Wondering whether you have to work on being liked or respected in the workplace? Have your parents instilled in you the following proverb: treat people like you want to be treated?
At the beginning of my career, I believed that to get promoted or to get the job done, one had to be ackowledged by their pairs. I have seen many of my previous managers use their likeability to influence their employee to enhance their performance and reach the goals of the project despite their lack of competence. In addition, many books state the importance of being liked in the workplace (see So Smart But…: How Intelligent People Lose Credibility – And How They Can Get It Back by Allen K. Weiner).
In this manner, I countered my instincts, came out my introvert comfort zone and decided to repeat the same practical career model that I have witnessed.
To put this career model into action, on a daily basis, I:
- First and foremost, dressed for success,
- shaked my coworkers hands every morning,
- put on my Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt face,
- wished everyone a good morning with a sparkling smile,
- ate lunch with my coworkers,
- organized outtings to theaters and comedy clubs,
- engaged in innovative and interesting topics
- spoke politely, respectfully and ethically.
To my demise, it wasn’t the corporate culture to be happy (see Signs You are a good fit for your new job) and being liked became a draining full-time job.
I soon learnt that I had to find a balance between likeability and respectability.
Below, you will find the pros and cons of being likeable in the workplace.
PROS OF BEING LIKED
- Ability to influence and/or manipulate people
- Establishment of an easy and positive work environment
- Good performance evaluation besides competence mishaps
- Good reputation and relationship with subordinates and superiors
- Withdrawal from office competition
- Acquisition of an honorable status in office politics
- Avoidance of burned bridges
CONS OF BEING LIKED
- People are versatile and always changing opinion: wanting to be liked 24/7 is absolutely exhausting
- Backing out of work related arguments
- Being exploited and overlooked (for a promotion) because no boundaries have been set
- Being perceived as weak by your pairs
TIPS ON WORKING WITH YOUR LIKEABILITY
- Like yourself and put yourself first
- Learn to say No
- Quickly remove yourself from negative and abusive situation
- Being liked requires being nice but don’t trust anyone, don’t expect anything from anyone, don’t expect your niceness to be returned and consider the people that you are being nice to
- Stand up for yourself and for what is right
Sometimes being nice isn’t always the best thing because everyone knows that it‘s so easy to hurt nice people.
PROS OF BEING RESPECTED
- Ability to influence but not manipulate people
- Establishment of an efficient and productive work environment
- Acquisition of a respectable status in office politics
- Embodiment of the company’s culture and values
CONS OF BEING RESPECTED
- Existence of conflicts
- Continuously taking the high road
TIPS ON WORKING WITH YOUR RESPECTABILITY
- Avoid comparing yourself to your coworkers
- Avoid competing with your coworkers
- Avoid impulsive and impetuous behaviour
- Become an expert on your field
- Learn how to handle office politics
- Stay focused and in purpose
It is up to you to figure out if you are willing to pay the price.
Like and Share this post! Don’t forget to leave a comment below. Hope this will help You to get it together on your way to leadership!
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27 thoughts on “Likeability vs Respectability”
Never really thought about the differences between likability verses respectability, you make some great points. I loved how you came up with ways to increase both of them.
Thank you Crystal!
I think being respected might be more desirable than being liked. You don’t have to like everyone you work for or with, but you should respect them.
I Definitely agree with you! Thank you Helene Cohen Bludman for commenting!
My motto is you cant please everyone. Doing the right thing is always best.
Very much so. Even though doing the right thing is the hardest thing to do, it is always the best. Thank you Tara Pittman for commenting!
I’d rather be respected than liked. I don’t go to work to make friends. I go there to work and if I am liked, so be it.
I also rather respect. Thank you for commenting!
There is definitely a difference between being liked and respected and it is a very thin line to be able to get both. In the workplace especially when you’re in a higher rule you definitely need respect.
For sure. I 100% agree with you. The higher you climb the ladder, the more you need respect from your peers. Thank you Sarah Bailey for commenting!
Likability v respectability – that’s a good question – especially since they often do not go hand in hand. Personally I would like to believe I would promote someone I respected even if I couldn’t stand them, before promoting someone because I liked them.Fortunately I have never been put to that test
For me, it all depends on how closely I have to work with that person. However, because likeability is fluctuating and respectability is safer and hardly earned, I would promote someone I respected also. Thank you Michelle Gwynn Jones for commenting!
There were totally coworkers that I had that I liked. Did I respect them too? Not necessarily!
Rarely can you like and respect a coworker at the same time. Therefore, one has to be careful of the stance that they take. Thank you for commenting!
I always prefer to have respect over being liked. When it comes to work and career your not necessarily in need to be friends with everyone, but having their respect is so much more important.
I agree. Having respect is so much more effective in the workplace. Thank you for commenting!
Finding the right balance with likeability and being respected is a wise idea. However, it takes some consequence but that’s the beauty of it. Its challenging 🙂
Very much indeed! Thank you Blair Villanueva for commenting, nice seeing you around!
When I was younger, I wanted everyone in my crew to like me. As I got older, I realized I needed their respect, not their friendship!
This is very true! We get wiser with age and understand best what works for us. Thank you Kelly Hutchinson for commenting!
What a helpful way to compare both likeability and respectability! This has definitely given me lots of insight that I can utilize alongside my leadership skills—thanks!
Thanks Cathy Mini!
I’d rather choose respectability over likeability. I have always wanted to influence people and inspire them to be better at life.
Gee Villaruz, That’s a beautiful purpose. I hope that you are on your way… Thank you for commenting!
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