The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz gathers four “agreements” to live by to ensure a better lifestyle, a deeper understanding of life, a life in the moment.
What is an agreement?
The four agreements come from the Toltec teachings of wisdom. The goal of this book is to make each agreement a habit.
An agreement is:
- a programming of the mind.
- a language, a code that helps us understand each other.
- a belief system that has domesticated us.
It represents the rules that we abide to, that we pass down from generation to generation.
Unfortunately, we have not chosen the agreements that we live by. Most of the time, they have been chosen for us and have existed longer than we have.
The First Agreement
The first agreement is to be “impeccable with your words“. This means that you must be careful of not using words against yourself and others.
Indeed, there is power in the words that you use. Matter of fact, it is the most powerful tool at your disposal.
You can use your words to create beauty or to wreak havoc.
“What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word”.
What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word. Click To TweetPurpose of the agreement
Being “impeccable with your words” helps you suppress any toxicity from your mind, free your mind from fear and doubt, and filter out negativity.
Implementing the agreement
Furthermore, words grow and take root in your mind if you are not careful. So:
- Be true to yourself.
- Be careful of the words that you use on yourself.
- Do not speak against yourself.
- Avoid gossiping and don’t believe gossip.
- Accept and love yourself so you can demonstrate love and acceptance toward others.
The Second Agreement
The second agreement is to not “take anything personally”.
Often times, people are preoccupied with their own beliefs, feelings and opinions about themselves that they take out on others.
Even if they insult you directly, it is wise not to take their insult personally.
Purpose of the agreement
This agreement is necessary to avoid burdening yourself with people’s problem, setting “yourself up to suffer for nothing”.
Acquiring this habit will help you free yourself, keep your heart open, see people for who they really are, and be unaffected by fear.
Implementing the agreement
Understand that:
- All opinions about you are not necessarily true.
- Opinions about you depends on the person and on their moods.
- We can choose what to believe and what to agree with.
- You must trust yourself and don’t need to trust anyone else.
The Third Agreement
The third agreement consists in not making assumptions.
Undeniably, assumptions are not the truth and breeds problems.
Purpose of the agreement
The third agreement will help you build better relationships and increase your communication skills.
Implementing the agreement
To properly implement this agreement:
- Ask for clarifications rather than making assumptions.
- Remember that it is OK to ask questions.
- Collect the right data about people and situations first.
- Don’t assume that people can read your mind.
- Ask for what you want, expect yes or no. Understand that you can say yes or no as well.
The Fourth Agreement
This fourth agreement encourages you to always “do you best” and consolidates all previous three agreements.
Purpose of the agreement
Forming the habit of always doing your best will:
- Save you from harsh self-judgement.
- Increase your production.
- Mature your self-love.
Implementing the agreement
Keep in mind that:
- Your best will fluctuate all the time. It will depend on your mood, on your energy level, on your health and on your situation.
- You must take action without expecting any rewards. This way, you will be able to enjoy your actions better.
Review
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz provides a very powerful perspective on life. It encourages self-transformation, self-awareness, self acceptance, and the understanding of others.
I found out briefly that The Four Agreements, yet short, is thoughtful and goes straight to the point. It calls out society’s hypocrisy, fear and domestication.
Everyone I know who have read this book has felt elevated. It was therefore hard to resist reading it and I have to say that I did not regret it.
As you read, you will find that you already had the knowledge and the wisdom within you but have been holding it back. You will learn to trust yourself and set yourself free.
Favorite quote(s)
The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life.
Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally.
Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally.
All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally.
Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are.
Ratings 4.5/5
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