OK to ask questions.
  • Collect the right data about people and situations first.
  • Don’t assume that people can read your mind.
  • Ask for what you want, expect yes or no. Understand that you can say yes or no as well.

The Fourth Agreement

This fourth agreement encourages you to always “do you best“. It consolidates all previous three agreements.

Purpose of the agreement

Forming the habit of always doing your best will:

  • Save you from harsh self-judgement.
  • Increase your production.
  • Mature your self-love

Implementing the agreement

Keep in mind that:

  • Your best will fluctuate all the time. It will depend on your mood, on your energy level, on your health and on your situation.
  • you must take action without expecting any rewards. This way, you will be able to enjoy your actions better.

Review

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz provides a very powerful perspective on life. It encourages self-transformation, self-awareness, self acceptance, and the understanding of others.

I found out briefly that The Four Agreements, yet short, is thoughtful and goes straight to the point. It calls out society’s hypocrisy, fear and domestication.

Everyone I know who have read this book has felt elevated. It was therefore hard to resist reading it and I have to say that I did not regret it.

As you read, you will find that you already had the knowledge and the wisdom within you but have been holding it back. You will learn to trust yourself and set yourself free.

Favorite quote(s)

The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.

Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally.

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.

All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.

Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are.

Ratings 4.5/5

Author

Don Miguel Ruiz

Posted in Book Reviews, Faith-Based | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Don Miguel Ruiz

MEET THE AUTHORDon Miguel Ruiz is a renowned spiritual teacher and internationally bestselling author of the “Toltec Wisdom Series,” including The Four Agreements, The Mastery of Love, The Voice of Knowledge, The Four Agreements Companion Book, The Circle of Fire, and The Fifth Agreement.

Posted in Author | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Quote Of The Week #61

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. Margaret Thatcher

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Providing & Receiving Positive Feedback

Annual Performance Reviews are often dreaded by most employees.

It is the time of the year where we often get offended, where leaders realize that they don’t really understand what is going on in their organization.

In addition, most employees believe that their performance review is inaccurate and biased. It has been shown that it doesn’t help employees improve their performance reach their greatest potential, or grow personally.

That is because, performance reviews:

  • Are given annually which is insufficient. Indeed, mistakes have time to fester for a whole year.
  • Don’t provide enough details. The annual performance review tracks a few of our skills and take snapshots of our behaviors.
  • Take into account only one person’s point of view.
  • Cross-examines someone with different sets of sills with defective criteria.

Wondering how to adequately give and receive feedback?

Providing & Receiving Positive Feedback

The ability to give and to receive feedback is essential to success and to being a great leader. It is a personal development tool and a skill that can be learnt.

What is constructive feedback?

Feedback is the general way you perceive people, is a shared appreciation of a person and of a situation.

Furthermore, feedback is constructive criticism, challenges the way you think about yourself and aims to see people improve and become their best selves. It is the desire for employees to perform well and to find satisfaction in their job.

In fact, giving feedback is similar to coaching, mentoring or teaching.

Feedback is different from micromanagement, negative criticism or emitting judgement. It can be wrong but it is unfortunately necessary for our growth.

Benefits of the feedback process

We perpetually need evaluation to assess our current situation, our ego and our work performance.

The feedback process, if done the right way, will:

However, giving or receiving feedback is difficult: it relies on false assumptions, it consumes time and energy, is often met with avoidance or with resistance.

Nevertheless, being closed off from feedback unequivocally leads to conflicts, to setbacks, to communication issues, to an inability to find a solution.

How to receive feedback?

Receiving feedback as a leader will set the example and encourage people to listen to what you have to say.

Receiving feedback doesn’t mean automatically acting on the advice or immediately starting the changing process. It means that you must:

  1. Understand that there is always room for improvement. 
  2. Be open to feedback in general and therefore to understanding someone’s perception of you.
  3. Listen to what people you trust are saying about you and give the thoughts some consideration.
  4. Consolidate your confidence and set apart your identity from the perceptions people have about you.
  5. Understand that you have the option to choose to apply the feedback.
  6. Identify your triggers and fortify your emotional intelligence. You must therefore be willing to ask the right questions, to objectively talk about issues regarding you and to separate the person giving you feedback from the actual message.
  7. Learn from your mistakes and give yourself time to apply what you have learnt.

How to give feedback?

Leaders who are able to effectively receive feedback are able to give them as well, must exhibit exemplary behavior. To give effective feedback:

  1. Build trust and respect in your employees.
  2. Help people feel good about themselves and motivate them to grow.
  3. Develop an adequate communication style.
  4. Find out why you are implementing the feedback process.
  5. Specifically identify the issues you need to deal with, the reasons and the solutions for them.
  6. Understand that everybody processes information differently, has their personal systems of belief and their own truths. This makes the interpretation of feedback difficult.
  7. Before starting the process, collect enough information to form an accurate opinion. Prepare examples to back up your claims. Do not assume things about people and do not classify them.
  8. Don’t project, force people to change, force people to be something that they are not or treat them like a project that needs to be fixed.
  9. Mind your intent and be genuine in your delivery. Inauthentic feedback breeds distrust and generates negative emotional responses.
  10. Be empathetic. Think about what you are going to say and do before meeting with the person. Show appreciation, choose your words and timing carefully.
  11. Discuss people’s work performance but not their personality nor core values.
  12. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their weaknesses.
  13. Avoid definite terms such as “never”, “always”, “must”, “should”, and make “I’ statements.
  14. Encourage positive behavior. Work is not always fair and not everyone plays by the same rules.
  15. Acknowledge that there are consequences to every action.
  16. Give frequent feedback outside the annual performance review, in private, as soon as possible.

Providing & Receiving Positive Feedback

Last Word Of Advice!

Human beings are very sensitive and most people are not confrontational. So, treat people like you would like to be treated. Don’t seek to offend or to blame, and don’t talk down to them.

Hope that I’ve helped you get it together on your way to leadership!

Don’t forget to like, share and leave a comment below.

Posted in Journey To Leadership | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Quote Of The Week #60

We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience. John Dewey

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment